Hello there! Oh yes, that’s right, Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi comes out tomorrow. And while I wasn’t a writer for movies on this site two years ago, on my Facebook page I did have several theories for The Force Awakens, a lot of which happened to come true. Now, I am going to do it again for The Last Jedi. Now the different of my knowledge from The Force Awakens to The Last Jedi is this: while I read a lot of rumors about story ideas, behind the scenes, and news regarding The Force Awakens, I have been virtually in the dark for The Last Jedi, other than seeing the two trailers and reading and watching every single canon Star Wars book,keeping up with Rebels, etc. So without further ado, I am going to make 20 predictions for The Last Jedi, which I am seeing tomorrow, which you will get a giant non-spoiler review for Friday, and then a spoiler filled one Monday. Now, these 20 predictions I have no inkling or clue if they are going to happen or not, so don’t be mad at me if they end up coming true. I am merely taking context clues from what I’ve seen of the trailers to what I have read in the canon novels.

1. Rey is probably going to abandon Luke on Ach-To (that’s the island they ended on The Force Awakens), a la Luke abandoning Yoda on Degobah to go rescue his friend on cloud city, but instead of rescuing friends, she is going to try and bring Ben (Kylo Ren) to the light side of the force. (God knows why)
2. I think almost nothing will be revealed on Snoke’s origins at all, and in a cool 2nd film twist, Snoke will be killed (instead of being killed a la Emperor in the third movie), probably by Luke, and we will have to learn Snoke’s origins a la the next movie, or through Star Wars canonical novels. After Snoke is killed, I think Ben will  completely ditch coming to the light side and go full dark, becoming the new leader of The First Order.
3. I think there will be a Luke and Leia 3rd act reunion, and I think both with survive this movie, while Leia will probably get killed off screen between the movies, with a heart attack like she did in real life.
4. Rey, Finn, and Poe will obviously survive this movie.
5. Finn will be victorious in his battle with Phasma and Phasma will be killed in this film in a awesome death rather than being a Boba Fett bitch and dying stupidly in the third film.
6. I do think that the new character Rose and Benecio Del Toro’s DJ character will die, based solely on the fact that you only see Finn fighting Phasma at the end. I bet Phasma kills Rose and makes Finn go fucking ballistic.
7. We will probably see a famous force ghost! Doubt it will be Obi-Wan because we’ve already seen Alec Guinness as a old Obi-Wan Force Ghost so seeing Ewan McGregor would make no fucking sense unless they tried to do shitty make up on him. It will probably be either Hayden Christensen as Anakin (since they use him as a Force Ghost in an altered Return of the Jedi cut) or Yoda. Maybe even both. My money is on Yoda because Frank Oz is still alive and we want to see the realistic puppet again.
8. The battle on Crait will be cool but will probably remind people too much of the Battle of Hoth.
9. I think much more will be revealed about the Force. I don’t know if we are going to get Grey Jedi, or something of more of a balance to it, but we will learn more, although I doubt the word midichlorians will be mentioned. I am basing this on the fact that Luke said the Jedi must end and that it hints to an ultimate balance in the Star Wars Canonical novels.
10. General Hux will probably die too. Don’t know how or why.
11. The Porgs will be cute and everybody will want a fluffy one once they leave the theater. Chewy will probably eat at least one of them.
12. Chewbacca, C-3P0, and R2-D2 will all survive.
13. Here’s a wild ass theory. Laura Dern’s character is a new character named Amelia Holdo. She is briefly in the Leia, Princess of Alderaan book that came out a couple of months ago. She seems weird but friendly then. But I ultimately think that she will be the First Order traitor in the Resistance’s mist.
14. We will probably not see Jakku or Takodana again. All new planets except for maybe Q-Dar, the resistance base in the last movie
15. Maz Kanata will have one scene, and still won’t reveal how she got Luke Skywalker’s old saber.
16. There will probably be less of a cliffhanger in this movie, and you’ll probably know more where they are going to take it in the 9th and final movie of the skywalker trilogy, than you did from Force Awakens to Last Jedi
17. Leia will somehow use a bit of Force power other than feeling what is happening to a character in this one, revealing that Luke might have taught her a thing or two before he left.
18. I don’t think the Knights of Ren will be explained in this one. Either Episode 9 or canonical novels. I don’t think they are as important as they seemed in Rey’s flashbacks.
19. I don’t think Rey’s lineage will be revealed either, I think Rian Johnson is letting Abrams decide what he wants to do with it.
20. I will probably like this film either right under The Empire Strikes Back, or it will be my favorite Star Wars movie ever.

