Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: THE WILLOUGHBYS (Netflix)

Netflix sure is stepping up their game when it comes to animated originals. THE WILLOUGHBYS is a fantastic, fun, original, yet weird kids movie that premiered back on the service in April, yet I didn’t hear about it until a recent visit to a friends place in Oklahoma for the weekend. I saw the release date was 2020, and following a recommendation from those friends’ kids that weekend, I decided to check it out. Boy am I glad I did. I’m glad I also waited to watch it with my young son and my wife, because we got to enjoy it together as a family. It’s based on the book by the famous Lois Lowry (I have never heard of this till now, who knew, right?!) and per IMDB it describes the film as: “Convinced they’d be better off raising themselves, the Willoughby children hatch a sneaky plan to send their selfish parents on vacation. The siblings then embark on their own high-flying adventure to find the true meaning of family.” And the whole story is fast paced loveliness with a dash of weird. It has colorful characters, morals about family that don’t try to hit you over the head with the messages, nice original animation that wasn’t trying to rip off anyone else’s work, and fantastic voice work from everyone involved, including, but not limited to: Ricky Gervais, Martin Short, Jane Krakowski, Terry Crews, Maya Rudolph, Alessia Cara (with a wonderful singing voice as well), and Will Forte (who really needed this, as his portrayal of Shaggy in the disappointing Scoob! just recently released seemed to be trying a bit too hard). This and Onward are the only two memorable animated films of the year so far.

This might only be a 2 paragraph review, as I don’t really want to spoil any of the surprises this film has in store for you and yours. Just know that other than the ending, this families predicament is far from predictable. Some wacky shit happens, some really cute shit happens, some dark shit happens, people are accidentally killed (well, if you see certain scenes from my eyes they did), tears will be shed, and smiles will be spread from cheek to cheek. This 2nd time director, Kris Pearn, whose first effort was Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2, is not a newbie to the animation world, as he worked in the animation departments for a ton of projects like Arthur Christmas, Open Season, and the very underrated Titan A.E. He and his crew do wonderful work here, as this is a film I can see revisiting with my family over and over and over again. After this and Klaus at the end of last year, Netflix really has something going on correctly with their animation productions. Why can’t they take that positive momentum and apply it to the original film department? Or hell, even what they choose to buy from other studios to put on their platform? Needless to say, I’ll always be weary with a new live-action Netflix original. However, I’ll be eager to press the play button if a new release from them is animated.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: FEEL THE BEAT (Netflix)

Instead of my typically 3 to 5 boring paragraph review for FEEL THE BEAT, or what it should’ve been called, “Not Another Competition Movie,” that just debuted on Netflix a couple of weeks ago, I am going to just do a checklist of all Competition & Dance movie cliches and see how many boxes it checks. Per IMDB, Feel The Beat stars Disney’s The Descendants Sofia Carson and describes the film as: “After failing to find success on Broadway, April returns to her hometown and reluctantly is recruited to train a misfit group of young dancers for a big competition.” That’s really all you need to know, you can probably just fish all the cliches out of the one sentence can’t you? Okay, let’s just dive right in shall we?

Protagonist fails in his/her career and she ends up trying to train a bunch of misfits (child, teen, or adult) in what she was good at to get back into his/her career
Protagonist wants to quit training these misfits at the beginning, but eventually the misfits get better and they all grow an everlasting bond
Protagonist has an ‘ex’ that they either left or had a bad break-up with before this career took off, where they spend the whole movie flirting and finally hook up near the end
After forming a bond with the misfits, the opportunity arises, MID COMPETITION MIND YOU, to get back into the protagonist’s career, and at first he/she takes the job, but that bond that they established earlier makes he/she have a chance of heart
But if you are a really oooey-gooey competition/dance movie, even though you leave the new job to go back to your group of misfits, somehow you still keep that job while still being a teacher to them in the end. Basically, you have your cake and eat it too.
One of the misfits the protagonist is trying to train is related to the old/new love interest
You have a bumbling moron of a assistant teacher, most likely a mom or dad that is a few tacos short of a combination plate.
At the beginning of the competition, where the protagonist’s group of misfits still suck ass and embarass themselves in the first leg of the contest, a technicality or a disqualification from another team will send you to the next round regardless of how terrible the group is
The competition sequences combined with the music are the only decent parts in the movie.
The Protagonist only has one supporting parent left, either by a tragic death or one of them was an asshole and left them both early in life. (this one parent left is barely in the film).
EXTRA #11: The Protagonists lose their career at the beginning because they have a mishap in a giant city like New York with the person that evaluates them not minutes later. (In this movie’s case, Sofia Carson steals the cab of the Broadway dance director that ends up running into her on the stage just minutes later. Out of HOW GOD DAMN BIG NEW YORK IS, THE ODDS OF THAT ARE NEAR FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE).

Alright, I think that’s enough. So how many of those boxes does Feel The Beat give a check mark to out of those ten? EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE. It’s kind of funny actually, that Eurovision Contest movie I just reviewed a couple of days ago, this checks off a lot of those cliched boxes as well. There’s a but coming, and here it is: this movie isn’t for someone like me, especially if it is straight to VOD/Netflix. I enjoy the occasional Pitch Perfect every now and then, but a movie like that manages to reinvent the genre just a tad rather than completely sticking to the rule book. Either that or the dialogue and chemistry of the lead and/or group makes up for its misgivings. Feel The Beat is a straight to video Netflix film with a small ass budget. It doesn’t have time to do new shit or reinvent anything. This completely sticks to the rule book and doesn’t change a thing about the genre. It has been on Netflix’s top ten most watched programs the past couple of weeks now, which is why I ended up checking it out (I hadn’t even heard of it until I saw it on the list). Sofia Carson also can’t act. Her transformation is completely unbelievable here, and the dialogue doesn’t help her in the slightest. The ragtag group of kids, save for the one that is related to Carson’s ex-boyfriend, are pretty unmemorable. The ex-boyfriend is also too Tom Cruisey Smiley McSmileson, it was so God damn annoying. This whole movie is annoying, unmemorable and very, very cheesy. However, if you are a sucker for that ooey-gooey feel good shit right now, or these movies are usually your jam, especially in these butt fucking unbearable times, I feel ya if you end up liking the beat.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: SEBERG (Amazon Prime)

