I know it’s not technically Mid-Way Through The Year until June 30th but I really can’t see Transformers 5 or Cars 3 making the best list (maybe worst?) and if Rough Night, Book of Henry, or Baby Driver happen to get on there, I’ll let you know.  So here is my best and worst list of films for 2017 so far:

My Mid-Way 2017 Top Ten Films So Far:

1. John Wick: Chapter 2
2. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
3. Wonder Woman
4. Logan
5. Get Out
6. Split
7. Colossal
8. Alien: Covenant
9. Sleight
10. The Founder

So my friend Kimberly Finke and I usually see all horror movies that come out together. I think I’ve mentioned her “ass out to pass out” in an earlier review, where you can tell instantly how she feels about a certain movie. Well, today, we came up with a new term for how we feel about, not only horror movies, but any film honestly. If we don’t like a film, and almost every other critic does, especially with anything over 80% on Rotten Tomatoes, we are going to say we were “bewitched” by that certain movie. We are getting that term, because last year’s The Witch got solid, solid…SOLID reviews, and Kim and I didn’t care for it at all and wonder why everyone else did. Well, unfortunately, we both were “bewitched” by IT COMES AT NIGHT.

And it’s not like we weren’t warned. We weren’t expecting some zombie horror film where all questions were answered and everything tied up in a bow. We knew going it that it was a slow burning, tense, paranoia little family thriller that happened to contain a fast spreading disease that would kill you, and that it was only 95 minutes long. Well, at 95 minutes, the movie felt too long. I was bored through most of it. But don’t get me wrong, it is a well made film. The acting is incredible, the cinematography and direction is way above average, and the fact that it didn’t explain where the outside world is and where this disease came from was pretty eerie, cool, and commendable. But the movie just didn’t click with either of us.

It mainly didn’t click for me not because of some of the boredom, but because of the ending. If I had to compare the ending to something, I would compare it to the end of Masters of None Season 2, where it just goes in and out of fading out, and then just ends. Not to say there isn’t explanation, because there kind of is, but after a huge tense and crippling climax, to just do that felt like a kind of cheat out other than making the movie five minutes longer and dissecting it just a little bit more. When the end credits rolled, I shrugged and got out of my seat. I didn’t really care for any of the characters to care about their fates or care what happens to the world around them.

Which leads us to another problem. The acting might be incredible, and I might not care about the who, what, where, when, and why of the disease, but I would like to care about the characters. And I just didn’t. There wasn’t enough character development. They tried to make some at the very beginning with a semi gruesome funeral, but it just doesn’t work. The movie is more thriller than scary, which might not have been the way to go. If you think there are going to be a bunch of zombies running around (which the trailer completely leads you into thinking that is the case) you are going to be very, very disappointed. But I heard that was the case beforehand. So I was ready for it and accepting, I was just bored.

Joel Edgerton proves again that he is a underrated acting force to be reckoned with, and Riley Keough here is completely wasted. Edgerton was maybe the only character a “kind of” cared about. And that “kind of” is being very generous. When a 95 minute movie is slow, that’s not really boating well. But hey, if you are a creepy, horror, thriller fan, you might actually like it. In fact, most critics are. This seems to be the weekend of disagreeing with critics and the general population for me, except for Megan Leavey. Agree with most that that is excellent. I don’t think it’s my mood, because I was really looking forward to this film, the most of any film this weekend, and my expectations I don’t think were too high. Just sometimes, it just isn’t in the cards, and we end up being “bewitched” by things. Don’t let me review sway you into seeing it or not. Go with your own opinion. But in the end, I ended up with blue balls, and didn’t “come” at all. *drops mic*

The thing I liked the most about MY COUSIN RACHEL is that it relies solely on its ambiguity to engage its audience. If you are looking for definitive answers whether Rachel is a evil and conniving bitch or not, look elsewhere, because the ending makes you think for yourself. If you are disappointed by a no answers (a la Damon Lindelof) type of movie, then stay far away. However if you want to piece the clues together, even after you walk out of the theater, you might find this as a nice one time watch interesting little mystery with some very good performances.

