Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: VELVET BUZZSAW (Netflix)

VELVET BUZZSAW just came out on Netflix this past weekend and I watched it in two sittings, so since its technically a movie that came out in 2019, I’m here to review it. And I’m not saying it is technically a movie just because its on Netflix, I’m saying its technically a movie because it has actors, characters, a plot, a beginning, middle, and end, and it is feature length. However, this movie lacks that one thing that I constantly bitch about if you are a constant reader of my reviews: focus. It lacks focus. And the infuriating part of it is that it has two central focal points, however they don’t really mesh together here very well. One of the focal points (we’ll get to what they are in a second) is pretty damn fantastic the first half of the film, then the second focal point doesn’t really deliver at all, and when meshing with the first one, makes a back half that drags and delivers a ho-hum of an ending. I’m actually a bit disappointed, seeing that this was from Dan Gilroy, writer and director of the fantastic film Nightcrawler.

And then he made Roman J. Israel Esq. which I think I enjoyed more than most people (story/plot wise), especially Denzel Washington’s Academy Award nominated performance, even though it never even closely reached the heights of Nightcrawler. Velvet Buzzsaw never reaches the heights of either movie, save for Jake Gyllenhaall’s performance. The film is about a supernatural presence in artworks that kills artists, gallery owners, art critics, etc. after a woman (played by Zawe Ashton) ‘steals’ a bunch of exquisite paintings by an unknown artist. When I say ‘steals’, she actually happens to find his dead body on the stairwell in her apartment complex, find out he has no next of kin, and just goes searching in his apartment after the super says they are going to throw everything out.

Suffice to say that the movie tries to blend art world parody and horror, and while it gets the former correct, the latter is done so lazily and uninteresting that I found myself pausing the movie after every couple of minutes just to see how much I actually had left to watch. The horror isn’t even scary, and if not scary, it needs to be funny in a farce kind of way, and it doesn’t do either. And when the film focuses on the horror, it completely ignores that art world parody that came before it, leading to the scenes in the back half of the film being an unfocused, lazy, boring, terrible mess. Also another problem with the film is that there are absolutely no likable characters, I guess save for one, played by Stranger Thing’s Natalia Dyer, but then her character is just regulated to her spouting off a couple of sentences about needing a job and finding all the dead body’s this supernatural presence is stacking up.

Jake Gyllenhaul is excellent here, and seems to always bring his A game when investing in a role, however his character doesn’t really have an arc until the very end of the film, and it seems rushed and wasted. Plus, I didn’t like his character. Rene Russo seems like she’s bored, Toni Collette as well. Daveed Diggs looks like he is there doing someone a favor, and Zawe Ashton, who should have the most rounded arc of anyone in the cast, is terribly unlikable and the ending to her story was infinite degrees of dumb. John Malkovich is also terribly wasted here too. It seems like the characters motivations and action were traded in for story, which upends the film. When looking back at it, it seems Dan Gilroy had a great half a film, in which it completely parodies the art world and the people involved in it. The other half wasn’t realized and spruced up enough screenplay wise, making a film that goes together like oil and water.

None of the horror or death scenes are inventive or scary. Dan Gilroy doesn’t even do the modern audience a favor and bring in cheap jump scares to just liven the film up a bit. The characters just die in really lazy ways, with either terrible CGI spray blood or even fucking off screen (you don’t do this if you have a R/TV-MA rating). When watching the trailer to this, I was quite intrigued to see the new ride that Gilroy was going to give us. But now that his films clearly having a pattern of being not as good as the last one, I am a little shaken thinking of how his fourth feature could be worse than this. Is he a one-two trick pony going the way of Shyamalan? We’ll see…

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: CAPERNAUM and LIFEBOAT (Two Film Review) OSCAR Catch Up Part 6

CAPERNAUM (nominated for Best Foreign Language Film)

Unless Never Look Away or Shoplifters absolutely blows me away when I watch them before the Oscars on Feb 24th, I think I can safely say that CAPERNAUM is my favorite foreign language movie of the ones nominated, that’s right, better than Roma. This film might not have the gorgeous cinematography that Roma or Cold War has, but it has a much better story, much better pace, a perfect run time, better acting, better characters. A really really powerful film. In fact the only complaint I have about it is I maybe wanted the ending a little more clear cut in what happened, how certain characters got back to certain places, but I feel that some of it was supposed to be “just because” or “ambigious” and I really enjoyed the movie so much I let it slide.

The film is about a 12 year old Lebanese boy named Zain who is in jail at the start of the film for stabbing a person and is in court suing his parents. It then cuts back to Zain’s journey and what events exactly led him to prison, which includes trying to protect one of his older sisters, running away from home, and staying with a deportee named Rahil, and taking care of her small one year old child. I won’t tell you much more of the journey as that is what made the film so captivating. The film has a nice clear cut message on ones identity and the life that was force upon him.

