Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: DARK PHOENIX (Major Spoilers)

Answer the question, which is worse? Retelling a story (film wise) that was great to begin with and it results in so-so to terrible results? Or retelling a story (film wise) that was shit to begin with and it results in being even shittier than the first outing? Need more information? The first question for example would be Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn and Star Trek Into Darkness and the second question for example would be X-Men The Last Stand and Dark Phoenix. When given those options, I would say the latter question is definitely, definitely worse. Other than this first paragraph and the last paragraph, my review will contain major, major, major spoilers. Like I will talk about the 20th Century Fox X-Men Franchise as a whole, how the timeline is fucked up, the ending to this movie, the entire outcome of this movie and so on. So if you still want to read my review having not seen this movie, you’ve been warned. But if you want to stop but you want to ultimately know what I think, only read this and the last paragraph, but I’ll leave you with this: DARK PHOENIX is easily the worst X-Men film and one of the most boring experiences I’ve ever had with a superhero comic book movie in general.

Still with me? How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways. Needless to say, Dark Phoenix should never have been made in the first place. X-Men Days Of Future Past was supposed to basically restart the entire timeline and essentially get X-Men The Last Stand and X-Men Origins Wolverine completely erased from canon (and unfortunately erasing from canon the original X-Men, X2, and The Wolverine but that’s another topic for another day). DOFP is a near perfect X-Men Film, with an interesting ending where Mystique supposedly fishes Wolverine out of a body of water instead of William Stryker, hinting that the franchise could go anywhere and tell new stories. Then came the so-so X-Men Apocalypse, co-written by Simon Kinberg who is now the sole person to blame for fucking up this franchise, that while it gave us a new villain with the younger cast of X-Men characters, said “Fuck DOFP’s ending because we don’t know any interesting way to write ourselves out of it,” had Stryker ending up for some reason still getting the Wolverine in their possession because cool cameo because they couldn’t come up with anything new or interesting because lazy.

X-Men Apocalypse isn’t that bad of a movie though. It has some interesting sequences, some good action and a climax that while it has an epic scale feel to it, it is basically everybody standing in one place trying to kill the villain, and ends up feeling anti-climatic. The ending to that film also has a weird thing of Jean Grey getting her Phoenix powers quite early but being able to control them very quickly because reasons, but I digress. My point is that if you want the franchise to end on good terms, after having watched Apocalypse, you could watch Logan (it being the film that has the furthest alternate timeline with events affected by DOFP) and then be done with it. But no, they are ending it with this. And the reason this makes me upset is that they could’ve done any story they wanted to. Bring in different villains, different threats we haven’t seen before and these different threats. That’s what an alternate timeline is supposed to do in movies! But writer/director Simon Kinberg felt bad about his part with the Dark Phoenix plotline in The Last Stand that he felt redoing that story for this was his “apology.” His “apology” is really a “gotcha” moment of Lucy taking away the football right at the last second so Charlie Brown can’t kick it.

So basically, yet again, we are getting a Star Trek Into Darkness type situation. The writer couldn’t come up with anything different, and decided to redo something that didn’t need to be redone. The only difference between Into Darkness and Dark Phoenix is that Into Darkness was at least half way decently entertaining. Dark Phoenix is the most bored I’ve ever been in a superhero comic book film. Yes, that even includes Ang Lee’s Hulk, Elecktra, and the reboot of Fantastic Four (another fault of Simon Kinberg, did 20th Century Fox not learn from that shit?!) At least X-Men Origins and The Last Stand had some entertainment value and they also had Hugh Jackman bringing his A game to very lackluster scripts. Dark Phoenix doesn’t have Hugh Jackman at all and doesn’t pick up at all until the very last re shot third act on the train, and yet even that sequence ends in the ultimate whimper. Sorry, this review is so long, but there is so much more to talk about. Side note: Hans Zimmer so called score that all these critics are saying is the really only good part of the movie, is “meh” at best. It isn’t memorable AT ALL.

Everybody in this movie sucks except for Michael Fassbender as Magneto (who doesn’t show up until the movie is half over and is the least he’s ever been in an X-Men film, YOU DON’T WASTE FASSBENDER…EVER!!!), Tye Sheridan as Cyclops (the movies still don’t know what to do with his character, but at least Sheridan is charismatic and does what he can in the role), and surprisingly Sophie Turner (who was terrible in X-Men Apocalypse but in defense her character wasn’t given much to do). Jennifer Lawrence looks like she wants to shoot herself (like she did in Apocalypse) for even agreeing to be in this movie, and phones it completely in again, making you wish she had the intensity she brought in First Class and DOFP. Thankfully, as the trailers basically spelled out, it kills her 30 minutes into the movie. James McAvoy seems like he is completely somewhere else and is on a lot of painkillers just to get through shooting this thing. Same for Nicholas Hoult. But the one truly wasted actor here is the villain, played by Jessica Chastain. She phones it in as well, not knowing who her character is supposed to be, because frankly, I don’t even think the script knew. It has the least developed villains I have ever seen in a superhero motion picture, and that includes Steppenwolf from Justice League and Drax the Destroyer from Guardians of the Galaxy. They have a two sentence dialogue of their back story, which completely went over my head, as I just didn’t give a shit.

The plot? All over the fucking place. At the beginning of the film the X-Men go off into space with just a few lines of dialogue as to how their jet can make it combined with some duct tape for make shift astronaut suits so they can breathe (I shit you not) to rescue some astronauts whose shuttle has come into contact with some solar flare mass pink thing. Anyway, Jean Grey gets stuck in the doomed shuttle and ends up absorbing this solar flare thing and she just becomes Dark Phoenix. Oh, and some alien villains we never get to know were monitoring this mass this entire time because it destroyed their home world yet they want to absorb it and keep its power as well. Then some shit goes down, Mystique is killed kind of by accident, and character motivations go completely out the window. Magneto is basically living in peace on this secluded piece of land with other mutants with no modern technology, but completely changes his tune and becomes an asshole again with a snap of the fingers just because Mystique is killed, because he “loves” her even though he really just banged her once. At least Fassbender tries and does his best with pulling off that too quick emotional transition fast.

The movie ruins most of all the other characters that were cool well acted in the past films as well. Xavier is painted as a egotistical bad guy for most of the movie, Mystique doesn’t do any awesome physical fighting in this and Lawrence tries to get out of the blue paint again as much as possible, they ruin Beast by having him turn bad with not that much motivation other than Magneto’s. They manage to completely waste Quicksilver. Writer Kinberg knew that Quicksilver was too powerful (just like the writers knew that Captain Marvel was too powerful and she was hardly in Endgame) so instead of doing another shocking moment and killing him off he is just disabled after his brief fight with Jean Grey. His moment at the beginning trying to rescue the astronauts from space was okay but no where near the heights of his sequences in DOFP and Apocalypse. Storm says like 5 lines and just does her lightning thing which all felt wasted. Nightcrawler has a couple of cool action beats but his characterization…wait, what characterization? The only two characters that get a bump up from previous films characterization wise are Cyclops and Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix. Sophie Turner actually does an excellent job here with her acting skills (and one would argue she is better in this than she was in her entire run on Game of Thrones). It was the only time I felt like an actual character was trying to illicit genuine emotions from the audience, even though in the end it ultimately didn’t work because the story completely fell flat.

