Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: I SEE YOU

Ah, to be back in the good old days of having a well known actor or actress be front and center in relation to a direct to video films marketing campaign only to have them not be in the movie all that much and the movie ends up sucking ass (we are mostly looking at you Bruce Willis!!!). However, when the movie is actually quite good, you almost might not notice it. That is fortunately the case with the new movie I SEE YOU and Oscar winning actress Helen Hunt, who is front and center on the cover of the film, the marketing, etc. She is in the movie more than just an extended cameo, but only in a handful of scenes in the first half and barely in the second (although a juicy mid film twist provides a great explanation as to why). My guess is that they paid her enough money to have her on set for a couple of days only, when they could’ve given the role to any unknown older woman and the film would’ve had the same effect. This was so the filmmakers could boast that they have a recognizable award winner in their project to get enough interest going for fingers to initially hit that oh so magical play button. And then somehow the filmmakers knew the film, story and twist wise, would keep that finger from hitting the dreaded stop or pause button midway through. Hey, it worked on me.

When I saw this featured on VUDU’s main page of popular thrillers to rent/buy, I read the premise, and to me it read like oh so many haunted house mystery thrillers have done before. But the Rotten Tomatoes score was decent and then my eyes stopped on Helen Hunt’s name and image on the preview cover and I said, “oh look, Helen Hunt…I haven’t personally seen her in much since she won Best Actress for As Good As It Gets, maybe the script was enough to get her on board!” I’m glad the bait and switch marketing got me to watch it, as other than the lack of her in it, the story and suspense had enough going for it for me to give this a solid recommendation. Per IMDB, the log line for the film reads: “Strange occurrences plague a small town detective and his family as he investigates the disappearance of a young boy.” What that log line doesn’t tell you is that strange occurrences really just happen in this family’s home, the first half of the movie trying to play with the fact the house is haunted. The first half of the film is enjoyable enough and the occurrences were strange enough to keep my interest, and distract me from the fact of just how old Helen Hunt has become and her obvious plastic surgery, but then a mid film twists changes everything. And the movies wheels don’t stop turning (twists on top of twists) until the end credits. This is a rare case where the twist really did make the movie.

And I’m not going to get into that twist here. It really works and the second half of the film is very, very solid because of it. This is writer’s Devon Graye’s first screenplay, and I haven’t heard of anything that director Adam Randall has done before, but this direct to streaming feature is good enough to make me seek out anything that they do in the future. If you look at IMDB and VUDU’s page for this film, you might notice that it says this film is a 2019 film. So why am I reviewing it here? Just like Just Mercy & Portrait Of A Lady On Fire, which I reviewed not too long ago, the line between it being a 2019/2020 film is blurred, and since it’s the year of COVID-19, I need to make an exception every now and then. If I had any complaints about the movie it would be that the pacing in the first half seemed to be off and all over the place, but then again, the mid act twist sort of reveals that pacing to have an explanation to exist, so I’m not sure what I’m really getting at. Maybe not so many quick cuts? Let the scenes breathe a little and the director could’ve still not given anything away. The acting is pretty good here too. Although Helen Hunt is only okay even though she is front and center on marketing, the supporting characters, played by some recognizable faces such as Owen Teague (It Chapter One) and Judah Lewis (Netflix’s The Babysitter), more than make up for her absence. It’s just a solid direct to streaming feature I had never heard of that I just happened to come upon. Life’s little surprises, who knew?

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: FIRST COW

FIRST COW is a good movie to be sure, a very slow burn that rewards the viewer’s patience in the second half, however I’m not so sure I’d go as far to say it’s Oscar worthy. It’s a solid film I’d likely watch a few more times, but I can’t see it’s name being called when the Best Picture winner is announced later next year. It’s not Oscar worthy to me because of a few complaints I’ll get to here in a minute, and I feel that maybe I watched the film after already being on board the over hype train the past couple of months. It was quickly taken out of theaters because of the pandemic and the studio was waiting to see if theaters would open up soon after so that they could just put it back in. Alas, it was not meant to be. The critics and others who saw it though praised it as the film that could “go all the way to gold this year.” A24 finally gave up and released it VOD back on July 10th. I finally got around to watching it yesterday. And yes, I enjoyed it. The acting is solid and so is the friendship between the two lead characters, but it felt like a couple of things were missing. Namely, this film does that thing that I absolutely hate: it shows a scene way way way in the future and then it goes back in time and tells the story to get to that place in time. Only movie off the top of my head that does this where I ended up forgiving it was Inception. To me, when you do that, it takes out the mystery of what might have happened to these characters, unless a twist is revealed showing that what you saw you didn’t really see (i.e. Inception). But this being a drama, there is no twist. It is what it is.