In the manner of which Chandler says sarcastic comments on the television show Friends: “Could this movie BE any more boring?” SEBERG is super duper boring and it shouldn’t have been with the amount of content the filmmakers could’ve pulled from real life young starlet Jean Seberg’s crazy fast life that tragically ended when she was 40. But no, the movie focuses too much on only 3 years of it, and saves the most interesting aspects to happen either off screen or saved for dumb title cards right before it cuts to end credits. And it’s a shame, because Kristen Stewart gives a hell of a performance, arguably her best yet. And it’s even more of a shame considering that Kristen Stewart is acting like she finally wants to be there in the spotlight of Hollywood’s most prestige actors/actresses, she’s just picking the wrong films to try and have a resurgence in her career. After all, she’s had to apologize for the Twilight Saga multiple times the past several years. The real problem with the movie is that it tells and not shows. The movie jumps in time a little too much and we are told, through just a couple of sentences of dialogue, what has happened to her, and as a audience we are supposed to pick up and imagine those pieces to try and catch up to the present time of where these people are at. Yeah, never ever do that in your movie. Ever.

Always try and show, especially if you have the ability to. And they very much had the ability. This is an Amazon Prime original film, and it is also gorgeously shot, showing the glitz and glamour of Seberg’s home life, with decadent giant houses filled with nice looking amenities. They had to have had the budget or could’ve asked for more, to film these certain scenes we are just told that happened (I don’t want to give these scenes away as they are spoilers to Ms. Seberg’s life, but if you looked her up on Wikipedia and then watched the movie, you’d know what I’m talking about). But no, we are just told, which to me as a film critic, is very frustrating and always almost unforgivable save if you have a low budget and can’t do much, like Amazon Prime’s other recent original movie: The Vast Of Night. I’m reviewing this film because like Just Mercy and Portrait Of A Lady On Fire, the release date is kind of blurry between late 2019 and 2020. Couldn’t not find one theater to see it in when it was out, and then just dumped on Amazon Prime mid May. Well, there is a reason for the random dump, the film isn’t that great. The film is directed by Benedict Andrews, who I’m not familiar with, but when looking at his history, he is mostly a stage play director, which makes total sense, as the whole movie feels like it could be a stage play.

IMDB.com describes Seberg as: “Inspired by real events in the life of French New Wave icon Jean Seberg, the late 1960s, Hoover’s FBI targeted her because of her political and romantic involvement with civil rights activist Hakim Jamal.” To elaborate further on IMDB.com’s description. Hakim Jamal was part of the Black Panther movement, which the FBI was deeply scared and paranoid would commit an act of domestic terrorism on white people at the time. The film has the paranoia down pat, and the FBI infiltrating her life is a little interesting, but other than that, it is a snooze fest, consisting of decent performances that are wasted on nothing to do. Anthony Mackie and Zazie Beetz are in this too, playing Hakim and his wife respectively, but Hakim and Seberg’s affair is kind of glossed over with two small throwaway scenes of Beetz telling Stewart/Seberg to back off. There is also a side B plot involving one of the FBI agents, played by Unbroken’s Jack O’ Connell, who actually begins to have sympathy for Seberg’s plight, unfortunately it feels like that sympathy is rushed and just shoved into the ending climax confrontation between him and Seberg. They should’ve just made a biography on her whole life, her rise and fall from fame, and made it a bit longer. This movie only clocks in at a little under an hr and 40 minutes, but it all feels really superficial. If that makes any sense to you. Reading up on her, her life was anything but superficial, and it’s a shame that this boring product is what we got from it.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: 7500 (Amazon Prime)

Ryan Reynolds in a box. Colin Ferrell in a phone booth. And now Joseph Gordon-Levitt in a cockpit. That’s Buried, Phone Booth, and now 7500. What do these three movies have in common? Almost their entire run times take place in these little claustrophobic places and all three leading men are in some sort of predicament to get out of them. And while 7500, which debuted exclusively on Amazon Prime a couple of weeks ago, is probably my least favorite of the three, it is still a very effective little thriller, although some of the choices the screenwriters make are questionable. At first these “advance the plot” choices seem to be very realistic and bold, but then they have characters make really stupid decisions in order to make the movie longer. This movie is about 92 minutes, and 10 could’ve easily been cut out of it. I know that many filmmakers with short films try to get to that solid and tight common 90 minute mark, but if you don’t have the material, you don’t have the material. There is one choice that Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character makes in the movie that will have you screaming your head off, shouting “why, why didn’t you do that?” over and over again. I can answer that question for all of us, it was strictly to extend the run time unnecessarily.

Per IMDB.com, it describes 7500 as: “When terrorists try to seize control of a Berlin-Paris flight, a soft-spoken young American co-pilot struggles to save the lives of the passengers and crew while forging a surprising connection with one of the hijackers.” A lot of the film is eerily realistic. The way the hijackers try to take over the plane is genius, especially in a world where it is near impossible to get guns, knives, or any other kind of weapon aboard a plane. A lot of the decisions they make and then the decisions that Joseph Gordon-Levitt makes in the process of these 90 minutes are hauntingly brilliant, except for one. Basically, without giving anything away, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has a chance to kill one of the hijackers while he is knocked out, but instead just straps him into the dead head passenger seat. And it’s not really straps in more than it is buckling him up…where if JGL pays attention to the controls to try and find a way to land the plane safely, and then the terrorist wakes up…see what I’m getting at? Should’ve just killed that fucker. I would’ve. Other than that one really frustrating decision (I can think of plenty of ways to have advanced the plot to where it was without doing that), the rest of the movie is very solid.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt acts his ass off, and gives us one of his best performances ever. The film also takes some necessary risks. No character is safe in this, which is something I appreciated as well. The camera shots, angles, what have you, make the entire journey feel really claustrophobic to not just the characters, but to you on your couch at home. This isn’t a Hollywood-ized cockpit, where there is more room than necessary. They filmed inside a real cockpit, which as you know, doesn’t really have that much room. They way director Patrick Vollrath captured everything without cutting anything out of the frame at important times in the movie is unbelievable. Really good work on all sides. If I had one more complaint, is that I didn’t really care for Joseph Gordon-Levitt forging a surprising connection with one of the hijackers. If anything felt out of place in that movie, it was that and the dumb decision he made not to kill one of them early on. The acting when they were forging that connection seemed realistic and true enough, but I don’t know if I could see that happening in the situation that played out, seemed a little too convenient for me, but then again, that just could be me. Anyway, for a solid 92 minute film that mostly takes place in one location, it is a very tight and realistic thriller, just expect one or two moments of forced turbulence to take you off course for a couple of unneeded extra minutes.