This movie comes with a sense of dread, paranoia, jealousy, hatred, romance, and dark mystery. Did Rachel poison and drive her former lover mad and then is doing the same thing to his cousin? For what end? Money, power? Or is she really just all that innocent and both men really are losing their minds? I loved this mind game that the movie brought. I kept switching my opinion one scene after another, so the unpredictability is off the charts good. Rachel Weisz and Sam Caflin play off each other extremely well, with Weisz’s charm (but is there a darkness under it) and Caflin’s gullibilty (or is he right) moving the narrative forward while also confusing the shit out of the audience.

Usually these movies set in that old timey era bore me in places, but after this film was over I was left sitting in my seat saying, “wow, that was fast,” and then trying to figure out the movie afterward. I wouldn’t buy this and consider it really just a one time watch, but I definitely recommend it purely because of its unpredictability and the acting. I wouldn’t liked the film to be a little longer and see Caflin’s character plans for revenge against the woman who possibly murdered his guardians gain a little bit more meat to its bones. Instead, she arrives, he is flabbergasted, and it feels like a snap of the fingers where he is instantly in love with her. Eventually I believed it, but right away I was questioning the screenwriters and director’s rush of emotions. I guess they didn’t want the film to get boring?

Definitely a good Netflix watch when it eventually hits that platform. Don’t bend over backwards to see it. It isn’t the be all end all period pieces of be all end all period pieces. It is a little better than average paranoid period piece tiny thriller. The way the film makes you think and the performances keep it from being mediocre and less than mediocre. And isn’t a movie that makes you think at least somewhat commendable?

You know, sometimes doing film reviews don’t work out in your favor. I had this whole first paragraph for my THE MUMMY  review prepared by telling you a true story. This friend, when I was growing up, picked up one of his dog’s giant shits, let it sit in the sun for a couple of days, wrapped it in gauze, and called it a “gross, smelly mummy.” Then I was going to compare that experience to this movie by calling it a “mummified piece of shit.” There was more to it, but the review was absolutely going to work in my favor. I went into the theater expecting the movie to be DOA, because I was never excited by the trailers, the Rotten Tomato score is awful (somewhere in the 20s), and I still love the 1999 one with Brendan Fraser (the rest of them sucked). But alas, the movie is honestly not bad at all. I was entertained by it, Tom Cruise still brought his A-game, even though he was terribly miscast, the effects were good, I chuckled several times, and I liked the way they set up the Dark Universe and look forward to seeing more films, especially if Crowe’s Dr. Jekyll comes along for the ride.

I think critics were expecting too much. I think they were expecting the Dark Universe films to be well…darker? And while this is much darker than the 1999 Mummy film, it still has that “tone.” In fact, there is one scene in the film, if you spot very carefully, that makes me think that those Mummy films exist in this Dark Universe canon (you’ll see, and if you don’t see, there are plenty of articles already spoiling what that connection is). Maybe the critics didn’t want that ‘tone’ again? But if you get too dark, then people start complaining Batman V Superman style and you get royally stomped on in that regard. So where is that line? Where is the line where you can be dark, but also fun and adventurous and have a great time at the movies? I thought this movie honestly traveled that line very well. There were parts that made me jump, and parts that were intense, but also parts that were fun and exciting. So…again, what is the line that audiences and critics are expecting?

I agree with the critics on a couple of things. The movie does almost start out as an exact storytelling remake of the 1999 film, but then gets into it’s own thing by the plane crash that you see in the trailers. Tom Cruise didn’t need to be in this movie at all. He is in his 50s and is playing a character that seemed to be written in his early to mid 30s. And there are a couple of scenes where a dead character is talking to Cruise a la a giant rip off of An American Werewolf in London. But other than those three complaints, the film really isn’t that bad. In fact, the hour and 45 minutes went like that *snaps fingers.* I was incredibly entertained, the action was well shot and fun, Sofia Boutella makes a better Mummy than Arnold Vosloo did in the 1999 version, Tom Cruise still brought his acting A game, I liked the humor, and a whole bunch of other little things.

