Zach’s Zany TV Binge Watchin’ Reviews: MARVEL’S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. FINAL SEASON 7 (& series as a whole)

Ah, MARVEL’S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. what an interesting journey, both on screen and off. The real question remains: is it canon or is it not? I mean, the first several seasons, particularly the first and second, connected directly to Captain America The Winter Soldier and Thor The Dark World. Nick Fury and Sif even showed up for an episode or two! But then from each season on, the world outside the television show it took place in, started getting mentioned less and less, and even though Thanos was mentioned near the end of season 5…we never saw the series link to any of the later Marvel Cinematic Universe films, especially Infinity War or Endgame. After those movies went by before the shows’s sixth and seventh seasons premiered, the show runners and producers couldn’t even answer simple questions as to when all their events exactly took place. Is it still canon, or if not…is it now it’s own thing…it’s own timeline? Because with the last 3 seasons, we aren’t given any exact dates or years, any time that passes, it is just casually mentioned with a title card or two ‘one year later’, no big deal. So, that brings us to a new question: in SEASON 7, the final season at the very end, is everything connected? Does it concretely establish itself as MCU canon? My concrete answer: even if it does or doesn’t (it kinda sorta does and doesn’t), it doesn’t really matter. After the first three seasons, the show became its own thing, and without the constructs of having to adhere to the MCU theatrical timeline, its storytelling exploded with rich exposition, imagination, and character development. When it became it’s own thing, it was absolutely riveting. And although season 7 does have a couple of nods to the MCU, ESPECIALLY the last two episodes, at the end of the day, who gives an ultimate shit? Us still loyal viewers, we wanted an ending for the CHARACTERS, and not just placating fan service to Infinity War, Endgame, or even Spider-Man Far From Home. Did we get that character ending? Abso-fucking-lutely we did.

Not only do I feel safe in saying that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. had a fantastic series finale, but I’m quite confident that it was the best season out of the seven, a truly rare accomplishment indeed. Out of 13 episodes, maybe only one lost my attention a couple of times. The other 12? Some of the best episodes of the entire series, especially one directed by series regular Elizabeth Henstridge, that pays homage to Groundhog Day to absolute perfection. Most of the series maybe had about only half a really great season, and half a so-so season. Let’s do this in order shall we? The first half of the first season is absolutely fucking abysmal. But those last 11 episodes, especially when it ties itself to Captain America The Winter Soldier…solid. Season 2 takes season one’s momentum and ups it a notch, showing how Sky (Chloe Bennett) finds her lineage and her real name (Daisy), along with her superhero identity (Quake). It lagged a bit in the middle though. Season 3 takes the Inhuman story line and steps it up yet a tiny notch further, especially since the references to the MCU become smaller and smaller and smaller. Again, it lagged a bit during the middle though. Season 4 stumbles a bit with the Ghost Rider introduction, but once it gets to Life Model Decoy’s about half way through the season, not to mention almost no other connections to the MCU, the storytelling gets very, very good. Season 5 is the last 22 episode season that was my favorite until this last season. I couldn’t believe that almost each and every episode mattered, considering I think any show that goes over 13 episodes now per season is tiresome. But season 5, dealing with the team going way into the future and facing the ‘Destroyer of Worlds,’ was an excellent, excellent storyline.

