Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: MINDING THE GAP and CHRISTOPHER ROBIN (2 Film Review) Oscar Catch Up Part 2

Another two quick reviews of 2018 movies I needed to cross off my Oscar viewing list before the telecast.

MINDING THE GAP (Nominated For Best Documentary)

Not wanting to only see RBG as a documentary nominee, I decided to check out MINDING THE GAP, which is actually a Hulu original, and you can watch for free if you have a Hulu subscription. If RBG doesn’t win for Best Documentary, I nominate this as a very close second. The film is about three young men that bond together after having escaped their violent home life in Rockford, Illinois. We follow Zack, a young 20 something year old who is about to have a child with his girlfriend; Kiere Johnson a later teens African-American who loves to skate (they all skate, hence some of the meaning of the title), and can’t get over his abusive father’s deah, and Bing (actually the director of the doc), who interviews his mom about the abusive relationship they all had with his deceased step father. They are all trying to figure out their way in the world.

The film is quite heartbreaking, some of the paths and stories these young men take will make your jaw drop to the ground and maybe even shed a tear. They all want a better life and all of them try to go down that path, even if they veer off of it time and time again. This movie was made with footage over (and I’m estimating here) around 5 years (I can tell from the growth of Zack’s child) and eventually the young men’s paths veer apart and they don’t have as much contact with each other very much. It is up to you to wonder if the ending is hopeful or bittersweet.

It’s really a simple documentary into the lives of less privileged individuals and the effects of violent home life, and all of the messages are clear even though the doc doesn’t outright tell you what they are. I am usually bored by documentaries and completely ignore the category each year for the Oscars. Seeing this and RBG in a row (and seeing Won’t You Be My Neighbor earlier this year), it is beginning to change my mind and I think I will start seeking them out more regularly in the future. I was expecting to possibly be bored by this one, pausing and taking a break a billion times before finishing it. But I watched it in basically one sitting, and that is saying something.

CHRISTOPHER ROBIN (Nominated For Best Visual Effects)

I was supposed to see CHRISTOPHER ROBIN with my wife in the theater, but then she got sick, we cancelled and never had time to make it before it hit home video. I really like Winnie The Pooh and his friends, and enjoyed the older movies and stories I had read growing up. I had really wanted to see it at first, but then Rotten Tomatoes and some audience reviews told me other wise, and I kind of kept this one at the back burner. It being nominated for Visual Effects and needing to cross it off my Oscar viewing list, I decided to check it out. It absolutely deserves to be nominated for Best Visual Effects. Pooh and his friends look completely real, as real as you can get without being a puppet or muppet. At times, I couldn’t even tell there was even CGI. And some of the CGI imagery to represent an older world was quite breathtaking as well.

The story was a bit…uh…the word I’m looking for is repetitive. It’s been done a million times before the same way. Look at Steven Spielberg’s Hook for instance, it asked us what if Peter Pan grew up? In the movie he ends up being consumed with work and ignoring his kids. Then he gets drawn back to Neverland, where he discovers his inner child again and the importance of the life he now has an adult. This movie is the exact same thing, but instead of Peter Pan, it’s Christopher Robin, and instead of Neverland, it’s the Hundred Acre Woods. But since this is a KIDS film, you have to keep that in mind. And if I’m thinking about that, then the plot is service-able enough for its target audience.

The movie is a moderately short 1hr and 40 minutes, and the time does fly relatively fast enough. I did though think that Christopher Robin’s reunion with all the other animals was a bit short and I would’ve loved to see Ewan McGregor (who is good as always) play with his friends in the Hundred Acre Wood a bit more before continuing with the actual predictable plot. And there were a couple of scenes that I thought might be a little to frightening for some younger children, like images of war, and a possible scary real ‘heffalump.’ But it doesn’t get too scary, basically has the same tone as hook with scary scenes as scary for children when Peter’s kids are initially taken by Captain Hook. All in all it was a fine film, could’ve been much better, but good for its target audience. And it definitely deserved to be nominated for Visual Effects.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: THE WIFE and RBG (two film review) Oscar Catch Up Part 1

So when Oscar nominations came out last Tuesday, because of some surprise foreign film nominations, I have a little catching up to do. So in my Oscar Catch Up Review series, I’m going to do two short summaries on films that I didn’t quite catch while they were in theaters, but got to before the Oscars:

THE WIFE (Glenn Close is nominated for Best Actress)

I had the chance to see THE WIFE in theaters, but I knew it was going to be available to watch about one month before the Oscars telecast went live, so I figured why waste the theater dollars and redeem a free rental? Glenn Close is sweeping up the awards that many feel (not me) should be going to Lady Gaga for A Star Is Born. Well, since I finally watched this little movie I can tell you that, in my opinion, those people that feel that the award should go to Lady Gaga, not to put it mildly, are morons. Glenn Close has been nominated for 6 Academy Awards and never has won. This is Lady Gaga’s first big acting awards recognition role. Glenn Close can acts circles around Lady Gaga and it isn’t even funny.

I guess you can chalk up my opinion to that I don’t think Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper have one lick of chemistry in A Star Is Born. Glenn Close in this plays the wife of a prestigious author that was just told he is going to be receiving the Nobel Prize for Literature that year. The movie is about the two of them, along with their son, attending the ceremony. Through all this, Close’s character begins to question the choices she made in life. If this movie sounds familiar, it is (see: Colette and 45 Years), but its the performances that make it captivating. Both Glenn Close and Jonathan Pryce (plays the husband) are like ticking time bombs of emotion in this movie, and everything relies on their facial expressions to convey to the audience how they are feeling. Glenn Close is a master at this, and I think Jonathan Pryce should be getting a little more recognition for his performance as well.

