Any streaming service should know that you might have a problem with about 75% of your original movies, when two of the best ones in that 25% include evil babysitters, cult group sacrifices, blood, guts, gore…and Bella Thorne. The Babysitter was a huge sleeper surprise hit back in 2017 for Netflix. No one ever thought that writer/director McG would make his best film on a streaming platform known for it’s 3/4ths of mediocrity, sometimes just plain bullshit. But that film is an absolute blast, and you could tell McG was having a grand ol’ time having fun and not trying to be too serious but letting his creative juices flow at the same time. Instead of ending up with something like Charlie’s Angels and Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, which felt like he tried too hard with too many quick shots, cuts, fast edits and manic energy all over the place, he realized with a streaming service not breathing down his back to just breathe and take his time a little. There’s still manic energy in that film, but it’s focused, works to the films’ advantage, but most importantly, it lets some scenes breathe. For being less than an hour and 30 minutes, it still felt like we got to know all the characters and it let scenes take their time when they needed to, and not when they didn’t. The movie even put Samara Weaving (who played the titular babysitter) on the map. THE BABYSITTER: KILLER QUEEN, with director McG returning but also dipping his hand in the screenplay this time, is not only as good as the original, but even better in some parts, narrative wise, than its predecessor. It’s just plain fun. Definitely the pick me up I’m betting the $30 Mulan on Disney+ Premiere couldn’t provide.

If you are interested in this movie, and haven’t seen the first one, try to not watch any trailers for either film, just expect a hard Rated R film with a bunch of blood, shocks, and surprises, and you are good to go. The trailer for the first film shows a little too much, and the trailer for the second film shows a little too much as well, even if it is revealing things more in between the lines than outright and is a bit better at hiding its secrets. Just read these two IMDB descriptions of the first two films, and you are good to go to just press play: The first film – “The events of one evening take an unexpected turn for the worst for a young boy trying to spy on his babysitter” and the second film – “Two years after Cole survived a satanic blood cult, he’s living another nightmare: high school. And the demons from his past? Still making his life hell.” Pretty much almost everybody comes back from the previous movie, and the way the movie eventually gets to the typical sequel formula, that is possibly killing these demons one by one in the most gruesome way possible, isn’t so typical. In fact, there are two big story shockers in the movie that I didn’t see coming. This sequel blindsides you with the fact that you didn’t really know any of the characters that much in the first film, and expands upon them a little, with development choices that completely make sense in context to what we knew, or didn’t know, previously. You’ll see what I’m talking about when it happens. At first you’ll be confused and say: “wait, what?” And then with about two minutes of thinking it’ll turn into: “holy shit, it makes sense, can’t believe they pulled that off!”

Combine that with the more of the quippy dialogue that references pop culture and different movies that we got from the first film. Combine that with more of that zany energy and laugh out loud moments/jokes that we got from the first movie. And combine that with (Randy from Scream 2 would be proud) more gore, more kills, more carnage candy that us core audience just expects from a sequel, and you get something just as good if not better in some ways than the first. It’s not Empire Strikes Back, Aliens, or Terminator 2 kind of superior, in some ways its better and some ways its the same, the perfect double feature if you will. Judah Lewis is back as Cole, and even though he looks much, much older than he did the first time, in the almost 3 year gap since the first one (only two years later in the movie for high school purposes) he hasn’t lost any of the geeky heroic-ness mannerisms he had. Emily Alyn Lind gets much, much more screen time in this film, and it certainly doesn’t go to waste. Jenna Ortega is the film’s fresh face, and her performance in this is a warm welcome considering she just signed on to play a lead in Scream 5. The supporting demons still haven’t lost a step. Hana Mae Lee, the silent girl in the Pitch Perfect films, is as cool and weird as ever, Andrew Bachelor gets more screen time here to full effect (the movie even pokes fun at itself that he does get more screentime), and the Robbie Amell shirtless jokes here definitely hit harder and are more belly ache laughter inducing than the first one.