And the ending of that season? It honestly could’ve been the end, but I’m glad it wasn’t. Season 6 was just a notch below, but that is mainly because I didn’t like how they made Clark Gregg (usually Agent Coulson) play a different character that also happened to be the villain of those 13 episodes. But the show now being only 13 episodes instead of 22 made it have more of a solid foundation and didn’t become tiresome. And it was still entertaining because the rest of the characters flourish, especially one that was introduced in season 5, Deke, shines here. Season 7 ties everything up, and without giving too much away, Clark Gregg is back as Agent Coulson, everybody gets a fitting ending, and the time travel to the past story line is fun and exciting. Even though the actor that plays Fitz was mostly absent, it made up for it when he finally appeared. Oh…and they pick up a character that was on Agent Carter, and actually give him an arc and an ending story line, which was nice considering that show was (rightly) cancelled abruptly after two seasons. If feels as though season 7 was completely pre-visualized before they even starting writing dialogue or full scripts. This final season has a very nice and tight arc, that while being extremely fun, especially the first 7/8 episodes, makes sure that the final 5/6 don’t rush everything. It plants seeds in the first half of the season that steadily grow into a flower that blooms the last 4 when it’s still fun, but taken more seriously, story line wise. It is hard to talk about without revealing anything, but I can say that the story involves the characters going through several different time periods in the past, and trying not to fuck up the main timeline, especially when the evil Chronicoms (you’ll have to watch the series to get what I’m even talking about), are intent on ending S.H.I.E.L.D. and possibly all of mankind in the process.

The villains this season are good, and although I could get into who they are, it is best not to give any of the reveals away. So what I can talk about without giving much away is how I felt about the series character and acting wise, focusing on the main cast only. Chloe Bennett turns Sky from an ‘aw shucks, what is happening to me’ kind of one dimensional character, and transforms into ‘Quake,’ a bad ass heroine that rivals any of the female superheroes we have gotten in the MCU theatrical films. Clark Gregg was a side character in those films as Agent Coulson, but he and the showrunners took the several glimmers of personality we got in those films, and turned it into a full and satisfying emotional arc in these seven seasons of television. Ming-Na Wen, who played Melinda May, is yet another heroine, but without any powers, that rivals most if not all of the female superheroes in the MCU. She constantly surprised us every season with how deeper her initial one-dimensional hardened character could go. Ian De Caestecker and Elizabeth Henstridge as Fitz and Simmons were the true emotional heart of the series. Their friendship and maybe more than friendship was the one constant the entire seven seasons had. It never wavered once in its storytelling, even though Ian is mostly nowhere to be seen this final season (for a good reason it turns out). I don’t know whether he didn’t want to be in this final season as much because he got tired of being on the show, or if it was a creative decision. Either way, his arc here worked. And his arcs in the other seasons and acting were fantastic as well. Elizabeth’s really worked. She took a geeky girl scientist nerd and turned her yet into another strong and emotional bad ass heroine. And like I said before, she directs Episode Nine of this season titled, “As I Have Always Been,” that is easily my favorite episode of the series.

Henry Simmons as Mack was always the strong brute that could’ve also been just a two dimensional character, but in later seasons he got his emotional moments and brilliant one-liners enough to branch out on his own. And then finally Brett Dalton, Natalia Cordova- Buckley, and Jeff Ward, who were only in a third to almost half of the series episodes as Grant Ward, Yo-Yo Rodriguez, and Deke, all shined in whatever screen time they did have. Especially Brett after Grant Ward’s big reveal near the end of the first season and when Jeff Ward got to cut loose with Deke in season 6 and made him the comic relief. It was also nice to see that during these whole seven seasons, there was never any showrunner or writer shake up. They stayed put and got to do their vision their way, which is always commendable in the day and age of studio interference. The only thing the studio interfered with here was the uses of any character that the films maybe wanted to use down the line, which actually benefited the show, seeing it didn’t have any chains to weight it down. In summary, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. is one of those very rare shows that just got better and better as time went on. It will be known more for the second half of its life than its first, which is astonishingly unbelievable. Once the connections to the MCU went away, everybody got more creative and more time to play. And it shows. So in the end, who really cares if it is canon or not? I certainly don’t (even though in my mind I can argue and provide proof for both ways). When I just finished the series over lunch, the first thing that came to my mind wasn’t whether or not canon even mattered because of the confusing nature of where exactly this took place in the MCU. No, the first thing that came to my mind was how emotionally satisfying the arc of all the characters ended and how the storytelling really did become its own…Pandora’s Box, if you will. And it was all very…very satisfying and I loved that I got to open Pandora’s Box for seven years. Now if only they would let the two showrunners, Jed Whedon & Maurissa Tancharoen…write their own MCU script. Just imagine…