And again, while the cinematography is a bit lacking in some areas, everything else about it technically is pretty great; the shots, the camera work. But its the story, acting, and characters that plunge the audiences’ deep involvement into the film. Zain, who in real life is played by a complete novice, also named Zain, is phenomenal. Can’t believe he was just a novice by the end of the film. The woman that plays Rahil is mesmerizing as well, and how they got certain great emotional shots with that one year old, boggles my mind. Yes, it’s subtitled, and yes its a foreign film, but if you read this review I highly, highly recommend that you check it out. If it weren’t for Roma, I would stake that this could easily win the Oscar for Best Foreign Language film. If somehow it does, I will be smiling ear to ear.

LIFEBOAT (nominated for Best Documentary Short Subject)

Lifeboat is a short 34 minute Documentary (available on YouTube) about refugees crowded to the brim on multiple makeshift shaky rafts that are trying to flee the harsh life of Libya and escape to Europe. A non-profit German operation called Sea-Watch brave the dangerous journey and try to intercept these boats and rescue these refugees at all costs. Once they are rescued, these people tell stories of being beaten, raped, being part of sexual trafficking and how poverty in general lead them to flee their homes and risk their lives.

The documentary tells and shows this giant rescue operation and gives some haunting details about these lifeboat trips to flee Libya. This doc let’s us know that 1 in 18 people drown and they find 200 to 300 dead bodies on the coast of Northern Africa each year. They piss and shit in these boats and remark about having to stand in it, how these conditions effect the fleeing children. The documentary is short and precise, not over staying its welcome or repeating any information already given to us. The captain of one of the rescue operations tells us that he lends a hand because he knows how easily he or any of his loved ones could’ve had one of the refugees lives and feels that he is obligated to save as many as he can.

This documentary will make you appreciate the life you have, no matter how shitty you think it may be. The images will make your draw drop, some of it is daunting and hard to watch. It’ll give you some perspective. There are thousands upon thousands of people suffering out there that literally almost can’t do anything about it. When they get this one shot at escape, even if the escape could mean death, they will take it no matter the cost. Definitely see why this was nominated for an Academy Award.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: COLD WAR and OF FATHERS AND SONS (2 Film Review) Oscar Catch Up Part 5

Yes, I know, how many parts is this Oscar catch up? I’m thinking its possible it might get to 8, 9, or 10, so just bare with me. Here is another two quick reviews on movies I needed to watch to cross a couple of more nominees off my list:

COLD WAR (Nominated for Best Director, Best Cinematography, and Best Foreign Language Film)

COLD WAR was wayyyyyyy too short. I know right? You thought I was going to say long there for a second, but no, at 90 minutes, this movie is too short and not fleshed out enough. That’s not to say it was bad at all. Far from it. The direction is great, the cinematography (of which it is nominated and I wouldn’t mind it winning) is stunningly gorgeous and beautiful to look at, the acting is good. It’s a very well made film. But with a tacked on WTF really? ending and not enough screen time for the destructive romance to blossom and blow up between the two leads, it’s just short of becoming great or even a masterpiece.

The movie mainly takes place in the 1950s (it goes a little before and a little after), and it is about a music director that casts poverty people that have talent and does a musical roadshow in and around Poland. He casts a younger singer, falls in love with her, and tries to persuade her to run away with him to France, but the love between them is not so simple. With the acting between Joanna Kulig and Tomasz Knot, their romance is actually a little believable and they have good chemistry. But oh man, add 30 to 45 minutes onto this film, show us some of the grittier things that happened to them in between all their get-togethers and delete and re write that ending, wouldn’t been something truly something.

But all you people that love cinematography out there, this one is a must see for that reason alone. Every fucking shot of this movie is gorgeously detailed and beautiful. The film is in black and white, and thankfully so, I don’t think it wouldn’t worked as well in color. The three nominations for this film are well deserved, director Pawel Pawlikowski did a fine job. But it if were longer, it could’ve beaten Roma for me, and I am a little disappointed that it didn’t.

OF FATHERS AND SONS (Nominated for Best Documentary Feature)

Damn, if you ever want to see how truly hatful, awful, and shitty it is in the radical parts of Syria, watch OF FATHERS AND SONS. It is a documentary feature made by Talal Derki, and he goes back to his homeland of when he was a small child, and realized it has changed into a nightmare. The filmmaker gains the trust of this Islamic family and stays with them for two years it’s about radical jihadism and has terrorist training in the documentary. How this guy escaped from there alive and not once being suspected of not being someone like them, I have no clue how he pulled off.

It really is terrible over there, a very harrowing documentary that capture my attention for the entire short 98 minute run time. The radical Islamists are just awful human beings. They beat and yell at their wives, for which they have multiple. They let their kids to mean things to the other little girls around their area, make dangerous bombs that could seriously hurt them. And one of them even goes off to terrorist training for several years. Some of it is really hard to watch. The father of the family gets his foot blown off mine tracking (it doesn’t show this), and sacrificing a ram because their religious dictates it (it doesn’t show the actual neck slicing, but it shows blood going everywhere and the father chopping off its feet).

