Tag: PVOD

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: LOST GIRLS & LOVE HOTELS

Harsh critics of Lost In Translation: “What the fuck? Nothing happens in this movie!!!” LOST GIRLS & LOVE HOTELS: “Hold my beer.” This new movie, which was filmed back in 2017 but is finally getting distributed, wasn’t supposed to come to streaming platforms till 9/18. Apparently VUDU didn’t get that memo. To be fair, September 4th was its original release but I think it got delayed because it didn’t want to compete with Tenet, Mulan, New Mutants, & the beginning of The Boys Season 2 for your attention (even though you probably have no clue what this film even is), so they moved it to a date where nothing new comes into theaters. I’m guessing that VUDU didn’t change the film’s date…probably because who’s ever in charge with programming on the website, again, doesn’t even know what this fucking film is to care. It stars Baywatch’s, True Detective Season One Episode Two’s, and Percy’s Jackson’s Alexandra Daddario and if I had to describe it without any details of a plot it would be: Lost In Translation meets a softer core version of 50 Shades of Grey. And literally almost nothing happens in the movie. Well, stuff happens, but I didn’t get anything out of it like I did Lost In Translation. I ended up just buying this on VUDU really quick and watching it, because neither of my boss’s are here at work today (Labor Day weekend), and I’ve already done what I needed to get done work load wise. I bought instead of rented, because I had a $3 VUDU credit, and to own this was only $3 more than rental. Plus, I mean…Daddario does get nude in it (hardly though, lower your expectations), which is her first time since her um…debut…in True Detective Season One Episode Two. You know that scene. In fact, I’m calling it now: #ReleaseTheDaddarioDDCut, because this film is so choppy, meaning it’s editing is a bit much in some scenes, that it seems like all the sex parts were cut for content. Possibly at Daddario’s shy request? I doubt we will ever find out.

But let me get to the positives. First off, this movie isn’t terrible. Alexandra Daddario easily gives the best performance of her career in it. This is the first film I didn’t just see her as “Alexandra Daddario.” To me, that’s a huge accomplishment. In fact, all the acting is pretty damn decent. The film also has some gorgeous shots and cinematography. And some of the situational narrative elements work, but only some. And that’s pretty much it. If you are coming for a decent story to go along with the acting and imagery, look far far elsewhere. In terms of story…whoa…IMDB has a long summary for this, so I’m just going to use that because it would take me about three paragraphs to describe anything of value that happens in this movie and I’d end up just spoiling it: “Margaret (Alexandra Daddario) finds herself in the glittering labyrinth of Tokyo by night and as a respected English teacher of a Japanese flight attendant academy by day. With little life direction, Margaret searches for meaning with fellow ex-pats (Carice Van Houten) in a Japanese dive bar, drinking to remember to forget and losing herself in love hotel encounters with men who satisfy a fleeting craving. When Margaret crosses paths with a dashing Yakuza, Kazu (Takehiro Hira), she falls in love with him despite the danger and tradition that hinders their chances of being together. We follow Margaret through the dark and light of love and what it means to find oneself abroad with a youthful abandon. Helmed by award winning director William Olsson (Reliance), and written by Catherine Hanrahan, Adapted from her acclaimed novel; Lost Girls and Love Hotels.”

Has anyone even heard of this novel? I think its Canadian. I had no idea the author adapted the screenplay from her own book until I just looked it up, but even if she wasn’t, I can probably guarantee you the book is better, because it probably has more what’s and why’s of the inner turmoil of the main character. I felt her plight in this, but I wasn’t convinced by it, if that makes any sense. She just goes and has a lot of dark bondage sex with random Japanese men but I don’t feel that her depression is quite earned in this movie, she needed more of a backstory. We get some, but it’s fleeting and it doesn’t much explain why she does what she does. Unless I missed something. There is some narration at the beginning, parts of the middle, and end of the movie, and I feel as though the movie should’ve been either narrated completely throughout it, or we should’ve gotten a couple of flashbacks to fit more narrative pieces of the puzzle together. This isn’t supposed to be Tenet for God’s sake. Oh well look-e-here…doing some research on the novel, THERE ARE FLASHBACKS IN IT!!! And the flashbacks explain her depression and deep dives into the reasoning of her dark sides of life. WHY WEREN’T THESE INCLUDED IN THE MOVIE?!? Budget perhaps? Even so, if these scenes were filmed and cut…why? If they weren’t…WHY? This would’ve made me more emotionally invested in everything, the “plot,” the characters…I don’t understand what went wrong here. When this movie is officially released, I have a feeling a lot of other critics that watch this will have the same pros and cons as I. The movie is shot well, the acting is solid, the chemistry between Daddario and Takehiro Hira is solid as well, but the movie’s substance is very lacking, making it seem like not much takes place, except for one little minor scuffle at the end. I wanted to love this movie…but most of its structure was…pun intended…lost in translation for me.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: I SEE YOU