The film is a short 99 minutes and it just breezes by, it’s a very good watch. My only complaint about it is that I think it would’ve been tighter without the flashbacks to Close and Pryce being played by younger people. I think that the movie could’ve told us through the good dialogue it had and inferred to what happened, rather to show everything with going back in time. I have a feeling it that was the screenwriters intention, and that the flashbacks might’ve been studio interference. Other than that, everything about the movie is a little time bomb, even Christian Slater has a minor juicy role as the match trying to ignite that explosion. If you have the chance to watch it before The Oscars, I highly recommend it, as this is Glenn Close’s Oscar. Plain and Simple.

RBG (nominated for Best Documentary)

RBG, is about none other than Ruth Bader Ginsberg, who is currently 85 years old, still kicking, and still an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States. I am probably more shocked than you that, Won’t You Be My Neighbor? did not get nominated for an Academy Award, and since it isn’t, I sure do hope that this wins.

This is a short 1 hr 38 minute documentary, which fortunately doesn’t shoot itself down itself by trying to be a chronologically, information overload, chronologically bound slow ride of a biography. This feature keeps it short, sweet, to the point, with some great highlights. It doesn’t go birth to death, and it doesn’t try to explain and study every single aspect of her life. We go back and forth with her during present day and how she has become this cultural phenomenon, that even she can’t see why she has become this huge thing, back to her college days with some landmark cases you might not even know about in between.

Like I said in my review of On The Basis of Sex, if you watch this film, and then that film, it makes quite a great double feature. Filmmakers that make documentaries now know that you can’t just bog a viewer down with the facts, you have to make it interesting. And this film sure does win your interest pretty easily. They even show her watching Kate McKinnon doing an impression of her on ‘Saturday Night Live,’ laughing along, and then when the interviewer asks, “do you see yourself in that impression?” she laughs it off and says, “not one bit.” That moment, along with a bunch of other really interesting other tidbits, make this a worthy documentary to watch.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: GLASS (no spoilers)

Right off the bat, I want to just divulge that I think Unbreakable is M. Night Shyamalan’s best film, an underrated masterpiece if there ever was one. I do hold The Sixth Sense in high regard as a close second. I did think that Split was very good, only being several awkward scenes and some editing away from being a masterpiece itself. And I think Signs and The Village are very good too, we get to both half-hazard endings. And I think The Last Airbender, The Visit, The Happening, Lady In The Water, and After Earth are all great big piles of shit. I didn’t see GLASS until Sunday morning, so color me a bit shocked when it was released to bad reviews (even though it was a January film, yet again Split was released in January). A lot of folks were saying that instead of continuing to build upon the comeback he had with Split, he instead combined what he did best, with the worst of most of his career. After finally seeing it for myself, I’m going to keep my real feelings for the film in check, and say that I disagree with what the masses are saying. I actually kind of liked it.

Does the movie have its problems? Absolutely. It is definitely the weakest in the Eastrail 177 Trilogy and it does stumble a bit, especially the editing and style choice of the ending, but the whole thing never topples over like I was expecting it to. For those of you not in the know. Glass continues/concludes the story of Bruce Willis’ character David Dunn and Samuel L. Jackson’s character Mr. Glass from Unbreakable along with James McAvoy’s multiple personality character Kevin from Split. I’m not really spoiling anything by saying the story concludes because Shyamalan has said that this is it, his original vision of a trilogy is finished and there is no going back in numerous interviews. And I thought it was actually a pretty good grounded into reality imaginative ending. A lot of people didn’t like certain character reveals, fates, twists, what have you, but I see very much into what kind of story Shyamalan was trying to tell and I thought that most of his choices felt real and bold.

In my opinion, the problem with the ending of the story, ideas, etc. wasn’t so much in the writing, but in the execution of the shots, pacing, editing, all the technical aspects. I for one was not like a lot of these critics and expecting a grand spectacle of epic proportions where Dunn and The Horde were going to ram each other into buildings and other objects with grace like camera work and explosions. I expected a realistic showdown with two men of extraordinary strength and one with a cunning mental wit, and that is exactly what I got. I expected better direction though. There are a lot of shots between the fights with Dunn and The Horde that were very questionable, such as some of the POV shots. They seemed a little lazy and that Shymalan knew that action scenes were out of his element (see: The Last Airbender) so he experimented with something else that still didn’t quite work. The pacing also seemed off where as all the action and reveals felt sluggish and not snappy like they were supposed to be.

The problem with the writing proponent in regards the ending, well, actually I guess you could say in parts of the entire film, was the over explanation of things. Shyamalan was trying to make a grounded, real life comic book hero flick, paying homage with a little bit of parodying, while still being very serious. Yet the dialogue, twists, reveals, explanations from all the characters go on entirely too long. We get it. A characters explains just a couple of sentences about something, and I, and I’m pretty sure the rest of the audience, completely gets what is going on. However Shyamalan can’t help himself, almost to the point where he might as well have had a bullhorn over every individuals ear watching the film and screaming, “DO YOU GET IT?!?!?” Kind of like what Darren Aronofsky did with mother! if you needed any comparison.