The weakest link is…no surprise…Bella Thorne. I think she is very limited as an actress in general, and having one film high up on my worst list of this year, Infamous, I wasn’t expecting her to win me over here. But I thought that since she was decent in the first movie and that McG gets the best out of his actors, that she would be decent in this one again. However, I think social media fame has gotten the best of her as she has some weird line delivery issues in the sequel, but thankfully she’s not in the film that long. Not all of her line delivery is weird though, just a couple of moments that could’ve used another take or two. Then again, Ken Marino is in this again too and has a different movie high up on my worst list this year, The Sleepover, but here he’s fine and not that annoying. **********MAJOR SPOILER WARNING FOR THE REST OF THIS PARAGRAPH, SKIP TO NEXT ONE IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS MOVIE OR THE TRAILER************************************************ Let’s get to the elephant in the room for those that have watched the trailer or heard news about this sequel when it started filming. Where is Samara Weaving? It showed she survived the first film in a mid credits sequence, but in the promotional materials and the casting call sheet about a year ago, her name is no where to be found. Luckily, not to worry. The end of the trailer teased her return, and the film delivers. And even though it is more of a glorified extended cameo, she’s still a very important part of the story it turns out, and I’m glad that getting famous off of the film Ready or Not didn’t go to her head and she didn’t just abandon the franchise she was known for being the true star of. ********************************END OF MAJOR SPOILERS************************************

Like I said, The Babysitter: Killer Queen is a whole lot of just plain fun. Something I and many other people might truly need right now. I’m surprised that this sequel wasn’t more heavily promoted. Were they afraid it wasn’t good and just more of the same, but not as good in its execution? Granted you have 4 writers compared to the first’s one, but they managed to come together to deliver something just as entertaining, and didn’t treat us like sequel idiots that so many sequels tend to do. McG definitely didn’t slack on this one either. He treats it like a rip roaring, actually fun and adventurous reunion of sorts even though it’s only been 3 years and not 10 like some lame high school ones tend to be (I didn’t go to mine, that’s how lame it sounded). The movie starts strong, doesn’t lag and doesn’t let up until the end credits. Speaking of end credits, make sure you stay through just the mid credits, as just like last time, there is another short scene that possibly teases a third film. Even though if they just ended it here, it would be fine. But if they do make a third one, hopefully they have more tricks up their sleeve and introduce another unique and realistic way to continue the story and still have Cole just battling his same demons all over again. Last time, it all took place in a house, here it is mostly a rocky and watery terrain in the middle of nowhere. Maybe shakes things up and the next one be at the high school or even college campus? The possibilities are endless. Thankfully with this spectacular sequel, if everybody does come back again a third time around, both cast and crew, the trilogy could still end up being…killer.


Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: THE MAIN EVENT (Netflix)

Oh God Netflix…why…why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU EVER GREEN LIGHT THIS FILM FROM BEING MADE or if it was already made, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BUY IT FOR YOUR STREAMING PLATFORM?!?!? THE MAIN EVENT is a catastrophe of epic proportions. Easily one of the top worst films of the year for me and it even shit on several child hood films I liked as a kid/teenager. Here we have another film in the weird genre of “inanimate sports object is magical and makes a kid or teenager play so good that he goes pro or semi-pro. What would you say is the last decent one of those? Like Mike maybe? Maybe Slam Dunk Ernest? I know it might be considered a stretch but I’m willing to just put Rookie Of The Year in this category even though it’s an arm and not an inanimate object, just so I have better films to compare this piece of shit to. Gun to my head, I would watch those three on a repeated loop for a year than watch a whole minute of The Main Event ever again. When actor/comedian Adam fucking Pally looking like he’s bored to tears in the movie (even though that is kind of supposed to be his character) and you can tell he just did it for a paycheck…something is seriously amiss with this. In the movie, a real wrestler from WWE farts so hard that he nearly blows the protagonist out of the ring in this movie. I…SHIT…YOU…NOT.