Ah, to be back in the good old days of having a well known actor or actress be front and center in relation to a direct to video films marketing campaign only to have them not be in the movie all that much and the movie ends up sucking ass (we are mostly looking at you Bruce Willis!!!). However, when the movie is actually quite good, you almost might not notice it. That is fortunately the case with the new movie I SEE YOU and Oscar winning actress Helen Hunt, who is front and center on the cover of the film, the marketing, etc. She is in the movie more than just an extended cameo, but only in a handful of scenes in the first half and barely in the second (although a juicy mid film twist provides a great explanation as to why). My guess is that they paid her enough money to have her on set for a couple of days only, when they could’ve given the role to any unknown older woman and the film would’ve had the same effect. This was so the filmmakers could boast that they have a recognizable award winner in their project to get enough interest going for fingers to initially hit that oh so magical play button. And then somehow the filmmakers knew the film, story and twist wise, would keep that finger from hitting the dreaded stop or pause button midway through. Hey, it worked on me.

When I saw this featured on VUDU’s main page of popular thrillers to rent/buy, I read the premise, and to me it read like oh so many haunted house mystery thrillers have done before. But the Rotten Tomatoes score was decent and then my eyes stopped on Helen Hunt’s name and image on the preview cover and I said, “oh look, Helen Hunt…I haven’t personally seen her in much since she won Best Actress for As Good As It Gets, maybe the script was enough to get her on board!” I’m glad the bait and switch marketing got me to watch it, as other than the lack of her in it, the story and suspense had enough going for it for me to give this a solid recommendation. Per IMDB, the log line for the film reads: “Strange occurrences plague a small town detective and his family as he investigates the disappearance of a young boy.” What that log line doesn’t tell you is that strange occurrences really just happen in this family’s home, the first half of the movie trying to play with the fact the house is haunted. The first half of the film is enjoyable enough and the occurrences were strange enough to keep my interest, and distract me from the fact of just how old Helen Hunt has become and her obvious plastic surgery, but then a mid film twists changes everything. And the movies wheels don’t stop turning (twists on top of twists) until the end credits. This is a rare case where the twist really did make the movie.

And I’m not going to get into that twist here. It really works and the second half of the film is very, very solid because of it. This is writer’s Devon Graye’s first screenplay, and I haven’t heard of anything that director Adam Randall has done before, but this direct to streaming feature is good enough to make me seek out anything that they do in the future. If you look at IMDB and VUDU’s page for this film, you might notice that it says this film is a 2019 film. So why am I reviewing it here? Just like Just Mercy & Portrait Of A Lady On Fire, which I reviewed not too long ago, the line between it being a 2019/2020 film is blurred, and since it’s the year of COVID-19, I need to make an exception every now and then. If I had any complaints about the movie it would be that the pacing in the first half seemed to be off and all over the place, but then again, the mid act twist sort of reveals that pacing to have an explanation to exist, so I’m not sure what I’m really getting at. Maybe not so many quick cuts? Let the scenes breathe a little and the director could’ve still not given anything away. The acting is pretty good here too. Although Helen Hunt is only okay even though she is front and center on marketing, the supporting characters, played by some recognizable faces such as Owen Teague (It Chapter One) and Judah Lewis (Netflix’s The Babysitter), more than make up for her absence. It’s just a solid direct to streaming feature I had never heard of that I just happened to come upon. Life’s little surprises, who knew?