Zach’s Zany TV Binge Watchin’ Reviews: A.P. BIO SEASON 3 (PEACOCK)

Prepare for a crap ton of reviews today because I am behind. First up is A.P. BIO SEASON 3, and the only reason I am reviewing these quick and funny eight episodes is because I signed up for a month of the new Peacock app for basically $1.99 after cash back, and my main goal is that I wanted to finish this series. Because I do not think it will be back for a Season 4. Not to say that it isn’t a good show, because it is, but because it isn’t a GREAT show. And it’s ratings weren’t that great in the first place. It’s a shame because I think the show was finally starting to find its groove, kind of like Seinfeld Season 2 and 3 back in the day. I wasn’t a fan of the show until about the last couple of episodes in season one and then the second half of season two (both seasons had 13 episodes each). Some people said that they like A.P. Bio more than they do It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (Glenn Howerton is in both series) and I took offense to that because there is NO GOD DAMN WAY this show is funnier than It’s Always Sunny. Just look at the statistics. It’s Always Sunny is going on to its fifteenth season, and A.P. Bio was at first cancelled but then the new and already failing Peacock app brought it back for an exclusive third. I was more offended by the fact that A.P. Bio Season 1 took away Glenn Howerton for a bit from It’s Always Sunny, resulting in Sunny’s worst season because the character of Dennis (my favorite) was barely in it. So when people tell me, A.P. Bio might not be funnier or better than It’s Always Sunny as a whole, it is better than several of It’s Always Sunny’s seasons…no shit Sherlock, it’s only better than the couple of seasons Glenn Howerton is almost nowhere to be found. Let’s get back to the basics though. I do not hate A.P. Bio, in fact, I do kind of like it, especially the latter half of Season 2 where they get Glenn Howerton’s character a cool and sweet girlfriend that has a satisfying story arc, and I really liked these eight new Season 3 episodes (except for a couple of minor nitpicks). In fact, I think these eight episodes were better than the entirety of Season 1 and first half of Season 2 combined.

What’s even more frustrating is that there was supposed to be 10 episodes this season but of course COVID-19 fucked everything up, and even though the show would end up leaving on a high note for me with the “Katie Holmes Day” fucking hilarious episode, I think the last 2 episodes could’ve expanded even more off that potential, and possibly those last two episodes could’ve made a great case for a season 4 to happen. I don’t have any insider information, but I do not think that they are going to be allowed to go and finish those other two episodes and I also think that with all the damn renewal reversals of television shows recently because of COVID-19 (like Netflix’s Glow), I think this will be on the new Peacock app’s chopping block, but don’t quote me on that, and I hope I’m wrong. If you live comfortably in your ignorant sports bubble, A.P. Bio is described by IMDB with the following: “A former philosophy professor who takes a job teaching AP biology, uses his students to get back at the people in his life who have wronged him.” Glenn Howerton plays that philosophy professor and he’s not quite Dennis because his character Jack actually learns lessons from his misdoings and has somewhat of a heart at the end of each episode. I thank God it’s not a retread of Sunny. What mostly didn’t work for most of the first season and some of the second for me was the sadistic, dry, revenge humor. Dry humor in general makes or breaks me. It’s got to be smart and it seemed like at the beginning of the show it was just juvenile and sloppily written. But again, that’s just me. I think, after watching these eight episodes, I should go back and give the first season and a half another try. It’s possible that I just warmed up to the humor and/or started reading in between the lines of the jokes and understanding them better. In essence, I’m saying that if you are a huge fan of A.P. Bio already, well, you are in for a treat for season 3, and if you are kind of lackluster on the series as a whole, since there are only about 34 half hour episodes total, I would encourage you to give it another shot.