There is something very wrong about Woody Allen’s WONDER WHEEL, and I can’t place my finger on why I didn’t really like the film other than the gorgeous cinematography that should be nominated for an Oscar. Maybe it’s the subplot of Kate Winslet’s child from another marriage starting random fires in places that doesn’t go anywhere. Or maybe it’s the over acting from everyone except Juno Temple. Or maybe it’s because story structure and plot wise it’s just not very interesting and it is very predictable. Or maybe I just hated all the characters. Woody Allen is very hit and miss, and mostly over the years its been a giant miss, other than Match Point and Midnight in Paris. Maybe he should start titling all of his films with the letter M at some point and he’ll have more luck?

Sexual allegations aside, I do think Woody Allen is talented, but his one movie a year bullshit is spreading quite thin. And I understand the man is in his 80’s, and if he doesn’t do one film a year we might not even see a next film from him. But the guy needs more planning in every aspect in his film making sometimes. He needs to think: is this story interesting? Are there any likable characters? Am I just doing this movie to film Coney Island in a special way? Maybe I should think about just doing a psudo-documentary on Coney Island and film it the way I want to? That’s where I have the feeling his idea for a movie came from: “I want to film Coney Island in its prime, with special cinematography….now what kind of cockamamie story could I come up with to fit in with it?

Oh I know! I’ll have a groggy housewife (Kate Winslet) that has an abusive husband (Jim Belushi), that stars an affair with a young lifeguard (Justin Timberlake), that also has eyes on the abusive husband’s young daughter (Juno Temple) that came into town where her ex-husband, who is a gangster, is looking for her and is going to kill her if they find her. Doesn’t that just sound absolutely original? I hope you are sensing my sarcasm of the written word. Because it is not original, and it is very predictable. Think hard for a second, where do you see this story going? 90% of you could probably predict this down pat. It’s very easy. The film tries to be clever by being a tiny bit ambiguious at the end and just having the film end after some accusations are made, but the audience knows better and knows that it is just a cheap trick because Woody Allen had nothing else up his sleeve.

The movie is just constant bickering dialogue scene after constant bickering dialogue scene with every shot being absolutely fucking gorgeous. If it is nominated for an Oscar for that, that’s fine, but anything else is just blasphemy. Everybody overacts in this film to the 10th degree, except for Juno Temple, who only seemed sincere because she couldn’t believe that she gets to star in a Woody Allen film. Woody Allen usually has a great ear for dialogue, but the bickering in it just seems force fed and a little too over the top. And the kid setting fires? Was that supposed to be some kind of a metaphor or did he not know how to wrap up that story?

Wonder Wheel is a huge disappointment. I wouldn’t call myself a Woody Allen fan, but if there are any Woody Allen fans out there, consider this a huge misfire and disappointing except for the cinematography. What is really funny is that the film is quite watchable if you just hit the mute button. It could’ve even worked as a color silent film. But with sound, this film is a disaster, and one that I would never revisit again, unless some of the shots were cobbled together to form a collage on the background on my laptop.

 

I wrote this review last since this movie doesn’t come out for another week (Dec. 20th) and also because this was the movie I enjoyed the most out of all the ones I saw this weekend. Weird, right? Let’s get this out of the way JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE is not a remake of Jumanji, it is most definitely a sequel and there are two instances in the film where they prove that it is indeed so and not a remake (you can still consider it a very minor reboot considering it’s been over 20 years since the last one.) I knew it was a sequel going in. What I didn’t know was how much fun I was going to have with it. I came out of it really admiring and enjoying most of the film and while it doesn’t touch the brilliance of the original, the films fortunately is somewhat of its own animal and has just enough stamina to watch them both back to back for many years to come.