At the end of the film you have Jean Grey taking Jessica Chastain into space, destroying her, and then just going off into parts unknown as a fiery phoenix symbol. Xavier leaves the school and meets up with Magneto, who offers to take him to a place where he will be accepted and they play another game of chess in France. Beast is now the headmaster of the school and the school’s name is changed from Xavier’s School For Gifted Children into Jean Grey’s School For Gifted Children because even though she killed a bunch of people as the Phoenix, why the hell not for forced story’s emotion sake right? I guess the ending does co-align with what we saw in the changed future in Days of Future Past, but since Disney now has the X-Men you will just have to fill in the gaps instead of getting another story with a proper ending with this cast. In your mind you will have to imagine that Jean Grey comes back to the school and still ends up with Cyclops. Xavier at one point comes back to head the school. The only person we didn’t see in DOFP changed future was Mystique, which was probably why Simon Kinberg killed her off, feeling that it would be “shocking,” even though he couldn’t literally kill anyone else. I don’t know, the whole aging timeline thing was fucked up when Apocalypse was a decade later than DOFP and literally Dark Phoenix’s ending is supposed to be hopeful, but the rest of the movie is a dark, depressing, and damaged mess that you can’t help but feel ultimately let down from a franchise you have been with for 19 years. That’s where my solution of just ignoring this films events and going straight from Apocalypse to Logan comes in. Logan is dark and depressing as well with a very hopeful ending, but at least it was all packaged into a masterpiece of a movie.

And I’ve already said it several times throughout this film. The film is very, very boring. I almost fell asleep several times as my eyes were the heaviest they have been in a long time while watching a movie. There are really only two to three minor action sequences before the big linear train climax and those action sequences were directed and shot really poorly by Simon Kinberg. The worst one being the mid film mini street battle outside a townhouse that Jessica Chastain’s alien character and Jean Grey are staying at. I couldn’t tell what the fuck was going on action wise. The one thing that the final act train sequence does correctly is that it lets Cyclops use the fuck out of his laser blast eyes and it shows Magneto finally going full Wolverine “bezerker” mode and killing a bunch of aliens in the most bad ass way possible that we haven’t seen in other films. Those 5 minutes can easily be watched in a future clip on YouTube.

Before I get to my last concluding paragraph, because I’m tired of being disappointed by this movie, let’s get to whose fault this really is: Simon Kinberg. Sure, he co-wrote Days of Future Past and the first Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey Jr., but you are meaning to tell me that 20th Century Fox was putting their full faith in the guy to redo the Phoenix story that also wrote/co-wrote Jumper, XXX: State of the Union, This Means War, the FANTASTIC FOUR REBOOT AND FUCKED UP THE STORY ONCE ALREADY WITH THE LAST STAND?!? Come on, this guy was showing ALL the warning signs. I guess you can blame the Fox executives as well but I’m just going to write that off as ignorance at trying to polish a turd. A turd that has already avoided being polished a dozen times previously.

Why is my longest review yet at 11 paragraphs long and it is a negative review? Shouldn’t long spoiler filled reviews be about films that you love and just can’t stop talking about? You would think so. But alas, no. It’s just the culmination of the 19 years and 12 films we’ve had in this franchise all coming to an end. It’s been one hell of a roller coaster. When the franchise hit its highs, it REALLY hit its highs, and when it his those mediocre bumps and those terrible terrible lows, well…it really shit the bed didn’t it. It is just kind of depressing to end things this way. I know, I know. We still have one last Fox one when The New Mutants finally decides to do their re-shoots and edited it all into something coherent for April 2020, but given how long that film has been delayed, do you really think it is going to make much of a difference. Also, it doesn’t really contain any sort of continuity with the other X-Men films at all, and in the end I just have a feeling the 13th and final film containing X-Men is going to be at the bottom of the barrel with the worst of them. If 20th Century Fox (now owned by Disney) wanted to recoup some of its money on these disasters it should’ve just released the initial watchable cut of The New Mutants on Hulu this very weekend. Whoever didn’t think of that should be fired. While on the one side it sucks that this series ended with a shitty whimper, on the bright side maybe it is now something that Disney can actually reboot and do something special with WHILE incorporating it into the MCU. My suggestion? Make it have the spirit and panache of the X-Men Animated Series. Oh shit, I just realized, with The New Mutants, they really are ending on 13 films. Really? They are going to end the entire series on an unlucky number? Even if you take away the two Deadpool films, that would make it ending on 11, as in filing a CHAPTER 11. Pffft, figures.

My Ranking of X-Men Films (including Deadpool)

X2
Logan
Days Of Future Past
First Class
Deadpool 2
Deadpool
X-Men
The Wolverine
Apocalypse
The Last Stand
Origins Wolverine
Dark Phoenix

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: ROCKETMAN

ROCKETMAN is a zany, guilty pleasure, new Disney classic for me. It stars Harland Williams as this idiot geek who actually gets his dream comes true and becomes an astronaut and gets to go on the first mission to Mars. Wait a minute, oh shit, wrong movie. Sorry, suddenly I was having good ol’ flashbacks to 1997. No, THIS Rocketman is a hard Rated R musical look at the crazy life of one of the best musicians to ever grace the world, Elton John. As you probably know because its been reported a dozen times, the director of this, Dexter Fletcher, directed the last two weeks of shoots on Bohemian Rhapsody after Bryan Singer went AWOL, so Rocketman is being compared, both fairly and unfairly, to that film. The question on everyone’s mind is, is it better than Bohemian Rhapsody, as reviews on Rotten Tomato, CinemaScore, etc. would allow you to believe? It is, but not by much. However, if you are one of those people that said “fuck the critics” and enjoyed the hell out of Bohemian Rhapsody, then you can basically tell me to fuck off, because you’ll probably love this.

And it’s not like I hated Bohemian Rhapsody. I just thought it was okay, elevated more than it should have been by Rami Malek’s incredible Oscar winning (and well deserved) performance. But just like Bohemian Rhapsody, Rocketman is your standard bio pic fare, only elevated by the fact that it is more of a musical than Rhapsody was, Taron Egerton gives an award worthy performance, and this also dives deeper into the sexuality of Elton John than Rhapsody did with Mercury. But that’s about it. If you seen one rock star/musician/singer bio pic, you’ve seen them all. Even with earlier this year’s The Dirt on Netflix, all of them are Rise To Stardom, Fall From Stardom because of drugs, sex, alcohol or a combination of the three, and then usually Rise Back To Stardom and in the end either that person dies of a tragedy, or they overcome their demons and lived and long and happy rest of their lives. Well, since most of us know that Elton John is still alive, how do you think the ending to this one plays out?

