We all need to first off admit that Warner Bros. is doing too much of a rush job to try and have DC “catch” up to Marvel. I mean, we’ve only had four films, and one of those films featured just two small cameos by two of the JUSTICE LEAGUE members so really we’ve only had 3. When The Avenger’s came out, every character was introduced and given some kind of arc exposition in a previous film. Here, three of the 5 just had very small cameos in previous adventures, and that is it. Literally no time to fully develop them. So if you go into Justice League thinking it is going to be the end all be all of superhero team ups, you are sorely mistaken. But if you go in there and realize that Warner Bros. is playing catch up, accept that fact, turn off your brain for two hours, and just try to have a fun time, like I did, then you’ll come out of Justice League thinking that it was pretty good, not great, but pretty good, and that the critics are being once again too harsh on a DC film. (I am an avid fan of the Batman V Superman Ultimate Edition cut so take that for what you will with my review here.)

If you are expecting a film better than the first Avengers, you are out of your God forsaken mind, but I did enjoy this more than the really average Age of Ultron. And Justice League has plenty of problems. For one, if you are used to the dark ass tone of Man of Steel, BVS, and Suicide Squad, you are going to have a strong wake up call here. I think what is throwing critics off mostly is the tone of this film. Almost all the darkness of the previous films are gone, and this one is even lighter and more campy than Wonder Woman. (I think Wonder Woman is the be all end all of DCEU films thus far, and think it created the perfect tone all other DC films should use as a blueprint). It’s a very jarring change that if you don’t know that it’s coming, it could throw you for a loop. And it’s all because Zack Snyder is trying to cater to not just the fans that are complaining about too dark of a tone for our DC characters, but also to the studio trying its best to force a artists hands to cater to the masses.

I honestly think that Snyder wanted to make a very different film here than the one presented. And Joss Whedon was brought in to polish things off a bit (also the sad tragedy of Snyder’s daughter killing herself and Snyder’s heart not being really into the movie anymore), but I think with the release date looming and Henry Cavill’s mustache curflaffle (you could definitely tell the parts where Cavill’s mustache for Mission Impossible 6 was CGI’d out, to the point where I almost said out loud, “hey, this is a Joss Whedon directed scene!”), that he couldn’t really do all that much to fix it. If Warner Bros. has told the two men, okay, you each get the cast for 6 months, and you get 6 months to write a script before that, and we won’t interfere with you at all, you would have two completely different, and maybe even better films than this.

Shit, I’m dragging this down aren’t I? And I actually liked the film. I’m just trying to explain the tone problem. It’s not two different tone’s like some of the critics are saying. It’s just a conflicting tone to previous films and studio interference. Would I have liked to see a darker Justice League film a la BVS? I know I’ll get a lot of flack for this but, yes, I really would.

And the tone isn’t even that much of a problem, because I knew it was going to be lighter going in. I’m just giving my thesis on why the Rotten Tomato score is so low.  There are MUCH bigger problems in this film. The CGI is fucking terrible at times, especially when it comes to Superman, his resurrection, and the final last battle. It looked and felt like Star Wars Episode II and III, with the actors just in front of a giant big screen inside a studio with few props. The villain sucks hard as well, and now DC officially has a villain problem a la Marvel. Steppenwolf is a CGI creation that has literally no other purpose than to look and sound menacing while trying to control the world. Completely one dimensional, not even scary, and I didn’t even think he was that much of a threat. He was basically a bigger version of the main bad guy in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1. The motherbox plot was kind of a let down as well. Why do these villains always need artifacts to destroy shit?

Also, let me get to critics complaints that Ben Affleck doesn’t want to be there anymore and looks bored the entire movie. I don’t think that is necessarily true. I think Affleck signed on to play Batman as a dark, brooding character that has seen his fare shit over 20 years and lost his faith in humanity. He gave his performance his all in BVS, and he was honestly the best part about the film. He even looked like he liked being in his very small role in Suicide Squad. Then the reviews for BVS came in. The whole sad Affleck video happened. He looked crushed. And then comes Justice League, where Affleck is told he needs to loosen up his performance and be lighter. In Justice League Affleck shows not a disinterest of a performance, but a confused one. He knew what to do in BVS but now the director and studio are telling him different, and he doesn’t know really what to do, and it isn’t what he signed up for. You can tell this when he makes one liners in Justice League. Affleck doesn’t pull off these one liners because he doesn’t believe that the character should be saying shit like that, and he’s right. Batman shouldn’t. So in my humble opinion, this is the last time we probably see Affleck as the Dark Knight. Not because of disinterest, but because of confusion.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, let me get to the good stuff and why I enjoyed the movie. Wonder Woman and The Flash are awesome and steal every scene they are in. Gal Gadot was born to play Wonder Woman and she is really the best part of this movie, and I can’t wait for Wonder Woman 2. Ezra Miller was nice and refreshing as The Flash, with awesome zany one liners, a great Stephen King reference, and a whole lot of positive energy brought into the project. I can’t wait to see the Flashpoint film. Jason Mamoa is also a fresh take on Aquaman that I enjoyed and am interested in the solo film he has coming up. People are casting Ray Fisher as the odd man out in this, but I am one to disagree. Even though I didn’t like Cyborg’s CGI, I liked Ray Fisher’s portrayal, and I believe we would be more invested with his character if he would just get his own solo film. The whole team had great chemistry together, and that is main reason why the movie doesn’t falter and is actually enjoyable. Hell, they even course correct Superman in this. Instead of the brewing depressing being he was in BVS, he is more the Superman in the comics in this, looking for justice, not vengeance, and actually thinking about civilians. I also did like that his resurrection didn’t involve the black suit or long hair, that would’ve been too damn obvious and too many throwbacks to the comics for no apparent reason.