But the rest of the film is pretty good, bordering on great at times. Out of a 2 hour and 10 minute run time. The first hour and 40 minutes are quite solid. The last half hour is when Shyamalan’s ego gets in the way. Without revealing the fates of the characters, I felt that one of them was sold a bit short, and one went on way too long. I agree with all the fates and the entire ending idea of the trilogy, it just needed to be constructed better. The acting is top notch all over the place, even Bruce Willis seemed like he wanted to actually be there. People complained that for a film titled after Samuel L. Jackson’s character, that it took too long for him to appear in the film, but I’d argue that that was a fantastic story choice and it felt natural in the ultimately sway of things, plus Jackson again, is good here. Anya Taylor-Joy is good too, and while you might think her character is bordering on being “stockholm syndrome” here, you might want to re watch Split, as everything makes sense and was set up beautifully in regards to her character arc in that film. The real scene stealer is, of course, James McAvoy. If you’ve seen Split (why wouldn’t you? If you watch Glass without seeing Unbreakable or Split then you are a weirdo and need to get your priorities checked) you know what I am talking about here. He lights up the screen every moment he is in this film.

But yeah, I liked Glass and I’m arguing against the majority here, so sue me.
There are some things I will agree with, such as it is definitely the weakest of the M. Night Shyamalan’s trilogy and that the ending stumbles a bit (although we disagree on how it stumbles), but it is not enough to completely topple the whole thing over. I think if another writer came in and polish M. Night’s screenplay, and if he had a couple of directors come in while he was shooting and gave him some pointers, it could have been a strong finish, as good as Split, or even better. But alas, Shyamalan basically financed the whole thing himself, and his ego got in the way. Critics are not giving it great reviews because they expected more but got less. For me, sometimes less is more. If only the ending would’ve been a little bit less…

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: ON THE BASIS OF SEX

ON THE BASIS OF SEX is the second Ruth Bader Ginsberg movie to come out this year. Thankfully, they both work as companion pieces to each other because the second one is just titled RBG, and is just a good old fashioned documentary on her. This movie, is a Hollywood-ized, pampered up, layman’s terms, dolled up tale on one aspect of her life with those pesky end credit title cards to sum up the rest of her incredible career. While I would love to see a movie, hell, maybe a sequel (hopefully maybe even wait awhile so Felicity Jones can get older) of her path to get a seat as a Supreme Court Judge. But this will do for now. The reason why some critics aren’t having this is because of the Hollywood-ized version, and just like Bohemian Rhapsody, probably mostly a fictional account of true events, where everything probably happened a lot more slower and a lot more boring in real life. But I actually liked it. Yes, some movies should get a whip of the ruler to their wrist when dolled up movie doesn’t work that great in their favor (see: Bohemian Rhapsody). But movies like this, that know the perfect recipe to get butts out of their house to buy tickets and then sit that butt in a theater, are forgivable and at times, even really enjoyable.

Not to hark on Bohemian Rhapsody but, no matter what side of the entertainment spectrum anyone is on that film, everybody can probably agree that there was a better movie in there somewhere. Especially if they would’ve just focused on Freddie Mercury. Well, unlucky for that movie, it didn’t have a Queen/Freddie Mercury documentary to come out the same year. I have a sneaking suspicion that Focus Features got wind of the documentary coming out while they were developing this movie, and knew that since the movie was going to expand Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s entire career, that they needed to have more of a central focus on this. Because copying would be frowned upon. So this movie smartly just tells the tale on one aspect of her life that expanded a little over a decade: her early career trying to get work, and then taking a law tax case with her husband that deal with a middle aged, single, never married man being denied a caregiver tax break (he was taking care of his sick mom) based solely on his gender.

And the movie is good. It works. I was thoroughly entertained through out the whole thing. Everything law based was explained perfectly to the audience to get what was happening on screen. That aspect was basically the dolled up part of the whole thing. But if you took the dialogue and what really happened in real life and put it shot for shot up on the big screen, the real question is would you still be entertained? And the studio/filmmakers/producers definitely checked the no box as the answer to that question. In my opinion, probably a smart move when you consider that a documentary was coming out just months before the release. And both this movie and the documentary together make a one-two punch of a pretty decent double feature. If you’ve ever wanted to know the legacy of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, you could do no wrong in watching both of these movies.

Now while the film was getting early Oscar buzz with Felicity Jones being nominated for best actress, and can tell you with 100% confidence that that is not going to happen. But that doesn’t mean she isn’t good. She is really really good here, and it is only heightened by the fact that she is playing a real person, someone with real character, which is better than her last film, where she played a rebel named Jyn Erso, that had absolutely no character development, and was just reading off lines the best that she could. Shit, I forgot what the little movie was called… Anyway, I digress, the rest of the acting is good here too. Armie Hammer is charismatic as Ruth’s husband, Justin Theoroux is quirky as Mel Wolfe, a high up contact in the ACLU, and Sam Waterson plays a great asshole per usual. It does list Kathy Bates as being in this film too, but she is in two short 3 minute scenes, an almost blink and you’ll miss it part. But she’s fine in it too.

I really only have one complaint about the film, and that is Cailee Spaeny, who plays Ruth’s 15 year old daughter at the time, Jane. Here’s the problem with that. By my calculations, Ruth Bader Ginsberg was 37 at the time her daughter was 15. Now, Felicity Jones is really 35, so being two years older is not a stretch for her or anyone. But Cailee Spaeny is 21…playing a 15 year old… When watching the film (she spouts out her character’s exact age at one point), I did not for one second believe she was 15 and I didn’t know that the actress was 21 at the time (I did research to see if my feelings were true). Her acting is just too mature for the role. She definitely doesn’t look 15 either. It’s the same problem I had with some of the Spider-Man films, specifically the Tobey Maguire ones. Tobey Maguire was 28 when he first played Spider-Man…and they started Peter Parker’s story when he was still in high school, 17-18. I didn’t for one second believe that Maguire was the age he was supposed to be playing in those films. Surely there was another 15 year old out there that could’ve played Jane and have her youthful looks be more convincing for the role with the same acting experience? The point is, I never believed that Jane was Ruth’s daughter in this. Felicity Jones and Cailee Spaeny look like sisters rather Mother and Daughter. Took me out of the film a couple of times.