Also, did I mention this is Jack Black’s best role since School of Rock? He completely steals the movie, but we’ll get back to that in a bit. The movie starts with four wildly different classes of teenagers all sent to detention. When they are cleaning out a school storage room they find an old video game system with a Jumanji videogame cartridge stuck inside (don’t worry, they show how it transformed from a board game into a video game, the movie knows not to try and pull a fast one, although it can be argued that board games are now back in style). They each pick and avatar and get sucked into the game, where they are still themselves, only in their avatars body. The avatars look a lot like Dwayne Johnson, Karen Gillen, Kevin Hart, and Jack Black. Together they must not only try to find a way out of the game, but play by the games rules and save Jumanji from a vicious overlord.

I’ll get more out of the way here, the story isn’t really too deep when it involves saving Jumanji, but then again, when you think back on it, did the original have much of a story other than making it to the end of the game? The first film relied on Robin Williams’ performance, the relationship between him and his own flame, and his relationship with the kids that helped him escape from the game in the first place, and a nasty ass hunter coming after him to kill him. This one is more about the relationships between the four kids that have drastically different social backgrounds and how they can overcome their differences and work together. All the while trying to reach the end of the game. While the movie adds in a baddie overlord played by Bobby Cannavale, that wants to rule the jungle in the form of a green crystal that has powers that needs to be restored to a lion’s eye carving at the top of the mountain…those two aspects are the stalest/weakest thing about the film. I didn’t care about the villain and he wasn’t that scary or vicious to me, and I certainly didn’t give two shits about the crystal.

The movie hinges on the relationship between the four kids/avatar’s, and that is what made the most enjoyable and outstanding. Again, as I’ve said before, it is the journey that matters here, not the ultimate end game. The chemistry between Johnson, Gillen, Hart, and Black is so fantastic here that I could’ve watched them in the jungle a lot longer than the hour and 50 minute runtime. Dwayne Johnson shows a little bit more range here than he does in his past several macho guy roles, Kevin Hart is actually tolerable in this film (and that’s praise considering I don’t like his comedy all that much), Karen Gillen proves that she is so much more than Nebula and Amy Pond, but it is Jack Black that steals the show.

See, two of the four kids that get sucked into the game are girls, and there are three boy avatars and one girl one. So the pretty popular girls becomes Jack Black, and although you could’ve gotten a lot of cheap laughs (don’t worry you still do) of Jack Black playing a woman, the way he does it and they way he looks really into it made the movie just a little more special than it should. Every time he came on screen and opened his mouth I just had a huge smile on my face and couldn’t wait to see what happened with him next.

The film also plays on videogame rules and tropes such as how many lives you get, strengths and weaknesses, objectives, tasks, so on and so forth, which were highly enjoyable to watch. While the action scenes aren’t phenomenal, it was nice to see that they actually filmed on location for a lot of the scenes rather than have everything and anything being shot green screen and inside a studio. Yes, there are a couple of awkward CGI moments, but they are few and far between, and considering what kind of film this is, it makes the CGI in Justice League look that much worse.

I had a lot of fun with Jumanji 2. It isn’t going to win any awards this holiday season, its a film where you are just meant to go in, shut your brain off, and have some fun. There is several different kinds of fun. There is, dumb fun, bad fun, smart fun, dumb bad fun, and dumb smart fun. I would definitely put this film in the latter. And while this is a PG-13 movie, I would say it is okay for the whole family, and I definitely recommend it to those cautioned people that hold the original too closely to their hearts to warrant even caring about this one. It is actually very good, and very fun, and that’s the most we should expect from movies like this. I can’t wait to visit this jungle again when it hits disc in a couple of months.