Zach’s Zany…Netflix Game Show Reviews? WTF?: FLOOR IS LAVA!!!!

“This motherfucker is desperate for some clicks right here!” – future quote from one of you. That’s right, I’m going to do a small review on the new binge-able game show from Netflix that is sweeping the nation, FLOOR IS LAVA. It is ten episodes, ranging between 27-37 minutes each, and is a fantastic, fun, easy and cheesy way to kill 5 hours of your time. It was created and hosted by Auto Racing Analyst and co-host of Top Gear, Rutledge Wood, and the game is exactly as it sounds, but to the extreme. It’s basically one giant room filled with bubbly color dyed orange red water, that is transformed into 5 different kinds of settings with many obstacles and challenges to get from one side of the room to the other. There are different paths to take and sometimes you may have to go out of your way for a bit only to backtrack to make your journey easier. You have two to three contestants per group, and 2 to 3 groups compete depending on the episode. Depending on the number of people, you can get up to 3 points, but say only 1 or 2 people get across in one group, and then the same number get across in another group in the same room episode, the tie breaker is the least amount of time one or both people made it to the finish. And if you or none of your group makes it across, you are basically out of the competition, unless nobody from all groups make it but…spoiler alert…that never happened in the ten episodes I saw.

The five different rooms are: The Basement, The Bedroom, The Planetarium, The Kitchen, and The Study. With ten episodes, each room is done twice, but with two different levels, one being made a little more difficult than the other. Some paths have secret buttons or ropes that can be pulled that will either help or hinder your group, and some paths are safer or more dangerous than others. The “lava” is just a bubbling slicker kind of water with heavy food coloring and jets to make it look like it is bubbling out of a volcano. It’s actually pretty neat and visually amazing. There are some teams you will root for, like the smart or physically fit ones, and there are some teams you wish would just shut the fuck up and fall in already because they are loud and whiny or dumb and have the personalities of dead moths. Rutledge Wood narrates the whole thing, and has a grand voice and a witty personality, but he needs better writers for his dumb and cheesy one liners that always fell flat to me. But it’s all in good fun. The prize? $10,000 each episode to the winning group.

I just wished there were more than just 5 rooms. It is big enough to do different types of settings, and maybe get more out of them than just being ordinary house room set ups. Have a jungle room, or an Antarctica room, or a science fiction room, or a movie room. The possibilities and challenges are endless. Maybe they will have more up their sleeves next season. Also, they need to bring back the winners to some of these rooms and challenge other winners in a different set up that neither has played before. That would be interesting to see. This season, anybody that wins or loses doesn’t come back for a second round, which was a little disappointing. Some I would like to see do different rooms for sure. Don’t bring back everybody though, there are some groups of…younger millennials I could go my whole life without ever seeing again.

Floor Is Lava will make you want to create a set up in your home after you’ve watched 10 episodes and, albeit rather carefully, play it with your family. Shit, my two year old loved this show, every time someone didn’t make it or fell into the lava he’d go “he/she fall down!” or “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!” My wife and I had a lot of fun watching it as a family. A great time killer, even though I wish it were more challenging next time with hopefully more zany and fun obstacles and rooms for people to have to get through. You’ll be cringing and yelling at the screen, giving contestants advice and criticism even though you know they can’t hear you. It’s interactive without being interactive, and this amount of fun is kind of what we need right now, don’t you think?

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: IRRESISTIBLE

How can Jon Stewart, one of the masters of political satire, with his long stint on The Daily Show at Comedy Central, write and direct such a mediocre film such as IRRESISTIBLE? It’s almost unforgivable. And while I never saw his first movie, Rosewater, more of a political drama than anything else, that debuted to lukewarm reviews in theaters several years ago…after seeing this, I don’t know if I want to take my chances. Like I mentioned in my previous review, My Spy, this is another film that was supposed to hit theaters late May, but is now instead a $19.99 48 hr rental on most streaming platforms. I initially was going to actually pay the $19.99 out of my own pocket (the only one I have rented at that hefty of a price tag was for The King Of Staten Island, and that was fortunately worth every penny). But then the reviews started to come out in advance of its 6/26 debut, and I decided to hold back. Thank Christ I did, as that Friday I entered several contests to win free rental codes to watch it, and I actually won three of those contests (don’t ask about/for the other two, already gave them to cinephile friends like myself). Do I recommend spending $19.99 to even those most die hard political activists that desperately want to check this out? Absolutely fucking not. The only thing I would recommend is watching the last 10 to 15 minutes of this film when it eventually comes on Netflix or something else. The late act twist and end credits is clearly what Jon Stewart was trying to write a whole fictional movie around, when instead he should’ve just made what would’ve been a much more interesting, and much more to say voice wise, documentary.

Jon Stewart would make an excellent documentary filmmaker. His fictional writing needs a shit load more work. Irresistable is very, very, very, very boring. Save for the last 10 to 15 minutes and end credits, this product is a total misfire. You know the saying “more bark than bite”? Here, there is absolutely no bite, and the bark is more like silent whimpers that you can only hear if your ear is right up to the canine’s snout. This movie is too on the nose with its political satire, jokes and insights. Everything that the film is trying to say, whether it’s how much money is wasted on political campaigns to how to manipulate the voters and the system, is just “no duh” logic here. The jokes aren’t witty, the dialogue isn’t witty, it just presents to you the facts that we already kind of know to be true, accompanied by lame punch lines that repeatedly ask the obvious question, “do…do you get it?” Yes, we fucking get it, and we knew all of this before hand Mr. Stewart. You had great insight whenever you were on The Daily Show, so why did you decide to write and direct a political satire with absolutely nothing new to say? Especially this election year, 2020, where you could’ve just made a documentary that represents the here and now on current candidates running in the fall? Why did we get a film that was just plain boring and unfunny? Mr. Stewart, if you ever read this, and you probably never will, let me give you some advice: do not write a fictional story around your “neat” plot twist that you came up with and did some real research on. You are only asking for trouble when any screenwriter/director does this. A plot twist not a movie make.