Per IMDB, its log line for First Cow is as follows: “A skilled cook has traveled west and joined a group of fur trappers in Oregon, though he only finds true connection with a Chinese immigrant also seeking his fortune. Soon the two collaborate on a successful business.” That successful business is basically stealing milk from the one and only cow in the area and charging up the wazoo for homemade buttermilk biscuits. The movie is such a slow burn though that it really doesn’t get to the story until about an hour into the lengthy two hour film. There are a lot of shots that seemingly go on for minutes and some of them go nowhere. For instance, there is a two to three minute shot of a boat on a river. This is at the beginning of the film. It’s an establishing shot, but it shouldn’t have gone as long as it did. The film does this several times within the first hour, but thankfully in the second half, even though the long shots continue, they seem to actually have a purpose. Again, that is the reward for the viewers that have stuck with the film this far. The friendship between the Chinese immigrant and the skilled cook is the best part about this film, however when the film splits them apart several times, which it really shouldn’t have done (mostly in the climax of the film too), the pacing seemed to be a bit off for me. Maybe though that could just say something about the movie in that it successfully got me invested in the characters, where I really didn’t want them to split up. So in the end, consider that critique of mine minor.

However, other than the beginning flash forward of the film, the story, while solidly told, is very predictable and doesn’t really go the lengths it needed to, in my opinion. The beginning of the film, should’ve really been placed at the end and it would’ve had a more emotional impact for me. When it cuts to black/end credits, I said out loud, “yeah I know that’s it, but it shouldn’t be.” Again, you could see the film much more differently than I and might end up thinking I’m out of my mind. I have not seen director Kelly Reichardt’s other films, but she does an excellent job here. She knows how to frame a scene to show the viewer and not just tell what is going on. She just did a little too much of a slow burn though. She co-wrote the screenplay with the novels author, and it’s a solidly structured product, albeit a little too predictable for my tastes. I was trying to come up with a curve ball the story could’ve thrown at the characters, and came up with quite a few, yet the story unfortunately never went there, it just traveled down a path I’ve walked along too many times before while watching movies. The chemistry between actors John Magaro and Orion Lee is undeniable and is definitely worth the price of admission. That is to say if it does get nominated for a bunch of things next year, I wouldn’t be totally against it. I just feel it’s being a little overpraised for what it is. But I’m glad I watched it and will be watching it again if it does get nominated early next year, to see if I missed anything I didn’t catch on my first viewing. It wouldn’t be a first if that happens.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: THE BEACH HOUSE (Shudder)

So THE BEACH HOUSE is the first Shudder Original Film that has been making waves across all social media as actually being quite a decent little horror flick. Not only for the streaming service but as a film in general. So what do I do? My cheap ass signs up for the 7 day free trial, downloads the app, then cancels the membership immediately so it doesn’t charge me $5 a month when I forget about it in a week, watch only this film, and then delete the app and get it out of my life until the next buzzed about film comes out. Then I’ll just use a different e-mail to sign up. It’s in the 70 something percent range in Rotten Tomatoes so I thought people could’ve been right, then again, the horror film Relic released last week to rave reviews, and I didn’t care much for it. So what about The Beach House? I’ll answer that question with a question. Is it just me, or is everybody kind of tired of pandemic ‘horror’ films right now due to the situation we are in? If not, I certainly am. While the film is very adequately made, a half way decent slow burn, and makes good use of practical effects for once, when the end credits rolled, an “eh” escaped from my lips. While it is better than this past weekend’s Relic, I think I just am not into ‘pandemic like’ films right now, especially horror ones. Will it stay that way once this is all over? Right now, my gut tells me yes.