But anyone reading this could chalk that up to a minor complaint, and I agree, it is. The movie is entertaining start to finish, it a lot of fun at times, and it is well acted. What more could anyone want? I’m not going to bash or discredit the movie for not being as monumental as Ruth Bader Ginsberg life probably really was. The filmmakers knew that the documentary was coming out, so they told a smaller section of her gigantic story. If there was anything I would’ve recommended to them before they released it is that I would’ve taken out the “in summary” title cards about the rest of her life. Doing that could peak younger people’s interest in her and do some digging to figure out that information all on their own. Or maybe seek out the RBG doc as a nice one two punch of a double feature. The should’ve left it just at the final shot, with a much older Ruth climbing up the Supreme Court steps, and hint hint, it isn’t Felicity Jones in make up. So if the real Ruth Bader Ginsberg agreed to a cameo, surely that marks her stamp of approval? Because, and let’s get real here, she doesn’t need the paycheck.

My Zany Review of those Zany Golden Globe Awards Last Night…

Everybody hates the Golden Globes. If you look at the commentary on social media, Entertainment Review sites, and random blogs that happen to talk about the Hollywood Foreign Press…they think the entire ceremony is a joke. That it doesn’t predict what is going to happen on Oscar night (slightly not true). That it’s just a laid back awards show that gets a bunch of booze into those celebrities that clamor for it (slightly true). What do I think? The Golden Globes can go both ways. I think that they are slightly more serious now than when I was younger (like when The Tourist was nominated for Best Comedy…) but time and again they have those weird categories that certain films should never be in (aka The Martian as Best Comedy or A Star Is Born and Bohemian Rhapsodies not being in the Best Musical Category). I do think however it does in a way show of what is to come. Mainly that people are finally starting to realize how overrated A Star Is Born truly is.

I think the A Star Is Born buzz came about because of millennials. On all these sites, some of these really dumb moviegoers are crying that it is “the best drama since Titanic.” But then when you tell them that the movie has been made three times before and this is the third remake, they look at you dumbfounded and just brush it off. If the Golden Globes proved anything last night is that the star that Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga were certain they would fly across the sky on, is dwindling, and it is dwindling fast. And good riddance. I liked A Star Is Born, but I only liked it enough to the point that my fondness for it has been in further decline every time I hear someone say it is the end all be all of drama films. It’s not. Watch the first one from 1937 or the Judy Garland one from 1954. Those are classic renditions of the story line and characters. I don’t get the love for this Bradley Cooper version at all. Is it because Lady Gaga keeps repeating the same damn speech about “99 people that don’t believe in you, but then there is that one that does” over and over again?

Look, she’s going to win an Oscar for the song ‘Shallow.’ And even I’ll admit it will be well deserved. I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t acknowledge that, for I hum and sing the song all the time in the damn shower. Point is, she is going to win an award FOR SOMETHING SHE IS QUALIFIED For. I’m not saying she is never going to be qualified as an actress, but to give her an Oscar for acting for her first ever role, when in my opinion, she was only okay in it, is ridiculous. There is only room for growth now. As for the film itself, the direction was no where near the caliber of where people are saying it is at. For Bradley Cooper, it is a solid debut effort. It isn’t Oscar worthy, and for me, it’s a little above mediocre point and shoot style mainly only due to the performances other than Gaga, including his own. Last night, the Best Director award went to the right person, Alfanso Cuaron for Roma. You can’t “boo” that decision until you’ve seen the film. There are some damn fine exquisite shots in there that I don’t think Cooper has the talent to pull off right now.

So I guess you could say in summation that I was very happy with the Golden Globes last night. Especially when A Star Is Born didn’t win best picture. Now I would’ve rather had Blackkklansman, or Black Panther or even If Beale Street Could talk win (all three of those films are above and beyond better than A Star Is Born), but honestly, I’ll take Bohemian Rhapsody since it did beat out A Star Is Born (Bohemian Rhapsody I also feel was above and beyond better than Cooper’s film). As for this Bohemian Rhapsody controversy? It’s stupid. Yes, Bryan Singer has been charged twice for being a pedophile a couple of years ago (one case was dismissed and the other was dropped altogether) and when news came he was fired off the set of Bohemian Rhapsody, there came yet another allegation of him fondling some 17 year old at a party a few years ago (we have yet to see what will come of that case). Singer was fired from the set due to constant bickering between him and star Rami Malek, and also that Singer was reportedly either always let to the shoots or sometimes didn’t even show up at all. Aka, he deserved to be fired if what I’ve heard is true.

This whole awards season, fuck, even the marketing for Bohemian Rhapsody has been trying as much as possible to not even make mention of Bryan Singers name. The ONLY reason why his directorial credit remains on that film, and not Dexter Fletcher’s, is because of guild rules and legal reasons. If a director shoots more than 50% of a movie, they get sole directorial credit, and Singer had shot all but two weeks left of the film. The posters did not have his name on it, his name was barely mentioned in interviews, Bryan Singer did not go on the marketing tour of the film, the only thing his name shows up on is the directed by, at the end of the movie, and even then, I think the movie was edited to get that in and out of the finished film faster than any other name shown in the credits. You can tell that the producers of the film would’ve put Fletcher’s name on their if they could, rules just wouldn’t permit them to. So they did what they had to do. Case in point, when Malek won last night and win the film one for Best Drama and producer Graham King accepted the Oscar, neither one even uttered Singer’s name, let alone thank him.