Plus, I really like the way they handled Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (if you think that is a spoiler, come on). You know that CGI crap from Stephen Sommers Van Helsing movie? Nowhere to be seen here. Hyde comes out more like the novels made him, more human like with a menacing behavior and a little more strength, with it very much being a change in performance required by Russell Crowe. Really loved what they did with that. And the little nods to future films were cool (by the way don’t stay after the credits, nothing there).

So will you like it just because I think the critics were wrong and I liked it? Of course not. You might hate it as much as them and think I am completely out of my fucking mind. I am just giving you my opinion. I had a fun time, think it is a fun adventure that families could share together, and think there are worse films to see at the theater right now than this. Does it get close to the masterpiece that is Wonder Woman? Hell no. Is it better than Guardians Vol. 2? Those are two different films, but again, hell no. This movie isn’t the freshest batch of popcorn you could have at the theater right now. It is more like day old popcorn, that you just douse and douse with a whole bunch of butter to enjoy at the moment, nothing more and nothing less.

Wow, this movie was so much better than I expected. And you know why I expected it to be a “meh” kind of movie? Because the fucking marketing for this film is completely wrong. Let me guess, you think that most of the 2 hour run time is due to Megan Leavey trying to adopt her Marine war bomb sniffing dog and trying to overcome many obstacles to do it? WRONG. Spoiler alert: That’s the last 15 minutes of the film. This is more of a war movie than any of the trailers and TV spots are letting on. Some people have asked why the fuck this movie isn’t called A Dog’s Purpose, because it makes more sense other than that other Lifetime nonsense crap that came out in January. It’s because the movie is really about Megan Leavey. Sure the dog is in there a lot too, but it’s about Leavey’s personal journey to connect with another soul (that soul being the dog) and to find her place in life in an atmosphere that is almost too dark to see through.

And it’s a very, very good film. Not a masterpiece per say, there are better war films out there, but at my screening last night, there probably wasn’t a dry eye (out of happiness) in the theater, and that’s saying something. Kate Mara gives her best performance here since House of Cards, honestly this may be her best performance in anything to date because a lot of people consider her wooden, but she is anything but that here. The film is actually very entertaining for its subject matter, the pacing is near perfect, and the story flows fluidly from point A to B to C. At the beginning she is a troubled young adult, goes through Marine training and dog training, and comes out after an injury only to find out she connected with her bomb sniffing dogs soul. It’s actually quite touching, and it probably wouldn’t have worked with Mara or the dog.

Draco Malfoy…oh excuse me, Tom Felton shows up as a Marine that is an expert already in the field of dog bomb sniffing, and he is getting a good job trying to make a general audience forget he ever said the word “POTTER!” with such hatred. Common is pretty good as the overall leader of the dog bomb sniffing unit of the Marines, and Ramon Rodriguez shows up as a fellow Marine/love interest, and maybe the only part of the story that could’ve been cut out and had not made much of a difference. It would’ve been better if they had just been really good friends and not lovers. Also, I wonder if that part was shoe horned in to make the film longer, as it didn’t need to be. I’m going to look further into it, but if that did indeed happen, then I guess putting it in the film was okay.

I’m just looking at a picture of Megan Leavey right now, and holy shit does she look like Kate Mara, so the casting director did pretty well with her job for this movie.  The movie also does a pretty good job with the overall tension of finding bombs and whether or not someone has a bomb on them or not. I have not felt that kind of tension since The Hurt Locker (still the better film) and I commend the movie for making me be on the edge of my seat during those scenes.

Overall, there are many movies like this one. Whether they work or not is another story. There are some that have worked, and many, MANY, that have not. I think the marketing of this film is ultimately going to hurt the audience that sees it, but Megan Leavey is one of those films that completely works during it’s two hour run time. I was entertained more than I thought I’d be, and was way more engaged with the emotional bond between Leavey and Rex than I thought I would be. While PG-13 this is I would consider a very good older family film. But probably not for kids under 10 years old. Highly recommend, it is better than it looks in previews. I guarantee it.

