Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: KNIVES OUT (ABSOLUTELY NO SPOILERS)

What can I say about KNIVES OUT, easily 2019’s best film of the year for me so far, without giving away anything? Because with this very special movie written and directed by Rian Johnson, just like I said about Parasite a month ago, it is best to go into the theater completely dark. So, like my review of Parasite, my review of Knives Out is going to be very short, and bullet pointed. I’m going to have one short vague sentence about it, list my vague likes and dislikes of it, and just overall be vague, vague, vague. There are no clues or any mystery to my review, I’m saving every entertaining moment for your experience in the theater, letting you decipher the greatness of this film on its own. Here we go:

What is Knives Out about?

The head of a rich family patriarch dies under mysterious circumstances and a detective named Benoit Blanc (played by Daniel Craig) is on the case.

Why did I like Knives Out so much to make it my #1 film of 2019 so far?

  1. You won’t see another movie as entertaining as this one all year. 2 hrs and 10 minutes goes by without one hiccup and you must pay attention to every second of the movie to experience the perfection of Rian Johnson’s screenplay.
  2. There are little set ups and little pay offs, and big set ups and big pay offs, all of them land perfectly on their feet.
  3. I did not guess or predict any of the twists or turns that this movie had. Completely shocked by every reveal and revelation.
  4. Replay value, I could watch this film over and over and over and over and over again.
  5. Best fun mystery whodunit film since Clue, except this one is more grounded and a little more serious, but even more fun and funny than the classic 80s film.
  6. The performances are all incredible, but Daniel Craig, Chris Evans, and Ana De Armas completely steal the show. Daniel Craig’s Alabama accent in here is deliciously borderline over the top and hilarious, Chris Evans gives us his best performance ever, and Ana De Armas’s character is the most I have rooted for a protagonist since Rey in The Force Awakens. In fact, any Last Jedi haters out there can now go fuck themselves because of this movie.
  7. The dialogue is crisp, clever, and comedic. Very delightful. The movie could’ve gone on another hour and I wouldn’t have noticed.
  8. Camera angles, placement, and movement when it needed to were on point with the scenes that they accompanied.
  9. Go see it.
  10. What are you doing still reading this? Go fucking see it now.

What did I not like about the movie?

  1. One very minor bullshit nitpick. This movie has a shit ton of A-listers, and while they all get one or two moments to shine, I wish some of them were in the film more as they were just so delightful to watch. But them being in the film any more might’ve made the story too bloated, and the movie is as perfect as a movie could be. So strike this complaint for the record.

I loved KNIVES OUT. If I didn’t have a child I’d probably see it two or three more times in the theater. I can’t wait to own it. It’s incredible. Get a clue from this review, go out and seek it before I start to boo you.

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