So to say that the movie winning is controversial because of one possible (not legally proved in court yet) pedophile’s semi involvement is the most idiot thing to utter from anyone’s breath. A movie is not the heart and soul of just one person. You know the Marvel movies, where you stay until the after credits scene, and you wait patiently for about 6 to 10 minutes, seeing all those names go by? Yeah, those people worked on the film too. And they worked hard. And I’m sure that even though the producer gets the award in the end, ANYONE in the thousands involved in the production last night had a grin ear to ear when they heard the film’s name as the winner last night. It was their hard work being recognized. Even saying it was controversial because most critics were split on the film is stupid. The film has made nearly $200 million domestic and is now the highest grossing musical biopic of all time, so obviously some people are really digging the film. Me personally? I thought it was only okay, and it would’ve been meh if it hadn’t been for Rami Malek. Out of the awards it one, there should be NO controversy that he won for his performance. He was out-fucking-standing in that role and deserves that Academy Award if he happens to win over Bale and Cooper on Oscar night. On Bohemian Rhapsody as a whole, it’s just a standard rise and fall biopic that you’ve seen many and many times before. If the story would’ve just focused on Mercury and dug a little deeper into his troubled private life, it could’ve been outstanding. It was only okay for me, but a lot of people seem to be loving it, and that is okay. At least this isn’t the 4th rendition of his story to hit the big screen.

As for all the other winners: perfectly happy with. Especially Regina King for If Beale Street Could Talk. Amy Adams will get her statue one day, and probably for a film that is better than Vice, even though I personally loved it. Amy Adams is this generations’s Kate Winslet or Meryl Streep. Will eventually win a statue for something, but be constantly nominated and not win. Regina King owned that role on Beale Street, and I hope she wins. I’d be okay with Adams too. And I’m okay with Mahershala Ali even though he won a couple of years ago for Moonlight (Academy Awards wise, he didn’t win the Golden Globe). But I think the Oscar will go to Richard E. Grant for Can You Ever Forgive Me? He is God damn phenomenal in that film, so is McCarthy, and if you haven’t seen that film or Green Book you need to go out to the theater immediately and try to catch it.

Green Book was my favorite film of 2018, so I was thrilled when it won Best Comedy and took home the Screenplay award as well. I know some others weren’t thrilled and were hoping it went to The Favourite, but I thought that film was overrated as well and only okay, even though I thought Olivia Coleman definitely deserved that award. I have yet to see The Wife (I will Jan 29th), but when has Glenn Close phoned in a role? Seriously, when? Look at her entire career, even her performances in 101 Dalmations and Air Force One. Her complete A game in every single picture she as done. I’m sure she is nothing less than perfect in The Wife, and definitely deserved to win over Gaga, especially when you look at her entire career as a whole (Close has been nominated for 6 Oscars, never won, so don’t give it to newbie Gaga). Seriously, I’m done with A Star Is Born at this point. Oh, I almost forgot to mention…HELL YES to Spider-Man Into The Spider-Verse winning best animated feature over the only okay Incredibles 2. I hope that the Oscars gets it right as well. A spectacular animated film!

So yeah, those are my thoughts on the winners in the movies category. Very pleased indeed. This is the part where I’d write about 10 more paragraphs on the Television categories, but to tell you the truth, I didn’t watch 95% of what was nominated, so who gives a fuck about my opinion on those? In summation, fine with all the winners there too. What were your thoughts on both the Movies and Television winners? I’d like to know! If you expected a review on the show in general, like Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh as hosts, look elsewhere. I’m very proud that Sandra Oh won for her role on Killing Eve, but her hosting skills, along with her jokes with Andy Samberg, were really hit or miss…mostly miss. I will review my thoughts on the SAG winners combined with whatever wins awards from the Directors Guild, Writers guild, Producers Guild, etc. in a separate mid awards season post, and then a final post after Oscars night. Until then, you still have time to try and catch up before Feb 24th! Don’t waste it!

Zach’s Zany Movie? Reviews: BANDERSNATCH (Black Mirror, Netflix)

Is BANDERSNATCH a movie? I guess it is if you take the long ass process of trying to go back near the end of the experience where it lets you either go to the end credits or choose a different path. I’m mostly reviewing it because, like fuckin’ Bird Box, it seems to be the only thing anybody has been talking about the past week. Probably because of the whole choose your adventure type deal. Does anyone remember doing one with a book recently? So here we are. My experience with Black Mirror? I’ve seen three episodes. I’ve seen the one where Bryce Dallas Howard goes nuts in a social world, I’ve seen the one where Kurt Russell’s son has a nightmare in virtual reality, and of course I’ve seen the Jesse Plemons and the whole Star Trek unique kind of pseudo parody of an episode. All of those episodes are better than this.

I’ve had minor experiences of choose your own adventure type deals. When I was a kid I had several of R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps choose your own adventure books. I didn’t like those either. They either ended too fast, or the ending would suck, or I would lose my place when trying to go back and pick a different path. All of those experiences kept rushing back at me when watching and choosing my paths during this ‘adventure.’ I went through all of the endings Bandersnatch, and they were either unsatisfying or too meta, none of it having enough Will Poulter to justify me having watching it. I think in the end, I just didn’t think the story was interesting enough to warrant a choose your own adventure. None of the choices were interesting and none of them really were outlandish enough to make much of a difference.