Per IMDB.com, Irresistible involves” “A Democratic strategist that helps a retired veteran run for mayor in a small, conservative Midwest town.” However, when the 2004 film Welcome To Mooseport (Gene Hackman’s last film that co-starred fucking Ray Romano when he hadn’t had his career resurgence yet with The Big Sick) is better than this garbage, and that film was a least somewhat enjoyable garbage, you know you have a problem. The only thing redeemable about this movie is the final twist that the movie was built from, the end credits, and Rose Bryne stealing every scene she is in, but what else is new with that? She’s not even in the movie enough for it to make a bit of a difference. Steve Carell and Chris Cooper, veterans of comedy and drama, don’t help matters much by completely being on autopilot the entire time. And that doesn’t make any sense with the former, as Carell and Stewart are best buddies from their time on The Daily Show. Surely Carell could’ve acted more like he wanted to be there. The main problem with this film is that, when you are supposed to be a comedy, and you barely elicited even a chuckle the entire hour and 40 minute run time, you are no longer a comedy, you are an absolute bore.

I’m serious though when I think Jon Stewart could make a powerful documentary. In the closing credits to this film, Jon Stewart briefly interviews a person that was in politics, and they discuss whether the twist in Jon Stewart’s film could actually happen. Sorry, not giving away that twist here. But what this real life person reveals, in just a few short sentences, was more shocking and more interesting than the entire film that came before it. And the info given to us wasn’t fictional, it didn’t have dolly shots or any interesting angles, it was just a camera on a guy, with a simple question being asked to them: “Can this happen?” And it was great. If Jon Stewart could take that, make it into a 90 to 120 minute political documentary, but have it deal with issues that are more relevant and interesting to what we are going through currently, he could honestly be the next Michael Moore. But with a more legitimate and less biased approach and voice. He could literally make a difference in the world with what he has to say. He did it with The Daily Show, what is stopping him now? I’ll tell you exactly what: a half-assed fictional satire story that will put you to sleep…one that nobody asked for or needed. Resist seeing this movie at all costs…maybe someday Stewart can give us something more powerful where we’ll end up not being able to help ourselves and listen.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: MY SPY (Amazon Prime)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDyet another movie that didn’t get to premiere in theaters because of the asshole known as COVID-19. Without me dragging this review into extreme boredom by re-stating my theory in detail of why these studios are choosing to release these films straight to streaming instead of just waiting for theaters to reopen back up, I’ll just sum it up in 4 words: They aren’t any good. And that theory has been proven time and time again, except for one exception: The King Of Staten Island. I heard Trolls: World Tour sucked, I’m told that You Should Have Left sucked, the grapevine has told me that The High Note with Dakota Johnson wasn’t that great, I thought Scoob! was a massive disappointment, I thought The Lovebirds was mediocre, and I’m about to review another $19.99 premium rental after this that wasn’t very good, have I covered everything thus far? Now here we are at MY SPY, that instead of waiting for theaters to re open, was just dumped this past weekend on Amazon Prime. And unfortunately, it adds onto the pile of new premium VOD releases that haven’t been any good. But this review is going to come with a very special disclaimer: this film was never meant for me (Trolls: World Tour probably wasn’t either to be fair). But then that raises the question…who is this film really for?

The reason I ask that question is that this movie is rated PG-13 and has a pretty hefty amount of explosions, people getting shot and killed, stabbed, accidental knife throw injuries, and it even has a very shoddy looking CGI decapitated head flying across a screen. Yet, the movie is basically a love child of Cop And A Half & Kindergarten Cop (both superior to this, IMO), with enough goofy innocent shenanigans & banter between Bautista and child actress Chloe Coleman to make it a little less harmful than the two movies I just mentioned. So what, in my opinion only of course, is the age ranges of this movie? Now remember, before I answer that question, any movie that you put out on the market, the age range needs to expand more than a 10 year period. With My Spy, I’d say the age of enjoyment would only be from ages 6 to 10, and be only really appropriate with its PG-13 rating from ages 8 to 10. 10 years and older, will think that this film is silly and stupid, unless you are a teenager or an adult with a child like heart of gold. So when you do the math, that is only a 4 year range of enjoyment, with a 2 year range of appropriateness. Needless to say, that is not a very marketable movie for Hollywood studios. Because as I watched this with very minor enjoyment at a couple of scenes, I had trouble seeing this film make any sort of money whatsoever if it had debuted in theaters. Hence, I guess that’s why it was ultimately released on Amazon Prime.

But there were plenty of scenes while watching this where they could’ve cut some of the violence to get that coveted PG rating I think they were going for. There was unnecessary language at parts that could’ve been cut out. They didn’t need the decapitation gag for sure. And some of the deaths could’ve happened off screen. Due to the nature of the plot per IMDB.com, it really shouldn’t have been as violent as it was: “A hardened CIA operative finds himself at the mercy of a precocious 9-year-old girl, having been sent undercover to surveil her family.” That sounds like a goofy family friendly fun. Well it is goofy, a little too much for believability sake sometimes, but it isn’t that family friendly. Well, it is and it isn’t, you all with families will be the ultimate judge. I’m just reviewing the movie based on what I thought of it alone: it was a cheesy, cliched filled, nothing you haven’t seen before in a movie like this, dumb, one time-watch. It had a couple of moments of chuckled originality, but isn’t that great in terms of quality by any means. Dave Bautista at least looks like he wanted to be there, this is the most tolerable I’ve ever been in regards to the performance of Ken Jeong, Kristen Schaal is still playing her annoying character from The Last Man On Earth, and kid actor Chloe Coleman steals all of the scenes she is in.