And that feeling is honestly being a little unfair to this movie. It was made long before COVID-19. It’s decent. And I’m going to go ahead and give it a recommendation to you, my zany readers, because it is more ambitious than the other shit I saw offered on Shudder as I scrolled around its library. And the practical effects, in the big pay off second half of the film, were very well done. Also this film has some gorgeous cinematography and shots. But kind of like, fuck, maybe almost exactly like Color Out Of Space, I didn’t really care for the characters and their plight, the dialogue, there was not enough that was explained, it didn’t have a clear set of rules, and the slow burn was a little too…well…”slow burn-y”? I definitely will not recommend that you watch this while eating or have just eaten. And I definitely will not recommend this to you if you in any way, shap, or form are either A. Squemish (especially right now with COVID-19) or B. Just tired of the pandemic so much that anything remotely even possibly relating to it will dig up bad memories for you. Other than that, if this description from IMDB peaks your interest, I will tell you to go ahead and give it a gander: “A romantic getaway for two troubled college sweethearts turns into a struggle for survival when unexpected guests – and the surrounding environment – exhibit signs of a mysterious infection.”Although I didn’t care for the characters, the actors were halfway decent, especially the lead girl, played by Liana Liberato. This would be director Jeffrey A. Brown’s first big break, as he’s directed only two other short films and has been a part of Location Management in big films like Spider-Man 3. He proves he has learned a lot being a part of the miscellaneous crew in a ton of other stuff as well. He definitely has an eye behind the camera.

But his screenplay writing, again, just like the duo that wrote Relic, needs a bit of work. On the other hand, maybe he wrote based off of budget, and if given a bigger budget before writing down the road, could do more unique things. Shit doesn’t finally start to go down until a little before half way through the film, and by then the ‘slow burn’ felt kind of tiresome, especially when the 45 minute set up didn’t have much in the way of character development to get you to care for anyone. And the pay offs were okay but not of the caliber that they needed to be. They needed more information and a grounded set of ‘virus’ narrative rules to function. If I were to watch this movie again it would only be for technical analysis and merit. And it isn’t like I don’t care for David Cronenberg-esque body horror, John Carpenter’s The Thing is one of my favorite films of all time, I just think right now isn’t the best time for me…or any one for that matter to be watching a film like this. Even though the body horror is nice and subtle, and it is only used when needed in its tight 87 minute run time. It doesn’t over do it. It’s a solid and noble effort, but just watching a film of that stature is not in my best interest based on how grumpy I have been since March of 2020. Fuck, even though I love the films Outbreak and Contagion, the only thing I can think about if I were to watch them right now is how badly I would want to throw something very, very hard at my television screen.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: PALM SPRINGS (Hulu)

Groundhog Day is the blueprint that all other “same day/time loop” films jump off of, correct? Asking for a friend. But being truthful, it really is. I can’t think of another time loop project that came out before Groundhog Day (upon doing some research, I found one short film and one television film that explored this concept briefly, but Groundhog Day was really the first theatrical endeavor). And all the other ones that came after, whether it be Before I Fall, Source Code, Happy Death Day among many others, only maybe Source Code has come even close to at least matching the masterful 1993 Bill Murray/Harold Ramis comedy. PALM SPRINGS just beat Source Code for me and is only a hair below Groundhog Day now. It is also now the best film of 2020 for me as well, as I don’t think I’ve enjoyed a straight to streaming title this much…since…well…EVER. It is a near perfect movie, with great set ups that provide great pay offs, huge laughs, incredible performances, and one hell of a tight 90 minute structure that I could’ve watched about an hour more of. I completely fell for this world and everything in it and know that in the future I will be watching Palm Springs over, and over, and over, and over again. I think repeat viewings will solidify how perfectly constructed this film is from start to finish. And it is likely to put a giant grin on your face, which is especially nice considering 2020 has been a total asshole to the entire world.