There is little narration but at the beginning and the end from the director, which was very appropriate. All the images and shots spoke for themselves, I didn’t need to be explained what was going on (its subtitled BTW). If people ever tell me their live is absolute shit, I am going to tell them to watch this documentary, to see how much of an actual living nightmare over there. I get the shivers just thinking about this documentary. Definitely deserves its nomination.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: Three of the Five Documentary Short Subject Academy Award Nominees (Oscar Catch Up Part 4)

Alright, here are three quick reviews of the two Documentary Short Subject Academy Award Nominees that were available to watch

BLACK SHEEP

This one is available for free if you have Amazon Prime. A mother of Nigerian descent moves her children from London to Essex after a killing of a 10 year old boy also of Nigerian descent (but unrelated to the family). The story is told from a point of view of one of the boys grown up. He talks up close to the camera and it goes from his face to a re enactment of events of what happened when they moved to Essex. You will realize why it is called BLACK SHEEP by the end of the short 26 minute run time.

Basically this man describes how racist Essex was when he moved there. He got beaten up badly by white teenagers that would call him the C and N word. After he got beaten up, he saved up his money to buy more expensive clothes, got blue fake cataracts for his eyes, and tries to bleach his skin white. The white people end up accepting him, but then still terrorizes other black teenagers and such. It’s a pretty harrowing documentary of the man describing why he did the things that he did and didn’t try to go into another direction. I’ll ruin anything else in the short run time but, basically, I definitely see why it was nominated.

END GAME

END GAME is a short 40 something minute doc that is available on Netflix if you have it. Like Black Sheep, this one is hard to watch without getting a little depressed. It’s about sick people in a hospital and/or hospice where social workers and counselors work with the families of those sick to make sure that their end of life care is comfortable to the best of their abilities. It has about 5 to 6 patients that it focuses on, and goes extensively into one or two of them, specifically with an Arabic women in her 40s that is dying of cancer who will leave behind a husband and child.

*Spoiler alert* There are no happy endings in this short documentary. If you are hoping for a miracle, don’t. End Game means End Game. But the doc does show you that a place of people that deal with this can be very compassionate and helpful till the end. So combining that with these people dying of their illnesses makes sort of a bittersweet affair by the end of the documentary. I can see why this one was nominated as well, but don’t recommend it to those that get very upset easily. I’ll leave that choice up to you.

A NIGHT AT THE GARDEN

How an individual is nominated for an Oscar for the 7 minute bit (that’s available for free on YouTube, I will never understand. There is no narrator dialogue, and just ominous music, and old footage restored and edited. It’s footage of an American Nazi rally of 20,000 people at Madison Square Garden in 1939, shortly before the beginning of World War II. If 15 – 20 minutes would’ve been added on to this thing and gave us a little insight into the event or the events surrounding it, instead of just an end title card describing what was going on, they may have had something. Other than that, I really hope this doesn’t win, because there is no way it deserve an Oscar. Sure the footage is haunting, but he didn’t shoot the God damn haunting footage…

If I happen to find a place to watch the other two for free I will update this blog.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: 4 of 5 Nominated Animated Short Films (Oscar Catch Up Part 3)

Hello again! Below I very quickly review 4 out of the 5 Animated Short Films nominated for an Academy Award. ‘Weekends’ was not available for me to review, if you find it, send me a link, and if I watch it, I’ll update this with a review of it as well!!!

Animal Behaviour

This one is available on YouTube right now. It is basically animals that talk and do certain things like humans but still with their animal instincts. There is an ape, a praying mantis, a leech, a pig, and a bird all in this therapy group session led by a dog. The animation reminded me of Adventure Time for some reason, and a lot of the jokes had me laughing at loud. While definitely not the sweetest of the four I saw, it was very humorous and well written. Definitely not in the theme of the other following three…

Bao

You’ve probably seen this one if you saw Incredibles 2 in the theater and weren’t late or if you own the Incredibles 2 Blu-Ray/DVD (it’s on there). This is that Pixar short about the Chinese woman taking care of the dumpling that had turned alive. A very sweet take on children growing up, resenting their parents at times, and leaving the nest with great animation. This one almost brought me to tears as well. Most of these have the same theme this year, parents and their children aging.

Late Afternoon

This one is available on YouTube right now. It’s about an elderly woman with severe dementia and Alzheimer’s disease being taken care of by a care giver one afternoon. The animation style is that of Madeleine, if you’ve ever seen the books or have watched the short cartoons. The elderly lady goes back in the past and then back to the confusing present in her mind. This one almost brought me to tears as well. Brilliant

One Small Step

This one is available on YouTube as well and literally brought me to tears. It’s about a girl and her father and the girl’s dreams of astronomy and trying to make it her career in life. I was in tears halfway through this thing and bawling by the end. The animation is nice, sleek, and unique, brought to you by Taiko Animation. I won’t give anything else away. I would pick this one to win, but to tell you the truth, if any of these win it is well deserved.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: MINDING THE GAP and CHRISTOPHER ROBIN (2 Film Review) Oscar Catch Up Part 2

Another two quick reviews of 2018 movies I needed to cross off my Oscar viewing list before the telecast.

MINDING THE GAP (Nominated For Best Documentary)

Not wanting to only see RBG as a documentary nominee, I decided to check out MINDING THE GAP, which is actually a Hulu original, and you can watch for free if you have a Hulu subscription. If RBG doesn’t win for Best Documentary, I nominate this as a very close second. The film is about three young men that bond together after having escaped their violent home life in Rockford, Illinois. We follow Zack, a young 20 something year old who is about to have a child with his girlfriend; Kiere Johnson a later teens African-American who loves to skate (they all skate, hence some of the meaning of the title), and can’t get over his abusive father’s deah, and Bing (actually the director of the doc), who interviews his mom about the abusive relationship they all had with his deceased step father. They are all trying to figure out their way in the world.