The film is directed okay, although a lot of the action scenes are very CGI sketchy and kind of bland in terms of location shooting and choreography. This needed to be directed by an action director that can also do a bit of comedy, of which Peter Segal is the latter but not the former. He’s directed only two of, what you would call, “action pictures.” The Naked Gun 3 and Get Smart, both of which weren’t very good. I’d say this is on par with those. An okay effort, but mainly fruitless. There is a lot more of you out there that will totally disagree with me on this, and that is okay, like I said, this movie wasn’t made for me. I was just bored on a Saturday afternoon and I figured, okay, if I watch this with my wife in the room, this would’ve been like paying $20 on a night out at the theater, but it is now for free since it went straight to streaming. That’s what this film will ultimately be known for to me, that it saved me $20. Will I revisit it after a little time has passed and when Grayson is a little older? Maybe between those ages I talked about above. It also depends on his taste at the time. But will I ever seek this movie out again for pure enjoyment? Absolutely fucking not. Look on the bright side, at least it was better than Dave Bautista’s last film, which was a little R rated comedy called Stuber. How a PG-13 kids film was better than that garbage, I will never know. I spy, with my little eye, a film that will be forgotten in a few months time.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: EUROVISION SONG CONTEST – THE STORY OF FIRE SAGA (NETFLIX)

If someone were to put a needle in my arm, filled with COVID-19, and say to me, “you have to review EUROVISION SONG CONTEST: THE STORY OF FIRE SAGA in only one sentence or we are going to expose you to this virus,” well, the current me would say, “go ahead, make my day.” But if I were in a better mood I’d confess, “The movie is only worth watching once because of Rachel McAdams and Dan Stevens alone, Will Ferrell is awful in it, and the second half is better than the first.” I think they’d allow me a run on sentence, don’t you agree? I think that sentence describes the film excellently. If Rachel McAdams weren’t in it and if she just wasn’t just so damn charming as hell, this whole movie would’ve been another Will Ferrell clusterfuck. Because he is annoyingly awful in it. Like you want to choke him to death just so he’ll shut the fuck up kind of awful. This is another one of his long title comedies, and he used to be able to get away with just yelling random shit that made absolutely no sense. That was only acceptable (and sometimes hilariously funny) more than a decade ago. It no longer works. And while the film has a pretty solid 2nd half (we get some good random jokes that are paid off well from the beginning), the first half is so boring, awful, and goes nowhere to the point that I just can’t quite recommend it. That is, unless you are a die hard Rachel McAdams fan, which I certainly am. So do I or don’t I? Depends on my mood.

Per IMDB.com, Eurovision Song Contest is described as: “When aspiring musicians Lars and Sigrit are given the opportunity to represent their country at the world’s biggest song competition, they finally have a chance to prove that any dream worth having is a dream worth fighting for.” Will Ferrell is Lars and Rachel McAdams are Sigrit, and while Ms. McAdams plays the part convincingly, charmingly, and acts like she wants to be there, Will Ferrell is…too much there. If that makes any sense. Compared to McAdams, his Iceland accent is abysmal, and while her facial expressions convey well to the written word of her character, Ferrell seems to put on a new face every couple of seconds, throwing anything at the wall to see what sticks. But nothing does, and this ultimately makes his character a non-character. Just a lame impression you put on at cocktail parties, trying to get a laugh out of a drunken moment between friends, and nothing more. But here, the audience is stone cold sober, and we couldn’t care less. Dan Stevens plays a rival musician from Russia, and he, along with Ms. McAdams, steals every scene that he is in, the movie just needed a better lead. And a better co-writer. Will Ferrell co wrote this with an individual named Andrew Steele. I have a feeling that Ferrell only got a screenplay writing credit because of his improv. Andrew Steele probably wrote the only decent parts of the story. He should’ve given the script to a better comedian instead of Ferrell, you probably just pointed at different parts of the script and said, “I think I’ll just yell and scream something insignificant here.”

The first half is not funny at all, except for a boat explosion, and the movie only gets by because of Rachel McAdams and the believable charming innocence of her character. She literally lifts up the movie on her shoulders. Had she not been in it, I would’ve probably turned it off at minute 20. That’s another complaint, at a little over too hours, the movie is way too long. Could’ve been a much more solid 95 minutes. When you watch it, notice how things that should happen at the start of the 3rd act happen when there is still an hour left of the film, only half way through. The film has very odd pacing issues and it drags in moments that should’ve been entirely cut out of the film. The music & songs, written by Demi Lovato’s (she has a fun little cameo in the movie) song writer, are actually quite good and they keep parts of the movie, that would’ve just dragged everything even further, somewhat afloat. It’s the second half that picks up steam when it actually gets to the heart of the contest, the semi-finals and finals, with cool performances from what I can only guess are real contestants that have actually performed at the real Eurovision Contests in years past and present. Combine those interesting moments with some God damn hilarious elf and ghosts jokes and you’ll probably find yourself chuckling if not laughing out loud a few times toward the end. If only the first half had matched the pacing and wit of the climax.

The film is directed by David Dobkin, director of Wedding Crashers, his first comedy since 2011’s The Change Up (a guilty pleasure for me, it’s that Ryan Reynolds/Jason Bateman hard R-Rated body switch movie). While everything seemed to me to be just a point and shoot affair, I liked that there was a lot of location shooting in Iceland and possibly at the place where the real Eurovision Song Contest was held. While there was definitely some green screen effects whenever the characters were on boats, the exterior shots of the gorgeous landscapes of Iceland and showing that the actors were actually there was a nice little touch. If you go into this expecting something akin to classics of Will Ferrell’s past such as Anchorman 1 or Talladega Nights or even something like Wedding Crashers, you will come out very disappointed. The film is rated PG-13 and it isn’t really even a hard PG-13, not to say that a harder rating would’ve automatically made this film much better, but I really would’ve liked to see this movie go to darker, raunchier, and funnier places than it ended up going. And Will Ferrell needs to fucking tone it down a bit. You can tell he’s getting desperate for laughs, but in his desperation he is tripping over his own feet. If he keeps this up any longer, he is going to end up flat on his face, no longer able to get up, and his career will end up being an awful dumpster fire saga.

Zach’s Zany TV Binge Watchin’ Reviews: THE TWILIGHT ZONE SEASON 2 (CBS ALL ACCESS)

This is a review as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the written middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of my opinions and the summit of my zaniness. This is a review of imagination. It is a review of…the Twilight Zone. Season 2 to be exact. And instead of one episode being released a week over the course of two months, like last season, all 10 episodes of this new go around were dropped on June 25th…and I have a feeling we can thank the Twilight Zone we are living in currently, that of the nightmare of COVID-19. Anyway, instead of doing a two episode, five part review like I did last year, I’m just dropping what I think of all ten episodes after I binged them this weekend. My reviews will start with the title of each episode, then an IMDB.com description, then a couple of sentences of what I thought, and then a letter grade. And at the end of the review, I will write a final paragraph of my overall thoughts and then an overall letter grade (also my overall grade of last season). So let’s begin:

S2, Episode 1: MEET IN THE MIDDLE

Per IMDB, “A lonely bachelor makes a telepathic connection with a stranger, but not everything is as it seems in his new romance.”