The Batman and Wonder Woman scenes at the beginning of the film were fantastic. I did like the midway through the film battle that was without Superman in that factory like place. The action is very entertaining, even though we don’t really get a masterpiece of a scene like we did with Batman and the warehouse in BVS. We get some nods to some other heroes I thought were pretty cool as well (look for them in the flashback first apocalyptic battle with Steppenwolf). And also, be sure to stay for two post credit scenes. One is funny and fun, and the other was really really freaking cool. It introduces a brand new character. Also, it almost course corrects an annoying as fuck character in one of the previous DCEU movies. Maybe, we’ll have to see more of the tweaked performance.

So I liked Justice League for what it was. If this is just a stepping stone to a greater Justice League 2, then I am glad this movie exists. I can see myself watching it several more times, it is really enjoyable, even with its flaws and narrative plot. But I think it is time to let Zack Snyder go. Bring in some fresh faces and try and let Warner Bros not be so fucking involved. I would love Joss Whedon to do is own, awesome, artistic, uninterrupted Justice League 2. I have a feeling that would be epic. (Age of Ultron sucked I believe because of studio hands as well). I know he has a Batgirl movie, which I’m looking forward to, coming up but, give him the keys to the League. So unlike the critics, which seem to point to this being a Frankenstein monster collaboration of a movie, I would more describe it as Captain America with amnesia, obeying the Socovia Act in Civil War instead of disobeying it. He might not be all quite there in his head, but he still gets the job done.

Rank of DCEU Movies:

1. Wonder Woman
2. Man of Steel
3. Justice League
4. Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Ultimate Cut
5. Suicide Squad

Do you think we could stop with the movies depicting/describing/detailing events around and during the assassination of JFK? There are only so many ways and so many points of view to tell the tale. Unless you have something unique to give to the situation, like Stephen King’s 11/22/1963 novel, enough already. In the past decade I’ve seen JFK assassinated 10 times, all with different camera angles, and different points of view. It’s very tiring and Hollywood has managed to make a national tragedy boring. You are probably asking, “Zach, your review says this is supposed to be on the film LBJ.” It is, trust me. The film depicts the events a little bit before, during, and after the JFK assassination about the president that followed him, what he did both before, during and after. But with All The Way, which really just depicts the events after the JFK assassination, which has the last 25 minutes of this film covered, did we really need another movie on LBJ?

No we didn’t. I don’t know where we are getting these scripts from. It’s like we are getting them from college students. The professor says, “write a movie during or around a significant period of time and make it as factual as possible.” The students go, “well, 9/11 is too soon ((even though it also has been done to death already and I doubt we’ve seen the last of those films)), so what can I do, that requires minimal effort, where I don’t have to research all that much into what happened? Oh I know! I’ll do a story surrounding JFK’s assassination, but in the point of view of LBJ, or RFK, or Natalie Portman.”

I can’t tell you how sick of these movies I am. And this movie I know is about much more than that, it’s about LBJ’s point of view, and mostly on his career before and after, even though it takes almost the whole movie flashes back to that fateful day in Dallas to see his reaction when JFK gets terrible green screen background and CGI’d shot in the head treatment. I’m sad to say I’ve become numb to seeing a president being shot in the head. It’s terrible.

The movie is directed by Rob Reiner, who hasn’t had a good film since the kid movie Flipped, and before that, The American President. He has made some huge clunkers in his career, including North, and while what I described above isn’t so much a clunker as I make it out to be, any director could’ve made this movie. It has none of Reiner’s trademark direction/shots/etc. whatsoever, it is a complete point and shoot affair. I’m guessing since his career is so downhill this was the only thing he was offered.