I have also started warming up to all the other characters, mainly the students and Patton Oswalt. I do not really much care for, and still don’t, for the three other main women teacher’s that Howerton interacts with and I really still don’t care for and actually kind of hate Paula Pell’s character, the principal’s assistant, Helen. The three other main women teacher’s seem like they have nothing to fucking do and while I laughed at their shenanigans the very final episode of Season 3, which deals with a 55 inch big screen television donation mix up, I thought they have been completely useless time wasters the other 33 episodes. I thank God Paula Pell’s cliffhanger story arc at the end of season two was resolved quickly in the first episode of season three, because if she would’ve been in the class with Howerton and the other students the entirety of these eight new episodes I would’ve gouged my fucking eyes out. She is so fucking annoying and unfunny to me. I think the show knew that they couldn’t have her there that long too and works better with Patton Oswalt’s character, so even though they probably at first meant for her to join Howerton’s classroom for the long haul, they just couldn’t come up with enough material for it to stay that way. The kids’ personalities, while dull in Season 1, picked up great in Season 2, and were just starting to become masterful in Season Three for me, especially Heather, who is played to perfection by Allisyn Snyder. The show’s highlights are definitely whenever Jack interacts with them and whose adventures co-align with theirs. Jack and Heather have one of the series best episodes when they try and outsmart a writer, played by Jon Lovitz, that is getting Jack to ghost write one of his big so that Jack’s book can get published. Whenever Jack and the kids are together, that’s when the show is pure magic.

So let me get quickly to my very minor complaints before I wrap this review up, because it’s getting a little too long. The season three finale doesn’t feel like a finale, even though it is a hilarious episode, but we can blame our buttfucking government and China’s buttfucking government for the way they handled COVID-19 for that. Paula Pell’s character is still so fucking annoying and stupid that she seemed even more annoying and stupid this season because I think she had more screen time than she’s ever had here. I don’t know why I hate her character so much, don’t ask. And then Jack’s love interest, Lynette, first introduced in Season Two and who completely stole that season out from everyone, is barely in this season. Her quirky yet down to Earth personality matched very well with Howerton’s, and their ‘will they are won’t they’ arc in the second season was some of the best romantic half hours of television in 2018/2019. She is in about half of these episodes but those appearances are a bit fleeting. I don’t know whether actress Elizabeth Alderfer wasn’t available or not, but it was disappointing that she didn’t partake in it more. I can only be happy with the fact that the writers didn’t just take the easy way out and have her break up with Jack, but that they are still happy and are still together and she’s just off doing other things. Maybe if we get a Season 4 we can get her in it more. The show is created by Mike O’Brien, who was a featured player on Saturday Night Live for a bit, and I couldn’t stand his humor on that series…whose humor was more miss than hit anyway. While it was just his SNL dry schlock in the first season and a half, I feel like it has transformed into something more…something smarter, and if the series would be given the green light with more seasons, I think it could end up schooling me in what a great television comedy could be.

Zach’s Zany TV Binge Watchin’ Reviews: THE UNICORN SEASON 1

My wife Diane and I just happened to come upon THE UNICORN SEASON 1 while perusing Netflix a week or two ago. This show is originally on CBS, and we do not have cable nor are we signed up for CBS All Access, although my father had mentioned that he and my mother watched and enjoyed it when they had CBS’s streaming service for free for a month back in June. We ended up pressing play based on that recommendation and also due to the fact that my wife and I are huge fans of anything Walton Goggins. If you don’t know who he is, it’s a real shame, but I’m sure that you do. He was one of Vic Mackey’s crew in the series The Shield, and he was also the main antagonist throughout the series of Justified and Vice Principals. He’s also been a supporting player in movies such as Shanghai Noon, The Hateful Eight, Tomb Raider, Ant-Man And The Wasp, Predators, Maze Runner, Words On Bathroom Walls, the list goes on and on, as he’s had a hell of a lucrative career. And to me, he’s an incredible actor that needs to win an Emmy or Oscar sometime in his career. He has yet to be the leading man in a movie though, but at least CBS is finally taking a chance with him as one on The Unicorn. And while this show is a typical sitcom that IMDB describes with the following, “A widower is eager to move on from the most difficult year of his life, only to realize he’s utterly unprepared to raise his two daughters on his own and equally unprepared for the dating world where he’s suddenly a hot commodity,” he makes the show rise above it’s done before premise and churns out very funny and endearing half hour episodes. The first season just ended a couple of months ago and it has been renewed for a second, which is due to film and premiere who knows when because of the asshole that is this country and COVID-19. But I very much am looking forward to it, and maybe we even wait for the episodes to hit a streaming service I do have, as this is a fantastic binge-able series.