When the movie isn’t a musical, it drags considerably. It starts out well enough, in that it has a bunch of musical song and dance numbers at the beginning, but somewhere in the middle of the film I think the filmmakers forgot it was a musical and tried to turn it into a hardcore drama, and the musical numbers were few and far between, IMO of course. It just didn’t have that balance to make it a great film, and if you are telling a rock bio pic story that has been told a billion times before, you HAVE to be different and you HAVE to have that balance if you are trying to tell a story a different way but at the same time still having that same point A to point B narrative. And the movie has balance, but not enough for me to consider it a great film. The movie does do a good job of putting Elton John’s demons in the forefront of the film, and it explores his homosexuality a great deal more and a great deal better than the PG-13 Bohemian Rhapsody did. However, at one point in his life Elton John got married to a woman, and I thought the film would be a bit longer and delve into that relationship more, but alas, it was over in two seconds, with it just skipping about 5 years later, and not explaining the conflicting details. The movie was only about 2 hours, it could’ve went a little longer in that area to make it tighter.

I promise though, the movie isn’t terrible at all. I liked it well enough and that’s because I love Elton John’s music. They go through most of all of his hits and it was a joy to hear them on screen, much as it was a joy to hear Queen’s music on screen in Bohemian Rhapsody. Taron Egerton also gives a hell of a performance and it is elevated by the fact that he sings all the songs and actually sounds and moves like Elton John. If there is only one reason to see this movie, it is for Taron. While I hope that the movie doesn’t get a best picture nomination at the end of the year, I will be a little sad if Taron is forgotten and not recognized. And when the movie is a musical, all the song and dance numbers are fun and directed very well by Fletcher. It’s the quiet moments that needed a lot more work.

But anyway, seriously, if you loved Bohemian Rhapsody, fuck my luke-warm review. You’ll love Rocketman. It’s definitely better than Rhapsody in that it actually tries to do something a bit different. Uneven, but different. You’ll especially love this film if you love Elton John and his music. Oh shit, I forgot to mention the supporting cast. Richard Madden completely shed his Robb Stark image and was harrowing as Elton John’s dick manager/lover. Bryce Dallas Howard was good, and much better than the Jurassic World movies, as Elton’s mom, but the true standout with Jamie Bell as Elton’s song writing partner Bernie Taupin. Jamie Bell needs to be in more things and if he was possibly nominated for supporting at the end of the year I can see why. Anyway, now that we got three rock biopics within the span of half a year, it’s probably going to be a long long time before we see another one. And you could do worse than this film.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE (NETFLIX)

Thought this was going to be the Rocketman review didn’t you Sarah? Nope, first I want to talk about briefly the new Netflix Original film ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE that released on Netflix this weekend. And I don’t want to talk about it for the reasons you may think. Just to get it out there, the movie is okay. Not great, but not bad. It is your typical rom-com Netflix fare, with not being as terrible as the recent Someone Great, but not being as great as the recent The Perfect Date either. It stars Randall Park and Ali Wong. Randall Park you might know from Fresh Off The Boat, or as Kim Jong Un in The Interview, or even his great cameo in that episode of The Office where he pretended to be Jim to confuse Dwight. Ali Wong is the great stand up comedian who has some great stand up specials on Netflix and other platforms right now. If you really want to laugh and enjoy her in something, I would suggest to watch those specials, because she isn’t as outrageous in this as she is in those.

The set up is quite simple. They were best friends during their childhood growing up for a time, and then after Park’s characters mom tragically dies in an accident while they are in high school, she hits on him and in a vulnerable moment they have sex with each other. Right after they have sex he says some stupid shit and they stop talking and seeing each other for years. They then run into each other again when Park’s father and him end up installing air conditioning at Sasha’s new home. She’s just getting out of a relationship where her fiance dumped her because he never wanted to get married. They start hanging out again and start to develop their friendship and maybe more over a period of time, until they both end up getting someone else. And that’s where we get into the review where I don’t really talk about the rest of their story. Just know that it is cute yet predictable as hell.

If you haven’t watched the trailer to this film, and this sounds interesting to you, just watch it, as you won’t ruin a fantastic cameo that elevates the film from mediocre to actually decent. And if you are reading this I’m about to ruin the cameo so turn away or scroll to the last paragraph to read my final thoughts. **MAJOR SPOILER WARNING** Keanu Reeves shows up as Ali Wong’s beau about halfway into the film. He plays himself, but a hyper realized fictional version of himself where he is a weird self centered asshole that keeps mentioning his movies and career and likes to eat at weird places where you listen to animal sounds on headphones of the meat you are currently consuming (you’ll see). I’ve never thought of Keanu Reeves as a great actor (even though he tries to bring his A game to every role, here is no different) and even though he is completely over-the-top unbelievably cheesy in this, he is the best part of the film. I literally had a huge smile on my face for the 15 total minutes he is on screen and was wishing there was a spin off where he was playing this fictional asshole self of his. I won’t ruin anything else that happens during the meet and greet, but if he brings this insane energy to the next Bill & Ted film, we are in for a treat.

Anyway, there isn’t much else to say about the film. It’s sweet, and cute, yet completely predictable. The title more plays on the song, “Always Be My Baby” than it actually refers to him always being a maybe to be the man in her life, but that’s okay, it’s a unique title. Other than the cameo moments, I really didn’t laugh out loud that often, just chuckled and thought the film had some charming moments. Randall Park and Ali Wong are good and adorable in it though and have great chemistry and some sweet moments. It’s an easy 1 hr and 40 minutes to kill on Netflix if you are trying to waste some time on the weekend. It is neither offensive to watch or make you feel like you waste your time, but it isn’t the greatest end all be all best romantic comedy ever. It just exists, and isn’t harmful, and I guess with Netflix, sometimes that is the best we can hope for.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: GODZILLA KING OF THE MONSTERS (minor spoilers)

As human beings, we literally almost ruin everything. Even movies. Well, more specifically, large destruction and/or monster movies. Filmmakers should know that no matter how many times they try, the human element in these types of films is moot. Yes, I realize that we have to use us for set up to get these giant titans fighting, but once the set up is complete, we should get out of the fucking way and be just bystanders to the spectacle that is about to unfold in front of our eyes. All these recent American made monsters movies (this is the third movie in this American Monster Verse), Godzilla 2014, Kong Skull Island, and I’m even going to stretch my reach and even put Godzilla ’98 in there, all have one big major problem. We just don’t give a shit about the human characters. And you say, “well we just need better writers or hire additional ones to make changes, tighten their story, or do something different.” Eh, I don’t think so. With all these destruction movies, they have literally tried everything human wise. Family drama, long lost loves reunited, bad guys searching for power, military trying to stop the end of the world, these scenarios have been done dozens and dozens of times and haven’t worked. I could go on and on, but needless to say GODZILLA KING OF THE MONSTERS suffers from the human element, and almost drags the movie down into mediocrity.