My personal rank of seasons of AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. :

Season 7
Season 5
Season 6
Season 4
Season 3
Season 2
Season 1

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: SPIDER-MAN FAR FROM HOME (minor spoiler paragraph on Mysterio)

SPIDER-MAN FAR FROM HOME is the great, fantastic, fun refreshing breather of a Phase 3 epilogue we needed after that really long emotional climax that was Endgame. We are now also 6 for 8 on pretty decent Spider-Man films, 5 of them even being great. This movie was basically a super hero road trip rom-com, and it worked every step of the way. The film does have just a couple of pacing issues at the beginning, but once you hit the mid way point (and you will definitely know when the mid way point hits), it all leads to a fantastic conclusion, one of the most memorable of all the Spider-Man films. Tom Holland is easily the best Peter Parker AND Spider-Man and I hope he keeps the role for years and years to come. I mean, he looks like one of those baby faces like Leo that won’t really show it until he’s in his 40s, am I right? By the way, the minor spoiler paragraph on Mysterio that I mentioned in the title, I will warn you so you can skip that paragraph to be completely spoiler free.

And if you scroll down and look at all my Spider-Man rankings, you might be surprised to see that Spider-Man 2 still ranks at the very top of my list, even though I just said that Tom Holland is the best Spider-Man. He very much is, but Spider-Man 2 is the best and spider-ery(?) Spider-Man film. See, until Tom Holland came along, none of the Spider-Man iterations really got ALL of Spider-Man right. Tobey Maguire I thought was a great Peter Parker, but a very mediocre Spider-Man when the mask was on. Flip that for Andrew Garfield, while he was a great Spider-Man, he wasn’t really that great of a Peter Parker. Tom Holland has both perfectly. He portray’s Peter Parker’s persona and innocence down to a science, and his quips behind the mask are laughter belly ache inducing. I knew it from the moment he showed up in Civil War that his Spider-Man was going to be one for the ages. I just hope that in his third solo outing, they don’t try a pull a Raimi 3.

Because that is what I respect the most out of these new MCU Spider-Man films. Is that they are trying to do something different. We don’t see Peter’s origin story here, MJ is not Mary Jane but an entirely new interesting character who just happens to be named Michelle Johnson. We haven’t had any repeat villains from the old films yet, we are getting brand new ones with more depth than any of Raimi or Webb villains, each having their own little arcs that make the story more well rounded. And a lot of the setting are pretty different. Even though Spider-Man is from Queens/New York, most of the first film takes place more around it than actually in it, not to mention the in the air plane finale. This film takes place is multiple other side of the world locations, hence the Far From Home title. I would like to see a third film where the plot actually stays between the sky scrapers of New York, as seeing him swinging through the buildings were part of the Sam Raimi films’ charm. (you do get to see a very small amount of skyscraper slinging though in this, just not enough for my taste).

Uh, should I even talk about story? It’s kind of hard to seeing as though I have to mention spoilers from Endgame, but you know what? Fuck you if you haven’t seen Endgame and are reading this review. You’ve had plenty of time to see it. Sorry, but in this day and age, it is either release date way or the highway. Anyway, this takes place a very small amount of time after Endgame and Tony Stark’s funeral. Everyone is dealing with the aftermath of everyone on Earth just instantly showing back up again 5 years after they were snapped (although this film has a new term for it, ‘blipped’) out of existence. Those that were part of the blip, even though it is five years later, are still the same age. The filmmakers explain adjusting to the cataclysmic re appearance quite fast, with both sorrow and humor. Just like the beginning of Homecoming, which kind of retold the events of Civil War through Spidey’s eyes/homemade video, we get kind of a recap/update with another video that is both touching and at the same time provides a few laughs.