Somebody just please hand Gary Oldman his Oscar right now. Because he has basically won it in his turn as Winston Churchill in DARKEST HOUR, one of the better political autobiographies we have seen in the last decade. What is really funny is that there was another movie earlier this year entitled Churchill that showed Brian Cox as the infamous Prime Minister, and it even dealt with some of the same moments as this film did, that film was ultimately inferior. Brian Cox was good, but not Gary Oldman good, and the film was kind of boring, while this one is perfectly paced considering its two hours, and the stylistic choices of director Joe Wright in how he wanted to tell this story makes for a more interesting dynamic than the other film did. Darkest Hour, while very very good, won’t be making my top 15 list this year, Gary Oldman definitely makes my top favorite performance of the year, easily.

Darkest Hour basically takes place during early World War II and the time where Neville Chamberlain resigns as Prime Minister due to the fact that his country doesn’t feel like he is doing anything to stop Hitler from invading all of Europe. They appoint Winston Churchill, who instead of peace talks with Hitler and Germany wants to use the full force of Britain’s army and completely take down Hitler’s reign despite incredible odds.. The other politicians favor the peace talks and have to constantly bite their tongue  more and more often the longer that Churchill is Prime Minister and acts on his conscience. Eventually that tongue biting stops and they have to get forceful with him and his views.

Like I said, Gary Oldman is incredible here. His make up does help (it’s the best age/appearance transformation make up I’ve seen since Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor) but it is his acting that is truly masterful. He has Churchill’s speech patterns down, his manurisms, he is completely transformed where you don’t see Gary Oldman at all during the 2 hours run time. Absolutely incredible. The acting on all sides is good too. Kirsten Scott Thomas as his wife, Ben Mendolsohn as King George VI and especially Lily James as his assistant Elizabeth Layton, all provide great supporting performances to give the film that added weight.

But also most importantly, it is a pretty dang good movie. A lot of political biographical films like this almost put me to sleep, but something about Joe Wright’s direction completely had my eyes do a 180. I was completely entertained and kept asking myself, “what happens next?” when the title cards of each day goes by. If you are looking for a war film, you’ve looked in the wrong place. There is basically no action in this film other than a couple of above air explosions and you see some aftermath of soldiers that have been injured in battle.

But this is Gary Oldman’s show, and he makes the movie completely watchable and entertaining with his performance. Gary Oldman is long overdue for his Oscar and unless he has some creepy sexual harassment shit in his past that is about to come to light,  the Oscar is his. Easily. I will be shocked if they don’t give it to him. This will only be his 2nd nomination overall, but it feels like he has already been in a Leonardo DiCaprio situation for all these years he has been in the business. I would recommend seeing this film for his performance alone, but if you are also into that history political autobiographical type stuff, this is right up your alley too.

With every man show, like the Punisher out there, I gotta keep my reviews in check, so it is only fair that I watch more of a woman’s show, that way there is a balance not only to what I watch, but the reviews my audience reads. Therefore, I decided to check out THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL on Amazon for several reasons. One: my wife was interested in watching the show. Two: I was interested because they people that wrote and directed all 8 of these episode happened to have created another favorite show of mine, Gilmore Girls (don’t judge, fuck you, it’s a good show). And three, the story intrigued me a lot. Needless to say, with all of these ingredients, I highly enjoyed and highly recommend The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, as it is another Amazon series winner, and my favorite since Bosch.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is about a housewife (played to perfection by Rachel Brosnahan) whose husband leaves her for his secretary and so she decides to become and we see her progress into a masterful stand up comedian. Her husband was a stand up comedian and basically only leaves her when she figures out that he steals his act from Bob Newhart and when he tries to do his own stuff he is actually pretty terrible. She gets a manager in Susie Meyerson (played by Alex Borstein who gives the performance of her career) from a local place called The Gaslight after she just goes up to a mike there and starts ranting after her husband leaves (her husband did his stealing acts there). Then her story takes her to dealing with her parents in the midst of a possible divorce, her living situations, trying to find the right balance in her act, dealing with her kids time with her husband, and running into her husband when he is still seeing his secretary. All in the midst of trying to get into stand-up stardom. It’s a very meaty, fast paced, and wonderful 8 episodes.