The keyword in that last sentence is almost. I still was entertained and some of the monster battles and shots are incredible, but I was a bit disappointed by this one. In fact, I’m almost willing to say that Godzilla 2014 and Kong Skull Island were better. And I’m going to get chastised for this, but in some ways, even Godzilla ’98 was more entertaining. But I digress, I need to warn you that I am going to spoil minor things in the movie, mainly about the human element, that almost completely killed this movie. I don’t reveal any deaths or what happens monster battles wise, but I have to throw in some concrete examples in order to get my disappointment across to you. Let’s start off with the actual set up/plot of the movie that instigated just so we could see all these titans wake up and start beating the shit out of each other. Basically Godzilla has been dormant for 5 years….since the last movie, but now that company Monarch, that is studying Godzilla and all these other creatures, have found about 17 more titan/monsters and counting and they are dealing with the government possibly shutting them down and just trying to kill all these creatures while they are hibernating.

Well, Norma Bates, after a tragedy shown at the beginning of the film where her and Coach Taylor lost their oldest son in the 2014 battle in San Francisco, develops this ‘ORCA’ machine that can somehow, whatever few throwaway lines of dialogue can explain it away, mimic the call of other monsters/titans which makes the humans can gain the upper hand on the creatures. She betrays her ex-husband and her only surviving daughter, Eleven, and teams up with Tywin Lannister to release all these monsters, because they both feel the world is overpopulated, and after releasing them the titans will fight, battle to the death, in their wake destroy half of the world, so that way the human race can be cleansed and we would have to start over from scratch. Also, they theorize that in the wake of their destruction, ecosystems will regrow and the Earth will eventually heal itself environment wise. UHHHHHHHHH, AVENGERS INFINITY WAR PLOT ANYONE? So already you have a problem with the plot being another, overpopulation/trying to cleanse the Earth bullshit type narrative we’ve seen a thousand times before. That’s already strike one in making me not care literally about any human being in the film.

Strike two is the dialogue and character choices. All the dialogue is just bland, stupid cliched stuff we’ve heard of before. The family drama is just cloned and replicated garbage that one could argue was just of a clone of boredom left over from the 2014 Godzilla AND Kong Skull Island. Eleven from Stranger Things is taken hostage for most of the movie by Tywin Lannister and his rogue army, but near the end of the film, for script convenience sake, she is able to steal the ‘Orca’ device everyone is circle jerking themselves over and just walk out the front door. I literally laughed out loud when that happened, combined with the fact that she travels pretty far and uses the damn device before anyone realizes she is gone. The film wastes one of my favorite actors right now O’Shea Jackson Jr. (Ice Cube Jr.) in a military role that all he does is shoot a couple of things and say a couple of stupid one liners. Eleven, Norma Bates, Coach Taylor, and Tywin Lannister are all fine, not terrible actors at all in this, it is just the material that makes everything they do dumb and laughable. The only human saving grace in this is Ken Watanabe, a left over from the first film, that has that one scene I wish was in all the Homo Sapien scenes in this movie. You’ll know it when you see it, it is literally the only two minutes in the film where I actually cared about a human being.

Strike three would be having these gorgeous, wonderful shots of Godzilla, Mothra (who is the best damn monster in the whole thing and is VASTLY underused) and other fighting, but then right in the middle, cutting back to the human drama, cutting back to Eleven running with the device and trying not to be hit by debris, cutting back to the human element that I just don’t give a shit about. And like I said before, I get that you need set up, but once the device and freeing the Titans came into play, END THE HUMAN STORY, and just have them sitting on the sidelines, out of danger, watching all these monsters just beat the epic living shit out of each other. It would’ve worked well, I guarantee you that. Combined in my analysis of the movies third strike is the weird way they incapacitated Godzilla for a third of the movie. They basically rip a plot point out of the ’98 Godzilla, and the movie suffered for it. When your movie is called Godzilla King of the Monsters, don’t write something in the script to take him out of it for a third of the movie, that son of a bitch should be in the entire thing.

Now that my three strikes and complaints are out of the way, here are reasons why I still liked and enjoyed what I saw up on the giant action screen. The sound and soundtrack is fucking amazing. They even use the original Godzilla theme for several moments and all the musical cues and sound editing and mixing from the destruction gave me goosebumps the entire time. The cinematography and camera shots are absolutely gorgeous to look at and the CGI seemed pretty tight (although I’d like to see the monsters actually fight during the day, without being hidden by rain, storms, and darkness to see if the CGI still holds up, I have a feeling it wouldn’t). And the monster action and destruction was pretty impressive. Maybe only one or two holy shit moments, but those are one or two holy shit moments more than the 2014 Godzilla and say what you want about the ’98 Godzilla, but the holy shit schlock cheesy moments were through the roof in that movie. Not so much here.

So in the end, am I recommending Godzilla King of the Monsters? Yes. If you can ignore the bullshit human element and love Godzilla movies and want to just see carnage and destruction on a giant, loud, screen…this is definitely the typical summer blockbuster for you. If you are wanting something deep and meaningful, where you actually care about the human characters, I suggest looking far elsewhere. This is writer/director Michael Doughtery’s third film (direction wise), and while I consider it better than Trick Or Treat, it is in no way shape or form gets to the wonderful pedestal that Krampus was put on. He has an eye for destruction, weird little horror demon thing and monster/titan fighting to be sure, but his screenplay talent on human characters leaves much to be desired. And while he isn’t directing Kong Vs. Godzilla (that is already in the can and set to release March 2020) he did still co-write it, and seeing that some of the human cast in this was revealed to be in next year’s movie, doesn’t give me much hope. I have a feeling we will just end up seeing the same thing: Kong and Godzilla going at it in some epic fight sequences, but tied with another boring, cliched human/family/military/rogue story that I still couldn’t give two shits about. Is there no way to just make a Godzilla movie from his point of you and just completely wiping away Earth with no plot and absolutely no point of view from the human beings because we ruin a lot of good shit? That could be fun.

Zach’s Zany TV Binge Reviews: THE TWILIGHT ZONE (2019) Part 5 of 5 – The Blue Scorpion and Blurryman

Two weeks ago I started Part 4 of 5 with a **sigh** but thankfully I’m starting this one with a **whew**. Two weeks ago brought us two of the worst Twilight Zone episodes of not only this revival run, but of all time. They were ham-fisted with over the top social commentary which dragged the episodes into the gutter. I was crossing my fingers that these last two episodes were saved for last because everyone there knew that they were something special and wouldn’t disappoint. And thankfully, they were right. They are the two best episodes right under Replay, my favorite episode this season. Especially the very last episode, which I really can’t tell you anything about, as the trailer for it doesn’t ruin a damn thing. And neither will I. So until next year, let us enter one last time into my review of the reboot of…The Twilight Zone.