A unicorn to a lot of women are men who are straight, attractive, single, monogamous, funny, employed, communicative, caring and interested in her. Walton Goggins character, Wade Felton, is the perfect example of one. He’s even more sought after because he is a widower and not a divorcee. The sitcom has a great supporting cast of characters, two other families that all became friends awhile ago because of Wade’s wife. They consist of known faces such as Rob Corddry, Maya Lynn Robinson, Michaela Watkins, and Omar Benson Miller, and in each episode they each have their side B and C plots that correlate and sometimes intertwine with Wade’s A plot. Thankfully, the show isn’t a multi camera sitcom and doesn’t have a laugh track, which proves that it is confident in its ability to make its audience laugh, which it does. Walton Goggins and co. provide a lot of laughs throughout the first seasons’s 18 episode run. The only thing I was disappointed in involving the show was a stronger season ender (I did my research and am pretty sure they got done filming before coronavirus hit). Yeah, they do a full circle character arc wise and they all reflect on how they have done the past year with the anniversary of Wade’s wife’s death and they all deal with Grace’s, one of Wade’s two kids, dance and there is a potential mystery woman that Wade meets up with and hopes to see again, but usually sitcom’s pack more of a punch with a bigger cliffhanger, especially in a premiere season. But that’s just me trying to find something to complain about as no television show is ever perfect or has the perfect season (Except maybe Breaking Bad). The creators of the show are also the creators of such classics like 3rd Rock From The Sun and Grounded For Life, so they know they’re comedy shit, even if they had misfires such as Cavemen. If you are reading this, don’t have anything to watch, and wanted something light and very funny to pass some time binge-ing wise, then you definitely should not miss The Unicorn. Can’t wait for Season 2 and hopefully it doesn’t get a renewal reversal because of Cunt Covid.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: MOST DANGEROUS GAME (Quibi)

Unlike the shit show last night during the debate, Quibi’s MOST DANGEROUS GAME is certainly not a shit show. In fact, it takes The Stranger’s place as being my favorite thing I’ve watched on this quirky little app to date. I’m starting to come around on Quibi as I’m finding more and more things on there that peak my interest. Thank God it’s free or I never would’ve discovered it. And no, I’m not a fucking shill, it’s just that all three webisode series I’ve watched, I’ve been constantly entertained, even when the content was only okay (The Fugitive). Sometimes much more entertaining than a lot of the stuff Netflix just sputters out every day. Yes, yet again I’m reviewing this as a movie than a webisode TV series. Especially Most Dangerous Game, as it is easily the best shot, best looking, best acted, and most cinematic of the three that I’ve blazed through. It has a fantastic performance by Christoph Waltz, who was nominated for a supporting Emmy for this (when doesn’t he get nominated though?), and probably the best performance of Liam Hemsworth’s career, yes, he can do more than just look wooden during The Hunger Games (even though this is similar to those movies, kind of, he even cries in this and is believable!). I was unbelievably entertained by this and would even watch it again down the line, presuming that Quibi is still here in six months and my free subscription doesn’t completely go to waste.

I’m not telling you to get Quibi to watch this shit, I’m just saying if you happen to have it, you might want to give these webisodes a shot. Most Dangerous Game is basically a modern version of The Most Dangerous Game with several twists. Per IMDB, it describes these webisodes as: “Desperate to take care of his pregnant wife before a terminal illness can take his life, Dodge Maynard accepts an offer to participate in a deadly game where he soon discovers that he’s not the hunter – but the prey.” He has to survive a full 24 hours, stay in Detroit, and follow a whole list of rules that could get him disqualified. Money is deposited into his bank account every hour, and if he survives the whole night, he gets 24.5 million. If this were a movie that actually debuted in theaters, it would’ve been a wonderful little treat. And not that expensive as well. For as low budget as these Quibi webisodes are…they are wonderfully cinematic in scope sometimes (not so much The Fugitive). They all play out like a very enjoyable 90 minute to 2 hr film when put all together. Maybe if Quibi is sold whoever buys it up will release them as films? That remains to be seen. But this one was a true winner. It was tense as fuck, the action was half way decent, the acting was serious yet fun, and it was also fun trying to identify the 5 hunters after Hemsworth, even though they were easily identifiable.