Just like Gilmore Girls, the dialogue is quick witted, and very fast paced. And it feels real, which is the most important thing. I like how she just doesn’t get to stardom immediately either. Season 1 (I really hope there is a 2) takes its very sweet time, and you may be be surprised where she actually is by the end of the 8 episodes. The acting in this also takes the series to another level. Brosnahan and Borstein is what make this show so good. Their banters to each other and other people are memorable and will have you laughing harder than a lot of comedies that are on the air right now. Tony Shaloub also makes a nice turn as Maisel’s father. I was kind of getting sick of him as Monk and his turn here as a nervous over bearing Jewish father is quite unique and refreshing.

And the stand up acts here are the best. Brosnahan flows through them so naturally, you would think she is an actual stand up comedian and not just a terrific actress. The style,mood, and cinematography of the 50s time period this is in is right on point as well. If I had any complaints it is the fact that they really don’t focus on the relationship ship between her children and her that much and them being flung from parent to parent. Maybe that is a dynamic they could explore and beef up more in Season 2.

I called this a woman’s show earlier. It is and it isn’t. This show could be enjoyed by all sexes and any age from 16 and up. Especially if you like great acting and terrific dialogue. The fact that it is only 8 episode too makes everything very tight and everything flows perfectly structurally. I haven’t seen Transparent at all, but with this, Transparent, and Bosch, Amazon is become quite the contender when it comes to original television programming. This is a must watch if you have the time as well.

Whew! Finally with a new child in tow I was able to finish all thirteen episodes of THE PUNISHER on Netflix. Not to say that it wasn’t hard getting through them because it was a terrible show. Quite the contrary. If I hadn’t had a kid I would’ve finished this grand spectacle in two days. Simply put, The Punisher is the best Marvel Television Extended Universe series since the first two seasons of Daredevil. A great story, great acting, brutal and hardcore action and one excellent episode that stood out above the rest makes this a must see experience to behold. I was kinda getting bummed out with Luke Cage and Iron Fist, and a somewhat disappointing if okay The Defenders, but this makes up for all of that ten fold.

Jon Bernthal is the Punisher. No question. Even though I still like Thomas Jane in the first movie, no one will ever be better than Bernthal. He was born for this role. Every episode he brings he A game and in a saner world would be nominated for an Emmy next year. Also, this is not just your ordinary Marvel Television series. If you thought the entire series as a whole was dark, brutal, and would probably be closer to an R rating in the theater than any other Marvel Extended Universe film that has been released, take the Punisher and times it to about ten. This would be a hard, hard rated R bordering on NC-17, violence wise. There is sex (partial nudity) and some language (didn’t hear any F words) but the violence here is cringe worthy in deed. Blood galore, head shots, body explosions, multiple stabbings up close, eye gouging out, the works. So do not let your young child watch it if he/she has watched the other ones, this is way different.

It also seems that the Marvel Cinematic Television Universe doesn’t have the Marvel villain problem like the films do. He have three really good meaty villains here, and I don’t want to take away of who the villains are as one of them is supposed to be a surprise even though it is revealed early on and you can see coming from a mile away. But the villains here are rotten, dirty, brutal, menacing, and good. Full character arcs on each of them.  If you know The Punisher lore very well, it’ll be easy to figure out who the villains are based on their real names alone and you’ll know who they’ll eventually become, but for the casual viewer like myself, I do not intend on revealing who the main main baddie is just based on that it is kind of a spoiler. The series itself is a bit of a pot boiler, it has some slow moments, but they are all necessary, and when the show gets going, it REALLY gets going.

The best episode, where these Marvel Television series finally decided to do something different is Episode 10 entitled, “Virtue of the Vicious,” where the entire episode shows different perspectives on the attack of a politician. This episode is probably my favorite out of all of the series. It has action, perfectly paced, great story structure, and very intense. And if this episode doesn’t change your mind about the series, nothing will.

Some people have complained about the new character to any Punisher lore, Dinah Midani, played exquisitely by Amber Rose Devah, but I thought the character was a great addition and actually served her emotional arc well. She was absolutely needed as the audience needs someone in the law enforcement agency to have that righteous perspective on events. Ebon Moss-Bachrach plays the Punisher’s sidekick David Lieberman very well, and Ben Barnes, Paul Schulze, and Jamie Ray Newman all bring humanity into their roles.