The only saving grace of this film is none other than Woody Harrelson. And the acting in general. While the make up on Woody looks awful (should’ve hired someone else) he is terrific as LBJ. Even though this movie conflicts with some of LBJ’s character with the movie All The Way with Bryan Cranston, Woody does a remarkable job as the forced President to be, trying to make his own legacy. Jeffrey Donovan and Michael Sahl-David do really good work here too as JFK and RFK, and Jennifer Jason Leigh does good with the few scenes she has as Lady Bird. But Richard Jenkins is pretty powerful here too, playing a racist senator at odds with what LBJ is doing.

But yeah, if you’ve seen the movie All the Way with Bryan Cranston, there really is nothing new here, and watch that one, it is a better film. The only reason why you should watch this at all is if you like Woody Harrelson and are a Woody Harrelson performance completest. And I guess maybe if in some insane world you are a Rob Reiner completest as well. This movie is hopefully a nail in the coffin for movies surrounding the JFK assassination, but as with most things, I’m probably wrong.

Sometimes, old little mystery book “who-dun-it” novels of escapisms should remain exactly that. As novels. I have not cared for the two (one movie, one television movie) iterations of MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS before this one, and guess what? I didn’t care for this one either. But be warned. I have read the novel. Love the novel. Love Agatha Christie. Love both this and And Then There Were None. There is something delightful about reading a murder investigation in a book that doesn’t translate so well on screen. You get inside the characters/investigators head and are holding their hands into that great journey. In a movie, they are just speaking and telling you what is going on. Not as engaging. I know inner dialogue in films is usually considered taboo now but I think something like that could’ve made this movie a little better. I don’t know. Except for the last 20 minutes of the film, I didn’t care for this iteration of the classic novel, and will probably not be taking changes on it (or if they do the God awful idea of turning And Then There Were None into a remake) in the future.

The last 20 minutes, where you know all loose ends are tied up and the killer is revealed, is spectacular. Especially the musical score. The acting, direction, cinematography, all incredible. The perfect combination of showing and telling that any iteration of the novel has done. Why couldn’t the other hour and a half been like that as well? The other hour and a half is just two people sitting (with one tiny action beat) talking and telling the audience who these people are and what they have done. I think the movie could’ve benefited with more flashbacks instead of just staring at Kenneth Branagh mustache moving. I’ve said in reviews before, it is all about showing, not just telling the audience, and if you can get that perfect match made in heaven between the two, you’ve mastered the technique. And while the last 20 minutes are beautiful, the rest completely drags and is quite boring, a good lesson in what just telling does to a motion picture.

The story, without giving anything away, is that one passenger on a train is brutally stabbed 12 times during the night. The train is then caught from getting into a tunnel by an avalanche, and a quick witted and OCD investigator, Hercule Poirot, has to solve who did it, and hopefully before they are rescued and the train hits the next station. That’s all I’ll give away because the ending is quite unique and endearing if you haven’t read the novel. At least the movie keeps all the cards in the same deck. It’s just that the deck was scattered into a 52 pick up game, and was just laid to waste on the floor until someone started to pick the cards up at the end of the movie.

The marketing for this movie is also a bit misleading even though I’ve read the novel and know that it was just the quick cutting techniques of a trailer maker. Be warned, this is not an action movie, there is a tiny action beat near the middle of the film, but that is it, it is mostly investigation. And while the novel makes the investigation fun, endearing, and makes you think critically, here, it is just someone talking to you on the Discovery channel, but without pictures and films of moving animals to back it up. The acting is great, the focus of it being on Kenneth Branagh, Michelle Phiffer, and Daisy Ridley. Ridley again shows that after Star Wars, she is going to be a force to be reckoned with…in better movies that this. It’s Branagh and Phiffer that steal the show, and Branagh is the best Poirot I’ve seen thus far, I just wish it was in a better film.

So, being a fan of the novel, I didn’t like the movie. If you haven’t read it though? I don’t know how you’ll feel. I do suggest that if you have no idea what happens you pick up a book and entertain your mind rather than this be the first iteration of the story that you actually see. Would it hurt you to pick up a book? In this culture? Probably. But I tell you it is worth it. The novel is a masterpiece of mystery fiction. This movie is not even close. In fact, it never moves at all, the engine is running, but it never leaves the station.

LAST FLAG FLYING is a pretty good film that drags in a couple of spots and goes on a little too long, preventing it from being a great film. The premise is good, and I also liked the fact that the film wasn’t anti-war or pro-war but about honor, doing what you feel is right, and how to cope. Cranston, Carrell, and Fishbourne are still three some of the best actors working today, and they shine in this too, keeping the film watchable even in the parts that drag. And just like Thank You For Your Service, it comes with a message that we really do need to start treating our troops better, maybe even a little more subtle than Service, but still with an emotional impact.