The Blue Scorpion

Thankfully, The Blue Scorpion really doesn’t have any kind of social commentary to it. And the episode is very straight forward with an ending I didn’t really expect. All of this worked in its favor. The tale is simple: a man named Jeff (played by the great Chris O’Dowd) inherits a rare and mysterious gun from his father, who had just killed himself with it. A special bullet comes with the gun, and on the bullet a name is inscribed, his own, Jeff. The gun also comes with a set of rules with how to handle it, weird rules, one of which being, don’t ever keep it in darkness as the gun is scared of the dark. Also in the middle of a nasty divorce, Jeff now has to navigate through this hard time in his life with a gun that seems to be speaking to him with Jeff becoming obsessed with it every moment it is in his possession.

Like I said, the story is pretty straightforward, and the episode is brought to life by Chris O’Dowd’s performance, which other than Sanaa Lathan, is probably the best performance in this new run of 10 Zone episodes. He has to display grief, obsession, compassion, fear, any emotion you can think of he goes through it here, and pulls it off in spades. I was also surprised by the end of the episode. I thought for sure I knew what direction it was going to go in, but the episode slapped my face in the end, and went in a completely different, more thought provoking direction. I kind of loved that my expectations were subverted in this instance.

The rest of the episode is pretty great too. I’ve said it a dozen times times, but the one constant great thing in these episode is the cinematography. Every shot is wonderful to look at. This episode felt like it could’ve made a run with the classic Twilight Zone episodes of long ago. It felt like all the pieces of the puzzle were put together with no strain on trying to make pieces fit that wouldn’t. It is definitely an episode I would like to revisit down the line.

Blurryman

I really can’t talk about this episode all that much. I can only describe it by the log line on IMDB.com “A writer is haunted by a mysterious figure.” I can tell you that Seth Rogen and the great Zazie Beetz are in this episode, and I can also tell you that while I was worried about Seth Rogen’s acting at first, the episode pulls the rug out from under you very early in where you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Have I said too much? I don’t think so. The real star of the episode is Zazie Beetz, who other than being in Atlanta and playing Domino in Deadpool 2, is fantastic and needs to be in more things in general.

My third paragraph I’m going to describe how they can make season 2 of The Twilight Zone better, as I don’t know what to say anymore about this episode. I guess I can say the writer of this wrote the so-so episode The Comedian and this is definitely an improvement. This episode was also directed by Simon Kinberg, who next week makes his theatrical directorial debut with Dark Phoenix. He did a pretty good job and everything about the episode looked and felt cool. But yeah, I could tell you to expect the unexpected in this episode but my jaw was almost on the floor and my interest piqued less than 5 minutes into it. The last thing I will say is that if you think you’ve gone meta before in different television shows, this episode brings a whole new meaning to that word. But yeah, I ranked it high on the list of new episodes because Blurryman did something different, which I appreciated. The only thing that took away from it was the horror element that didn’t really work in the middle of the episode.

Anyway, we already know that Twilight Zone has been renewed for a second season. But where do we go from here? Another clue I can give you is the last episode might put a wrench into things…maybe. Whether it is a good wrench or bad wrench remains to be seen. Will they take it in a new direction after certain revelations are brought to light. I do hope that Jordan Peele comes back, and that maybe he even has time to write and direct his own episode. We’ll see…will he come back? That’s a question I hope is answered soon. My advice for season 2? Get better writers. The directors and actors are notch but a lot of the stories and scripts could use some work. Out of ten episodes, only 3 are great, 3 are good, 1 is so-so, and 3 are absolutely terrible. It needs a better batting record, and maybe have no terrible episodes next season. Bringing back a beloved series is always going to have a bumpy start, but with careful consideration and care, it could rise up back to greatness. In The Twilight Zone, anything is possible.

Ranking of Episodes

Replay
The Blue Scorpion
Blurryman
Six Degrees of Freedom
A Visitor
Nightmare at 30,000 Feet
The Comedian
Point of Origin
Not All Men
The Wunderkind

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: BOOKSMART

I don’t want to hear anymore whining. Especially from hypocrites. Could that hypocrite be you? Let’s see. Have you complained recently of Hollywood not having any original ideas for movies anymore? This weekend did you see either Aladdin, a live action remake of what is probably the far superior Disney Classic, or Brightburn, essentially just another superhero/villain origin story that rips off Man of Steel but just sprinkled with some horror elements? Did you see BOOKSMART this weekend or plan to see it while it is still in theaters? If any of your answers end with question #3 being yes, you are okay in my book. If you see remakes yet still go out and support and see original films, congrats, you aren’t a shit eating hypocrite. However…if your answers were, yes, yes, no…youuuuuuuuu can definitely go fuck yourself if you ever find yourself complaining about originality. And no, your answer to #3 cannot be, well, I’ll see it on video but not in theaters….FUUCCCCKKKK YOUUUUUUU.

Booksmart is not a just a rip off of Superbad but with girls, no matter how much it looks like it to you. Superbad, while I still love that movie to death, is a bit over-the-top with its situational comedy, and I will even admit that the script and story has some major problems midway through the film, with some pay offs feeling forced and not being set up very well. In fact, the movie almost grinds to a halt when our main characters end up at that weird redneck like adult party where one of them ends up putting alcohol in Tide Gallon jugs. The set up with that movie is that one guy wants to hook up with one girl, the other guy wants to hook up with a girl, and they think they can score if they bring alcohol to an underage party. Booksmart is so much more than that. Two girls about to graduate find out that while they stuck to the books and didn’t do much socializing, that the same people they thought were losers that socialized too much, are still going to the same colleges as they are. So the two set out to prove that they can be just a socially relevant in those inner circles, and get a little practice so they aren’t sticks in the mud with they eventually go to college.

These two girls are played by the wonderful Kaitlyn Dever and Beanie Feldstein. Oddly enough Ms. Feldstein has a direct connection to Superbad herself, in that she’s Jonah Hill’s real life sister. Kaitlyn Dever has more of a filmography, and while you might know her for her weird loyalty to that awful Last Man Standing show starring Tim Allen, she has raised the roof in her roles on Justified, Detroit, Short Term 12, and Beautiful Boy. Their acting in this is what sets the movie apart from most teen comedies. Actually the acting in general feels more real than most. Booksmart has more than a dash of realism when it come to being compared against Superbad. You have zany characters in both, but in this for example, the motherfucking scene stealing son of a bitch Skyler Gisondo (the teenage love interest and best part of Santa Clarita Diet), while hamming it up in another memorable over-the-top role, has a few down to Earth moments that flesh out the entire movie. It isn’t like Superbad where the cops played by Bill Hader and Seth Rogen are all over-the-top and have absolutely no realistic substance as police officers, not even one little scene featuring a down to Earth moment.