Per IMDB, it describes Palm Springs as: “When carefree Nyles and reluctant maid of honor Sarah have a chance encounter at a Palm Springs wedding, things get complicated as they are unable to escape the venue, themselves, or each other.” If you’ve seen any marketing for this movie, you’ll know that the “unable to escape” part is the time loop twist the story has where several individuals are reliving the same day over and over again. It’s not really even a spoiler at this point anymore because this film has been talked about so much (but the ending has not been so SHHHHH, please don’t ruin it for anyone else!). Before you start to write this off as just another “time loop” movie that has been done to death, this one is unique in that it has more than one person stuck in this time loop. So the movie explores much more territory than Groundhogs Day did and digs deeper into the relationship between two (maybe even three) people. Yes, it did explore Bill Murray’s relationship with Andie McDowell in Groundhog Day, but it was more one sided, as she had no clue that a time loop was even occurring. Andy Samberg isn’t just Andy Samberg in this movie, he actually plays much more than just another Jake Peralta/Brooklyn Nine-Nine type (although that role on television will never get old for me). This is easily a career best performance from him, as it is also for Cristin Milioti, who has come such a long way from being what would end up being the **spoiler alert for something different** disposable mother character on the sitcome How I Met Your Mother.

J.K. Simmons is also in this film, but the less that is said about his character, the better. Experience that boat load of fun on your own. But like I said, the movie is near perfect if not perfect. Right at the end, when it was about to have a huge plot thread roll loose in a depressing fashion, it doesn’t, it remembers what it needed to explain a quick bit without spoon feeding it to the audience. I literally almost screamed “oh yeah” right as the scene happened. The movie has some great twists and turns that I dare not reveal here, just to say that I didn’t see some of them coming at all. There are great set ups, pay offs, smart crude and sex humor that I haven’t seen in awhile, the works. It has a definitive set of universe rules and doesn’t break or even bend them in the slightest. I love when filmmakers stick to that shit. It has fantastic replay value, as a feel good romantic sort of sci-fi comedy that should help you get out of any funk that you are in currently. Although the great and talented Lonely Island boys (Samberg, Akiva Shaffer, Jorma Taccone) produced this film, so you could possibly call it a “Lonely Island movie”, they did not write or direct this. That would go to screenwriter Andy Siara and director Max Barbakow, neither of which I’m familiar with. Maybe one day, as I hope they can make movies as great as this one. So if you have Hulu, watch this immediately, and if you don’t have it, fucking find a friend that does or do a free trial and just watch this movie if you have to. It is a masterful and hilarious 90 minutes to distract you from the days of COVID-19, which seems to be going on forever at this point. I know I’ve said it but, again, best film of 2020 for me so far.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: RELIC

Now before any of you go up in arms about my review for the new horror movie RELIC, which went straight to drive in theaters and video on demand this past weekend, let me express to you a couple of things. Yes, I know, I’ve seen that the movie is in the 90 percentile range with critics for this movie, but take a look at the low audience score in the 40 percentile range. I am not a huge fan when horror is weird and all artsy fartsy for the sake of being weird and all artsy fartsy. It’s got to have that AND have a point, for example Ari Aster’s Hereditary and Midsommar quickly come to mind. And while Relic does have a point, it is a horror movie metaphor showing how dementia & Alzheimer’s rots not just the mind but the body as well, it didn’t quite get it’s point across because none of the set ups earlier in the film had any sort of pay offs. It’s just weird to be weird. I don’t like that. That’s probably why films of this caliber aren’t my cup of tea. I didn’t like the critically acclaimed The VVITCH or It Comes At Night either. It was all just artsy fartsy without earning any of the themes or motifs buried beneath the surface of the story. It was very frustrating as I really wanted to like this film and I was really digging the visuals and atmosphere the film had set up. It’s sort of a haunted house movie, but with a twist. But when the end credits hit, the one two part question that always comes to mind, “would I ever watch this again or recommend it?” I already knew that my answer was a concrete no.

Also, I was very bored, I paused the movie a bunch of times to do other things around the house because I just couldn’t get into it. What was supposed to be a 90 minute film took me approximately 120 minutes to watch. This is the equivalent of looking at your watch or taking a quick peak at your cell phone clock in the theater. Per IMDB, it describes Relic as such: “A daughter, mother and grandmother are haunted by a manifestation of dementia/Alzheimer’s that consumes their family’s home.” That short sentence describes the film to a tee. At the beginning of the film the grandmother is missing, the daughter and granddaughter are worried, then the grandmother randomly shows up again, without any explanation of where she was, and that’s when the horror and weird shit starts to happen. The acting in this film, along with the visuals and atmosphere, is the last pro I can give this film. It’s a three woman show essentially, and Emily Mortimer, Bella Heathcote and Robyn Nevin all do a fantastic job in their perspective roles. Again, the real problem here is the screenplay and not giving the audience any pay offs to the set ups presented earlier in the film. They never show where the grandmother ended up going to where she was missing. Well they kind of do and they kind of don’t. They present two ways, but neither were made clear. That could’ve been an interesting pay off. That and many other instances go untouched or unexplained. I advocate the audience trying to figure things out on their own, but there wasn’t enough hints given. Those could end up being nails in the coffin for interest in a film.