If you haven’t seen any trailers, the film is about three Vietnam vets in 2003 who haven’t seen each other in a long time and one of which (Carrell) just lost a son in Afganistan, and he asked the other two to accompany him to the funeral. The film plays like a somber, but with some humor, road trip film, as the three reminisce about the past, present, future, and the lies and mistakes in between. The conversations in this movie feel a little bit more real than normal. There is no giant speech or confrontation at the end where one gets mad at the other and the other has to make it up to him or apologize. There are some heated arguments, but quick and peaceful resolutions. It felt a little more real than most films dealing with that subject matter and I appreciate the way Director Richard Linklater didn’t try to Hollywood ham it up.

Steve Carrell’s sad yet poignant performance is being treated as an Academy Award contender, and while it is good, I happen to disagree on the contender part (if you want his best performance that got the nomination it deserved see: Foxcatcher). His role is a little more down key than usual, and he doesn’t have that many lines as well, and to me it doesn’t take a lot of effort to sit there and look sad. The moments he speaks are the better parts, and I wish there were more of those. It is Cranston and Fishbourne that steal every scene they are in. Cranston’s character is a wise cracking vet that almost has no filter and Fishbourne is a priest trying to forget his former dark life. When these two have scenes together, and there are many, they both steal the show. Especially when Cranston’s character gets cell phones for all of them for the first time.

The movie is a little over two hours, and I think that if the movie was trimmed by about 15 minutes, it could’ve been much tighter. Some parts seemed really unnecessary and made the film drag at little intervals, although still completely watchable. I appreciated Richard Linklater’s direction here too as he always gets good performances from his actors. In this case, if the performances weren’t there, this film wouldn’t have worked at all. Even though it does drag, the movie certainly sticks the landing very well, and I completely recommend this film to any veterans or active military out there. There is something in it for everyone, even though it is Rated R (just for language to be sure).

So I do recommend Last Flag Flying, even though there is a tighter film that doesn’t drag at all somewhere in there. If I had to describe it, it is a more depressing Plains, Trains, and Automobiles with a good message, but still retaining some of the humor to get it out of it completely being bleak. Good job to all those involved with this film.

THOR: RAGNAROK is easily the best Thor film out of the three, no question. Let’s get my rank of them out of the way: 3, 1, 2. Let’s also call out the elephant in the room: Thor The Dark World Sucks, in fact, I can’t decide whether that or Iron Man 2 is the worst Marvel MCU film. But that doesn’t mean that Thor Ragnorak even ranks close to that low. It’s wonderful. Wonderfully fun, and is in the top tier of Marvel movies such as the first Avengers, the first Iron Man, Winter Soldier, Civil War, Spider-Man Homecoming, and Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s the funniest MCU film since Guardians of the Galaxy. It is just an ingenious soft reboot of a character that even Chris Hemsworth admitted was starting to get scale. In this film, Hemsworth finally gets to release his inner charm and comedian, and it works wonders.

Here’s the thing we all know about MCU movies, they usually all fall under a consistent formula, I mean, why stop what is working? And they still have a minor villain problem. The villains this year, including Michael Keaton, the secret villain in Guardians 2, and Cate Blanchett are a step in the right direction. Since we have those two minor faults with MCU movies, it is the journey and execution that MUST matter. With Thor: Ragnorak, the journey is so incredible that you forget the formula and the fact that Cate Blanchett (has she aged in the past 15 years? I don’t think so, she still looks incredible) should’ve been in the movie much more than she actually is. Everybody in this movie looked like they had a lot of fun, and that probably had to do with the director.

You don’t know him, or if you are a film geek like me, you might actually know him quite a bit, with this, he is going to be thrust in to the big leagues. Taika Waititi, he has done movies such as The Hunt For The Wilderpeople and What We Do In The Shadows, brings his unique weirdness, quirkiness, and charm to Thor, and boy did it need it. The Thor movies were taking themselves too seriously. The first movie was colorful if really stale in terms of plot. The second movie was dark and super stale, but with this third film, everything is bright, energetic, a giant needle filled with adrenaline kicked up to the max. The jokes, action, story beats, are a mile a minute, and it doesn’t even stop until the end credits roll. The movie basically takes Thor versus his sister Hela who is trying to take over Asgard and then starting to rule everything in the universe that she doesn’t. Pretty simple.

But then we add multiple worlds, some great A-lister cameos (including some that aren’t just other Avengers), Jeff Goldblum going ultimate Jeff Goldblum, a cool trash world, some excellent action, great soundtrack and really great special effects. Chris Hemsworth has completely, I guess you can say retooled Thor, where he isn’t all serious and brooding the whole time, he has some, pun intended, major spark, and charismatically comes into the forefront of Marvel superheroes. Hulk is awesome here too. Tessa Thompson steals every scene she is in as Valkyrie, Tom Hiddleston does his thing to melt women’s hearts everywhere, and Jeff Goldblum was basically told by the director to just be himself. If you love Jeff Goldblum going bull Jeff Goldblum, look no further. I think he was having the most fun with this film. Anthony Hopkins is the only person in this that screams paycheck. And Cate Blanchett is a great villain in this, unfortunately a little halfway into the films she disappears for a little too long. Would’ve liked to see more of her, because she was menacing in this. Karl Urban is almost unrecognizable and Idris Elba, while not in this much, makes his presence known.