The story itself takes place right after Daredevil Season 2 with The Punisher finishing up those they wronged him and murdered his family, but of course there is more to it, and there might be more players involved than who he thinks there is. I won’t give away much else since the fun is the journey and being able to figure things out on your own.

But yes, The Punisher is not only a great Marvel Television Extended Universe Series, it’s an awesome Netflix series in general. If anyone else plays The Punisher other than Jon Bernthal, there is going to be hell to pay, because he really is that excellent. If you’ve watch all the other Marvel television series, this is a must too, because it is in the top tier of quality for them.

List of Marvel Television Netflix Series in Order of Favorites:

1. Daredevil Season 2
2. The Punisher
3. Daredevil Season 1
4. Jessica Jones
5. The Defenders
6. Luke Cage
7. Iron Fist

“I did not hit her, I did naaaaaht…Oh hai, Mark!” is just one of the phrases you’ll be repeating after seeing the hilarious film THE DISASTER ARTIST. This film is freaking hilarious and I was laughing literally the entire time (ask Kimberly Finke). If you’ve seen any of the trailers and are like, “what the fuck is James Franco doing/who is he playing?,” what he did performance wise in this film was masterful. I know a lot of critics have already mentioned this but Tim Burton’s film Ed Wood, is a masterpiece of a film about the making of one of the greatest bad movies ever made. Well, so is The Disaster  Artist, that shows the making of a great terrible film called, The Room. If you are having a quadruple feature, and need two more movies to compliment Ed Wood and Plan 9 From Outer Space, definitely add The Room and The Disaster Artist to your mini marathon.

The Disaster Artist if you didn’t know based on the trailers is a true life story of two men’s ambitions to make it in Hollywood. James Franco plays Tommy Wiseau, an aspiring actor and director who never reveals his true origins, how old he is, or where he gets all his wealth from.  Tommy meets Greg Sestero, (played by Franco’s brother Dave, also excellent here) another inspiring actor,  who become fast friends but whom neither are that talented to make it big when Greg accidentally gives Tommy a “great idea.” They should just make their own movie. So Tommy writes, directs, and finances to shoot “The Room.” And the two begin on an incredible journey that proves that if you really want something that seems impossible, and even if the end product is not want you envisioned, it might not be that impossible to get it, you just got to have an insane and unrealistic amount of enthusiasm.

I should put out a disclaimer that I have not seen The Room. But I now I really really want to. You don’t have to see The Room to get this. It gives you the gist of what it was about and even shows shot by shot comparisons of some of the scenes James Franco (that’s right, he is a director here too) recreated for this movie. And you don’t have to see The Room to laugh, you’ll laugh whether you have or not, but maybe seeing The Room beforehand will get you to appreciate The Disaster Artist just a little bit more. It’s not just about making that terrible movie, it’s about a friendship between two men that stands the test of time and tribulations. And with that, along with the realistic way they re create was it was like making of the movie, the masterful acting from all parties, makes this film I completely recommend seeing as soon as you can.

The only reason that I will still be controversial among some critics and not put this in my Top 15 of this year is because I really wanted more! This movie left me wanting that much more, and I felt that if I got 20 more minutes from this 95 minute run time, I could’ve gotten it, and the film could’ve been a masterpiece. I wanted to see more of the making of the movie and felt like a lot of the book that this film is based on, was left out at the cutting room floor. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I wanted more James Franco. He is incredible in this. He washes any resemblance of the Franco you know and love/hate and completely becomes Tommy Wiseau. I wanted more zaniness and even more ridiculous things that Tommy Wiseau did during the making of this film (and I know there is a lot more, I read up on it before seeing the movie).

I just felt like 95 minutes was too short. The movie has a great pace, and is very quick, but I felt like a movie of this caliber, trying to show not only the making of this film and is considered the cult classic great bad film that it is today and also the friendship between two very different men, it should’ve been longer and more fleshed out. I felt it the entire time during the movie. I was constantly thinking, “this part wasn’t long enough,” “they could’ve done more here,” “why didn’t they explore this,” and at times it was a little distracting how much fast paced it was. The script could’ve used more pages.