Jimmi Simpson (the younger Ed Harris on Westworld) and a largely absent, physically wise (mostly voice over) Gillian Jacobs (Britta on Community) star in this overlong, but ultimately satisfying tale of two strangers that get to know each other by conversing with their minds. In part because of my ultimate disappointment of Season 1, there was several ways that I thought it would conclude, and if it had been one of those ways, I would’ve known that we were going to be on another very bumpy ride and ultimately ho-hum ride like we got in 2019. It even started out by one of those ways, but a very last minute twist, the ones that the old Twilight Zones with Rod Sterling were known for, puts everything into a different perspective, and the episode really sticks the landing. Jimmi Simpson, who is incredible in most of the supporting roles he does in other programs, is no different here, acting with his face and body movement, adding significant layers to his character where if it had been only dialogue, it would’ve completely failed his character. Gillian Jacobs at first sounds too much like Britta from Community, but that is just my minor stupid complaint, as I eventually got used to her voice and enjoyed her overall performance. The episode is well shot and looked stunning. But that wasn’t a surprise, considering one of the only saving grace’s from last season was all the episodes’ cinematography. To change it now would’ve been an unforgiving crime.

Grade: B+

S2, Episode 2: DOWNTIME

Per IMDB, “After a woman is promoted to hotel manager, the nature of her reality is called into question.”

The most important thing to note about this episode is it is the one that Jordan Peele actually had a giant hand in this season. He wrote it and he wrote it alone. The mastermind behind Get Out and Us wrote an episode of The Twilight Zone, and needless to say that when I heard he was writing just one episode this season, I knew that it would be my most anticipated new episode to watch. He didn’t write any of the episodes last season. My verdict? The best episode of the bunch, which makes me wish that Jordan Peele had more up his sleeve with this series than just being “The Narrator” and a co-creator/executive producer. Don’t get me wrong, he is absolutely fantastic as the narrator and sometimes gives Rod Serling a run for his money, but his writing skills are more what I look forward to these days. Now to reiterate, he only wrote this, did not direct, but he must’ve knew his script had been in good hands, as the imagery is perfect for the budget the show has, and it flowed well with Peele’s written word. Firefly & Deadpool’s Morena Beccarin stars in this, and she’s absolutely fantastic, one of her best roles. I am not going to reveal anything about the episode as I believe it is the shortest of the bunch (just a hair over 30 minutes) and that the surprises are too good to give out any sort of appetizer. Just bon a petite on this one.

Grade: A+

S2, Episode 3: THE WHO OF YOU

per IMDB, “A struggling actor risks everything to catch his big break, but an impulsive scheme takes a few unexpected turns.”

Actor Ethan Embry (Can’t Hardly Wait) made this episode what it is. Just to get the concept out of the way, because it is revealed early what exactly is going on, it is a twisted take on a Freaky Friday like situation. This episode has multiple instances of an individual switching between bodies, which allowed Ethan Embry to have to play multiple different characters, and he is absolutely perfect with each and everyone. So do some of the other actors. I don’t want to reveal the scheme or plot of this twisted Freaky Friday adventure, but needless to say, it is a episode that earned it’s tad above 40 minute run time. The ending is a tad predictable with you having to suspend belief on a small little twist revealed in the very last minutes of the whole thing, but the episode was entertaining, looked great, and was better than most of the episodes in season one, so my minor complaints are ultimately unwarranted.

Grade: A-

S2, Episode 4: OVATION

per IMDB, “A struggling singer’s music career takes off when she witnesses a tragic incident, but she soon realizes that her recognition comes at a steep cost.”

And we have our first meh episode of the season. Meh because it didn’t really bring anything interesting to the table when talking about fame and how it can be overwhelming, corrupt, and meaningless. The concept is that this street singer finds a magic coin that gets her fame and fortune. But she soon realizes that the fame coming from it is too manufactured, as common folk aren’t really listening to her music, just keep clapping and giving her standing ovations for no reason. It is an interesting concept and yet not fully realized or executed correctly. Jurnee Smollet-Bell (Black Canary in Birds of Prey) is a fantastic actress, and she is really the only thing that keeps this episode from being total garbage. A last minute Twilight Zone twist also degrades the episode, as it makes no sense to a supporting character’s motivations. At all. The episode is gorgeously shot though.

Grade: C

S2, Episode 5: AMONG THE UNTRODDEN

per IMDB, “A transfer student’s unusual interests make her an easy target at her new all-girls boarding school before she discovers her popular classmate’s special talent.”

But if you watch the series in episode order like I did, it does do a slight uptick with Episode 5 before we again get a couple of stinkers. And the funny thing about this episode is that it stars only unknown actresses, not a single recognizable face in the bunch. This episode is Carrie like, as it is revealed early on that the special talent might or might not involve mind reading, telekinetic like powers, etc.. It’s a nice little story that comes with a last minute twist that I should’ve seen coming but glad I didn’t. The young women in this could actually act and their characters were more than just one dimensional robots. It was kind of refreshing. The episode, of course, was also gorgeously shot. I only give it a little less than an A- because they could’ve done so much more with the concept. But if they did, would it have been bloated and convoluted? Who’s to say?

Grade: B+

S2, Episode 6: “8”

per IMDB, “A team of scientists discover a new highly intelligent species that may endanger more than their research.”

Alien/Life/Deep Blue Sea rip off but instead of an alien or shark it is a small octopus. I liked the visuals but the end twist is telegraphed from far away and nothing was unique about it at all. Also, Joel McHale is completely wasted in his talent here. Nothing much more to say about this disappointing episode. It’s just there.

Grade: C

S2, Episode 7: A HUMAN FACE

per IMDB, “A grieving couple are led to second guess what’s worth leaving behind when an otherworldly encounter interrupts their move.”

What is a great concept here of parents dealing with their grief of a child recently deceased is bogged down in lengthy scenes of snooze worthy dialogue and the fact that I was never going to buy the “otherworldly encounters” persuasion. You’ll get what I mean when it all presents itself. There’s no way. It would’ve been a three minute episode if I was the father. Great acting by Christopher Meloni and Jenna Elfman but this short “bottle” episode (takes place almost entirely in this couples house) was too long even at an even 30 minutes. And the boring dialogue, where an alien is literally just standing there and talking for almost 10 minutes just keeps going on and on and on and on and on. Great visuals, shoddy execution. The script needed more. But definitely not my least favorite episode…

Grade: C-

S2, Episode 8: A SMALL TOWN

per IMDB, “A church handyman discovers a magic scale that gives him the power to help his small town, but the mayor takes all the credit for his good intentions.”