If there is one thing I didn’t like is that the movie does kill off several minor characters we have seen before like it is no thing, and I didn’t really appreciate that much. Granted those characters were not too much in the other MCU movies, but  it’s like the writer of this film was just trying to find a way to never have to worry about them again. You’ll know it when you see it. Just a little disheartening.

Anyway, you know you are going to see it. Especially if you are a Marvel MCU completist. If you are on the fence…I can see why. You didn’t care for the first two. This one will completely change your mind, I promise you. Everything about it is great, and so much fun that this is one of the Marvel films you could watch over and over again without ever getting tired of it. Thor: Ragnarok rocks. ‘Nuff said.

I love STRANGER THINGS. I love the fact that I binged watch all 8 episodes of the first season the day it came out, and discovered it before it got really big. I could explain how I love it a million different ways, but the plain and simple truth is that this series is magic. Magical. Magically perfect. Magically beautiful. Magically acted. It just gives off that aroma that it is something special when you are watching it, because you are completely engrossed is what is happening, and when the episode ends, you just want more. You could watch it for hours, even if it overstays its welcome (which thankfully it doesn’t). And you think I’m just talking about Season 1. Oh no no my friends, I’m talking about all the episodes released thus far. I think Season 2 is on par and in some ways I like it even more than season one, and it made me fall in love with the entire series even more than I already am.

Why? Because it doesn’t have that sophomore slump that we normally associate with television series. Don’t know exactly what a sophomore slump is? Try watching Heroes Season 2, Mr. Robot Season 2, Lost Season 2, The Walking Dead Season 2, etc, etc, etc and you’ll get what I am saying. Not only does Stranger Things Season 2 up the ante, it does so in a way that fixes whatever problems the first season had, without getting too big for its britches a la (Star Wars Episode 1). What exact problems did the first season had? It really only had one, in that it relied wayyyy too much on nostalgia for not only the time period, but copied a lot of film/television/pop culture beats of the 80s. I mean if you didn’t think of E.T. when Eleven was on the bike with Mike escaping from the government, I don’t know where your head was at.

Now, while there is some nostalgia this season, such as the the Pollywog reminding me of Gremlins a little bit, this season doesn’t hit you over the frying pan with it. Stranger Things did something a little strange, it has now become its own thing with homages to things that inspired it instead of completely ripping them off. It also vastly improved on characterization, even though the characterization was one of the reasons why the first season is so magical. Let’s be clear, the child acting in this as a whole is incredible. But that acting can go to waste if you don’t have characters that you come to know and care about. And the characters have to grow. In this season, they very much do. All of them. In fact, if you felt spurned by season one and felt that some of the kids (mostly Mike’s friends) got the short stick when it came to characterization/storytelling, it is completely fixed here.

I don’t know how they did it in 9 episode, but everyone gets their own full rounded, well developed storyline and equal screentime. I can’t believe they juggled all that but they did. You get Caleb and newcomer Max, you get Dustin with his Pollywog, you get Mike and his longing for Eleven and trying to reestablish his friendship with Will, you get Will trying to wrestle with the Upside Down demons still living inside of him. You get Hopper wrestling with secrets (those exact secrets are spoilerific) and you get Joyce with a new love in her life, Bob. And hell, you get Jonathan and Nancy trying to get Justice for Barb! All with equal screen time, it was incredible.

In fact, the only person that you could argue gets the short stick of storytelling this time is shockingly Eleven herself. Even though her journey gets its own episode (#7), most of the time, even though she is onscreen an equal amount just like everyone else, she mostly isn’t doing anything. But thankfully, episode 5 changes all that and even though we don’t get much, I have a feeling it is setting something up even bigger for season 3. Plus, I liked the fact that they didn’t forcefully just shove her into the action. They tried a slower organic way to do it, and even though it takes its time and its a little frustrating, it works. Another character, who plays newcomers Max (a girl) older stepbrother seems to not get much development, there is a big scene near the ends that plants something that could be truly cool yet sinister in season 3, we will see how and if that plays out.

The truly great episodes in this are 6, 8, and 9.  The pretty good episodes are 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5, with episode 7 being sort of the weakest link. HOWEVER, episode 7, just like Max’s step brother, sets up several seeds that could pay off in a later season, so we’ll just have to see if episode 7 gets more attention and love the farther into the series that we do get. But everything here is magical. I even think Winona Ryder managed to get better this time around. There is this one scene she has with Will that almost had me teary eyed, so again, I say give her a nomination this year please. And give David Harbour and Millie Bobbie Brown another nomination while you are at it. Even though Eleven didn’t really have all that much to do, Brown still knocked it out of the park.

