Zach’s Zany SPOILER FILLED HALF REVIEW OF STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI.

WARNING!!!! DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN STAR WARS EPISODE VIII THE LAST JEDI. I WILL BASICALLY RUIN EVERY PLOT POINT, TWIST, TURN, SURPRISE, YOU NAME IT. I’M DISCUSSING WHAT I THOUGHT OF ALL THESE, AND IN PARTICULAR, WHY THEY ALL MAKE SENSE IN CONTEXT WITH THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE.

Well, I got kind of peeved at a lot of people (aka Modern Audiences) this weekend when I found out that the Rotten Tomatoes Audience Scores on The Last Jedi weren’t very good at all, in fact, the worst of the entire saga, which is bullshit because Attack of the Clones sucks, and no piece of dialogue can be worse than the sand between Anakin and Padme. So when I started writing this, I got pissed and stopped because I didn’t think I could explain my love for this movie spoiler wise and I just didn’t want to share because I got mad at whoever wasn’t liking this film for stupid fan boy reasons, thinking they didn’t deserve my review because they would just bitch at my reasons anyway. So, I am posting what I wrote, and then after I stopped I am going to give a link to an article where this one reviewer that used to be on Aint It Cool News (who left because of Harry Knowles sexual harassment scandal) wrote a very short piece why all the things that happen in the Last Jed are perfect. He basically wrote what I was going to once I stopped writing. So I’m just going to link to that and that is basically what I thought of the entire movie spoiler wise. I am over my madness, realize that modern audience are sort of dumb and will always be that way, and I still love The Last Jedi, and the only one that can take away my love for it…is me. Which I won’t, so here you go!

So now that we got that out of the way, let’s dive right in. You are at your own risk at this point. I’m not necessarily going to review the film again. I am going to go step by step through the film, beginning to end, what I thought was amazing, and the little tiny bits that I could’ve done without. If you go to my Facebook page, you’ll see its #1 on my top ten of 2017, so if you want to read what I really thought of the film technically and non spoiler-y achievement wise, read my original review:

Opening Crawl: Was glad that Rian Johnson actually gave a pretty decent realistic opening crawl considering that the film opens up several minutes before the Force Awakens Actually Ends

First scene: Resistance Escape From Q’Dar

Loved that Rian Johnson decided to give us a pretty awesome opening space battle right after the crawl instead of going to Luke and Rey like many thought he was going to. Already subverting our expectations. The battle above Q’Dar (the resistance base in Force Awakens) is spectacular. The effects are top notch and the drama is intensified ten-fold, especially that last undestroyed bomber that hold’s Rose’s sister (it is revealed it is her sister shortly after meeting Rose later). Poe’s desperate move to kill a First Order Dreadnaught was slick and yet you didn’t know whether you agreed with his decision or not. You could tell that Leia couldn’t really decide either.

Only thing I didn’t like about this scene was the overextended humor bit between Poe and General Hux. There is basically a ‘your mother’ joke in there that could’ve been left out. I understand he was trying to stall for time to get ready to attack the dreadnaught but the joke of faking not able to hear Hux went a little bit to long. I did chuckle at first, but then was like, “ok, enough, let’s go” Fortunately it did.

After the battle goes not in the First Order’s Favor seeing Holographic Snoke come on the screen and reveal very early that he has Force powers and uses them on us was nice and unexpected. Those going, how can you use the force through a hologram, remember that Vader did it via viewscreen in Empire.

Second Scene: Rey’s First Meeting With Luke

Again, this subverts our expectations. Did not expect Luke, after being handed the lightsaber by Rey, to just chuck it across his shoulder like he doesn’t give a damn. The only thing that I didn’t like about this scene was I couldn’t tell if throwing the lightsaber away was supposed to be meant for laughs. I took it seriously but a lot of the audience members didn’t and snickered. Should’ve been more dramatic. Maybe by being really angry and instead of tossing it over his shoulder trying to throw it as far as he could.

You can tell that Luke is deeply disturbed and that he came to the island to die (which he specifically tells us later). Him seeing Chewie, boarding the Falcon again, and then reunited with R2-D2 were nice touches, especially when R2 tries to get him to join by showing Princess Leia’s original message from A New Hope. I love the way he is still kind of a tormented soul, by still not joining, and teaching lessons to Rey about why the Jedi need to end, his failure as a Jedi, and what the Force all truly means, and that the Jedi got it wrong. Love, love, LOVE, this. Playing with our expectations, didn’t see any of this coming. Mark Hamill’s acting in this entire film is top notch, and he could’ve had a hell of a career is he had just been this kind of intense and dramatic.

