Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: LIFE OF THE PARTY (a Rhyme Review, spoiler free)

Another negative review, for that I am sorry,
But I am about to bash the new film LIFE OF THE PARTY.
It stars Melissa McCarthy as a mom going back to college,
Her daughter in tow, archaeology part of her knowledge,
To be blunt, the movie isn’t funny,
The son of a bitch stole my time and my money,
I know it was geared towards Mother’s Day weekend,
But with only Breaking In, the film lineup was quite thinned,
But I’m not giving Hollywood the benefit of the doubt,
They know better than this shit, need to take a different route.

What blindsides me even more is the writers and director,
It was McCarthy herself, bringing her husband as a connector,
But those two have proven their collaborative efforts are crap,
With Tammy and The Boss being before, Admiral Ackbar screaming “It’s a Trap!”
The film is entirely ad-libbed, scenes going on for far too long,
It’s like they only had a two page script, hoping they could do no wrong,
But the ad-libbing doesn’t work if the chemistry isn’t there,
All the characters one dimensional, very dull and very square,
The conversation and banter didn’t make a whole lot of sense,
Trying to use cliched confrontations to make funny situations tense.

Gillian Jacobs didn’t seem to want to be there, taking just her paycheck,
She probably read the script beforehand, knew it was a clear train wreck.
The only actress that had any energy was SNL’s Maya Rudolph,
But she was barely in it, only there to yell and chew heads off,
Melissa McCarthy does nothing new here, just the same old clueless character,
One though that isn’t rude or crude, hoping that the audience will register
It didn’t work for me, it could for you, if you brought your daughter or Mom,
But males in general won’t get anything out of this film, we know its a bomb,
I’m glad that McCarthy and Ben Falcone are keeping their marriage together,
But next time stay out of the movies, try S&M with a whip made of leather.


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