But that’s just my opinion. I’m sure a lot of people will be mystified that I didn’t like this. The ‘film’ takes place in the 80s, where a young male (Dunkirk’s Fionn Whitehead) is making a choose your own adventure game from his favorite nove, Bandersnatch, itself a choose your own adventure book. A game developer is interested and with some advice from a programmer named Colin (the always great Will Poulter) he tries to finish the game on a deadline, and with each passing day, he gets a little more crazy. Too bad the whole thing didn’t get as bat shit crazy as it could have (yes, yes I know about the Netflix option, but I’m talking even further) and none of the endings were really that satisfying to me narrative wise.

Which stinks because David Slade’s direction and stylistic choices, including pretty damn good cinematography, and all of the acting, are all much better than the story deserves. Put all of that in a different plot, with a shit ton of more paths and a shit ton of more bat shit crazy choices, and this could’ve been something really really special. Will Poulter is great in it, considering he really only has a huge presence in only two scenes. Will Poulter deserved a better Black Mirror episode, where he headlined it. I am hoping that the success of this brings us something like that. This experiment isn’t a complete failure, as the one aspect I did like with the choices was the seamless 10 second timer and the flawless flow of the editing. No pauses, no noticeable breaks. Take those aspects and put it in a better plot and story and next time it could be something that everyone talks about for years, and not just weeks.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: NEW YEAR, NEW YOU (Hulu, no spoilers)

NEW YEAR, NEW YOU has got to be the worst original content I have ever watched on the Hulu streaming service, and I fell asleep during the first episode of The Handmaid’s Tale. This movie is part of their 12 episode/movie Into The Dark series, where they debut one original horror/thriller movie a month for a year. This is the 4th one, and I haven’t watched any of the others because the first two got terrible reviews, and just haven’t had enough time to watch the last one, Pooka, which actually probably got the most decent reviews of them all. The reason why I checked this one out is because it got decent reviews as well, it stars Suki Waterhouse, who I loved in Assassination Nation and The Bad Batch, and they said there are two twists you can’t see coming. I have two words for the last thing I mentioned. Bull and shit.

This movie is only 1 hr and 24 minutes long, and 45 minutes of it is just late 20s women talking like annoying 15 year olds in different parts of a giant mansion like house on New Years Eve. One of the girls in the foursome group is famous, one of them is jealous and has a scar on her face she felt ruined whatever career she couldn’t had, one is overweight but sassy, and one is a lesbian gushing over her long time girlfriend. Truths comes out, things escalate, and there may or may not be killing and murder involved. One huge problem with the movie is that there is not one likable character in the bunch. Well, the lesbian is, but she doesn’t get enough screen time or characterization to really feel for her character before things start to escalate. The other three are just annoying, cruel, assholes that you probably wouldn’t want to be friends with in the first place.

I wanted to rip my ears off for 45 minutes, and then when things start to really escalate, I just didn’t care what was happening anymore and couldn’t get into it. The films turns into people running around a mansion like house, hiding from one another, may or maybe not trying to hurt each other. Carly Chaikin, who is in Mr. Robot, is in this, and she should’ve just stuck to that job. Being in this trash I feel is completely embarrassing for her career. And these two twists that people are speaking of, they aren’t really twists than they are than just very, very minor changes to the story. One occurs halfway through with a character’s motivation, and the other happens with a different character at the very end. Both of them are predictable as anything you could ever guess, and they are really dumb and and worthless.

New Year New You, with all the stream-able content out right now, is surely a must miss. Avoid it at all costs, because for the first 45 minutes you’ll be bored and annoyed out of your mind, and the last 39 minutes you just won’t care what is happening on screen. The direction is uninspired, the acting is terrible and hokey, the entire film is a complete mess. Make a resolution each year to never watch it.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: ESCAPE ROOM (no spoilers)

Imagine a Saw movie today, but completely stripped of any blood, guts, or gore, any terrible language, a memorable central villain, yet however, more intriguing puzzles and entertainment value to distract the fact that you are not watching a torture porn film. That’s ESCAPE ROOM (this film is PG-13). And no, I’m not talking about the direct to video one that had Skeet Ulrich in it. I’m talking about the one that came out today with True Blood’s Deborah Ann Woll, Tyler Labine, and a bunch of other people you have probably never heard of. When going into the movie, I was expecting a “FUCK YOU, IT’S JANUARY” type of experience. But to my surprise, Escape Room did not deserve to be released this month, because it is actually better than it has any right to be.

I can’t lie and say this movie didn’t entertain me. It really did. So much so in fact that when it was over I was dazed by how fast the 99 minutes flew by. Not to say it’s the greatest January film ever or even one of the best of 2019 already, it was just “in the moment” fun. It’s a little too early to say if it has repetitive view type of merit. Other than the fact that I was shocked I actually liked this movie, I’m shocked this is a January film. When I all capped the phrase in the previous paragraph “FUCK YOU, IT’S JANUARY” (phrase was coined by the clever and hilarious guys over at RedLetterMedia.com), I was referring to how studios usually dump the films they don’t have a lot of confidence in this month. They do this to get the most out of a very slow month (Oscar viewing season is dwindling down) to get your box office bucks, and they think they can make more by doing this maneuver, rather than just selling to Netflix or going straight to video.