This is director Natalie Erika James’s first big directing gig. She has directed several short films and has worked on horror/thriller projects with bigger named people, such as The Invisible Man and Upgrade’s Leigh Whannell. Her direction is great here, again, the problem is with her script, which she co-wrote with Christian White, who is also getting their bigger break here. They both need to work on their story skills, their structure, and making sure set ups have pay offs. They got the shots down, and if they can conjure up a solid script, then I can confidently say I can’t wait to see that movie. But Relic definitely isn’t it. It does show promise and potential, but is ultimately a disappointment, especially that it debuted with strong critic reviews. And it’s not that I’m a casual movie goer, anybody that knows me knows I am definitely not that. I get what it was trying to do. It just simply wasn’t in my wheelhouse of interest, but was for others. And that’s okay. Not everybody is going to like a particular movie. I’m sure there are people out there that didn’t care for Get Out or Parasite. There is probably someone out there that can convince me that 2019’s Joker is a masterpiece (doubt it though). It happens. Tastes are different. Relic gets the horror right, but not the intelligence for me.

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: THE OLD GUARD (Netflix)

Why does every movie have to have a “new recruit” type story line? That’s where the universe is very much already established and they bring in a new character (someone casual moviegoers can relate to) to learn the ropes. Is it so that the story/screenplay writer can easily and without any kind of effort spoon feed all the information/rules to the audience in multiple uninteresting monologues? Is it so they don’t have to think hard of a new and unique approach where little things are hinted at here and there where movie goers would have to grow a brain and piece everything together on their own? The “new recruit” type story is EVERYWHERE. Men In Black, The Matrix, 6 Underground, Kingsman, Inception, is just a very small list of the thousands of movies out there that do it. However, those movies get past that cliched premise because they have other, much bigger elements that come into play that are interesting enough and overshadow that “same old, same old.” Inception is a HUGE example of that. Anyway, the thing that makes the new Netflix original film, THE OLD GUARD, just a one time half-way decent watch is that the bigger elements presented in this movie…is just more shit that has been done before, namely the “Immortality Old Warrior” type angle. Another problem with it would be that Charlize Theron and company just explain the rules to the “new recruit” in a bunch of uninteresting ways and have “standing close to each other for 5 to 10 minute” monologues. And yet another problem would be that I guessed everything that was going to happen way before they happened and even guessed what the mid credits scene would be only a half an hour into the 2 hour run time. The film only gets a barely passable slight recommendation from me because it has a action packed last 30 minutes, the movie looked good and was well shot, and of course…Charlize Theron is always fantastic in whatever project she takes on.

Still think I’m nuts? Look at the IMDB log line for this: “A covert team of immortal mercenaries are suddenly exposed and must now fight to keep their identity a secret just as an unexpected new member is discovered.” New member. I guarantee you that two word phrase is in the log line of thousand of films that you have seen before. Is there really no way that this movie, and the graphic novel its based on as well, could’ve just had this “Old Guard” be on their own to present a story that hinted at and then gradually revealed the rules while the movie progressed without having one character explain all of it to a new one in a mundane monologue? There had to have been a way, HAD to. I myself can even think of several ways the movie could’ve avoided all those trappings and had been a unique ride. Alas, it doesn’t, it takes the easy way out for you to quickly understand and relate to the story. I’m just tired of it is all. Also, for an action movie, there is not a lot of action, save for the last 30 minutes. It’s really just a bunch of characters getting all the history out of the way so that the sequel doesn’t have to explain everything and just be completely action packed. I’m sorry but you do not want your first movie in a franchise to be just a dialogue bridge film for better sequels. You are already setting yourself up for failure doing that. Which, judging by the mid credits scene, is EXACTLY what this film is doing. Plus, let’s list the cliches shall we? We get another bad guy just wanting to make money off of or harness the groups abilities, betrayals and double crossings, plot points that the group are afraid will happen that they point out at the very beginning of the film that DO happen later on, the works. If you watch closely, this film is BEAT BY BEAT ripping off The Matrix.