Well this is going to be one of my short and sweet reviews because, there really isn’t much to this quick hour and 40 minute film. Which was kind of the problem. CHURCHILL is about Winston Churchill obviously, but it only focuses really on four days of his life, the four days leading up to D-Day and his rallying speech. Mainly how he was against the operation to begin with, but out of passion, afraid that they would not win, and over 20,000 soldiers would die for nothing. His wife trying to calm him down, he tried do to everything he could to stop the troops from ever entering the beach.

Well, we all know what ends up happening, spoiler alert, D-Day happens anyway and the allies eventually stop Hitler and his regime. While the movie was watchable it was a little bit of a bore. I would’ve rather have a whole 2 hour and 30 minute film about the entirety of one of the world’s greatest leaders. Especially with Brian Cox in the role. He is excellent here, but I feel like a story focused on something else would of taken his excellent performance and made it classic and award worthy. His wife, played by Miranda Richardson is good too, but she mainly just gets mad at him and has to calm him down a couple of times, to understanding what his mind is going through.

I didn’t learn a lot about Winston Churchill in this film, and I feel like that was a crime, like I was robbed. So I can’t recommend this really other than to say maybe just watch it for Cox’s performance? I don’t know. The movie literally had no purpose. I get what the screenplay writer was trying to do, to avoid that ‘bio’ pic. But sometimes the ‘bio’ pic is exactly what we need. This could’ve been included in the bio pic, but for only like maybe 10-15 minutes of screentime? Yeah…that would’ve been better.

WONDER WOMAN is unfortunately DCEU’s final nail in the once hopeful DC Comics franchise coffin. Time to throw in the towel and let Marvel rule all. There is no way to turn this around…Yes, Zach, they will believe this at first. Yes, they will be fooled by you, they will think that you really didn’t like Wonder Woman. They will be shocked and very, very sad. Little do they know is that you’re actually tricking them. Yes. They have no idea that you really think that Wonder Woman is a giant 180 in the right direction. There are no clues that you think this is one of the year’s best films, and definitely the best DCEU movie to date (even though the count right now is only four). Oh yes, you really feel that DCEU, after this point, could be like Sleeping Beauty, where both Gad Gadot and director Patty Jenkins have kissed the DCEU passionately and maybe has finally awoken the sleeping giant. Wait…whoa, just blacked out for a second there…I didn’t say that out loud just now…did I?

Wonder Woman is (lame pun intended) wonderful. And like my inner thoughts above, it is the best DCEU movie to date (not comparing it to the standard DC films like The Dark Knight, which will never be dethroned of it’s #1 status), and definitely will be in my top ten films of the year. This film makes Suicide Squad look like it was written and directed by Harambe. It is extremely well acted, sure as shit entertaining, perfect pacing, lots of cool draw dropping action and Patty Jenkins shows that female directors need to be given the chance to direct cool big pictures like this. I can’t tell you how surprised I am by how well this film worked on every single level I can think of.

I mean, really the only two complaints I have is that come of the CGI work was just a little, tiny, tiny bit shaky and that the final act, while still gung-ho astonishing, felt like it borrowed too much from the finale of Batman V Superman. But those are two minor complaints. The movie is completely owned and ruled by Gal Gadot. She was one of the best parts of Batman V Superman and this picture proves that the best parts weren’t a one and done deal. Gal Gadot, in my opinion, is one of the strongest, nicest, prettiest, and bravest women on the planet. This film was made to make the lead carry a lot of her shoulder’s. But God damn, does Gadot make it look so easy. The chemistry between her and Chris Pine is not only realistic, but the movie takes it time with it, where every beat and payoff feels completely earned, to the fact where you might be hiding a few tears in the finale. This whole thing is Gal Gadot though. She IS NOW officially Wonder Woman, in that it’s basically like Hugh Jackman and Wolverine, where I’ll never be able to see someone else in the role.

I also like how the marketing of this film is hiding a lot of secrets from you. Not going to spoil them here, I promise, but let’s just say the trailers do not give away the whole film. Not by a long shot, especially the ending. The DCEU does have one advantage over the Marvel EU thus far. The villains are already highly compelling and interesting. Marvel is still struggling to figure this out. The villain(s) in this though are menacing and actually pose somewhat of a significant threat. While the villain in this is in the background most of the time, when revealed, is a nice, juicy, meaty role.