All the ingredients for a great movie are right there, and fortunately for us, the one putting those ingredients together and serving us up an incredible dish is Olivia Wilde, in her directorial debut. Yes, THAT Olivia Wilde. The really really really really really really beautiful actress that has been in a TON of things (just look her up on IMDB), and as you probably know in her social life she is currently with and has kids with SNL alum Jason Sudeikis (who has a small yet, hilarious role in two scenes). What could’ve been just another point and shoot kind of affair, is completely elevated by Olivia Wilde’s stylistic choices and her unique eye for the camera. Her narrative construction for each scene is incredible. For example, there is a point where Kaitlyn Dever’s character swims under the surface of a pool to catch up to her possible love interest in the movie, and the way everything is framed and the music selection tells it’s own unique story in those 20 to 30 seconds that most directors wouldn’t think to do. Also, at one point the two friends are fighting and instead of them just arguing back and forth in a steady shot, Wilde uses the camera to go in and out of each opposing argument and even at one point cuts their argument off with music to play up another dramatic element in their year long friendship. It’s quite exhilarating to see a seasoned actor/actress knock it out of the park stylistically with their directorial debut.

However, on the flip side, it’s infuriating when something as good as this movie gets all the praise, yet gets none of the money it so rightly deserves. Especially when you look at other seasoned actor/actress directorial debuts getting all the money, AND getting all the award attention…for a fucking remake. One that had absolutely no unique eye or any unique narrative choices. I won’t name the movie, but it rhymes with A Scar Is Corn. The director, rhymes with Fadley Pooper, didn’t do anything behind the camera to elevate the material. Anyone could’ve made it. AND THAT IS A BELOVED AWARD CONTENDER?!? Please. Anyway, this movie flows through point A to point B to point C, introducing us to characters (including a fun and zany role played by the late Carrie Fisher’s daughter Billie Lourde) and situations that have great payoffs throughout the entire run time, not just the end. The two leads are focusing on getting to a specific party, but the detours along the away actually make sense and aren’t random due to forced narrative sake.

Anyway, Booksmart is the film you should’ve seen this weekend, not Bad Superman or The Fresh Prince Of ‘Woke; Agrabah. I hope for your sake that you discover it on your own in the next couple of weeks if you can. It is more charming than laugh out loud hilarious like Superbad was, but the several big laughs you get in this, are well earned and will have you laughing for minutes after the joke is already over. And it’s a comedy that has some emotional weight, that actually makes you feel for the characters due to its subjective realism, not telling you to shed a tear because Jonah Hill and Michael Cera happen to have a weird tender moment that wasn’t really earned in the first 2/3rds of the film. Booksmart is script-smart and director-smart, which is what we should be getting nowadays from Hollywood, not the same lame brain live action regurgitated Disney shit.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3 – PARABELLUM

Do I really need to review this film for you? I mean seriously, this review should just say “go see it” and you should want to escape to a theater for a little over two hours with Keanu Reeves. Just like Chapter 2, JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 – PARABELLUM is one of the greatest actions sequels ever made, and probably one of the best action films ever made in general. It is the best of the three (only by a small margin though as I really think Chapter 2 is very special) and completes a rare reverse trilogy for me. A reverse trilogy is that the 3rd is the best, then the second, then the first, and it will remain a rare reverse trilogy until the inevitable 4th one comes out. And if you think it’s a spoiler saying that John Wick doesn’t die in this, you haven’t been paying attention. Like Die Hard, this is now a franchise, and as long as the same people come back, and as long as the movies don’t lose any steam, they are going to make more.

Keanu Reeves (son of a gun is 54 years old) is back as John Wick, the movie continuing mere moments after Chapter 2 left off (one could also argue that Chapter 2 does the same for the first one) where he as a one hour grace period before becoming ‘Excommunicado’ after breaking the assassin Hotel Continental’s rules and killing a newly appointed member of the high table on the grounds. He’s on the run with a $14 million dollar bounty on his head…trying to figure out a way out of all of this. Now if anything of what I said was confusing, then that means you haven’t watched any of the John Wick movies and need to do so now. They are all great films, with Chapter 2 and this being cinematic action masterpieces. I was afraid that with a third film there was no way that it could top the world building and action set pieces from the 2nd. Boy was I wrong.

It not only expands upon the awesome assassin world only hinted at in the first film, and touched a little more in the second, it really comes full circle and fills in almost all of the details (you gotta hold back for the 4th one though, am I right?). I LOVE THIS WORLD. I wish I could see spin off after spin off after spin off with an occasional John Wick original adventure every now and then. It is just that diverse and interesting and I think that the world could even find tune itself to the point of having a giant fictional book about the history of the Wick-verse. The first spin off I’d love to see is a movie with Halle Berry and her dogs. Even though she is in it not as much as I’d like, when she is, she steals the show. Every reservation you have had about her in other recent crappy movies is washed away in this. The film makes it known that she has her own story to tell, and even though I’m not a prequel fan, I would eat it up if they made one.

The action in this is nothing short of masterful. You will be talking about Keanu Reeves using a book to kill somebody and the knife fight, and the horse sequence, and the motorcycle sequence, and the climax sequence for days. You can almost feel each punch and shot done to somebody in any given sequence in your seat. The sound editing and mixing on this is the best I’ve seen since….well, I guess that would be Chapter 2 huh? Some of the sequences had the audience in Alamo Drafthouse screaming giant OOOOOHHHH and AHHHHS, laughing and clapping. It was a pretty unique experience. Everything technical about this film is done so well. I’m going to be a little pissed if the Academy doesn’t give this at least a nomination for Best Cinematography. The cities, the landscapes, look absolutely gorgeous on the big screen.

And then there is Keanu Reeves. While I will even admit his range is limited, at least he is known for characters other than just John Wick (don’t forget, you got Ted and Neo). Also, even with the limited emotional range he tries to bring his A game to EVERY film that he is in. Have you seen the training video they release of him for John Wick? (They just released a Halle Berry one which was awesome too). The guy is deeply compassionate for his craft and it shows. This movie has no stupid shaky cam or any editing tricks to try and pin point all the action. The camera is super steady and relentlessly fluid. All of this make the shots seem cinematically magical. You see that it is Reeves doing most if not all of his stunts and he is pretty fucking impressive ‘beating’ the shit out of people. These movies wouldn’t be this special without him.

