Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: I FEEL PRETTY

Let’s get this straight on you would be filmmakers/movie lovers out there: It doesn’t matter if you have one of the greatest upbeat messages in the world combined with two really good actresses at the forefront of your project, if you screenplay sucks, your movie is going to suck. That is the case with I FEEL PRETTY, where the first half of the film is light, enjoyable, and chuckle worthy, but the last half is absolutely stupid and horrendous, falling into many pitfalls that so many movies have done before it. Thus, it makes the movie unbearable to ever watch again. And the movie does have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful message. Not to just women, to anyone with self image or self esteem issues or victims up body shaming or a combination of them all. But a message doesn’t make a movie. I’m sorry, it doesn’t.

I just can’t believe the filmmakers had this wonderful premise (even though you could completely argue that it is basically a remake of BIG, with a self image twist; I did like that the movie basically recognized that fact and made fun of it at a chuckle worthy scene) and completely fucked it up. A girl (played wonderfully and with such vivacity by Amy Schumer) with body/self esteem/what have you issues, hits her head and she think she’s sees herself as this gorgeous woman (even though everyone else sees her the same as she was) and her confidence is so heightened to the point of she gets everything that she has been dreaming/wishing for. You can make a great, great movie out of that, even though the “what if?” premise is kind of familiar.

And I was slowly getting into the movie being a passable one time watch, cute little what if chick flick. But then the second act comes along, and just butt fucks everything to death. Does any of this sound familiar? Her confidence eventually causes conflict between her and her old friends. She gets a dorky guy near the beginning of the film but is tempted by the hot brother of the magazine owner she works for, leading to a very predictable and unnecessary love triangle. She finds a way to hit her head again only when the plot needs it and loses her vision of herself as beautiful and loses her confidence. But then she realizes she had the confidence inside her self all along, yada yada yada, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

All of that is screenwriting 101. If you want to make original films and not have every audience member and every critic out there shit all over your films, you cannot go by that book anymore. You could get away with it up until the millennium. Now if you do it, it is unforgivable and looked on as lazy and incompetent. There HAS to have been a way to come to the same conclusion without writing cliche after cliche after cliche of shit we have seen time and time and time again. People come up with interesting twists on genres all the time, why couldn’t they have here? It is as if the screenwriters had this idea, and then decided to watch Big, and then just ripped off every conflict and story beat it had. IT IS THE EXACT SAME MOVIE BUT WITH A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT PREMISE!

The message I still like though. And also, Amy Schumer and Michelle Williams almost make the movie worth watching. This is a step up from Schumer’s last movie Snatched, but now I’m starting to think that after Trainwreck, she might be a one hit wonder. My suggestions for her is to go back to writing screenplays herself and then starring in them. Trainwreck was wonderful, why hasn’t she kept the writing up? I can forgive her because she didn’t write this or the trainwreck that was Snatched, shouldn’t this be the hint that she needs to go back to her computer and crank out a new, original comedy? Michelle Williams is the best part of this film, and if you want to watch it, it would only be for her weird, awkward, hilarious performance. I think she just wanted to take a break from all the bleak and somber drama films she’s been doing lately and just let loose and have fun. It shows here how much fun she had and how much of an incredible actress she still is. I can’t believe she was on Dawson’s Creek.

And way I feel that I will never ever watch I Feel Pretty ever again. If I do see it, it will be in clips on You Tube of Michelle Williams zany performance. I went into this movie because my wife wanted to see it and I think the model turned actress Emily Ratajowski is pretty hot (warning, even though she is third or fourth billed she is in only like three small scenes). I had low expectations, and this film didn’t even near reach them. And I’m really disappointed because, like I’m going to say for the 100th time, it really does have a great message at it’s core. With movies, we expect them to be like Tootsie Pops, you lick until you get to the treat at the center.  But, like here, if that Tootsie Pop was made of shit and you had to lick, lick, and lick to get to the golden wonderful center…would you even bother taking off the wrapper?

 

 

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