And I loved the way the season uped the ante a little bit without going overboard. Yes, the upside down is back, but it is expanded upon and really is given great context in episodes 6, 8, and 9. And I loved the fact that the CGI in this was so, so, so, so, so much better than Season 1. I guess since their success they got a bigger budget? But yeah, great visuals that actually had a story to go with them.

But yeah, in conclusion, if you loved Stranger Things Season 1, you are more than likely to love Season 2 the same if not more in some areas. It still has its magic, and certainly is not fading at all from what I can see. I love the fact that there are only 8 or 9 episodes each season, keeping everything tight and not bloated at all. Hopefully they continue this trend and not add any more episodes to each order. It might’ve been a strange thing, seeing about 90% of the country binge watch Stranger Things Season 2 this weekend, but if you are part of the 10% that didn’t, or has never even seen a single episode of this series, well, that might actually be stranger.

 

I haven’t the faintest fucking clue what SUBURBICON was trying to be/accomplish/etc. It is not only one of the worst films of the year but I fail to see if it even had a point. It is also horribly mis-marketed. I know that George Clooney a month or so ago was quoted in an article saying that the trailer makes it look like a comedy but that it is only a soft couple of comedic beats and it is mostly dead serious. I kind of want to tell Clooney that the reason why it was marketed the way it was is that your movie sucks and that it was the only way to possibly get any asses in the theater. If the movie was sold to the audiences the way it is in the final cut, no one would’ve had a clue what they were supposed to make of the movie, and no one would’ve seen it. I don’t think the movie is getting bad reviews because it was sold to audiences as one movie and in actuality it is quite different. I think it is getting bad reviews because the movie is fucking terrible.

Suburbicon is horribly structured, horribly paced, horribly plotted, completely tone-deaf, and doesn’t have one likable character outside of the kid who plays Matt Damon’s son in the movie and the African-American family that lives next door (we’ll get to the problem with their story line in a second. Characters do things in this movie that makes absolutely zero sense. It is hard to explain without getting into spoilers so just trust me on that. The movie is marketed as a film that has a dark tone that slightly parodies suburbia life in the 50’s/60’s. Yeah, I didn’t even get a hint of that here. It’s like the movie couldn’t settle on a tone and didn’t know what it wanted to do, so it comes off as the most confusing tone-deaf experience I have ever probably had in the theater. There is one critic whose review on the Suburbicon poster said, “You’ll laugh till it hurts.” I don’t know what fucking movie he was watching, but I didn’t even chuckle, and from what the movie was trying to sell me, I don’t think I was supposed to either.

I know it seems like it is really hard to pin point who is to blame for this disaster but I’m probably going to have to put it all on Clooney. I know that the script said it was co written by him, Grant Heslov (who are both responsible for their trainwreck The Momuments Men) and the Coen brothers, but honestly, I think the Joel and Ethan’s name is just on it for show to get Coen fanatics into the theater (that’s how I was duped). I am willing to bet my life savings that their script was completely different, unfinished, and that Clooney and Heslov completely changed almost every aspect of it. I am willing to bet that the Coen’s script really did have a good Coen-y parody on life in suburbia and that it had a clear and concise tone. I don’t know what Clooney and Heslov were smoking when they were writing this.

I really can’t even describe the plot to you. I guess I could say that Matt Damon plays a business man in the 50s/60s who owes a lot of money to people with mob ties. Goons kill his wife by accident, and leave his sister-in-law (whose a twin so Julianne Moore plays two roles for some reason other than the fact that it is a meager plot device to be able to explain why Damon eventually fucks his sister-in-law mid movie) and son alive to pick up the pieces of the family tragedy. And there is a very underused subplot where an African American family moves in next door and racial tensions are high and most of the neighborhood wants them out. But then after that, the movie just takes some weird directions where I started to suspect they really didn’t have much of a story after all.

If any of the Coen’s script is in this, I have a feeling it is the only two good parts in the film, which is Oscar Isaac’s seedy insurance agent, and the African American family that lives next door. Now, Oscar Isaac is brilliant and gives his A+ game in everything he does, just like Tom Cruise, and this film is no exception. Even though his agent is an unlikable character, Isaac gives a quirky quality to his small role where we are actually invested in the movie for about 10 minutes. And while the subplot of the African American’s movie in is interesting and heartfelt whenever it is on screen, it is so underused and on screen for only about 15 minutes, it is criminal. In fact, I would’ve just liked to see a movie about that family mixed with a parody of suburban life. Now that actually sounds like it resembles a movie.

The characters here are completely unlikable. The acting is fine, but everyone is so murky and evil and vain that I just ended up hating Matt Damon and Julianne Moore in this. I know it isn’t their fault but the movie is just written that terrible. As for the direction from Clooney? What direction? Without a clear and concise tone the movie just ends up being a point and shoot kind of affair. Nothing whatsoever is artistic about this movie. And since I’m so tired of talking about this movie, I’m abruptly stopping this review. Sorry.