When Wonder Women goes into action, everything in this is well shot, where you can see what is actually happening. Patty Jenkins directed this movie with perfection. And to think, she was supposed to direct Thor 2 until Marvel didn’t have enough enthusiasm to let a female director take the reigns of that movie. Well, we see how Thor 2 turned out didn’t we? I guess Marvel is now kicking their own ass with their decision. This movie is a complete adventure thrill ride. When Diana Prince steps out onto the World War I front line, that action scene was instantly one that is going to burn in audiences minds forever. Really, really cool stuff.

There is nothing left to say except you need to go and see Wonder Woman in a theater immediately. No excuses. This is the real deal where the DCEU actually feels like it is starting to get a pulse, and Wonder Woman was the “CLEAR!” moment this franchise needed. If anybody spoils this for any of you, shame on them. It is really a wonder that this film worked, with all the troubled production. But maybe that was just some asshole trying to get a rise out of people. Because Wonder Woman is not just a wonderful summer picture, but a wonderful superhero film, and a wonderful film period. Let’s cross our fingers that Justice League works as well as this.

Ranking of DCEU Films

1. Wonder Woman
2. Man of Steel
3. Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice
4. Suicide Squad

Let me give you a word of warning: so far, before this Pirates movie, I have only thought the first one was fantastic. Dead Man’s Chest is only half a good movie, At World’s End feels like a disappointing remake of Matrix Revolutions, and At Stranger Tides is frankly a piece of absolute shit. So when I say that PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN – DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES is the best Pirates film since the first one, and the only other one I actually enjoyed immensely…you know I have to be telling the truth.  In fact when you wake up early on the weekend to make a 9 am showing like I did, and the movie captivated you the entire time, you know that you won’t make that movie swab the poop deck of your mind.

What the movie does well is try to be it’s own adventure. I know that On Stranger Tides did as well, but On Stranger Tides completely relied on Johnny Depp to bring the whole movie together, and it failed completely. It didn’t try to make you care about Ian McShane or Penelope Cruz’s character, and the Tree of Life MacGuffin was used so stupidly I can’t even fucking remember why they wanted to find it in the first place. I guess to live forever? Which if I wanted to watch a movie that pulls that off I’ll just stick The Last Crusade in my Blu-Ray player again. This MacGuffin, the Trident of Poseidon, actually has different purposes, not just for one character, but for ALL of the characters, where you actually want them to reach the goal because the goal is extremely important to the plot.

And while some people might think it is lazy writing, the film introduces new characters that have to do with past Pirates characters that we care about, so it actually has us default to care about them a little bit. But their acting also works as well. Brendon Thwaites and Kyra Scadder…(I’m not looking up how to spell her name so I’ll say the girl from The Maze Runner movies) are actually quite good in this and bring some chops that were missing from Ian MacShane and Penelope Cruz from the last adventure. The film also does a great job by not just relying on Johnny Depp to bring the movie together. He is there a lot, but the film gives equal time to the other characters so we don’t get sick of Depp’s performance like we did with On Stranger Tides. I also like that there are really two MacGuffin’s in this film, where the black compass that we have seen Depp with throughout all the movies, has an interesting role to play.

And I’ll get this also out of the way. Yes, you get to see Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly in this, but just a warn of warning, one character gets about 5 minutes of screentime, and the other maybe two minutes, so don’t rely on their nostalgia to make you like the film. I would be also remiss if I didn’t mention that the action sequences in this movie are all pretty awesome. Yes, you get the cool ship pirate battles with cannon balls galore but this film has so much more fun stuff in it. You get a great sequences of not just a bank safe but an entire bank building being dragged through a town, a cool sequence with zombie dead sharks trying to keep two of our heroes, and the finale (I don’t want to spoil it here) is the most memorable of all 5 movies, with incredible set design and special effects. Yes, it is even better than the finale of the first film.