Anyway, still dealing with losing Tony Stark, he and his classmates go on a school summer vacation through Europe, when Nick Fury hijacks it. Turns out, there are several dangerous Elemental threats to the Earth, with a mysterious new hero named…well, Mysterio (Quentin Beck, played by Jake Gyllenhaul), and they need Spidey to step up and help since a lot of the other Avengers are currently unavailable. Mysterio reveals that he and the big destructive Elementals are from a different dimension, and that there is a multi-verse now because of Hulk’s snap bringing everyone back in Endgame. Peter Parker not only has to deal with this, but he wants to tell MJ that he really likes her and wants to date her on this trip, while also grasping with the fact that the world is kind of looking up to him to possibly be the new leader (new Iron Man per say) of the Avengers.

Far From Home is light, entertaining, and filled with a lot of great humor, so if you are going into this expecting another epic drama like Infinity War or Endgame, you’ve definitely come to the wrong show. This is the dessert after having time to digest all the shit you ate during Endgame, and it’s exactly how it is supposed (and needs) to be. Tom Holland is of course the perfect Spider-Man, Jon Favereau gets the most screen time he’s ever gotten in an MCU film, and Zendaya has a lot more to do as MJ this time around, and her and Tom Holland have fantastic on screen chemistry. Samuel L. Jackson and Cobie Smulders reprise Nick Fury and Maria Hill as well, but if you think something might be off about their performances, just wait until the entire thing is finished before you start going off on how they don’t seem like their characters. Now, coming up really quick is the quick spoiler paragraph on Mysterio, because I want to talk about Jake Gyllenhaul’s excellent performance.:

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It seems kind of odd to me that the movie relies on most of its audience not knowing who Mysterio is in the Spider-Man world. Everyone that even half way decently knows Spider-Man and his comic book world should know that Mysterio is one of Spider-Man’s greatest foes. So the marketing to me, trying to portray him as a hero, didn’t elicit too much excitement, because I knew what was probably going on months before release day. So reveal of him being the main bad guy in the film is meant to be a shocking and huge revelation, but since I knew it was coming, you would think the reveal would invoke some boredom out of me, right? Far from it. And it is because of Jake Gyllenhaul’s performance. Before the reveal that not everything is as it seems, his performance was teetering on “phoning it in” for me, but once everything comes to light, it turns out that decision was more of a blessing in disguise. One it is revealed that Mysterio is the main villain, Jake Gyllenhaul goes full Jake Gyllenhaul, and delivers one of the best villain performances in the MCU outside of Thanos, Killmonger, Loki, and Vulture. He absolutely crushed it.

******************end spoiler paragraph*****************************************

Wow, this review has gone on long enough, so let me wrap it up. Aside from a couple of 1st act pacing issues, and the action not being all that memorable (along with the musical score) except for the climax, Far From Home is another home run for not just the MCU, but the Spider-Man films in general. And for most of the action scenes not being that memorable, I don’t blame director Jon Watts, because he proved with the first film he knows how to develop and stage an action scene, might’ve just been script or location issues. But all of that is forgiven because the rest of the film is excellent and hugely entertaining. I definitely laughed every other minute, it was a very funny film. Oh and uh….STAY THRU ALL OF THE CREDITS. Both of Far From Home’s after credits scenes are extremely important, probably the most important after credit scenes we have gotten from the MCU in quite a long time. The mid credit scene, good God I wish I could just spoil and talk about it. But for long time Spider-Man fans, the mid credit scenes will make prematurely shoot a bunch of webs out of your web shooter. It is THAT GREAT.