While there was one or two action sequences that went on a bit too long, I didn’t really care because I was enjoying each and every second of it. The John Wick films are cinematic experiences you need to see on the big screen before watching on your big screen (hopefully) at home. They are great action films and are better than most of the other action films we get today (not too surprising since most of them are CGI garbage with no more practical effects). These films are better than they have any right to be. Please keep screenwriter Derek Kolstad on (even if he has to share the spotlight like he did in this film) and especially former stunt double for Reeves now director Chad Stahelski. Without those two these movies wouldn’t be what they are. I’m done talking about this masterpiece and would rather discuss it in person with those who know me. I’ll conclude with this ‘duh’ statement: John Wick Chapter 3 – Parabellum is the best film of 2019 so far…and I don’t even know if at this point Tarantino or Skywalker could dethrone it.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: POKEMON – DETECTIVE PIKACHU

“It was WONdurFul!” – Kimberly Finke, 33 about to turn 34 year old enthusiastic kid at heart. She’s grew up with Pokemon though. I did too, but we will get to what I thought of it in a minute. The thing is this, if you know absolutely nothing about Pokemon, then POKEMON: DETECTIVE PIKACHU is going to fly over your head and you are probably not the least bit interested in watching this movie let alone reading my review for it. Not saying you will hate it, you might even find some parts entertaining (Ryan Reynold’s off the cuff jokes), but you just won’t get it. This movie has a specific target audience. Either you know and love Pokemon or you don’t. You will love the movie, or you will think it is okay and ultimately be baffled by it. Me? There are now three solid video game film adaptations of all time. Mortal Kombat, the new Tomb Raider with Alicia Vikander, and now this. But is that really saying much?

Like with the new Tomb Raider, I’m going to say what I said on that here: the video game movie curse isn’t broken quite yet, but its a helluva step in the right direction (and then will take one step back in the fall when Sonic comes out…). The film actually had a decent plot that wasn’t too contrived or one-note or hokey. I just wish it maybe had a few more twists and was a little more in depth was all. But I also realize you can’t do that with a kids film. So I’ll just brush off my complaint aside. If you were to look really, really closely, the film is basically a beat by beat remake of Ace Ventura: When Nature or a Japanese version of Disney’s Zootopia. Everything in this is very, very, very predictable, and when the movie thinks it is about to lose the interest of the young folk in the audience, it literally stands still for five minutes, telling you exactly what happened, so that they catch up to the adults in the audience that have already figured it out.

Let’s take a step back and I’ll tell you my experience with Pokemon. I was there at the start. I had the Gameboy with the Red and Blue versions, traded with friends using that pesky USB cord. Used my info to sync it up with Pokemon Stadium on the N64, watched the first season of the show, but then like Beanie Babies, after maybe about two years of massive hype, I fell out of it due to my age range, and look back on the experience like I do with POGS now: with a smile on my face and good memories in my head, but also asking the question, “what was I thinking?” I knew going into this that there are about 812 Pokemon now (correct me if I’m wrong) and not just 151. I figured though that with a target audience of fans now in their 30s that grew up with them and getting current fans all on the same page, that they would probably stick to the 151 we knew, with just splashes of the others in there as background noise and to teach the older generation on how everything has evolved into something bigger (I was correct). I also went into this really enjoying the trailers and tv spots so far, and loving the look of the Pokemon interacting with people in the real world (take note Sonic creators).

But did I love the movie and think it was WONdurFul? No. But, I thought it was cute, very well made, I was mildly entertained throughout the whole thing, even smiled when stuff came on screen that I recognized. Memberberries for sure. Would the movie have worked without Ryan Reynolds as the voice of Detective Pikachu? Probably not. Even though one would argue that this is basically just Pikapool and a PG rated version of Deadpool, Ryan Reynolds still knocks it out of the park with his voice acting in this. I have a feeling he ad-libbed a shit ton, and that it was so good that they incorporated it into the movie even though it wasn’t in the script. Great decision by the filmmakers. Color me shocked when they threw in a sexual innuendo or two and even a cocaine joke. Subtle enough that young kids won’t get it though thankfully. Ryan Reynolds could make anybody laugh just reading War and Peace or Gone With The Wind on audio book, that’s how great he is.

As for the plot, do I really need to explain it? In a world where there are still a lot Pokemon in the wild yet there are cities where Pokemon and humans live in harmony, a late teen/early 20’s male who used want to be a Pokemon trainer who is now a insurance agent, gets called back into the fray when his father, a police detective that worked with Pokemon, goes missing and is presumed dead. His father’s Pokemon partner, a Pikachu, shows up at his father’s old place, and the two team up to discover what happened. Like I said, it is fairly easy early on to know what is really going on. Too simple for an adult film, but like I said, this is a film made for those in their 30s that grew up on Pokemon, and their children who might be into Pokemon now. My only other qualm other than the predictable plot and the obvious eye rolling 3rd act typical bad guy reveal is that they revolve it around a certain Pokemon that they have relied on too many times for story and plot devices. Surely there is a different Pokemon that could have some elaborate origin story and mystery. I won’t say which Pokemon that is, but it is very obvious which one in the trailer. Pokemon people now need more of a variety if this film spawns a sequel.

I also wanted more Pokemon battles. I know they didn’t really serve the plot other than one or two of sequences, but the few Pokemon battles in this film were very entertaining and well done. The director, Rob Letterman, didn’t go and do Goosebumps 2 for this film, and he very obviously made the right decision. The acting is good for a kids film too, as supporting characters such as the boy, played by Justice Smith, and an investigative reporter he teams up with, played by Kathryn Newton, made their characters believable enough that I was convinced they were actually talking to cute little monsters walking and talking beside them. Their character arcs, everyone’s character arcs, are one note though.

Wow, I’ve talked about this film haven’t I? Let’s get to the end. If you are one of those people that skip to my last paragraph after reading the first and power reading through the rest, I liked it. It wasn’t great, but it was good and is a very, very solid family film that people taking their kids to the theater would enjoy. Or if you are a woman-child at heart like my friend whose quote I mentioned in the first paragraph. But if you have no interest in Pokemon whatsoever, never have, and are completely befuddled on the hype, this film is not for you. Heck, if you are a kid that doesn’t get Pokemon or see what the fuss is about, this film isn’t for you. However, if you know what that hype was and even dipped a toe in it, and if your kids did or do as well, I can’t think of a better film to go to the theater together and spend sometime eating up some decent member berries. I mean it could be worse, you could’ve shared your love of Game of Thrones and have watched this last season together…

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: THE LAST SUMMER (Netflix)

Halston Sage left The Orville because apparently the shooting of this film THE LAST SUMMER, conflicted with her filming schedule of the very popular Fox show, and she decided that this was more important. Or you could believe the highly theorized and sort of proven explanation that what was really going on is that she was banging Writer/Star Seth McFarlane, they had a falling out, and since things were awkward, and he was the lead, Bobs your uncle. Either way, this movie was a completely bad decision on her part (she isn’t even the main, main lead). The first hour or so of this film is actually pretty decent, but then a very coincidental second act twist happens (a really really really dumb and unbelievable twist), and the films falls to all the cliched narrative devices for rom-com-dramedies that you can think of and slips past mediocre into oblivion.