The film is quite heartbreaking, some of the paths and stories these young men take will make your jaw drop to the ground and maybe even shed a tear. They all want a better life and all of them try to go down that path, even if they veer off of it time and time again. This movie was made with footage over (and I’m estimating here) around 5 years (I can tell from the growth of Zack’s child) and eventually the young men’s paths veer apart and they don’t have as much contact with each other very much. It is up to you to wonder if the ending is hopeful or bittersweet.

It’s really a simple documentary into the lives of less privileged individuals and the effects of violent home life, and all of the messages are clear even though the doc doesn’t outright tell you what they are. I am usually bored by documentaries and completely ignore the category each year for the Oscars. Seeing this and RBG in a row (and seeing Won’t You Be My Neighbor earlier this year), it is beginning to change my mind and I think I will start seeking them out more regularly in the future. I was expecting to possibly be bored by this one, pausing and taking a break a billion times before finishing it. But I watched it in basically one sitting, and that is saying something.

CHRISTOPHER ROBIN (Nominated For Best Visual Effects)

I was supposed to see CHRISTOPHER ROBIN with my wife in the theater, but then she got sick, we cancelled and never had time to make it before it hit home video. I really like Winnie The Pooh and his friends, and enjoyed the older movies and stories I had read growing up. I had really wanted to see it at first, but then Rotten Tomatoes and some audience reviews told me other wise, and I kind of kept this one at the back burner. It being nominated for Visual Effects and needing to cross it off my Oscar viewing list, I decided to check it out. It absolutely deserves to be nominated for Best Visual Effects. Pooh and his friends look completely real, as real as you can get without being a puppet or muppet. At times, I couldn’t even tell there was even CGI. And some of the CGI imagery to represent an older world was quite breathtaking as well.

The story was a bit…uh…the word I’m looking for is repetitive. It’s been done a million times before the same way. Look at Steven Spielberg’s Hook for instance, it asked us what if Peter Pan grew up? In the movie he ends up being consumed with work and ignoring his kids. Then he gets drawn back to Neverland, where he discovers his inner child again and the importance of the life he now has an adult. This movie is the exact same thing, but instead of Peter Pan, it’s Christopher Robin, and instead of Neverland, it’s the Hundred Acre Woods. But since this is a KIDS film, you have to keep that in mind. And if I’m thinking about that, then the plot is service-able enough for its target audience.

The movie is a moderately short 1hr and 40 minutes, and the time does fly relatively fast enough. I did though think that Christopher Robin’s reunion with all the other animals was a bit short and I would’ve loved to see Ewan McGregor (who is good as always) play with his friends in the Hundred Acre Wood a bit more before continuing with the actual predictable plot. And there were a couple of scenes that I thought might be a little to frightening for some younger children, like images of war, and a possible scary real ‘heffalump.’ But it doesn’t get too scary, basically has the same tone as hook with scary scenes as scary for children when Peter’s kids are initially taken by Captain Hook. All in all it was a fine film, could’ve been much better, but good for its target audience. And it definitely deserved to be nominated for Visual Effects.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: THE WIFE and RBG (two film review) Oscar Catch Up Part 1

So when Oscar nominations came out last Tuesday, because of some surprise foreign film nominations, I have a little catching up to do. So in my Oscar Catch Up Review series, I’m going to do two short summaries on films that I didn’t quite catch while they were in theaters, but got to before the Oscars:

THE WIFE (Glenn Close is nominated for Best Actress)

I had the chance to see THE WIFE in theaters, but I knew it was going to be available to watch about one month before the Oscars telecast went live, so I figured why waste the theater dollars and redeem a free rental? Glenn Close is sweeping up the awards that many feel (not me) should be going to Lady Gaga for A Star Is Born. Well, since I finally watched this little movie I can tell you that, in my opinion, those people that feel that the award should go to Lady Gaga, not to put it mildly, are morons. Glenn Close has been nominated for 6 Academy Awards and never has won. This is Lady Gaga’s first big acting awards recognition role. Glenn Close can acts circles around Lady Gaga and it isn’t even funny.

I guess you can chalk up my opinion to that I don’t think Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper have one lick of chemistry in A Star Is Born. Glenn Close in this plays the wife of a prestigious author that was just told he is going to be receiving the Nobel Prize for Literature that year. The movie is about the two of them, along with their son, attending the ceremony. Through all this, Close’s character begins to question the choices she made in life. If this movie sounds familiar, it is (see: Colette and 45 Years), but its the performances that make it captivating. Both Glenn Close and Jonathan Pryce (plays the husband) are like ticking time bombs of emotion in this movie, and everything relies on their facial expressions to convey to the audience how they are feeling. Glenn Close is a master at this, and I think Jonathan Pryce should be getting a little more recognition for his performance as well.