My Ranking of all the Spider-Man films (you will disagree, to each his own):

Spider-Man 2
Spider-Man Homecoming
Spider-Man Into The Spider-Verse
Spider-Man Far From Home
Spider-Man
Amazing Spider-Man
Spider-Man 3
Amazing Spider-Man 2

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: AVENGERS: ENDGAME (infinity% NO SPOILERS)

It’s here! FINALLY! No, I’m not talking about AVENGERS: ENDGAME but rather my review for it. You’ve been wanting to read this, I can just feel it (eyeroll)…even though I really can’t tell you shit about it. I promised infinity% no spoilers and that’s exactly what you are going to get. So how am I going to get around this intro? Hmmm…well, I can say it’s the best film of 2019 so far, and while I doubt it will reign at the top the whole year it is likely to stay in my top ten by Jan 2020. I can also tell you that it is a very satisfying finale. Never has anything every been done before that has been this grand. And even with Marvel already planning another decade of films, I doubt this is going to happen again. Eleven years of storytelling all culminating into one big three hour blockbuster (5 and a half if you count Infinity War). And the fact that it stuck the landing is just all the more commendable.

The movie is epic. All the action scenes are great. The special effects are top notch and on point. The writing is very, very clever. All the emotional scenes are…well emotional, and if you don’t have at least a lump in your throat several times throughout and at the end, then maybe these films really weren’t for you in the first place. This film makes Justice League look like The Room. Not the Brie Larson one. The Tommy Wiseau one. How this film didn’t feel like three hours is absolutely astonishing. The character arcs are mostly 100% fulfilling. The whole thing makes you wonder how this thing is going to continue (although it gives you subtle hints). The film takes its time and doesn’t feel rushed. The pacing is near perfect. How a superhero story can be on such a giant scale such as this and everything be near perfect on a narrative and emotional scale is unbelievable.

That’s not to say the film doesn’t have its problems. If you want to talk about it in person or in a private message I do have a couple of issues I could go into with explicit detail. I won’t reveal anything specific on here. But they are minor, and a couple might be explained better in future movies, especially Spider-Man: Far From Home in July. I can tell you without revealing anything at all is that I had a problem with some of the humor. Not Last Jedi level cringe worthy, but there were a couple of spots where I felt the movie held on for a punchline or a shot too long just to make sure the audience laughs because the screenplay told them to. One problem I had with the film I definitely could not be vocal about on social media or I’d get my fucking ass handed to me. If you’ve seen the movie, you know the scene I’m talking about.

And all the acting from everyone from their respective characters is incredible. Everyone did a good job. And if I could either start a petition now for Robert Downey Jr. to get a best supporting actor nod for his performance as Tony Stark here and it would make a difference, I would do it in a heartbeat. Him, Karen Gillan, and Chris Evans completely steal the show here. And of course Josh Brolin is great as Thanos once again, and solidifies his place as one of the best villains in MCU history, although his story was more in Infinity War than it was here. This is OUR heroes story. We cheer for them, we’ve followed them for more than a decade, so we need it to focus on them. And boy does it deliver in spades. The direction is good, the editing is great, the movie making on a technical sense I had absolutely no problems with. The Russo Brothers did a fantastic job, and I know they said they are taking a break from the MCU but I’d welcome them back anytime if they decided to change their minds.

Anyway, that’s it. That’s my review. That’s all I can say. I can’t say whether they wrap up storylines and/or character exits and I can’t say what I thought of them if they happen to have happened. That’s for you to go out and see for yourself, because you already know whether or not you are going to eventually see this film. If you’ve never seen a Marvel movie and all this hype peaks your interest, I definitely recommend for you to go and start from the beginning, Iron Man, and make your way with release date order, then go see Endgame. It is definitely worth it (although I suggest to take your time). It is a fantastic journey and I can’t believe I can say I was alive to witness every single one of them in the theater. Thinking about how lucky I am to have seen all this and how lucky you all are as well makes me have a little lump in my throat right now. As Tony Stark says in the trailer, “Part of the journey is the end.” An incredible journey this end was and I hope it is for all of you as well.

Zach’s Zany Ranking Of All The Marvel Cinematic Universe Films To Date

My list might be controversial in some areas, but fuck it, everyone else is making a list why shouldn’t I? If you don’t like my list, I really don’t care, LOL, make your own!

22. Thor: The Dark World

I think most of us could agree on this one being here right?