I won’t reveal what that slight twist is, needless to say if you ever end up watching this you’ll know exactly what I meant when it happens. It’s eye roll inducing, very very poor writing just to move the plot along for convenience sake. Before we get to talking about how it completely sinks faster than the Titanic afterward, let’s start with the plot. It’s basically the #MeToo cautionary tale poor man’s version of Can’t Hardly Wait, except instead of stretching it out just one night with a very long party, it’s stretched out a whole summer, the last summer before high school kids go off to college. The main star is Riverdale’s KJ Apa, who is dealing with his iron wrought Dad and basically being forced into going to Columbia, his old man’s old college (She’s All That anyone?). He then runs into a former crush (Maia Mitchell), who is a film student going to a college near him, but she has problems opening up (every rom-com movie ever).

Then you have several more stories all going on at once and intertwined by certain people knowing other certain people. You have the couple (Halston Sage and Jacob Lattimore) that are eventually going to college’s really far away from each other, so they break up at the beginning of summer so they don’t have to deal with even worse heartache at the end of it. They end up finding other people really quickly, but they might not be what they bargained for. You have a girl (played by the wonderful Sosie Bacon, yes, that is Kevin Bacon’s daughter) that is trying to get into a college so she is taking care of a talented child that happens to have a cinema dream diva of a mother. You have a smoking hot looking dude making a sex wish list of girls he’d like to bang by the end of summer. And then you have two nerdy kids that try to make the most of their summer by doing adult things, so they dress up in business suits and go to a bar to try and get served without having to provide and ID, and they both end up with something much more.

Every story wraps up the way you basically think it will. Except for the two nerdy kids, that was an ending I was not expecting at all and glad the movie was able to subvert my expectations on their journey. But everything else is just cliched bullshit mish-mash that you’ve seen in every rom-com dramedy that has come before it. For one, it uses the most simple plot device you could imagine to get people out of their romantic situations so they can be with the person they were meant to be with: cheating. They use the “oh I thought you were special but you were actually cheating on me” card so many times in this film it made my head spin. Why can’t writers come up with a more natural way of splitting up two people with decent chemistry apart other than that one of them cheats on the other? Doesn’t make sense to me.

And then there is the twist with KJ Apa and Maia Mitchell’s plot. It is the most convenient twist I have ever seen come from one these movies in the past decade. I actually exclaimed, “are you seriously fucking kidding me?” when it was revealed. And I should’ve seen it coming too. Well, I kind of did, but was hoping and praying and trying to ignore my prediction thoughts, trying to give the movie the benefit of the doubt that the writers were smarter than that and wouldn’t go in that direction. Nope, they went there. The only saving grace of that twist is that KJ Apa has a dialogue with a different character late into the movie which actually felt real that tried to solve the predicament. Too little too late. My favorite story of the film was easily Sosie Bacon taking care of the younger girl over the summer. Even though that plot is probably the shortest of them all and the most predictable, Bacon’s acting elevates it in a way that it isn’t as bad as it could have been. I wish she was more of a star, she has this natural ability to come across extremely likable and realistic on screen.

The Last Summer isn’t a terrible film per say. The first half is actually decent. It’s just once that twist happens, everything else just falls into place on the cliched board of Hollywood Storytelling 101. It’s really really disappointing, especially when all the performances are good. This film would definitely not have worked in a theater and if it did somehow reach it, wouldn’t have made any money. That’s unfortunately what Netflix has become, the new direct to streaming service of films that nobody really wants to watch or looks forward to. I would recommend it to those just wanting to watching something mindless on a weekend afternoon, but other than that, I have a feeling this one will be another Netflix original lost in the crowd, and it certainly will not be the last one to achieve this status…

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: EXTREMELY WICKED, SHOCKINGLY EVIL, AND VILE (Netflix)

Whether or not you like and enjoy EXTREMELY WICKED, SHOCKINGLY EVIL, AND VILE depends on what kind of movie you are expecting. If you are expecting for Zac Efron to go around and brutally kill women for two hours just to see what made the serial killer tick, you are going to be very, very disappointed. Or if you are smarter, like me, and go into it expecting a deep character study, sort of a personality mystery/thriller, while seeing Zac Efron takes his acting to the next level, then you are in for a treat. I happened to really like this film, and that’s because going into it I knew it didn’t go around just showing how he murdered women and got away with it. I knew that it was going to have kind of a “did he or didn’t he?” mystery vibe (even though we know how it all ends). Combine that narrative with an analysis of how this one deranged psychopath got away with everything because of the way he could talk and convince people (maybe even himself) that he was innocent. As the latter type of movie, it is one helluva character study.

The movie actually only shows one woman abduction and no kills at all. It’s quite bold and brilliant. It is more of a courtroom drama once Bundy actually gets caught near the beginning of the film because of a normal traffic stop, and then it shows how he tries to study up as a lawyer and try to talk his way out of jail time and even the death penalty. He even tries to manipulate his current girlfriend and convince her there is no way that he did those things. Oh, and he escapes from prison several times too. If anyone who didn’t know who the hell Ted Bundy was or didn’t have a clue that this was a real story, the movie could’ve successfully make that audience member confused whether or not he actually he did those unspeakable acts. But since the movie knows none of us are that stupid, it tries to make you think about Bundy’s personality, actions, and way with words/women so that it earns the narrative it is trying to tell: that monsters come in many manipulative forms. And because of Zac Efron’s incredible performance, it earns that slight doubt that could be formed in the back of your mind.

If there is only one thing to watch this movie for, it is because of Zac Efron. It is easily his best performance and I would probably stand up and cheer if I hear that he is nominated for an Oscar next year. He is just that damn good, and it isn’t just an impersonation. He embodies all of Ted’s ticks, mannerisms, and way with words so well that Efron basically became what I know of Bundy right before my very eyes. It is so frightening but the acting is so good you can’t take your eyes away from the screen. Lilly Collins is good too as the current girlfriend that can’t decide whether she truly believes Bundy is innocent or not, but Kaya Scodelario steals the female performance from under her as a former protege of Bundy’s that increasingly becomes obsessed with him and his innocence for all the wrong reasons. And the end reveal of Bundy just slightly showing Collins character who he really is, is a pretty powerful scene in itself. The movie alone is also worth watching between Zac Efron’s and John Malkovich’s banter between one another in the courtroom.

Would a movie that actually featured Ted Bundy committing all those horrible acts, maybe add thirty minutes onto the film to incorporate it, be that great and/or better than this film? I honestly don’t think so. I think if we got that movie people would’ve complained that it glorifies violence against women and it would’ve put itself in a public relations nightmare just to promote the film to get people to see it. The filmmakers made the right approach. How did those close and distant to Ted Bundy see him? How did he get away with all that horror for so long? Not how did he kill this girl and watch Zac Efron try to recreate murder events. Plus, if you want to dig deeper into the psychology of Ted Bundy, the director of this film also did that ‘Ted Bundy Tapes’ documentary series that is also on Netflix anyway. They make quite a marathon/double feature. Like I said, your appreciation of this films depends on what you’re expecting out of this. Expect a really good character study, and you’ll be out of the woods with a grin on your face and thoughts about it afterwards. Expect a re enactment of the murders, you will not have a killer time.