Christoph Waltz is in this much more than you would think and while we’ve seen him excellently play a villain and excellently play a sympathetic character (he won Oscars for both), here we get to see him play a morally grey one, which he of course pulls off in spades. Everybody here seemed like they wanted to be in this, and not just for a paycheck. The 5 hunters, who I won’t spoil who they are but one or two of them might have a recognizable face to you, are quirky yet dangerous. I really enjoyed the big warehouse climax yet also enjoyed the smaller and more intimate moments. Sarah Gadon, who plays Hemsworth’s wife in this, isn’t just a ignorant character, but actually goes about to try and find her husband in the correct ways once he disappears. It’s just a well made tight thriller, the only thing hampering it from its true potential are ad breaks and the cuts to black after each ‘webisode.’ This one was also created by Nick Santora, who did The Fugitive (review was posted yesterday), but you could tell his heart was more into this one, as it shows in the meticulous quality of the production. I would like to see more of these “hunt” games with Christoph Waltz coming back to play the host, but let’s face it, Quibi’s in trouble and there probably won’t be any follow ups to this. But maybe that is a good thing as more of the same could screw up the charm that this one has. It’s sad that the most dangerous game for Quibi is getting more subscribers…but you can’t win them all. At least it has a winner or two on the inside.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: THE FUGITIVE (Quibi)

Yet another Quibi mini webisode television series that if put all together would be a 90 minute to 2 hr movie (closer to 1 hr 45 here). So that means yet another review from me treating it as a movie and not a webisode series. I didn’t think I’d watch anything else on my free 6 month subscription, however I forgot about this little remake that stars Kiefer Sutherland basically playing a toned down Jack Bauer with an in and out southern accent. Which is kind of funny because most of this plays out in real time. It’s like Quibi almost got the rights to 24, but then it slipped through their fingers at the last minute (evidence of this later)? But the real question should be: Do we honestly need yet ANOTHER iteration of The Fugitive? I mean, if you popped the Harrison Ford and Tommy Lee Jones classic into your media player nowadays it still holds up tremendously (it was rightfully nominated for Best Picture as well back in 1993). And didn’t we have a remake tv series not too long ago that stumbled and fell right out of the gate? So why again? Because Quibi needed some kind of content and everyone is out of original ideas? That’s probably always going to be my go to answer for the rest of 2020: that everyone is out of original ideas but when Christopher Nolan comes along and makes a unique blockbuster spy adventure everyone is scared to go to a theater because of a dumb virus that 99% of the world’s population survives even if exposed to said virus. Pfffft. This remake remake remake shit is all on some of you cowards (ranting again I know, I’m just passionate about movie theaters).

Anyway, is this reiteration of The Fugitive any good? Kind of. Yes and no. Do the mini webisodes with constant ads, starts and stops, stop it from being decently good? Absolutely. Does calling this ‘The Fugitive also stop it from being decently good? Abso-fucking-lutely. If this were a movie with no stops and recurring ads of any kind, it would be a very decent one time watch. Other than that it is entirely forgettable, The Stranger on the same service being more worth your time (I reviewed that last week). I guess you could call this go around more relatable to our times as both Kiefer Sutherland’s police squad and the news rush to conclusions and put out ‘fake’ news about our main protagonists character, instead of taking a breather to analyse all the facts. Per IMDB, it describes this The Fugitive iteration as: “With the city in a state of panic and misinformation traveling at the speed of social media, Mike’s life and family hang in the balance as he becomes – The Fugitive.” The city of Los Angeles is in a state of panic because a bomb just exploded in the rail system, and cameras happened to record this Mike character on his phone in a black hoodie while exiting (the real bomber is wearing a black hoodie just like his coincidentally). The reason they jump to this Mike so fast is because he got out of jail 6 months ago because he was involved in a DUI accident that left two people dead…but of course the movie reveals all is not what it seems. This was just so that Mike can be a very, very innocent character everyone can relate to. You can’t have any dark spots character guy, it’s either you are completely innocent after 2017 #MeToo or you are guilty for life! Boyd Holbrook (Logan, The Predator) does his best as Mike, the totally innocent man on the run, but I mean, how hard is it to look exasperated and talk in frantic tones while you are running?