22. The Incredible Hulk

A slog to get through, the end is decent though. And a great after credits cameo at the time.

20. Iron Man 2

Another slog to get through, only the part with Black Widow at the end is truly something special. Feels like a gateway film just to get to The Avengers.

19. Iron Man 3

Feels like Shane Black misfired with the whole Ben Kingsley character deception. Has some cool moments but again, this is kind of a slog to get through. Being the first post Avengers story didn’t help.

18. Captain Marvel

I swear I’m not a woman hater, the entire fault on this is the script and the direction. Brie Larson made the best of what she had, but this movie should’ve been something special and wasn’t.

17. Doctor Strange

Yeah, yeah, Benedict what’s his face is great and the visuals are spectacular but the story is too straight forward, ho-hum, and Rachel McAdams was truly wasted here as an actress. I liked the funny ending though. Huge villain problem in this.

16. Ant-Man and The Wasp

Was it me or did it feel like Paul Rudd was pushed to the side to make way for an all Evangeline Lilly movie? I mean it’s fine. Paul Rudd is still great and Lilly is great too and their chemistry is great. But the story is BLAH. It had one of the cooler after credits, but that isn’t a movie.

15. Avengers: Age of Ultron

Basically the same movie as the first but with robots instead of aliens and in a different country. I do think though that this is the point where Marvel Studios knew where they were headed, hence that really dumb Thor cave scene explaining the Infinity Stones. A couple of good action beats, but it felt like studio tinkering with Joss Whedon’s vision (hehe, pun). Also, Ultron who now?

14. Ant-Man

I really would’ve loved to see Edgar Wright’s version of this film. But I think he wanted something really wacky and out of the norm, and Marvel Studios wasn’t buying it. Instead we get a half way decent heist film with some good Paul Rudd moments. Who doesn’t love Paul Rudd?

13. Thor

If you watch Thor and Thor The Dark World back to back, it is just amazing how the first Thor still holds up pretty well. Chris Hemsworth’s performance, stunning visuals. This is when Marvel was finally getting a little weird. Two Words: Tom Hiddleston. The ending left a lot to be desired though.

12. Black Panther

I think we are about a little halfway through the list and yes, this film is definitely overrated. Should not have been nominated for best picture, but is still pretty decent. Good performances by all, especially Michael B. Jordan, giving us one of the best villains ever in Erik Killmonger. If only the ending didn’t have really shitty CGI.

11. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

I know this film has a lot of detractors, especially for the films true villain not being revealed until the climax, but I had a lot of fun with this film. It has a bunch of cool moments, and a killer soundtrack to boot. And the gang still felt like the gang. Can’t wait to see what James Gunn has for Vol. 3

10. Thor Ragnorak

For some reason most of my family hates this film. Well, they are in the minority. I loved this. Easily the best Thor film. I loved the drastic change, and it felt like Chris Hemsworth finally embraced the wackiness of his character. Director Taika Waititi did an amazing job and gave us more of the weird Jeff Goldblum we know and love. Loved Tessa Thompson as Valkyrie, only thing the film needed more was a little more Cate Blanchett.

9. Captain America: The First Avenger

Can’t believe we have gotten this high on the list and finally got to a Captain America film. They are that DAMN GOOD. This one is a nice throwback to adventure movie films. This made Chris Evans a star, and it reminded me a lot of The Rocketeer. All good things.

8. Guardians of the Galaxy

Yep, the first one is high on here. No doubt about it. Marvel going full wacky, and it works. The group dynamic is perfect, and the visuals and story left us wanting more. Wish there was a better villain though.

7. Avengers: Endgame

While the film certainly brought an epic as fuck conclusion and managed to not undo everything so easily (I was surprised how much thought and care went into not just reversing the snap right when it happened), it is definitely not the best Marvel film to date. Still pretty solid though, although it suffers from all the time travel rules and shit you have to constantly think about and double back on your own assumptions. Two great arcs come to a very wonderful and emotional close, one (you probably know which one) I felt was too rushed and didn’t explain a whole lot and makes me not look forward to the prequel film that is rumored to be announced soon.

6. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Some of you have this as the best MCU film. While I disagree for a number of reasons, I still rank it high as fuck. It’s has that whole great Hydra reveal, and the action was top notch and on point (the directors of this went on to Infinity War and Civil War). I just maybe wish there was more to Winter Soldier’s story. Well there is, but it is in another movie…

5. Captain America: Civil War

This one! That story I wanted told was in this one! A two-three punch on the list. Although this feels more like Avengers 2.5 than anything, I loved almost everything about this film, yes even the “you killed my mommy thing at the end.” I wish Baron Zemo was in it more as he basically divided the Avengers until possibly Endgame. The whole airport scene and intro to Black Panther and Spider-Man were just fucking great.

4. Avengers: Infinity War

You thought I had this at #1 didn’t you? Shame on you. Infinity War is great, and there will never probably be a greater downer ending in the MCU after Thanos’s snap. All the stories of all the characters we’ve come to know culminates in this and their even distribution weight between their stories is near perfect. The one thing that bothers me is the Starlord decision writing. I don’t think that character would’ve done that, but that’s just me

3. Iron Man

The original. The first MCU film. Still holds up incredibly well 11 years later because of Robert Downey Jr’s very special and incredible performance. Also reminded me of the great Rocketeer with all the suit experimentation before getting it perfect the way he wanted it. This is one of the best if not perfect origin stories of all time.

2. Spider-Man: Homecoming

Maybe the best Spider-Man film yet? Possibly a toss up between this and Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2? The debate will range on, but one thing is for sure. This gets everything about Spider-Man completely right. Tom Holland is a superstar, and you are not. Michael Keaton also made a great villain, and the little twist reveal at the end I did not see coming at all. Kudos, Marvel.

The Avengers

Well, to me, the best MCU film is the first one where all the introduced heroes so far teamed up. You got a great bad guy with Loki coming to the forefront to lead a giant Chitauri army against New York. Perfectly directed by Joss Whedon, this film has the most replay value. Everything about it is as perfect as a movie could get. That is until Justice League came out…..HAHA, just kidding, fuck that piece of shit movie, this will remain a superhero classic for decades to come. I’m glad I was along (and still am) for the ride. Seeing this on an IMAX screen was just something else entirely.

WHERE WILL ENDGAME END UP? FIND OUT FRIDAY 4/26!!!

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: CAPTAIN MARVEL (no spoilers)

DISCLAIMER: (because I have to do this with the butthurters nowadays with a film like this) Any criticisms I give to the following film CAPTAIN MARVEL in my review, are in no way, shape, or form, have to do with the fact in that this is the MCU’s first female superhero led film. In fact, I think we should get more female driven superhero films, as long as they are made correctly. I am not a misogynist, I am married and have a loving and awesome wife, and ANY CRITICISMS WHATSOEVER I HAVE WITH THIS FILM HAVE TO DO WITH A STORYTELLING OR SCRIPT LEVEL AND DOES NOT HAVE TO DO WITH BRIE LARSON OR ANY FEMALE LED SUPERHERO FILM. Jesus Christ, it’s sad that I have to do that eh? Let’s get down to brass taxes and first go with my summary of Captain Marvel as a whole: I quite enjoyed it, however, in the whole spectrum of all 21 MCU films we have gotten to date, it is not one of the higher tier ones, like the first Iron Man, the first Avengers, the first Guardians, or Infinity War, yet it is not one of the lower tier ones like Thor: The Dark World, Iron Man 2, Iron Man 3, or The Incredible Hulk. It is somewhere in the middle, resting its good not great addition to the universe head along with its buddies such as Black Panther, Ant-Man, Guardians 2, or Doctor Strange.