Okay, enough with my bitching, it is getting old. Let me get to some of the good stuff. Like I said, Charlize Theron is excellent in this, that there is no doubt. The new recruit, played by KiKi Layne, is good as well. All the acting is top notch, even though Chiwetel Ejiofor is completely wasted with his talents here and should not have been cast in a role that small. I even loved that two of the Old Guard were homosexual lovers. That was a nice dynamic that had some great pay off scenes. The whole movie looks nice and is shot well by director Gina Prince-Bythewood. Give her a better story and screenplay to work with and she could do wonders. The only big fault with this movie is the story/screenplay. This screenplay was written by the actual creator of the graphic novel it is based on Greg Rucka, who is known for the many graphic novels he’s written. I wish he would have more original ideas is all and wouldn’t fall into the trappings of all the cliches he writes himself into. It just takes that one idea to be extraordinary. The real problem is that there is nothing new with this movie. Every element is taken from many other different films that have done those elements better. When you can’t take those elements and even put a small unique twist on them to make them better and new again, what’s the point of even writing those kinds of stories in the first place? Even though it has been happening for years, it has been starting to get old lately just recently for me. Fuck…maybe I’m just getting too old for this shit?

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: GREYHOUND (Apple TV+)

Even though I’m a huge fan of Star Wars The Last Jedi, when describing Apple TV+’s new original film GREYHOUND to my friends, who commented that the 1 hr and 23 minute runtime was “a little short” for a World War II sea battle movie, I had to make a slight joke toward 2017’s very divisive franchise film. I told them, “it’s basically only the chase parts in The Last Jedi, but with shit actually going down.” To describe it for those who haven’t seen or refuse to see The Last Jedi, Greyhound is almost 90 minutes of Tom Hanks going around his battle boat, which is the lead in an Allied convoy trying to bring food and supplies to the British during World War II, and barking commands and orders to try to defend and fight against Nazi U-Boat wolf packs. That’s all it is. There is no character development, there are no long, dragging scenes of little moments between the crew to try and humanize them, no long uplifting speeches from Hanks before the climax of the film, you don’t see any of the Nazi’s in the flesh. It’s simply a “we got to take this important food and shit from point A to point B without being killed by Hitler’s goons, short, sea battle chase” movie. Oh, and there is a overused joke of Hanks being so busy he never ends up eating the meals that are brought to him. That’s it. That’s all you need to know.

This movie was made for the theater, especially with its loud war action designed to make you rumble in your seat and almost destroy your ear drums. It was even supposed to come out the week before Father’s Day weekend. Alas, COVID-19 said to Tom Hanks, “fuck you, I’m going to make you and your wife sick, and then I’m making the film that you wrote and acted in go straight to streaming.” If anyone has gotten the shaft other than those that have gotten sick and died, and the families of those victims by this butt fucking cock sucking virus, it is definitely Tom Hanks. There is a short scene between Tom Hanks and Elizabeth Shue near the beginning of him saying they’ll get married when he gets back, designed to show how war is tragic and separates loved ones, but then this film is off to the races and never really lets up until Hanks and his crew successfully or unsuccessfully make the journey. Other than the sea, missiles, boat action, what have you being completely CGI (don’t worry, it looks impressive), the movie was filmed on an actual boat, the USS Kidd in Baton Rouge. Which is good because it made the claustrophobic atmosphere of the tight quarters seem real and anybody who is anybody wouldn’t have believed for a second if it had been a studio stage made up to look like a real navy ship.

The action of the film, which is basically the whole run time, is very intense, and the climax is very well done and tight, where it comes down to Tom Hands and two U-Boats surrounding the USS Greyhound, firing missiles and then just straight coming at ’em. Hanks can act his way out of a paper bag so no problems in that area whatsoever. Hanks also wrote the screenplay, based on the novel The Good Shepherd by C.S. Forester, and even though I was never in any part of the Navy, all the lingo and orders he commands to his crew sounded legit and well researched. The director, Aaron Schneider, directed one other feature length film, called Get Low that I have seen but don’t quite remember being all that memorable. He does a good job here, his work on 1998’s squid monster movie Deep Rising giving him the most experience to be able to direct a sea war adventure. The film is a solid, decent one time watch. Nothing more, nothing less. Unfortunately its forced premiere into being an Apple TV Plus exclusive instead of the theater because of COVID-19 might be the ultimate nail in the film’s memorable re-watchablility coffin. Then that coffin will have a burial at sea…a sea filled with so much streaming content right now, it will probably be “lost in time…like tears…in rain.”