Also, the movie finally had some balls on some of the fates of the characters. It managed to course correct one fate of a character I didn’t care with what they did with him/her in the last couple of films, and not everyone survives this journey, which I appreciated (everything can’t all be happy and hunky dory). Also, Javiar Bardem makes the next best villain since Geoffrey Rush in the original. I never really cared for Ian MacShane or Davy Jones in the other sequels. Be sure to stay through the entire credits for an extra important scene possibly setting up the next film (although I kind of don’t like what they might be doing) that gives two important characters one or two more minutes of screen time.

But I really really really enjoyed this Pirates film, and I can’t see why critics aren’t enjoying this one as well, especially when they enjoyed the so-so Dead Man’s Chest and meh-meh At World’s End. This movie is entertainment in spades and will definitely check this out again. Maybe I liked it so much because On Stranger Tides is one of the biggest pieces of shit at the bottom of the adventure ocean. But this film gets a promotion, and is nowhere near having to walk the plank for this Movie Pirate.

We all know that PG-13 comedies don’t work anymore. That’s why every comedy I am thinking of that comes out this summer, like BAYWATCH, Rough Night, Girl’s Night Out, are all rated R. Can you think of the last PG-13 comedy that actually worked? We need the dick, fart & vagina jokes. The ones that are clever at least. There are some R rated comedies that don’t work though. You can have the dick, fart & vagina jokes, but they aren’t that clever, and the chemistry of the actors can’t be there. With this, the jokes are hit & miss, it kind of drags a little in the middle, but the chemistry of all the actors, especially Johnson and Efron, make this film a very perfect, if ultimately forgettable, perfect one time Netflix watch.

I was bringing up PG-13 comedies because if this was PG-13, it would’ve been absolutely awful. While the jokes hit or miss, the jokes that do work are completely raunchy and wouldn’t worked edited for TV. While I think the mainstream critics are right on some of their critiques of this film, they are being a little too harsh. This food is not awful at all, at least watchable, and somewhat entertaining. It actually has  a story, and the magic charisma that Dwayne Johnson brings to every film is here and it works very well, especially with Efron. In fact, all the characters here work. Daddario has great romantic chemistry with Efron, and Rohrbach has great chemistry with the fat kid. And I also like that the fat kid didn’t have to win her the entire movie, that she actually liked him the whole time and just needed to display a little confidence to get to the next stage in their romance.

Also, Chopra (who is the main lead in TV’s Quantico), although VERY underused, made a great villain. I haven’t seen an episode of Quantico, but here acting here works, I just wished they used her a little bit more. I loved all the different names Johnson was giving Efron the entire movie, especially one that will make you laugh really hard because of it’s directness. The thing that could’ve rocked this movie into greatness though was if it poked more fun at itself, kind of like how 21 and 22 Jump Street did. There are a couple of jokes of how lifeguard’s doing what they are doing in this film is kind of ridiculous, but it doesn’t take that joke to the next level, and instead becomes buries itself in the plot that doesn’t matter, and gets a little too serious for it’s source material.

I saw this at the Alamo Drafthouse, which always has a great 30 minute pre show with selected baffoonery that gets material from Youtube that relates to the film that is about to play. I saw a bunch of ridiculous shit from Baywatch over the years, and the pre show kind of got me really amped because I saw a bunch of opportunity to really kick the old ridiculous show in the balls while also being ridiculous in its own right. And like I said, there are a couple of jokes in their, but it doesn’t take any of them where they need to go. It really is a missed opportunity and will ultimately what will make the film kind of forgettable for me in the long run.

But the critics are wrong, this movie isn’t horrible at all. It’s the perfect Netflix watch late night with friends while drunk or (I’ve never even smoked a cigarette so I’m just guessing) high as fuck. The film kind of drags in the middle, and the action sequences could’ve been more planned out, ridiculous, and fun, are kind of tame. But the film ultimately keeps it out of being mediocre from the chemistry of the leads and the good jokes that stick the landing. And the film has one of the better blooper reels in the credits that I have seen in a really long time. You won’t miss anything by seeing this in the theater, but if you are bored on a long hot summer day and you don’t want to be in a crowded pool area, you could do a lot worse than seeing this film.