Intermission – PORGS: I think audiences are dividing by these things. Some found them cute and adorable, others thought they brought too much humor into the film. While I agree there is a little too much humor outright and not subtle in this film, the worst of it didn’t come from the Porgs. They are in very few scenes and weren’t jarring at all. I liked how some were real and mechanical. I ultimately thought they were cute but really unnecessary, a marketing ploy to sell a shit ton of Porg toys.

Resistance Vs. The First Order: The Main Plot

The main plot of the Resistance Vs. The First Order is that even though the resistance initially got away from them in lightspeed, the The First Order found a way to track them while they are in lightspeed (a very interesting dynamic and totally embraced by me). Once the are found, they only have enough fuel for one more jump into hyperspace, but now knowing that The First Order can track them, instead just try to stay barely ahead of them where there blasts don’t effect the shields on their ships until they can figure out a plan.

This is where Finn, Rose, and Poe’s main mission comes in. I won’t get all into how they figure out a solution that leads them to Canto Bight and find a codebreaker played by Benicio Del Toro, but needless to say, I loved every minute of it. Some people thought the entire Canto Bight scene could’ve been scrapped, but then just finding a codebreaker would’ve been too easy, and I understand that Rian Johnson was just showing us another cool and deceitful part of the galaxy. I have read the new canon novel called Canto Bight, and it was interesting for me to actually see the big bright city on the greenscreen, so that is probably why I liked seeing that, and that racing Fathiers on the big screen.

Ugh, this is all taking too long right? Let me get down to some basics.

Yes, I agree with all of you that the Leia Marry Poppins Space Force thing was a little too over dramatic. They should’ve just had her escape the room in time, the ceiling about to fall on her outside the room or something, and at the last minute uses what she has of the Force in her to keep it from crushing her. She moves it out of the way, only for a small chunk to fall off and hit her over the head. That’s the only part of this film I disagree with. While it did’t jar me, it could’ve been handled better. I don’t disagree with Leia having force powers, I disagree with the way it was shown.

Captain Phasma is again wasted here. She has even less screen time here than she did the Force Awakens. She just shows up at the end to battle Finn, and Finn kills her. This is one of my few complaints about the film in that it is the waste of such a cool looking character, an actress playing that character, an I final confrontation that could’ve lasted longer. Especially if you read that Canon novel about her and the comic on how she got out of the trash compactor on Starkiller Base. She seemed way too bad ass to be defeated that easily. Oh well.

Grey Jedi: Hey I barely need to talk about this because they didn’t bring it into the movie! Thank God, instead they do something with a familiar face saying how failure is the greatest teacher and that Luke’s failure of creating a new Jedi order can teach Rey a lesson now to save Luke’s soul. Speaking of that familiar face….

Yoda: Yep, Yoda shows up as a Force Ghost. And while I liked what he did and talked about with Luke, his actual physical appearance is somewhat jarring. Yeah, the puppet is back, but the fucking puppet looks nothing like it did in the first cut of The Phantom Menace, The Empire, or even Return of the Jedi. Looks brand new and a little awkward. Other than that, I liked that they brought the Force Ghost back. And to people whining about it. The Force Ghost wasn’t really created until Qui Gon Jinn died, so only him, Anakin, Yoda, Obi-Wan, and another character at the end of this movie, are able to do that. So those of you saying why aren’t there a bunch of them, well there you go. Pay attention to the fucking movies.

SNOKE DIES!!!! LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED this twist and how it plays out. Loved his death by Kylo Ren being cut in half. Completely blew away expectations. Did you think you were going to learn more about him? Nope, fuck you, probably will have to read a book or maybe something will be revealed in the next movie. We didn’t know much about the origin of the Emperor until the prequels were made, so do we really need to know everything about Snoke. Ever since the television show LOST promised us answers but didn’t ultimately give us that much, people have been expecting for everything to be explained. And it doesn’t have to be. I’m sure we’ll learn more about Snoke eventually. He was a cool villain. All of his scenes are menacing and he seemed very smart, and the fact that he was killed made everything that much sweeter.

Kylo Ren becoming the new Supereme Leader: you thought he was going to turn good when he killed Snoke and was fighting alongside Rey against the Paetorian Guards, but when they are alone, he reveals he just wants more power and to rule the galaxy. Loved that triple cross.

Balance of the Force: Loved the reveal of Rey’s parents being nobodies. That she is her own entity. And that she suddenly got so damn stronger in the Force in Force Awakens because Luke had completely shut himself off from it, so with Kylo and Snoke being so strong, there had to be a balance, and she was it. They could’ve brought in Grey Jedi who know both the light and the dark side to bring balance, but I liked this balance of power explanation much, much better.

THIS IS WHEN I SAW THE AUDIENCE SCORE ON ROTTEN TOMATOES AND STOPPED. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, LET ME LET ERIC VESPE explain in a short article, why everything else I didn’t explain, made complete sense in this saga:

http://www.roosterteeth.com/post/51552869

 

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