ALL I SEE IS YOU has a interesting concept, good acting (especially considering Blake Lively is in it) and is a visual feast on the eyes…which unfortunately also has a very poor execution of that concept and all the visual flair completely tries to hid the fact that the movie is quite boring and doesn’t have a very good story structure.  We already know that just visuals don’t make a movie (see any Michael Bay movie almost ever) And I should mention that you can’t just have concept either. Only concept does not make a movie and many filmmakers have experienced this plight. So is this movie bad? Not exactly. But it could’ve been so much more and because of that notion, it will get completely lost in the crowd to where if anyone ever mentions the title, scratching heads will soon follow.

All I See Is You is about a pretty much one second from being totally blind woman with her husband living somewhere in China and she gets the opportunity to get complete sight back in one of her eyes (she wasn’t blind from birth, a car accidental involving her parents made her almost totally blind). Once she gets the surgery and it works, their marriage starts to unravel as she sees and experiences things she wouldn’t normally see when blind. I do admit that this is an interesting concept. Heck, it would make one hell of a thriller if done correctly. However this is more of a psychodrama that only has fat and not much meat on its bones.

The visual flair I was talking about earlier is that we see the world at times through Blake Lively character’s eyes, which turns out, since she isn’t totally totally blind, kind of like a weird permanent Pollack painting. It is beautiful, and like I said, if done in a thriller it could’ve built a lot of tension and had some good real jump scares. Here, it’s just like Marc Forster is screaming “Look what I can do!” and just bukakying all in our faces. Don’t want to get into any spoilers, but once she gets the surgery and their marriage starts to unravel, it doesn’t unravel in a very interesting way. And the movie tries to play off certain things we knew were happening as twists, which is just treating the audiences as if we didn’t know what we were watching. A little bit insulting.

The acting is good here, with Blake Lively giving one of her best performances and Jason Clarke doesn’t his underrated thing he doesn’t seem to mind doing. And I did appreciate that they did hint how Jason Clarke’s character might be a tiny bit unhinged before his wife got her surgery. But the fact that everything could’ve been solved with a sit down conversation is frustrating. And the fact that neither character is really likable. Blake Lively’s character is very  sympathetic at the beginning, but then she gets her surgery, starts to act differently that seems ungrateful, and then she does something in the third act to completely ruin any amount of sympathy she had garnered at the beginning of the film.

Marc Forster is a talented director. He made Finding Neverland, Stranger Than Fiction, The Kite Runner, Monster’s Ball, and some would even chock World War Z to a somewhat liable success. But he has had his clunkers. He also made Quantum of Solace (some would agree this is the worst Bond film ever made), Machine Gun Preacher, and another visual film with no substance, Stay. I wouldn’t necessarily say this is a clunker, but it is definitely doesn’t reaches even near the highs of any of the films at the top of this paragraph. A shrug worthy effort that is not likely to ruin any careers.

So this is the other brutal movie I saw last night. Well, brutal in a different way. Brutal in the sense that it was very, very hard to watch. And not just Amy Schumer’s scenes (yes, she is in this, look at the credits on the poster), I’m talking about being brutal watching the story of soldiers coming back from their tour of duty in Afganistan and having major, life threatening PTSD. I should point out that the movie didn’t suck brutally either. It is actually quite good, with another solid standout performance from Miles Teller. But I could never watch this movie again. And the title is appropriate. Seeing what some of them half to go through, not only PTSD wise but also trying to get help getting back into normal life, anyone who has been in the military , anyone who has ever served. I really, truly THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.

This movie is very very depressing. And even though I can only watch it once I would say it is required viewing when you can see it, only to see what some individuals in the military have to go through when coming back from a war zone. The movie hits deep, even though I’m sure there are worse situations for some veterans other than what the three main characters went through, what they go through here is weighing on my mind. And be warned, this isn’t a war film at all. We barely spend time with them, maybe 10 minutes in an hour and 50 minute run time, in the war zone, this is all aftermath.

And it’s not a anti-war film either, which some people are misrepresenting. It’s a “we need to do better as a country to help our military once they get home” type of film. The film is screaming, “we aren’t doing enough.” And if even half of what is shown on screen is happening with our veterans, I completely agree, we aren’t doing near shit enough to help. The story is completely about three men who come home to Iraq with several PTSD and three different situations. Our main protagonist Adam, played by Miles teller, comes home to a wife and two children, one a newborn, who had a mishap saving someone’s life in Iraq. Another soldier, comes back home, but wants to get back out there as soon as possible, even though he has a wife who wants a child and he is starting to lose his memory. And the last trooper comes home to find that his fiance has left him and cleaned him dry.

All three stories are heartbreaking and feel true. Then again, it is based on a true story so I don’t know why it wouldn’t have been. The way they deal with their PTSD is at some times really hard to watch, and you just hope in the end each one of them get through it okay.