The film is a short 99 minutes and it just breezes by, it’s a very good watch. My only complaint about it is that I think it would’ve been tighter without the flashbacks to Close and Pryce being played by younger people. I think that the movie could’ve told us through the good dialogue it had and inferred to what happened, rather to show everything with going back in time. I have a feeling it that was the screenwriters intention, and that the flashbacks might’ve been studio interference. Other than that, everything about the movie is a little time bomb, even Christian Slater has a minor juicy role as the match trying to ignite that explosion. If you have the chance to watch it before The Oscars, I highly recommend it, as this is Glenn Close’s Oscar. Plain and Simple.

RBG (nominated for Best Documentary)

RBG, is about none other than Ruth Bader Ginsberg, who is currently 85 years old, still kicking, and still an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States. I am probably more shocked than you that, Won’t You Be My Neighbor? did not get nominated for an Academy Award, and since it isn’t, I sure do hope that this wins.

This is a short 1 hr 38 minute documentary, which fortunately doesn’t shoot itself down itself by trying to be a chronologically, information overload, chronologically bound slow ride of a biography. This feature keeps it short, sweet, to the point, with some great highlights. It doesn’t go birth to death, and it doesn’t try to explain and study every single aspect of her life. We go back and forth with her during present day and how she has become this cultural phenomenon, that even she can’t see why she has become this huge thing, back to her college days with some landmark cases you might not even know about in between.

Like I said in my review of On The Basis of Sex, if you watch this film, and then that film, it makes quite a great double feature. Filmmakers that make documentaries now know that you can’t just bog a viewer down with the facts, you have to make it interesting. And this film sure does win your interest pretty easily. They even show her watching Kate McKinnon doing an impression of her on ‘Saturday Night Live,’ laughing along, and then when the interviewer asks, “do you see yourself in that impression?” she laughs it off and says, “not one bit.” That moment, along with a bunch of other really interesting other tidbits, make this a worthy documentary to watch.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: GLASS (no spoilers)

Right off the bat, I want to just divulge that I think Unbreakable is M. Night Shyamalan’s best film, an underrated masterpiece if there ever was one. I do hold The Sixth Sense in high regard as a close second. I did think that Split was very good, only being several awkward scenes and some editing away from being a masterpiece itself. And I think Signs and The Village are very good too, we get to both half-hazard endings. And I think The Last Airbender, The Visit, The Happening, Lady In The Water, and After Earth are all great big piles of shit. I didn’t see GLASS until Sunday morning, so color me a bit shocked when it was released to bad reviews (even though it was a January film, yet again Split was released in January). A lot of folks were saying that instead of continuing to build upon the comeback he had with Split, he instead combined what he did best, with the worst of most of his career. After finally seeing it for myself, I’m going to keep my real feelings for the film in check, and say that I disagree with what the masses are saying. I actually kind of liked it.

Does the movie have its problems? Absolutely. It is definitely the weakest in the Eastrail 177 Trilogy and it does stumble a bit, especially the editing and style choice of the ending, but the whole thing never topples over like I was expecting it to. For those of you not in the know. Glass continues/concludes the story of Bruce Willis’ character David Dunn and Samuel L. Jackson’s character Mr. Glass from Unbreakable along with James McAvoy’s multiple personality character Kevin from Split. I’m not really spoiling anything by saying the story concludes because Shyamalan has said that this is it, his original vision of a trilogy is finished and there is no going back in numerous interviews. And I thought it was actually a pretty good grounded into reality imaginative ending. A lot of people didn’t like certain character reveals, fates, twists, what have you, but I see very much into what kind of story Shyamalan was trying to tell and I thought that most of his choices felt real and bold.

In my opinion, the problem with the ending of the story, ideas, etc. wasn’t so much in the writing, but in the execution of the shots, pacing, editing, all the technical aspects. I for one was not like a lot of these critics and expecting a grand spectacle of epic proportions where Dunn and The Horde were going to ram each other into buildings and other objects with grace like camera work and explosions. I expected a realistic showdown with two men of extraordinary strength and one with a cunning mental wit, and that is exactly what I got. I expected better direction though. There are a lot of shots between the fights with Dunn and The Horde that were very questionable, such as some of the POV shots. They seemed a little lazy and that Shymalan knew that action scenes were out of his element (see: The Last Airbender) so he experimented with something else that still didn’t quite work. The pacing also seemed off where as all the action and reveals felt sluggish and not snappy like they were supposed to be.

The problem with the writing proponent in regards the ending, well, actually I guess you could say in parts of the entire film, was the over explanation of things. Shyamalan was trying to make a grounded, real life comic book hero flick, paying homage with a little bit of parodying, while still being very serious. Yet the dialogue, twists, reveals, explanations from all the characters go on entirely too long. We get it. A characters explains just a couple of sentences about something, and I, and I’m pretty sure the rest of the audience, completely gets what is going on. However Shyamalan can’t help himself, almost to the point where he might as well have had a bullhorn over every individuals ear watching the film and screaming, “DO YOU GET IT?!?!?” Kind of like what Darren Aronofsky did with mother! if you needed any comparison.