What we really need to talk about here is my theory that this was supposed to be a 24 sequel/prequel but Quibi couldn’t get the rights. Kiefer Sutherland’s character works for the CTB here, Counter Terrorist Bureau, instead of the Counter Terrorist Unit, which was what it was called on the program he is most famous for. He yells the way Jack Bauer does when stressed here, but add on more realistic curse words and a comes-and-goes southern accent just so that Fox/Disney wouldn’t sue. Most of the events play out in real time. His wife in this is said to have been killed in the terrorist attacks of 9/11…Teri Bauer was killed at the end of season one of 24 by a terrorist, which coincidentally, the show premiered in 2001. The director of this entire series, Stephen Hopkins, was executive producer and even directed episodes of…you guessed it…24. The numbers add up. I just ended up pretending he was Jack Bauer and that he had somehow escaped his capture from Russia, headed back to the US under a different guise or went into witness protection and somehow still got a job working for the new organization CTB that rose from the ashes of CTU. The only thing that was really missing here was a mole, ha! (inside TV series joke). If they had gotten the right this could’ve been called 24: Fugitive or something like that. Anyway, the acting is fine for what it is, and this movie/webisode show somehow didn’t just keep hitting you over the head with fake news/police incompetence messages, it was more subtle than just yelling in your face of how and why this show is timely. And anything that has Glenn Howerton, Dennis from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, in it gets a pass in my book, especially if he isn’t playing his character from his show. Which he wasn’t.

You get your cheese-y one liners here, Jack Bauer…err I mean, Kiefer’s characters has this whole dorky thing of getting his fellow officers below him to say, “Copy, sir!” which in turn, too many times to be honest, he replies with, “Music to my ears.” The action and running are fine for what it is, the direction is adequate, and to be honest, I was entertained for the short 14, 7 to 9 minute, “webisodes.” This would’ve worked better as a television movie no doubt. Other than calling this show The Fugitive, my one other complaint is that it seems like the real villain comes off as really stupid all at once, as Mike puts together what he saw when trying to help victims after the bombing before he was chased off by the police, combined with the fact that the villain stupidly reveals himself to Mike when if he would’ve just stayed silent it he would’ve gotten away with it. And then at one point Mike leads the cops to the real villain’s house and the evidence of the bombing is just laid out all on the table. A little too many plot conveniences just to move the story along wouldn’t you say? But hey, people get caught all the time for stupid shit that they do in the real world so who am I to say? None of this surprises me seeing as the main writer and creator of this revitalization is Nick Santora, who is executive producer and writer on other plot convenience shows (yet I still watched them and love them still to this day) such as Prison Break, Vegas, Law & Order, and Breakout Kings. He’s just going by formula and when a paycheck comes your way once you get that formula still going like clockwork, can you really blame the guy? So, before I’m caught ranting again, I’ll run out of this review by saying this is a half way decent entertaining one time watch, but forgettable as convicted small time con artists.

Zach’s Zany TV Binge Watchin’ Reviews: JURASSIC WORLD – CAMP CRETACEOUS

How…in the Jurassic Park…can a young adult animated television show be better than the 3rd movie in the original trilogy and the abysmal Fallen Kingdom of the new trilogy? How? I mean, the first several episodes of JURASSIC WORLD: CAMP CRETACEOUS have kind of a “we’ve seen it all before” meh set up…yet still surprisingly serviceable…yet once it hits that halfway point, the story really takes off. And once you realize that this show is actually canon and takes place a little before, mostly during, and a little after the first Jurassic World, somehow…this show found a way…to become masterful. Especially episodes 4 – 8 and especially especially the last 3. THIS should’ve been the live action 2 to 2 and a half hour SIDEQUEL we should’ve gotten in 2018, and not the awful, just awful Fallen Kingdom sequel that became so dumb and stupid during the 2nd half, with that dinosaurs run amok in a mansion subplot, that I wanted a Velociraptor to gouge my eyes out with that foot toe claw of theirs. And this show isn’t really for kids, kids, people die and get eaten (mostly off screen though, they aren’t that bold with a YA show), and I even thought some parts had quite the ramp-ed up tension and were a little scary for some. We watched all 8 episodes in a day. I loved it, my wife loved it, and my little boy loved it, so I thought I’d do a little review for you all since it is something great that is streaming that can pass a little bit of time by. Especially when you aren’t watching your favorite sports team lose in what I wouldn’t count as a real championship even if they did win because of all the factors that are being attributed to this blurry and confusing year.