But James Franco is a very good director here. Especially considering he gave a fantastic performance out of himself in the process and everyone else involved. He didn’t really show anything that would show he has a unique style visually or structurally, but this film is a perfect launch pad to try and figure that out on his try. Out of any nominations I would support James Franco for best actor and maybe even a best picture nomination. It is a really good film. By the way, Zac Efron and Josh Hutcherson have hilarious camoes in this. I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed as hard as I have for Efron.

The thing that I liked most about the film was the hidden message of the story about our dreams in life. These two managed to go out there, with hardly any experience, and make an actual film. Yes, that film might be terrible, and considering the greatest bad movie ever made, but with these two, it proved that bad press is still excellent fucking press. These two are now famous just based off their effort and their one bad film. But is it bad to them anymore? Probably not. They went out there and did it, and the message to everyone else is that you can too. I mean come on, if they make a really good hilarious and sometimes heartfelt Hollywood movie about the making of your terrible film, isn’t that success?

THE SHAPE OF WATER might be the most gorgeous film of 2017 (other than Blade Runner 2049 and I haven’t seen Last Jedi yet). Certainly, not might, this ranks as one of writer/director Guillermo Del Toro’s best films alongside Hellboy II, Blade, Pan’s Labryinth and Mimic. It has a solid structure, there doesn’t seem to be a scene wasted, it’s well acted and it’s very entertaining…so why can’t I put it on my Top 15 Film List of 2017 like so many other critics are doing? Because while the story has a very solid structure, it is unfortunately way too predictable to be taken as a wholly original film. It is still a great film, and I am recommending it to see it in a theater to experience the wonderful cinematography on the biggest screen that you can, but the story, including the journey, was an ingredient that was vital to the masterpiece of this dish, and they didn’t put enough in.

Maybe my expectations were too high after all the praise this film was getting, calling it “one of the best of the year.” I agree it is Oscar worthy in every sense of the form. Especially it should win cinematography if Blade Runner doesn’t and I think Sally Hawkins is likely to win Best Actress (and rightly so, she is freaking incredible in this, her best performance to date). Just something for the story for me was off. Beat by beat, plot progression by plot progression, I was guessing everything that was going to happen at every turn. Sitting in almost an empty theater at 10 p.m., I was saying out loud scenes to myself (but quietly, wasn’t near a soul) that were going to happen 10 to 15 minutes down the line, and I was correct. There wasn’t a moment where something absolutely shocked me into what was going on. The only minor thing that was unpredictable was a subplot with Russians that revealed its hand a little too early and had a conclusion I guessed since moment one.

Not to say the movie isn’t boring at all. It’s not, its quite entertaining, and people are sure to love this exquisitely shot love story. The character arcs all go full circle. Other than Sally Hawkins, Richard Jenkins, Michael Shannon, and Octavia Spencer are all incredible here and if any of them got Oscar nominations as well they are well deserved. I shall be crushed though if this gets nominated for Best Original Screenplay, because it is so riddled with some cliches and predictability it would take amnesia to not notice them. I’m only trying to explain myself why I am not putting this on my top list so people aren’t shocked beyond belief. They might be shocked that I am not putting Disaster Artist in my top 15 either even though I thought it was incredible,  but I have reasons for that as well.

Now let’s get to the creature, played by Doug Jones. I was surprised how much of a practical effect the creature was, other than the eyes. I thought it would be a CG creation a la Beast from this year’s Beauty and The Beast, but boy was I wrong. This thing is real, looks real, feels real, so the chemistry because him and Sally Hawkin’s mute character is believable, inspiring, yet heartbreaking when it needed to be. In fact, this creature and the two’s chemistry  make whatever Belle and the Beast had in this year’s earlier adaptation seem like it was done on a computer with a tech on autopilot.