This film was too entertaining, and at times clever to be a January film. Maybe late March/early April or a Halloween film. The trailers sort of mis-market the movie as a horror film, with escape rooms actually killing you if you don’t solve the puzzles, but in actuality it is more of a thriller. I do have to give a hand to one part of the marketing, the fun parts of each escape room aren’t ruined in the trailers or TV spots at all. And that’s the best part of the movie, the puzzles in the escape room. I had a lot of fun trying to guess how to solve each room and mentally trying to telepathically send a message to these fictional characters on the big screen where to go and what to do. For a movie called Escape Room, it earns its title. And you cinephiles out there, yes, I know that there is a mid 90s movie called Cube that is a hard R futuristic type version of this film. I have seen it, and I like that one as well.

Also, before I get to the two things that kept this movie from being fantastic, let me give the movie one more shake of the hand. The characters weren’t two dimensional. With such a short 99 minute run time, I thought the cleverness of the escape rooms would be a distraction on how cookie cutter the characters personalities and actions would be. Nope, they manage to give backstories to all of the main escape room characters, and they all manage to work where you actually care about who lives or dies by the end of the movie. And all the acting in the movie was pretty top notch for what is was, in particularly from Deborah Ann Wall, Tyler Labine, and Logan Miller.

Now the two things that stop this film from being great, is the very beginning and the very end of the film. I promise no spoilers, but the beginning of the film does one of those devices that films do that I hate, which is show a later point in the movie, and then the title card pops up that says “# Days Earlier” and goes back to the real start of the film. I literally can’t stand anymore when films do that, because it only shows a character/couple of characters in that moment, so the tension is taken out of knowing that character at least won’t die until that point, and then you probably can then guess that the other characters are taken out earlier in the film. And now the ending, which I won’t spoil here either I promise. The ending felt too rushed. When everything that is going on is revealed I literally said out loud, “wait, that’s it?!” and then another passage in time title card appeared and I really just groaned. For a film with really clever escape room puzzles I was expecting more of a powerful punch of an ending. The ending isn’t horrible by any means. It is just 20 minutes worth of plot crammed into about 5 to 7 minutes. Some of the dialogue was hard to understand and I squinted my eyes and thought, “wait, what is happening?” It also sets up the obligatory sequel shit as well, and hopefully they take it in a actual sequel direction, unlike Saw which just did new characters every time and we cared less and less about them.

Anyway, yes, Escape Room is worth a watch and enjoyable. The theater was pretty packed at my screening and I think it might really do well for January. But this is a film best watched at home, with a group of friends (especially ones that you’ve been with to an actual real escape room), with all of you screaming out and talking about the rooms and how you would try and solve the puzzles. While this film is fun, will it end up being forgettable? That’s a riddle to be solved later.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: (fuckin’) BIRD BOX (Netflix)

Alright, I’ll play along with these annoyingly irritating dumb numerous memes floating around the internet paying homage to a movie released a week ago, BIRD BOX. You go to the drive thru at Popeyes, and order the 5 piece spicy chicken tenders box with a biscuit and red beans and rice as your side, and you order a nice Coca Cola, light ice, to wash it down. You get home and open your box and there are only three God damn tenders in there, none of them spicy, the biscuit is missing, instead of red beans and rice they give you their disgusting mac and cheese, and your coke is a bitter Root Beer, ice to the brim. BIRD BOX is that second “bird box” I described.

In this review I’m not going to go down the route of, “Bird Box is basically just A Quiet Place and The Happening if they fucked and had a little baby bird.” That is the least of the movies problems. And with all these technicalities, like the first draft (not publishing date) of the novel Bird Box was before The Happening and this and A Quiet Place being filmed around the same time, making those arguments is going to get you no where. I’ll just say that the movie in no way gets to the ridiculousness of The Happening, but it in no way gets even close to the heights of A Quiet Place. It is just in a mediocre middle.

The movie starts out promising. The mass hysteria where everything starts and people start killing themselves in front of Sandra Bullock was really well done and shot. It made what happens all throughout The Happening feel like it was written and directed by a monkey with a blind fold on. But then…we get into the one location problem. And yes, I get that it switches back and forth between past and present day. But the past stays in one location (the house) and the present basically stay in one location (the river) for the majority of the film. I would’ve loved if the movie had like a horror type adventure feel with just Sandra Bullock and the two kids surviving out in the open world wild. But instead we get the “survivors get holed up in one location cliched plot with them getting killed off one by one.”

I probably don’t need to explain the plot to you because you’ve probably already seen this film and are just wondering what I think because I’m very critical of movies. But in case you haven’t been on social media this whole week, the movie is about these creatures (which go unseen the entire film, one of the few things the movie does correctly) that if you look at them, you kill yourself. Sandra Bullock is a pregnant woman whose man left her and as she leaves the hospital, what started out in Russia and Europe starts happening in the states. She gets holed up in a house full of other survivors, just trying to survive. However, in one of the very first things the movie gets wrong is that what I just described to you has already happened in the movie, and the film actually starts with Bullock and two kids (one of the presumably hers) in the present, escaping into a row boat and going down river. Revealing that bullshit, instead of just going chronologically like the movie should have done, took out about 90% of the tension that the past had going for it, because we know that probably the other survivors introduced to us either leave or kill themselves.

And the holed up in one location plot line would’ve been forgivable if the movie didn’t do the one major thing wrong that completely fucked up the entire film and doesn’t make me want to read the novel: the evil human element. Why do we have to have evil humans in every single creature feature that is brought to the public? (A Quiet Place doesn’t do this, which is why it is in my top ten list of films in 2018) Why can’t it just be the creatures? I’ll tell you why. It is because when you have survivors holed up in one location with all the windows blocked out and for some reason the creatures can’t just break into places (seriously, they have the power to make you kill yourself but can’t just attack things and get inside a fucking house?), you write yourself right into a fucking hole. And the only way to dig yourself out, is to get something into the house that will force the other survivors to look at the creatures, and that means writing in humans that can look at the creatures and not kill themselves, but instead become evil humans seduced by the creatures power. It’s a stupid way to write yourself out of the whole, especially when I myself have thought of a dozen ways to move the plot forward without writing in a evil human antagonist element.