**WARNING: GIANT RANT OF ME SHITTING ON SPORTS** Yeah, that’s right. I hate sports right now and I’m going to stand on my shoe box for a moment or two to scream out my frustrations. You all need to get out of your fucking shells and go and see something in the theater. It doesn’t even need to be Tenet, just support your local theater so I…errr I mean we, can get our new blockbusters back and ready to roll with no more bullshit fear mongering delays. I, and many others, are burnt out of this fucking virus, and in my opinion, it isn’t fair that you little sports freaks are still getting new games to watch every week. The numbers of positive cases have to be skewed at this point. Whether it is democrats trying to fear monger until the election for votes against Trump or republicans for some other agenda, this virus went completely political since week 1 and I’m tired of fucking hearing about it. I’m tired of the pointing fingers. The ones that are still gung-ho about not leaving their bubble, I’m tired of hearing that you get to watch your fucking sports in the comfort of your own home. I don’t give a shit if you can’t physically go to the games, you are still getting new shit to watch and, when you win, good new shit to watch. So in the meantime I refuse to watch or be in the same room where sports are being viewed by your morons that feel “safe” and secure at home. Go out, wear a mask, physically distance, and see a movie. These theaters aren’t God damn petri dishes where you are guaranteed to get the virus. They have good ventilation with fantastic air filters and wonderful cleaning protocols. Fuck you sports and leave your home assholes. **END OF GIANT SPORTS SUCK MY ASSHOLE RANT**

**slaps my own face** Where were we? Ah yes, this wonderful little 8 episode Jurassic World tv show. Yeah, it’s pretty damn good. Per IMDB, the show is described as follows: “Six teens attending an adventure camp on the opposite side of Isla Nublar must band together to survive when dinosaurs wreak havoc on the island.” The animation is solid, the voice casting is superb, and it even has emotional and investing side plots that are more than just running away from dinosaurs and trying to survive. The main protagonist, Darius, has flashbacks to when he was wanting to visit the park when it eventually opened with his Dad, who was on his deathbed with cancer and one of the other teens may or not be working for a rival company to InGen. The first one made me shed a couple of tears and I found the second to be an interesting twist I didn’t see coming. I even tried to predict a conventional ending, seeing as this took place during and would end just a little bit after the first Jurassic World movie, but the show again surprises by being unconventional and warranting what I’m sure will be a green lit season 2, seeing as this has been in the top ten Netflix list ever since all episodes were available starting September 18th. I mentioned earlier how this should’ve been the live action SIDE-quel (meaning it takes place during the events of the first film but still was released after it) and not Fallen Kingdom. I stand by that statement.Look, I know that the filmmakers don’t want to get rid of the star power of Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard, but sometimes, creatively, you need to look elsewhere or otherwise you are just going end up with the same old shit, and if it isn’t the same old shit, it might be some weird new shit that people will find too…awkward (aka the whole second half of that movie).

But this should be something to tide us all over nicely until we get to the third movie that is expected to come out next summer (crossing fingers, fuck you COVID). The ending action scene is quite simple and compact, it takes place inside a closed dock tunnel. And it actually made me say “whoa” a couple of times to the places it went. Two episodes before that, the movie takes a breather for character development and has the teens talk on a monorail for a bit (followed by a harrowing, emotional, and riveting action sequence of course). I was quite surprised by this development…as I figure a lot young adults have ADD and sometimes for them, it just has to be “action now now now, and lots of it or I’ll get bored.” Clearly these show runners were wanting something more. Or it could just be the fact that I heard that Steven Spielberg himself was creatively in the development for this show more than he normally would’ve been and said it shouldn’t be dumb-ed down and too “kiddie.” Boy I wish he was more hands on with Fallen Kingdom and hope that he is for next year’s Dominion. Any little bit helps and makes a difference it seems. I think everybody involved with this show needs to get some sort big credit. It’s not every day that you make an animated television show that is canon to the live action movies and is better than some of them. This series had me roaring for more, and with several juicy cliffhangers, I think it’s safe to say that the series to be renewed should be a walk in the park for Netflix.