If I were to describe The Main Event, it’s pretty simple. Take Like Mike, take out the basketball and magic shoes, replace them with “wrestling” and a lucha libre mask, but then add about 2000% more cheese. There you go. A kid, who’s mom just left him and is being raised by his grandmother on her side (forced feels here) and his now single father, finds a magical wrestling mask when hiding from bullies, and decides to enter a WWE competition to be the next WWE superstar along with a $50,000 grand prize. And he tries to woo a girl he likes during all of this. The only people I see liking this movie, even if its the teensy tiniest bit, are wrestling fans, and then little little kids that are also wrestling fans, ones that don’t know any better. At first, I was going to shit on this a little more and a little unfairly, saying something to the akin to this makes the movie Ready To Rumble with David Arquette look like a masterpiece and that it shits all over the fantastic and more realistic Fighting With My Family that was released last year with Florence Pugh, but one of my friends made me realize these are all two completely different movies, and it would be unfair. He’s absolutely right. That still doesn’t take away from the fact how dumb, cheesy, and too looney tunes-zy this film is. It literally treats the audience as if they were idiots. I can see even some wrestling fans scratching their heads, wondering who the fuck wrote the atrocity to the film world. Also, the kid movie cliches!!! How much would you want to bet that the kid lets his friends (& love interest) down at a critical time and that he has to have the mask off to (sorta) fight in the climatic finale? And don’t get me started on this wrestling mask. Characters are literally shocked and confused when he takes it off and he reveals he’s a kid… seriously…when the wrestler character IS NAMED KID CHAOS and his fucking height and rest of his appearance! With just a little bit deeper voice, it is more embarrassing than people not being able to tell the similarities between Clark Kent and Superman just because of a pair of fucking glasses.

Let’s see who is to blame shall we? Holy shit, four credit screenwriters? There’s huge red flag #1 into why this thing was a disaster. Let’s see some of their screenplay writing history…one nobody, one person who wrote for Kevin Can Wait (figures)…and oh my God…really?!? **rubs eyes to make sure I’m not seeing shit** …The other two people to blame are the guys that wrote that fantastic Klaus movie that came out during Christmas on Netflix and the animated film I really wanted to take home the Oscar this year. Holy fucking shit. I’m willing to forgive the director, as he’s only done television, and some wacky stuff like Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Parks and Recreation, and the direction isn’t the problem here, but those two guys that worked on Klaus…their participation to this disaster is INEXCUSABLE. Even though this movie is for kids, that doesn’t give it the excuse to be so lazy. This whole project is just so fucking ridiculously lazy and uninspired (the long fart joke is a huge indicator). The only people trying in this movie is Seth Carr, who plays the main kid protagonist, but his energy needs to be directed to better movies…his two minute role as Young Killmonger in Black Panther (I believe he had no lines too) was more dense this this. I’ve already said that Adam Pally’s performance screams forgivable paycheck, but then there is Ken Marino, oh God, how is this asshole not wanting to throw up after being in this? He looks like he’s the only adult trying (he plays a rival wrestler’s manager…but oh my God, it’s the same asshole character he’s played in every single project he’s in, including Role Models and Veronica Mars. This guy was decent on Party Down…what the fuck happened to him? He’s gotten into unforgivable territory now.

Unless you are a young kid that doesn’t know any better (yet shouldn’t be reading my reviews because of my potty mouth), a kid that really likes “wrestling” or an adult that moderately likes “wrestling” stay far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, FAR AWAY FROM THIS STINKER. Just absolutely horrendous at every turn. I was eating lunch while watching this and some food almost fell out of my mouth…that’s how low my jaw was open when seeing what I was seeing play out across my phone screen. I’m almost at a point where I want to write to Netflix demanding that they give me a free month of service with every shitty movie that I end up watching that they either green lit or bought and slapped the “Netflix Original Film” name over it. If they did that I should have a free year of Netflix by now. Why, oh why is money being poured into things like this? Are these producers even reading these screenplays? They must have for Fighting With My Family, but I guarantee you no one read this before saying yes to this. They were told a premise, they needed something to fill a hole in their slate, so here you go. Shit on a platter. I could see this film being in the line up of three in the Best Of The Worst segment on Red Letter Media’s video web page. Only it would definitely, definitely lose. There are only two saving graces to this movie, one being that the only watchable part is the talent show where the kid wrestlers’ friends are able to pull off their hip hop dance to the tune of the song ‘Tricky’ without him (I appreciated the small twist of them not failing) and that it doesn’t get the worst film of the year from me, because I actually knew what was going on in the movie. The ONLY saving graces. Expect this main event on Netflix to soon be a skip-able pre-match in the growing sea of endless piece of shit Netflix “originals.”