But the rest of the film is pretty good, bordering on great at times. Out of a 2 hour and 10 minute run time. The first hour and 40 minutes are quite solid. The last half hour is when Shyamalan’s ego gets in the way. Without revealing the fates of the characters, I felt that one of them was sold a bit short, and one went on way too long. I agree with all the fates and the entire ending idea of the trilogy, it just needed to be constructed better. The acting is top notch all over the place, even Bruce Willis seemed like he wanted to actually be there. People complained that for a film titled after Samuel L. Jackson’s character, that it took too long for him to appear in the film, but I’d argue that that was a fantastic story choice and it felt natural in the ultimately sway of things, plus Jackson again, is good here. Anya Taylor-Joy is good too, and while you might think her character is bordering on being “stockholm syndrome” here, you might want to re watch Split, as everything makes sense and was set up beautifully in regards to her character arc in that film. The real scene stealer is, of course, James McAvoy. If you’ve seen Split (why wouldn’t you? If you watch Glass without seeing Unbreakable or Split then you are a weirdo and need to get your priorities checked) you know what I am talking about here. He lights up the screen every moment he is in this film.

But yeah, I liked Glass and I’m arguing against the majority here, so sue me.
There are some things I will agree with, such as it is definitely the weakest of the M. Night Shyamalan’s trilogy and that the ending stumbles a bit (although we disagree on how it stumbles), but it is not enough to completely topple the whole thing over. I think if another writer came in and polish M. Night’s screenplay, and if he had a couple of directors come in while he was shooting and gave him some pointers, it could have been a strong finish, as good as Split, or even better. But alas, Shyamalan basically financed the whole thing himself, and his ego got in the way. Critics are not giving it great reviews because they expected more but got less. For me, sometimes less is more. If only the ending would’ve been a little bit less…

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: ON THE BASIS OF SEX

ON THE BASIS OF SEX is the second Ruth Bader Ginsberg movie to come out this year. Thankfully, they both work as companion pieces to each other because the second one is just titled RBG, and is just a good old fashioned documentary on her. This movie, is a Hollywood-ized, pampered up, layman’s terms, dolled up tale on one aspect of her life with those pesky end credit title cards to sum up the rest of her incredible career. While I would love to see a movie, hell, maybe a sequel (hopefully maybe even wait awhile so Felicity Jones can get older) of her path to get a seat as a Supreme Court Judge. But this will do for now. The reason why some critics aren’t having this is because of the Hollywood-ized version, and just like Bohemian Rhapsody, probably mostly a fictional account of true events, where everything probably happened a lot more slower and a lot more boring in real life. But I actually liked it. Yes, some movies should get a whip of the ruler to their wrist when dolled up movie doesn’t work that great in their favor (see: Bohemian Rhapsody). But movies like this, that know the perfect recipe to get butts out of their house to buy tickets and then sit that butt in a theater, are forgivable and at times, even really enjoyable.

Not to hark on Bohemian Rhapsody but, no matter what side of the entertainment spectrum anyone is on that film, everybody can probably agree that there was a better movie in there somewhere. Especially if they would’ve just focused on Freddie Mercury. Well, unlucky for that movie, it didn’t have a Queen/Freddie Mercury documentary to come out the same year. I have a sneaking suspicion that Focus Features got wind of the documentary coming out while they were developing this movie, and knew that since the movie was going to expand Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s entire career, that they needed to have more of a central focus on this. Because copying would be frowned upon. So this movie smartly just tells the tale on one aspect of her life that expanded a little over a decade: her early career trying to get work, and then taking a law tax case with her husband that deal with a middle aged, single, never married man being denied a caregiver tax break (he was taking care of his sick mom) based solely on his gender.

And the movie is good. It works. I was thoroughly entertained through out the whole thing. Everything law based was explained perfectly to the audience to get what was happening on screen. That aspect was basically the dolled up part of the whole thing. But if you took the dialogue and what really happened in real life and put it shot for shot up on the big screen, the real question is would you still be entertained? And the studio/filmmakers/producers definitely checked the no box as the answer to that question. In my opinion, probably a smart move when you consider that a documentary was coming out just months before the release. And both this movie and the documentary together make a one-two punch of a pretty decent double feature. If you’ve ever wanted to know the legacy of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, you could do no wrong in watching both of these movies.

Now while the film was getting early Oscar buzz with Felicity Jones being nominated for best actress, and can tell you with 100% confidence that that is not going to happen. But that doesn’t mean she isn’t good. She is really really good here, and it is only heightened by the fact that she is playing a real person, someone with real character, which is better than her last film, where she played a rebel named Jyn Erso, that had absolutely no character development, and was just reading off lines the best that she could. Shit, I forgot what the little movie was called… Anyway, I digress, the rest of the acting is good here too. Armie Hammer is charismatic as Ruth’s husband, Justin Theoroux is quirky as Mel Wolfe, a high up contact in the ACLU, and Sam Waterson plays a great asshole per usual. It does list Kathy Bates as being in this film too, but she is in two short 3 minute scenes, an almost blink and you’ll miss it part. But she’s fine in it too.