The end is a little anti climatic as well, but effective. And on the whole I still think it is a pretty great film. It’s beautiful and a true work of art: visually. If Guillermo Del Toro, on his next film, could take that art, and turn it into something not just visually appetizing, but bring us a dessert of a truly sweetly written and unpredictable word, by God what a masterpiece that would be. And I was starting to give up hope on Del Toro, after the painstakingly numbing experience of Crimson Peak, and the good but not fantastic Pacific Rim. But this is a giant step in the right direction across the street of cinematic heaven. Just a few more steps Del Toro, you’ve made it there several times before being sent back to the drawing board, you’ll make it again.

Well, I think Netflix may have just officially entered the Academy Awards race with MUDBOUND. This movie is incredible. Punches you in the stomach multiple times for one hell of an emotional wallop. It is also one of the best films on race and class relations I’ve seen in the past decade, along with Detroit earlier this year. The film is a 2 hour and 15 minute slow burn yet it is still extremely entertaining (the fact that I couldn’t take my eyes away from it sitting on my couch at home says something) and it gives its audience a well-earned and incredible final act. This movie is required viewing I think by any movie lover. And you really don’t have any excuse not to see it. You can sit on your lazy ass and watch it at home. Don’t have Netflix? Borrow it from a friend weirdo.

MUDBOUND tells several stories but at the heart of all of it is two families, one white and one black, both living in the same region in the south. The husband of the white family has a younger brother off fighting in the sky in World War II, and the black family has a son that is fighting on the ground in tanks in World War II. Once the boys come home, the white soldier coming back with extreme PTSD, they strike up a unlikely friendship, much to the chagrin of the racist town folks and the racist father of the white soldier. The white husband also had a wife that may or may not have feelings for the younger brother as well. And the black soldier holds a secret from the war, something that would not be tolerated at all in the town that they live in.

This movie has perfect plot progression/storytelling/etc. You think the movie is about the husband and wife white family, then the movie switches on you and you think it is about the black family, and then it switches again and it is the relationship between the white younger brother and the black son, and then it switches again to the town and white father dealing with that relationship, all while being consistent and solid with tone and structure. It’s perfectly plotted and the transitions are masterful. The best part of the movie are obviously the conversations and friendship between the white younger brother and the black son, talking about their war experiences, and the shit they are having to go through when they come back from war. It’s very heartfelt, and comes to a conclusion you might not see coming.

It deals with race, class, bigotry, and family with a strong iron fist, not sugar coating anything for the sake of the audience. At the center of all the conflicts and hatred is a good message that doesn’t try and tack you on the head a thousand times with a hammer to try and get its point across. The acting here is also amazing, but if I had to pinpoint anyone, it would be Garrett Hedlund as the white younger brother soldier. This is his most shining role to date and I would be disappointed if he didn’t get a best supporting nomination out of this. Everyone else is fantastic here too, including Jason Clarke, Carey Mulligan, Jason Mitchell, and even Jonathan Banks, but Hedlund shines every scene he is in. You feel his PTSD, his love for his friend, his heartache. Every time he is on screen is an experience.

The end of the film is what truly got me. Didn’t see what was coming and it hit me in the…how do people say it nowadays…the feels? It’s a fantastic ending, culminated in a near perfect picture that will definitely be re watched in the future. That is what I liked about this film. It isn’t too unwatchable and doesn’t play with your emotions with over the top torture and bloodshed that films like Detroit and 12 Years A Slave do. While it still doesn’t sugarcoat anything, it is a film that transcends  that uneasiness with a scene like that and structurally puts it into the film where you aren’t wincing and can’t wait for the scene to be over (even though there is one part like that, it actually doesn’t show too much, which I appreciated).

Conclusion: It’s simple, if you have Netflix or can get access to it, Mudbound is required viewing. It is one of the years best films and has to be seen to be believed how near perfect it is. The test for me with watching a film at home is if I’m distracted with other things on the internet or something else happening around the house. I just held my kid, he slept the entire time, and the 2 hours and 15 minutes completely blew by me. It is a experience that has to be seen to be believed, and one of the most important films of 2017. Steam it now damn it!