And I’m sorry but Sandra Bullock is completely flat in this. Either she thought that was what the character should be or someone told her while shooting that this was going straight to Netflix. It just seemed like she was annoyed to be there. Maybe that’s just me. In fact the only decent acting came from Danielle Campbell, who I can’t believe is in this considering I just watched Dumplin’ yesterday. She’s pretty good in this, even though her screentime is limited. It seems like they were maybe filming this across the street and asked her to play this bit part. But she pulled it off. And Sarah Paulson’s five minute “I’m just in this briefly for shock value” part in this was an insult.

There are also a lot of laughable parts in this. The CGI birds at the very end of the film. The fact that two characters that are both pregnant go into labor at the exact same time. The evil human element. I was laughing when I should’ve been feeling tension throughout the whole thing. It’s not exactly a terrible movie. It’s just meh. There were much much worse films I’ve seen this year dealing with creatures **coughFallenKingdomcough** It is what I’d like to call “Netflix passable.” Kind of like Cloverfield Paradox was “Netflix passable.” Definitely not as shitty as any Adam Sandler Netflix original, but definitely not as good as something like Roma or Dumplin’. Bird Box definitely made me feel like I had the “Frozen effect,” people hooting and hollering about a film that I watch after the hype and I feel that the whole thing was just meh. With a smarter script, better acting, better direction, better everything, this could’ve been a cool theatrical experience. But in some ways, I wish I was wearing a blind fold myself for about an hour out of this two hour film.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK

Barry Jenkins is killing it. In a good way. Anyone that is anyone knows this. Moonlight shocked people several years ago when it surprisingly still won Best Picture over La La Land and Jenkins won an Academy Award for Best Screenplay, on his first theatrical feature. So now we have his follow up, IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK, and while don’t get me wrong, I still found it very good, I didn’t find it in the same ballpark of greatness that I found Moonlight, and that was only due to what I felt was one major misstep that I’ll get to later.

If Beale Street Could Talk is about a young African American woman that lives in Harlem that reveals to her family that she is pregnant with the baby of her lifelong friend turned fiance, who happens to be in jail of a rape crime that he did not commit. Her and her family try to prove his innocence and get him out of jail before she has the baby. It’s a very well told story. The movie goes back and forth in time, and focuses on the blooming love between the two rather than just showing the inciting incident and its aftermath. We get to know the characters very well and most of the emotions are earned.

I loved the fact that they didn’t show the actual rape being committed to a poor Puerto Rican woman, and I loved the fact they didn’t show the event of him being arrested for it, the woman picking him out of a line up, etc, etc. Any other movie would do that. Not showing the audience that cliched storytelling device, and just lightly telling us a summary of what happened, while still showing and focusing on the love between the two protagonists, is the smartest thing writer/director Barry Jenkins did with this. It makes me want to go and read the book and see what that was done differently. I know in my reviews that I have a tendency to complain when movie just tell us instead of show us. But this is an exception. The movie shows us the love blossoming between the two lovers which in a way shows us their plight without actually having to show us in graphic detail how that plight started.

The one thing that keeps this movie from entering my top 20 films of the year list and me proclaiming it was a masterpiece and that it is as good or better than Moonlight, is the acting. Except for the incredible Regina King, which for all intents and purposes I’d say just hand her the Supporting Actress Oscar right now, the acting is a little too over the top and melodramatic. Well, sort of. Let me explain. I think the main protagonist woman, Tish, played by KiKi Layne, was miscast. She plays the very young innocent woman thing wayyyy too over the top and melodramatic that I felt in the end her character was one dimensional. The most melodramatic scene in the movie, which should’ve been the most realistic and powerful, is when she tells her family and her fiances family that she is pregnant. And the mother of the jailed son is so over the top Bible preaching type woman that it took me out of the movie the entire scene and I struggled for a few minutes getting back into it. The only reason I got back into the movie was Regina King. She is THAT good in this.

At first I thought the jailed son, Fonny, played by Stephan James, was overdramatic and one dimensional, but his character has the most growth and an actual arc, especially after this incredible long conversation about the evils of white people with his friend, played by Brian Tyree Henry, who confesses that he had been in jail the past two years and can’t speak of what happened to him in there (sorry, forgot to mention the movie goes back and forth in time, and it does that perfectly well and it isn’t scatterbrained at all).

And I thought the ending was quite perfect too, considering the movie is set in the late 60s/early 70s. The movies underlying message evolves throughout the whole runtime, with the ending packing one hell of an emotional punch. If you see this and don’t like the ending, consider the time it is at. Actually, I think the ending could work in our times today (which was probably the damn point, duh).

Anyway, I still really do like this film. I really do. I love Regina King in it, I can’t sing her praises enough. And the convo between Stephen James and Brian Tyree Henry I won’t be able to get out of my head. But most of the other acting was too over the top, melodramatic, and not realistic enough for me to take seriously. It felt like I was watching a play (which if it were the acting would’ve been fantastic) and not a theatrical feature. Maybe the book presents it like a play and after I read it I could re examine the whole film? Maybe. But I’m reviewing this with my own personal taste and it is just how I felt. Maybe you’ll feel different and think I’m insane for not putting it in my top ten. But hear me out, it is a really good movie, just a few things, just on my end, that kept it from me considering it a masterpiece. I’m still highly recommending it.