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: THE HIGH NOTE

THE HIGH NOTE is just further proof that you can still make a movie that has been done before, with cliches galore, being mostly predictable, incorporating story beats either copied or completely ripped off of other things…but the pacing of the movie, the acting, the chemistry between the actors, and some original music can end up putting everything together into a very enjoyable, semi-new package. Or maybe my expectations were just really, really low? Doesn’t matter, either way I really enjoyed this film, and my wife who was going to do other things around the house, ended up sitting down and paid attention to the whole thing. This was yet another movie that was supposed to hit theaters early May, but due to the butt fucking phenomenon known as COVID-19, ended up being a premium $19.99 PVOD rental instead in late May. Cut to only a month and a week later, and this movie was available to OWN this week for only $14.99 (see: my patience is virtue quote in my previous review of Trolls World Tour). Yes, I could’ve waited for another 12 days for the rental to go down to $5 or $6, but I read some casual moviegoers reviews saying that the movie is much better than critics like me or grumpy old people were making it out to me, so I took the gamble and just purchased to own. I’m glad that I did, because even though the movie has about a billion familiar story beats with a story that has been done a countless variation of times, I enjoyed every minute of it and would probably keep watching it as sort of a ‘guilty pleasure’ type deal.

Also, the marketing of this movie was way off base. IMDB describes the film as “A superstar singer and her overworked personal assistant are presented with a choice that could alter the course of their respective careers,” and that’s how the trailers and tv spots sold the movie as, but that’s really describing only HALF of the movie’s 1 hr and 52 minute run time. Dakota Johnson plays the personal assistant and Tracee Ellis Ross (daughter of the incredibly talented singer Diana Ross) plays the superstar and the movie markets itself as JUST the relationship between those two, a la The Devil Wears Prada, except that Ross’s character is much less of an asshole than Meryl Streep was. The real other half of the movie is about Dakota Johnson discovering some new musical talent while she’s out shopping for grocery’s for Ross, a guy named David Cliff, and their relationship as she lies to him, selling herself as an experienced movie producer, because it seems as though Ross’s character doesn’t take any of her career suggestions seriously and Johnson’s career is likely to go nowhere because of it. This is where the movie’s true heart lies, as the acting between Dakota Johnson and the actor that plays David Cliff, Kelvin Harrison Jr. really uplifts, takes flight, and never gets uninteresting. Sure, the stuff between Johnson and Ellis Ross is still there as the Plot A style story, but the resolution of it ends up pretty much how you’d expect, except for ONE HUGE twist that I didn’t see coming, but maybe probably should have.

Doing some research on the crew of the making of this movie, I found out that it was no surprise that I enjoyed this film more than I should’ve, because the director of this movie, a Ms. Nisha Ganatra, also directly the incredibly entertaining movie Late Night, that starred Emma Thompson and Mindy Kaling that came out last year. While I still prefer that film out of the two, mainly due to Mindy Kaling’s incredible screenplay writing ability (not her acting), this film reaches those entertaining heights pretty closely at times. While I don’t watch Blackish, Tracee Ellis Ross is really great here and Ice Cube has now finally been in something decent in awhile since the 21 Jump Street movies. Dakota Johnson though, I think, gives her best performance yet, kind of proving that she probably should’ve said no to that Fifty Shades trilogy when she got offered the part awhile ago. The banter is witty, the dialogue feels fresh although familiar, and the time just passes by as you watch this. Oh, I almost forgot to mention the music! While there are a couple of cover songs, most of the things sung in this, mostly by Kelvin Harrison Jr., was original, felt fresh, and had a fun beat. I am very happy the movie didn’t go the route of having the whole thing just be covers of songs we’ve heard too many times before. The High Note definitely ended on a high note for me, as my wife and I talked about how decent the film was, how much we enjoyed it, how others we know would enjoy it, and that we’d probably enjoy it just as much again on a re watch or two.