And while the movie is good, I want to talk about the elephant in the room (metaphorically not physically you butthurters) and that would be Amy Schumer. She is in this movie, but she is not in any of the trailers and the only way you would know that she is in this is reading the credits on the poster. She is so awkward in this, playing the wife of a dead soldier, that I literally cringed every time I saw her or she opened her mouth. While she is hardly in the film, maybe less than 10 minutes (and I have a feeling there are a lot of her scenes on the cutting room floor) Amy Schumer cannot act in a drama. Some would say she can’t act at all. I think she is fine in comedies, but as a grieving widow, she was so distracting. Especially when they try to hide her with a brunette wig. This movie proves that I can’t take Amy Schumer seriously.

Other than that, Thank You For Your Service is haunting, but a good wake up call to what our troops sometimes have to go through. I would say a once required viewing. I’m sure there are other PTSD military films out there to watch, but this one is more recent, so it hits home a little bit more. This weekend, all theaters are offering free tickets to veterans and current military personnel. If you are reading my review and are one of those brave soldiers, I would suggest using that free ticket to go and see this film. It’s a wake up call that we who are living the free life because of honorable people like you, we need to help you all more. Much, much more.

“If it’s Halloween, it must be Saw.” That was basically the tagline every year from 2004 to 2010. And every year I looked forward to hearing that tagline again and again. But then once Paranormal Activity came out and kept basically coming out a week before Saw every year near the end of the latter’s run, audience attentions spans got distracted and switched over to the found footage horror genre, leaving Saw with nothing to do but to release a shitty “Final Chapter”, add a 3D gimmick, not make money, and left the theaters for good in 2010. But now…it’s back. JIGSAW is back.

And friends, I am an unapologetic lover of this franchise. I always thought the writing here was better and had a more entertaining dynamic than the Paranormal Activity franchise, which basically lost touch after its third film, and then slipped into garbage movie trash oblivion. But not Saw. While Saw kind of wavered between films (mainly just II and V), sometimes the films would actually get better than it’s previous installments. When it was announced that Saw was coming back, there was hardly any information about it, and it was previous named Saw: Legacy (Jigsaw is a much better title), I was a bit skeptical. I mean was this a sequel? A reboot? A soft reboot?

What more could they possible do to Jigsaw’s story of getting ungrateful people to fight for their lives in some death trap maze where usually all the victims would lose? And then I saw the trailer, which was not only cool but which hinted at Jigsaw not really being dead, (oh yeah, spoiler alert, he died all the way back in the third film) which got me intrigued. If he is alive, how the hell did he survive Saw III?! What kind of twist with this installment bring? I knew that if the franchise came back, and at least didn’t bring an installment that was better than half of the others, Saw would officially be dead.

But dead it is not! In fact, Jigsaw is the best installment since the first. I loved it’s twisty, zany story that kept me guessing until the very end. You know each Saw movie has some kind of twist, and I loved the ultimate twist here. In fact I was the most shocked since that classic “moment” in the first movie, and I was constantly looking for it. The movie managed to leave me flabbergasted several times. To enjoy these movies, you have to look past the “torture porn” aspect of it, and just enjoy the insane amount of lunacy and suspend your belief as much as you can. And I can do that with these films.

I really only had four expectations: 1. Have a huge ultimate twist. 2. During that twist, play that Saw music we know so well. 3. Someone at the end says game over. 4. The traps are not only inventive but gives you that bloody and gory goodness horror audience crave. Only one of these things doesn’t happen, and it’s the one I let slide because it isn’t the first time it hasn’t been done. Am I going to describe the plot to you? Not really. I’ll just saw that more people are in a game that looks to be created by Jigsaw, which should be impossible since Jigsaw has been dead for ten years.

The film ends up being mainly a sequel and sort of a soft reboot (considering it’s been 7 years since the last film), but it doesn’t repeat scene for scene any of the traps, story devices or previous twists, which I definitely appreciated. Does our horror master actor Tobin Bell show up in this? I will not reveal that here either. You’ll just have to see for yourself. My friend Kim and I have been going to see every Saw film since we met each other when the 5th movie came out, and then we had a marathon of the other four. We love these films. And the fact that we both said, “well that was pretty damn good and entertaining,” is high praise for the franchise. Look, the only way you are going to see this film is if you are a fan of the franchise and want something better than the shitty Final Chapter. You can’t go into this movie not having seen the other films. That would be just dumb. So if you are intrigued, I suggest having a 7 movie marathon before heading to your theater. Enjoy Halloween. And see Saw.

My order of favorite to least favorite Saw films:

1.   Saw
2.  Jigsaw
3.  Saw VI
4.  Saw IV
5.  Saw III
6.  Saw II
7.  Saw V
8.  Saw: The Final Chapter