I really only have one complaint about the film, and that is Cailee Spaeny, who plays Ruth’s 15 year old daughter at the time, Jane. Here’s the problem with that. By my calculations, Ruth Bader Ginsberg was 37 at the time her daughter was 15. Now, Felicity Jones is really 35, so being two years older is not a stretch for her or anyone. But Cailee Spaeny is 21…playing a 15 year old… When watching the film (she spouts out her character’s exact age at one point), I did not for one second believe she was 15 and I didn’t know that the actress was 21 at the time (I did research to see if my feelings were true). Her acting is just too mature for the role. She definitely doesn’t look 15 either. It’s the same problem I had with some of the Spider-Man films, specifically the Tobey Maguire ones. Tobey Maguire was 28 when he first played Spider-Man…and they started Peter Parker’s story when he was still in high school, 17-18. I didn’t for one second believe that Maguire was the age he was supposed to be playing in those films. Surely there was another 15 year old out there that could’ve played Jane and have her youthful looks be more convincing for the role with the same acting experience? The point is, I never believed that Jane was Ruth’s daughter in this. Felicity Jones and Cailee Spaeny look like sisters rather Mother and Daughter. Took me out of the film a couple of times.

But anyone reading this could chalk that up to a minor complaint, and I agree, it is. The movie is entertaining start to finish, it a lot of fun at times, and it is well acted. What more could anyone want? I’m not going to bash or discredit the movie for not being as monumental as Ruth Bader Ginsberg life probably really was. The filmmakers knew that the documentary was coming out, so they told a smaller section of her gigantic story. If there was anything I would’ve recommended to them before they released it is that I would’ve taken out the “in summary” title cards about the rest of her life. Doing that could peak younger people’s interest in her and do some digging to figure out that information all on their own. Or maybe seek out the RBG doc as a nice one two punch of a double feature. The should’ve left it just at the final shot, with a much older Ruth climbing up the Supreme Court steps, and hint hint, it isn’t Felicity Jones in make up. So if the real Ruth Bader Ginsberg agreed to a cameo, surely that marks her stamp of approval? Because, and let’s get real here, she doesn’t need the paycheck.

My Zany Review of those Zany Golden Globe Awards Last Night…

Everybody hates the Golden Globes. If you look at the commentary on social media, Entertainment Review sites, and random blogs that happen to talk about the Hollywood Foreign Press…they think the entire ceremony is a joke. That it doesn’t predict what is going to happen on Oscar night (slightly not true). That it’s just a laid back awards show that gets a bunch of booze into those celebrities that clamor for it (slightly true). What do I think? The Golden Globes can go both ways. I think that they are slightly more serious now than when I was younger (like when The Tourist was nominated for Best Comedy…) but time and again they have those weird categories that certain films should never be in (aka The Martian as Best Comedy or A Star Is Born and Bohemian Rhapsodies not being in the Best Musical Category). I do think however it does in a way show of what is to come. Mainly that people are finally starting to realize how overrated A Star Is Born truly is.

I think the A Star Is Born buzz came about because of millennials. On all these sites, some of these really dumb moviegoers are crying that it is “the best drama since Titanic.” But then when you tell them that the movie has been made three times before and this is the third remake, they look at you dumbfounded and just brush it off. If the Golden Globes proved anything last night is that the star that Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga were certain they would fly across the sky on, is dwindling, and it is dwindling fast. And good riddance. I liked A Star Is Born, but I only liked it enough to the point that my fondness for it has been in further decline every time I hear someone say it is the end all be all of drama films. It’s not. Watch the first one from 1937 or the Judy Garland one from 1954. Those are classic renditions of the story line and characters. I don’t get the love for this Bradley Cooper version at all. Is it because Lady Gaga keeps repeating the same damn speech about “99 people that don’t believe in you, but then there is that one that does” over and over again?

Look, she’s going to win an Oscar for the song ‘Shallow.’ And even I’ll admit it will be well deserved. I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t acknowledge that, for I hum and sing the song all the time in the damn shower. Point is, she is going to win an award FOR SOMETHING SHE IS QUALIFIED For. I’m not saying she is never going to be qualified as an actress, but to give her an Oscar for acting for her first ever role, when in my opinion, she was only okay in it, is ridiculous. There is only room for growth now. As for the film itself, the direction was no where near the caliber of where people are saying it is at. For Bradley Cooper, it is a solid debut effort. It isn’t Oscar worthy, and for me, it’s a little above mediocre point and shoot style mainly only due to the performances other than Gaga, including his own. Last night, the Best Director award went to the right person, Alfanso Cuaron for Roma. You can’t “boo” that decision until you’ve seen the film. There are some damn fine exquisite shots in there that I don’t think Cooper has the talent to pull off right now.

So I guess you could say in summation that I was very happy with the Golden Globes last night. Especially when A Star Is Born didn’t win best picture. Now I would’ve rather had Blackkklansman, or Black Panther or even If Beale Street Could talk win (all three of those films are above and beyond better than A Star Is Born), but honestly, I’ll take Bohemian Rhapsody since it did beat out A Star Is Born (Bohemian Rhapsody I also feel was above and beyond better than Cooper’s film). As for this Bohemian Rhapsody controversy? It’s stupid. Yes, Bryan Singer has been charged twice for being a pedophile a couple of years ago (one case was dismissed and the other was dropped altogether) and when news came he was fired off the set of Bohemian Rhapsody, there came yet another allegation of him fondling some 17 year old at a party a few years ago (we have yet to see what will come of that case). Singer was fired from the set due to constant bickering between him and star Rami Malek, and also that Singer was reportedly either always let to the shoots or sometimes didn’t even show up at all. Aka, he deserved to be fired if what I’ve heard is true.