Tricked you there didn’t I? You thought I was going to say that my least favorite episode was this one, but I fooled you, this is actually probably my second favorite. I don’t want to talk about it much because to do so would ruin the surprise that the church handyman comes upon. It has fantastic visuals and a wonderful ending that I didn’t see coming. The church handyman is played excellently by Damon Wayans, Jr., stretching out of his comedy chops for a change. This is also a shorter episode, coming it at just over 30 minutes, and it doesn’t waste a minute of it. Engaging, good story telling, and acting, make this one of the few episodes of both seasons that I wouldn’t mind checking out a couple of more times.

Grade: A

S2, Episode 9: TRY, TRY

per IMDB, “A man dazzles a woman with his seemingly miraculous abilities, but their encounter takes a dark turn when the true source of his charisma is revealed.”

Nope, still not my least favorite episode. In fact, I would say that this may be my third favorite and a “bottle” episode done correctly. I’ll just get the mans miraculous abilities out of the way, Topher Grace is a man that is going through a Groundhog Day like experience. And he’s trying to wooo this woman on a spontaneous date to the museum. I love Groundhog’s Day concepts when done correctly, and this one does. It takes place mostly inside the museum, hence why I called it a bottle episode, and the dialogue is witty, smart, and makes you think. This twist on that “living the same day over and over concept” is the first one to make me think hard what I would do in that situation since the Bill Murray early 90s classic. Also, this contains Topher Grace’s best performance. Ever.

Grade: A-

S2, Episode 10: YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

per IMDB, “A stay-at-home housewife is looking forward to acquiring a heavily marketed device that promises to make everything better forever, but the product has an unsavory truth.”

I thought they were supposed to save the best for last, not the worst. This episode is God fucking awful, and it might be the worst episode of The Twilight Zone from these two new seasons we’ve gotten. This or that ‘Not All Men’ Me Too piece of shit catastrophe we had to witness more than a year ago. And this one was written and directed by Osgood Perkins, son of Anthony Perkins (Norman Bates in Psycho). He wrote and directed The Blackcoat’s Daughter, which I heard was good but had never seen, and he directed Gretel & Hansel, of which I heard the visuals were great but the movie was boring and the script sucked. This is how I would describe the latter. And what is ultimately disappointing? This is a sequel to a very old Twilight Episode. I’ll let you do the research to find out which one, but it is a classic. This is not. The heavily marketed device is called and EGG and you can guess what it is right off the bat. The script kind of makes fun of commercialism, but its message is blurry and skewed and doesn’t come off across well at all. It is an episode weird for the sake of being weird, and I can’t stand that shit. Awful, awful, awful episode. The only thing stopping this from getting an F is the visuals, which are great. Mr. Perkins, don’t write anything ever again, get a good script from a good writer and you could do wonders. Gretchen Mol stars in this, and she’s a good actress and isn’t the problem here. Entirely the scripts fault.

Grade: D-

In conclusion, this season is a vast improvement over last season. I enjoyed 6 episodes out of 10 here, where in the first season I enjoyed maybe only 3 or 4 of ten. The show still needs some improvement (there should really only be one, maybe too iffy episodes, but what I liked about this season is that they mostly got rid of the political and Me Too themes and instead went with an overall human morality/consequences vibe. Stick to that kind of story telling please. We don’t need Trump bashing or man bashing episodes every other twisted tale. I really hope it is renewed for a season three. Maybe third times the grand charm with this. I did some research on the writers and some of them from the first season were recycled here. Might I suggest getting a whole new team and let them try their hand at conjuring up something demented and delicious? Maybe have Jordan Peele write two or three episodes? Maybe get actual masters of horror like Ari Aster or Alexandre Aja to try and give us nightmares for nights to come? Just don’t ever get rid of Jordan Peele’s involvement. He is the best narrator for the show since original creator Rod Serling. Just get him more involved. Also, make stories not just place their bets on a twist alone, the whole thing should be prepared well so that the twist is earned and doesn’t just feel out of left field. Until next time, I have to say, much more satisfied with my trip to The Twilight Zone. Since we are living one with COVID-19 right now. But maybe it’s only chance at a season 3 is that people discover this because they are so bored and new content is drying up. We’ll see if it can capture more imaginations.

MY OVERALL SEASON 2 GRADE: B

The Overall Grade I Gave Season 1: C-

Zach’s Zany Return To The Theaters: Back To The Movies w/ Back To The Future!!!

At least if theaters get shut down again soon because of all the spikes of COVID-19, I can finally say that my last trip to the theater was not Bloodshot starring Vin Diesel anymore, but now Back To The Future starring acting professionals. I did it. I went back to where I belong. I almost cried when I was sitting in my luxury recliner. And it wasn’t out of nervousness. It was out of joy of being back. Even if it was by myself. Even if it was a quick two hours that went by so fast even though I’ve seen Back To The Future dozens of times. It was pure magic. I noticed some things I have never noticed about the movie before or plot threads I haven’t thought about in years. We need movies. We need movie theaters again. We need that brief escape from reality, even if we do have to just watch classics we’ve already seen or own for awhile. To me, movies are essential. And when I heard that one of ONLY 3 CINEMARK THEATERS IN THE COUNTRY opening back up the weekend of June 19th was one less than 5 miles away from me, I knew I had to be there. And the cherry on top? It was free. Since I was still a Cinemark Movie Club member they are allowing you to see 3 Classic Comebacks for you and a friend (6 free tickets) till 7/23 (before the new shit comes out, knock on wood). Which was even more an incentive to go. I even shot video of me entering Cinemark North McKinney to see if all the social distancing practices were being respected and to physically witness all that the employees were trying to do to keep the facility clean and comforting. The main question: did I feel safe? Right as I stepped inside the facility: abso-fucking-lutely I did.