I will star this off by saying that contrary to reports that Brie Larson is wooden in the Captain Marvel role (I think some people are just trolling and saying it even when they haven’t seen it yet), I assure you, she is not. She is very likable in this and in fact I think she knew that the script itself had some problems (there are 3 screenwriters, and 5 people get a story by credit) and she added her own cute little quirks and mannerisms to the role. I think with the right script and a more focused characterization Brie Larson could be a masterful superhero. But she is quite good with what she was given. In fact, everyone is good. Jude Law is good. Samuel L. Jackson is the man. Ben Mendelsohn nearly steals the movie. The very lackluster trailers and tv spots don’t showcase the good film that Disney/Marvel have on their hands here. In fact, if you look at all the other trailers, they don’t really sell their films anymore. They might need to hire better people that can cut a decent marketing campaign.

I was never once bored and looked at my cell phone clock with this movie, I was entertained throughout the whole thing. But the movie does have several issues and it all boils down to one notion, something that I knew was coming a long time ago, but is finally starting to seek through the cracks: Marvel’s Origin Story formula is starting to shake and if they aren’t careful, will soon crumble and fall like half of the DCEU’s slate. The entire movie is 200% predictable. It’s “twists” are 200% predictable (it does one “oh it was really this/him/her the whole time gimmick we’ve seen done in 100,000 movies before it). You can probably even fucking guess what the mid and end credits scenes are, that’s how predictable this thing is. Here’s a true, in my opinion, fact: Captain Marvel should’ve been introduced in Phase 1 or 2 of the MCU, should’ve already had one sequel by now with that story showing what happened with what she does at the end of this movie, and it wouldn’t have felt like this was shoe horned in right before Avengers: Endgame.

Because it is. Because you can feel it. Because everything feels rushed. Obviously you’ve seen from the trailers that Brie Larson has amnesia and is starting to remember things of where she may have had a life on Earth before becoming a Kree. The film feels too fast paced that, when she eventually remembers some stuff and comes face to face with some long lost family and friends, I didn’t feel anything. Like the confrontations that she is thrust into should’ve had more power, brevity, and levity. And it didn’t. It’s just like, “oh hi, don’t know you much, I know that I used to and we used to be two peas in a pod, well, I’m back, nice to meet ya.” Films need to have a giant emotional impact. If the film had focused on her amnesia stuff maybe just a few minutes longer, like 10 to 15, those scenes would’ve felt earned, not forced. The main issue is that there is just wayyy too much story stuffed into a medium box of 2 hrs, just in service to quickly get an origin story out of the way so she can be a bad ass motherfucker in Avengers: Endgame.

The movies got the Kree, old characters you saw in Guardians 1, a strange cat named Goose, amnesia problems, long gestating wars, witty banter, reunions, betrayals, double crosses, triple crosses, just too much that the script is a little shaky on its foundation and bounced off the wall too much at times. And near the end, kind of like the problem Black Panther had, its CGI is a little troublesome. And while the action is fun, but not that memorable. Oh, and one more AND to the million I have said already, the movie has still has got the Marvel villain problem (you’ll see). While the movie was wayyyy too late in the making, its just fortunate that it wasn’t a disaster, is watchable, and is enjoyable. The real star of the movie is the de-ageing effects on one Samuel L. Jackson. Fucking seemless, I couldn’t believe it, he actually looks like he just stepped out of his role in the 90s film The Negotiator (from which they based his de-ageing on) and hasn’t skipped a beat.

So anyway, in summation, Captain Marvel is a solid, good, yet not great addition to the MCU. I did enjoy myself sitting in the theater experiencing it. And none of it has to do with the fact that it is a female driven superhero film. All the problems are in the script, the story, and two directors who have directed a handful of episodes of Billions and The Affair, and two indie features films (Half Nelson and It’s Kind of A Funny Story) that I thought were way out of their element here. If we could get a solid script and better directors, and a focused pace, we could get a sequel that is truly special. A true sequel, not just Avengers: Endgame. Oh, btw, if the opening Marvel logo/credits don’t make you tear up and want to applaud, you aren’t human.