This whole awards season, fuck, even the marketing for Bohemian Rhapsody has been trying as much as possible to not even make mention of Bryan Singers name. The ONLY reason why his directorial credit remains on that film, and not Dexter Fletcher’s, is because of guild rules and legal reasons. If a director shoots more than 50% of a movie, they get sole directorial credit, and Singer had shot all but two weeks left of the film. The posters did not have his name on it, his name was barely mentioned in interviews, Bryan Singer did not go on the marketing tour of the film, the only thing his name shows up on is the directed by, at the end of the movie, and even then, I think the movie was edited to get that in and out of the finished film faster than any other name shown in the credits. You can tell that the producers of the film would’ve put Fletcher’s name on their if they could, rules just wouldn’t permit them to. So they did what they had to do. Case in point, when Malek won last night and win the film one for Best Drama and producer Graham King accepted the Oscar, neither one even uttered Singer’s name, let alone thank him.

So to say that the movie winning is controversial because of one possible (not legally proved in court yet) pedophile’s semi involvement is the most idiot thing to utter from anyone’s breath. A movie is not the heart and soul of just one person. You know the Marvel movies, where you stay until the after credits scene, and you wait patiently for about 6 to 10 minutes, seeing all those names go by? Yeah, those people worked on the film too. And they worked hard. And I’m sure that even though the producer gets the award in the end, ANYONE in the thousands involved in the production last night had a grin ear to ear when they heard the film’s name as the winner last night. It was their hard work being recognized. Even saying it was controversial because most critics were split on the film is stupid. The film has made nearly $200 million domestic and is now the highest grossing musical biopic of all time, so obviously some people are really digging the film. Me personally? I thought it was only okay, and it would’ve been meh if it hadn’t been for Rami Malek. Out of the awards it one, there should be NO controversy that he won for his performance. He was out-fucking-standing in that role and deserves that Academy Award if he happens to win over Bale and Cooper on Oscar night. On Bohemian Rhapsody as a whole, it’s just a standard rise and fall biopic that you’ve seen many and many times before. If the story would’ve just focused on Mercury and dug a little deeper into his troubled private life, it could’ve been outstanding. It was only okay for me, but a lot of people seem to be loving it, and that is okay. At least this isn’t the 4th rendition of his story to hit the big screen.

As for all the other winners: perfectly happy with. Especially Regina King for If Beale Street Could Talk. Amy Adams will get her statue one day, and probably for a film that is better than Vice, even though I personally loved it. Amy Adams is this generations’s Kate Winslet or Meryl Streep. Will eventually win a statue for something, but be constantly nominated and not win. Regina King owned that role on Beale Street, and I hope she wins. I’d be okay with Adams too. And I’m okay with Mahershala Ali even though he won a couple of years ago for Moonlight (Academy Awards wise, he didn’t win the Golden Globe). But I think the Oscar will go to Richard E. Grant for Can You Ever Forgive Me? He is God damn phenomenal in that film, so is McCarthy, and if you haven’t seen that film or Green Book you need to go out to the theater immediately and try to catch it.

Green Book was my favorite film of 2018, so I was thrilled when it won Best Comedy and took home the Screenplay award as well. I know some others weren’t thrilled and were hoping it went to The Favourite, but I thought that film was overrated as well and only okay, even though I thought Olivia Coleman definitely deserved that award. I have yet to see The Wife (I will Jan 29th), but when has Glenn Close phoned in a role? Seriously, when? Look at her entire career, even her performances in 101 Dalmations and Air Force One. Her complete A game in every single picture she as done. I’m sure she is nothing less than perfect in The Wife, and definitely deserved to win over Gaga, especially when you look at her entire career as a whole (Close has been nominated for 6 Oscars, never won, so don’t give it to newbie Gaga). Seriously, I’m done with A Star Is Born at this point. Oh, I almost forgot to mention…HELL YES to Spider-Man Into The Spider-Verse winning best animated feature over the only okay Incredibles 2. I hope that the Oscars gets it right as well. A spectacular animated film!

So yeah, those are my thoughts on the winners in the movies category. Very pleased indeed. This is the part where I’d write about 10 more paragraphs on the Television categories, but to tell you the truth, I didn’t watch 95% of what was nominated, so who gives a fuck about my opinion on those? In summation, fine with all the winners there too. What were your thoughts on both the Movies and Television winners? I’d like to know! If you expected a review on the show in general, like Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh as hosts, look elsewhere. I’m very proud that Sandra Oh won for her role on Killing Eve, but her hosting skills, along with her jokes with Andy Samberg, were really hit or miss…mostly miss. I will review my thoughts on the SAG winners combined with whatever wins awards from the Directors Guild, Writers guild, Producers Guild, etc. in a separate mid awards season post, and then a final post after Oscars night. Until then, you still have time to try and catch up before Feb 24th! Don’t waste it!