Zach’s Zany Star Wars: The Last Jedi Theories!!! 20 Predictions!!!

Hello there! Oh yes, that’s right, Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi comes out tomorrow. And while I wasn’t a writer for movies on this site two years ago, on my Facebook page I did have several theories for The Force Awakens, a lot of which happened to come true. Now, I am going to do it again for The Last Jedi. Now the different of my knowledge from The Force Awakens to The Last Jedi is this: while I read a lot of rumors about story ideas, behind the scenes, and news regarding The Force Awakens, I have been virtually in the dark for The Last Jedi, other than seeing the two trailers and reading and watching every single canon Star Wars book,keeping up with Rebels, etc. So without further ado, I am going to make 20 predictions for The Last Jedi, which I am seeing tomorrow, which you will get a giant non-spoiler review for Friday, and then a spoiler filled one Monday. Now, these 20 predictions I have no inkling or clue if they are going to happen or not, so don’t be mad at me if they end up coming true. I am merely taking context clues from what I’ve seen of the trailers to what I have read in the canon novels.

  1. Rey is probably going to abandon Luke on Ach-To (that’s the island they ended on The Force Awakens), a la Luke abandoning Yoda on Degobah to go rescue his friend on cloud city, but instead of rescuing friends, she is going to try and bring Ben (Kylo Ren) to the light side of the force. (God knows why)
  2. I think almost nothing will be revealed on Snoke’s origins at all, and in a cool 2nd film twist, Snoke will be killed (instead of being killed a la Emperor in the third movie), probably by Luke, and we will have to learn Snoke’s origins a la the next movie, or through Star Wars canonical novels. After Snoke is killed, I think Ben will  completely ditch coming to the light side and go full dark, becoming the new leader of The First Order.
  3. I think there will be a Luke and Leia 3rd act reunion, and I think both with survive this movie, while Leia will probably get killed off screen between the movies, with a heart attack like she did in real life.
  4. Rey, Finn, and Poe will obviously survive this movie.
  5. Finn will be victorious in his battle with Phasma and Phasma will be killed in this film in a awesome death rather than being a Boba Fett bitch and dying stupidly in the third film.
  6. I do think that the new character Rose and Benecio Del Toro’s DJ character will die, based solely on the fact that you only see Finn fighting Phasma at the end. I bet Phasma kills Rose and makes Finn go fucking ballistic.
  7. We will probably see a famous force ghost! Doubt it will be Obi-Wan because we’ve already seen Alec Guinness as a old Obi-Wan Force Ghost so seeing Ewan McGregor would make no fucking sense unless they tried to do shitty make up on him. It will probably be either Hayden Christensen as Anakin (since they use him as a Force Ghost in an altered Return of the Jedi cut) or Yoda. Maybe even both. My money is on Yoda because Frank Oz is still alive and we want to see the realistic puppet again.
  8. The battle on Crait will be cool but will probably remind people too much of the Battle of Hoth.
  9. I think much more will be revealed about the Force. I don’t know if we are going to get Grey Jedi, or something of more of a balance to it, but we will learn more, although I doubt the word midichlorians will be mentioned. I am basing this on the fact that Luke said the Jedi must end and that it hints to an ultimate balance in the Star Wars Canonical novels.
  10. General Hux will probably die too. Don’t know how or why.
  11. The Porgs will be cute and everybody will want a fluffy one once they leave the theater. Chewy will probably eat at least one of them.
  12. Chewbacca, C-3P0, and R2-D2 will all survive.
  13. Here’s a wild ass theory. Laura Dern’s character is a new character named Amelia Holdo. She is briefly in the Leia, Princess of Alderaan book that came out a couple of months ago. She seems weird but friendly then. But I ultimately think that she will be the First Order traitor in the Resistance’s mist.
  14. We will probably not see Jakku or Takodana again. All new planets except for maybe Q-Dar, the resistance base in the last movie
  15. Maz Kanata will have one scene, and still won’t reveal how she got Luke Skywalker’s old saber.
  16. There will probably be less of a cliffhanger in this movie, and you’ll probably know more where they are going to take it in the 9th and final movie of the skywalker trilogy, than you did from Force Awakens to Last Jedi
  17. Leia will somehow use a bit of Force power other than feeling what is happening to a character in this one, revealing that Luke might have taught her a thing or two before he left.
  18. I don’t think the Knights of Ren will be explained in this one. Either Episode 9 or canonical novels. I don’t think they are as important as they seemed in Rey’s flashbacks.
  19. I don’t think Rey’s lineage will be revealed either, I think Rian Johnson is letting Abrams decide what he wants to do with it.
  20. I will probably like this film either right under The Empire Strikes Back, or it will be my favorite Star Wars movie ever.

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