100%. Even though some of the patrons were not wearing masks (ALL THE EMPLOYEES WERE) at least they were practicing safe social distancing and were also using the many sanitizing stations that were put up all around the lobby and facility. The whole place smelled clean, it looked clean, and while I didn’t get any concessions this time, the social distancing practices I could see of customers getting their snacks were upheld perfectly. Although there were a few popcorn kernels in the hallways (and to be fair I think a movie had just gotten out and some customers might have just accidentally spilled some), it was the cleanest theater I have ever seen in my entire life, and you know me, I’ve seen a shit ton of theaters. If I had one complaint, only one small one, is that when I entered the actual theater showing Back To The Future, the employees were still cleaning. BUT that is just a very minor complaint, as it was interesting seeing them with this cart filled with a shit ton of cleaning supplies and chemicals and seeing them wipe down each and every crevice of each and every chair. It was certainly a sight to see. And they definitely did not let customers sit down in their seats unless they were finished with their row (I had to wait 2 to 3 minutes since my row was near the bottom of the first section). Maybe the employees still cleaning (with masks on of course) was intentional so customers can feel safe with what they see. I certainly felt safe, and any sense of discomfort was completely washed away when I sat down permanently until the movie started.

And I filmed all of this by the way, if you go to my Facebook page and scroll down a bit I put three to four videos of my trip to the theater (that includes my car almost being hit by some inconsiderate asshole that just HAD to back their truck into the parking spot next to me when there were plenty of other spaces around that they could’ve drive through to have their front out…fuckers). I filmed all these so you wouldn’t just take my word for it. But be warned, also with not visiting concessions, I didn’t use the bathrooms either, so I can’t really tell what those are like. Is there pee pee and poo poo still in the bowls from customers that don’t know how to fucking flush a fucking toilet? I have no idea. But suffice to say, I think if I went in there it would’ve been the cleanest theater bathroom I’d have ever visited as well. That’s just my guess though. If you go back to the movies and experience something completely different let me know. But after the movie started playing, I was back where I truly belonged. Enjoyed every moment of it, in fact, this is one of the best times an audience had been respectful during the movie. No one talked, no one turned on their phone or made annoying noises. And I guarantee you that at least 90 – 95% of the people in my theater (there were only about 50-55 people with a socially distanced theater, and my 8 pm show was a sold out socially distanced showing) had seen Back To The Future before. The only funny thing: during the movie, when Doc Brown was saying he was going to go 25-30 years into the future near the beginning of the film, an audience member yelled out, “Don’t go to 2020 doc!” The whole theater, including me, roared with laughter. It was the perfect joke to ease the tension. Wish I could’ve thanked him, don’t know who it was though.

With the actual seats/tickets themselves, you basically have to have a smart phone, as there are no paper tickets (you have to scan your QR ticket code), and they do not accept cash of any kind concessions or tickets wise. Well, on the latter, that is not entirely true as there was a small place marked off for those who only had cash and one designated employee taking that cash and transferring it into a gift card (but there wasn’t many people at this station thank God, but that could always change with new movies and more showings/people). After taking that cash with gloves on, the employee would take those gloves carefully off, sanitize their hands, and then put another new set of gloves on (how annoying is that? come one people, use credit/debit cards as they were meant to be used and help these employees out a bit for right now!). Another small complaint, I would like late showings again. I have a small child and put him to bed around 8, and 8 was their latest show out of all the movies they were playing that whole weekend (I do have a wonderful wife that said it was okay to go and said she would take care of bed time alone for him this time, a Father’s Day weekend gift if you will). I would like some 9 pm – 10 pm shows again. I get however why they aren’t doing that quite yet. Hopefully that maybe changes sooner rather than later.

The ticket scanning employee, even though he wears a mask, has a giant plastic shield he stands behind while scanning tickets. That’s how legit Cinemark is being right now. I tell you, it was something to see, and I highly encourage you to support your local theater when it opens, even if it is for a older movie you’ve seen at first. By supporting them, we shouldn’t get any more delays for upcoming new films like Tenet or Wonder Woman 1984. And if you are one of those people that are like, ” ‘Murica! This is a free country I can do what I want!” That’s pretty shitty and selfish thinking during these times. We have GOT to think of others right now. The health of others and the safety of others. Wearing a mask is not a political statement, it is a safety issue, and if the CDC and WHO say that wearing a masks helps (even though they’ve been flip floppy on some of COVID-19 data and safety measures), let’s trust them for a little bit until a good vaccine is developed and ready to ship out. I think wearing masks should be mandatory right when you step into the building and can only be taken off for when you eat snacks or drink a drink. But I’m probably in the minority on that, and that’s okay. Cinemark knows how to compensate, as when you guys your tickets to the movie, the two seats to the left of you are automatically grayed out so no one can get them, and the two seats to the right of you are as well. And you can sit in groups of friends of course, but if you want to sit together, you have to buy the tickets all together. I’d say that is a sacrifice worth making, especially if you have friends that are good at paying you back. Like I do.

Anyway, this entire review was just to assure those who have qualms about going to the movies again, at least with Cinemark, and the specific theater I went to this weekend, your fears should easily melt away. I understand though those of you that still won’t be convinced by me. And that’s okay. Maybe you are protecting a friend or loved one that has a bad immunity system that you see often. Maybe you yourself have a bad immunity system and you could possibly get very ill or maybe even pass away if you contracted the virus. I get it. I do. I just need the movies. So if I have to do some extra precautions, like wear a mask, socially distance myself from people, use sanitizing stations a bunch or wash my hands for awhile in the bathroom, or not buy concessions right now, I will do as much as I can do safely, not just out of concern for me and me only, but for others to feel safe as well. To get past this virus, we need to set aside all political differences, any kind of differences really, and try to help each other out. Think about your choices for awhile going forward. Think about how those choices will effect not just yourself, but others around you. If you can still do those choices while maintaining social distancing and also implementing every possible cleaning measure to yourself (yes, that includes a mask), I’d say that’s a risk you can take. And if you somehow still get the virus, even being extra careful, I guess you were meant to get it anyway? And that absolutely sucks. I get it. There is only one true certainty: COVID-19 is a cocksucking mother fucker and we’ll all look back at 2020 as one of the shittiest shit stain year in this living generations history. If not THE shittiest fucking year. But if you can get that thought out of your mind, while being extra careful physically, and instead fill it with two hours of a fun filled adventure that includes time travel hi jinks where the plot has the protagonists own mother falling in love with him…I say take that risk.

P.S. If you clicked on this review of Back To The Future, thinking I was actually going to talk about the film in depth, you are a moron. Especially if you have never seen it. It is a classic and never needs to be re made. That’s all that needs to be said.

On July 31st, I will #RiskItForTenet.