BAD TIMES AT THE EL ROYALE is a masterpiece to me. It doesn’t have to be to you. It has beat out Mission Impossible Fallout as my favorite/best film of the year. Everything in the movie flowed perfectly for me, the story, characters, acting, tone, etc. Although it is certified fresh on Rotten Tomatoes a lot of the mainstream critics are complaining that it doesn’t have a big genre bending twist like Drew Goddard’s previous film The Cabin In The Woods and it kind of a Tarantino rip off in some places. The critics are just basing that on that the film cuts back and forth between what is presently happening and each of the tenant’s stories before they entered the hotel with old fashioned title cards. But this movie isn’t a Tarantino rip off at all. This has a mind of its own. Tarantino’s films all sort of wink wink at the camera at every opportune moment, have dialogue that toes the line of being too over-the-top yet being genius at the same time, and none of them can be taken too seriously and are always playful. This films tone has director Drew Goddard’s own sense of style. He is a unique visionary that is trying to bring an individual palette into the Hollywood game and isn’t trying to simply just copy other films and directors. And those are just some of the reasons I love this film, but mainly because I found this to be an original piece in a flood of other pics that are either sequels, franchise reboots, remakes, etc, etc, etc.

If you’ve seen the trailer, and if you try to explain it to someone, it sounds like the onset of a joke: a priest, a singer, a rebel, and a salesman walk into a hotel in 1969. Each have something to hide or are more than what they seem. They’re lives happen to interconnect on this fateful night where some of the guests won’t make it out alive. And if you’ve seen the trailer you know there’s a young man that runs the hotel and Chris Hemsworth as a hippie Charles Manson type shows up at one point. That’s all you need to know. The whole experience of this film is the journey itself. And the journey is incredible. The story itself has some minor twists and turns with the characters, but do not go into this film expecting something shocking like the entire second half of The Cabin In The Woods. I know that the trailer, maybe, makes it seem like something huge is going to upend your world, but no, Drew Goddard doesn’t just want to be like M. Night Shyamalan where the audience expects something huge in the middle/end of the film that will drop your jaw to the ground. He testing each of these cinematic waters, putting his toe in different genres to get the feel of what he wants to do and say next.

I think Drew Goddard is a very talented individual. He wrote the best episodes of Buffy, Angel, Alias, and Lost. He was the showrunner on the first season of Daredevil. He wrote Cloverfield. He produces The Good Place. He was nominated for an Academy Award for adapting The Martian. And he co-wrote and directed the amazing The Cabin In The Woods. And he’s just as amazing here, both writing and directing. There is this very long tracking shot in the film where Jon Hamm is in the back of the hotel, finding out that the guests may or may not be spied on, and the sets and intricacies of the movement of everything right on time is phenomenal. The whole film is. There is a perfect balance of likable colorful characters, good old fashioned antagonists, and some in grey areas. Jeff Bridges, Cynthia Erivo, and Jon Hamm do fantastic jobs in their roles. Lewis Pullman is the stand out in the scenes where he is heavily featured. Chris Hemsworth gives us his best acting to date as a bad boy hippie named Billy Lee. And Dakota Johnson proves that she isn’t just some sex symbol in the Fifty Shades film, bringing some attitude and charisma to her shady character.

I just loved this film. This review would be longer if I could spoil some sequences but I don’t want to in favor of you going out and checking this movie out. It is entertaining, nail biting, visually pleasing to the eye, and fun all at the same time. The use of oldies music in this doesn’t feel forced and weight heavily on what is going on in the scene. It’s a very, very well made film. It’s one of those you find on a movie channel on a lazy afternoon and can just start watching it wherever you are and not stop until the end. Or if you find it playing on a commercial station, you pop in the blu-ray and continue on from where it was to avoid the commercials and the censorship. Bad things happen to people in this film, but you will have good times at the movies if you seek this film out. Go check in.

FIRST MAN made me realize that any notion as a child I had of ever exploring space and becoming an astronaut, should never have come to pass. If I showed this film to my younger self, I’d immediately say, “fuck that, I’d rather flip burgers.” But saying that with this movie, is not a negative. This film makes you appreciate what these men and women tried and accomplished all that much more. It is easily the best space biopic since Ron Howard’s Apollo 13, but I dare say this one is probably more intense and harrowing, fingers nails dug deeply into that soft luxury loungers (if you are lucky enough to have theaters like that around you). Listen, I don’t know anything about space exploration or any historic inaccuracies when watching this film. I just know that extraordinary filmmaker Damien Chazzelle, screenwriter Josh Singer, and actor Ryan Gosling has spoken passionately about this project in interviews I have seen in print and on television, and trust that what they brought to the screen was as close as they could get to the true story, without using the “Based” words you see on every promotional material stretched out wide narratively. I’ve never been this tense in a biopic film when I knew exactly what the ultimate outcome was. First Man is that engaging.

The film has three long sequences of Neil doing spectacular things all surrounded by his personal and family life, as well as the NASA talks in between. At the beginning we see Neil piloting and almost have grave consequences with X-15 craft, toward the middle of the film we get Neil and the Gemini 8, trying to test dock with the Agena, and then of course at the end of the film, the infamous moon landing. Also there is a small sequence of Neil almost getting killed test flying the landing craft. All of these sequences are tense as any good fictional thriller could give you, only I has holding my breath with how extreme it all felt, considering all of this really happened. The Gemini 8 sequence is easily the best in the film. I have never been as clastraphobic in a theater since Ryan Reynolds in Buried. In other Hollywood space films, the fictional ones, and even somewhat in the biopic Apollo 13, the camera and the sets seem to give a lot of room for the cameras and actors to breath, making it feel not as authentic as it should. Not this film. Director Damien Chazzelle takes the camera in what seems to be construction accurate authentic space craft and modules, the shots very close up to show the audience how little room these brave individuals had when out in space, their very lives hanging in the balance at points. At one point during the Gemini 8 sequence, the craft starts to spin at over 200 miles per hour, and once the scene was over my hands hurt from my fists being balled up pretty tight during the shots. If the movie wins anything during the Academy Awards, they should have sound editing and mixing in the bag, they were both incredible and added all the tension necessary to get the intensity to that scene to the audience in their seats.

That brings me to my next point of why director Damien Chazelle should easily get an Oscar nomination for this. Everything felt completely real. When I mentioned that the Gemini 8 goes into a very violent spin, the camera doesn’t go outside the spacecraft to show the audience a blatant special effects shot of the craft and how fast it was spinning. We stay inside with Armstrong and his one other man crew, of how he had to handle it quickly before both of them passed out and they were as sure as dead. In fact, there are very few shows of the various crafts these individuals flew in space, and the shots that are given to the audience I swore had to be expertly shot models, some stock footage, or very detailed almost perfect SFX. It was mind boggling how real everything felt. And one of the last sequences where Armstrong finally gets to the moon, it isn’t bombastically shot like something epic, some fictionalized view of what the moon landing would be in an filmmakers melodramatic or over-the-top climatic eyes. Space is silent, nothing on the moon except some craters and moon rocks/dust. Armstrong looks out and sees a vast darkness beyond of the simple empty white surface in front of him. He isn’t shooting space aliens or jumping happily and screaming out that he made it. Just silent recognition of triumph. And some scenes dealing with loss of family and friends earlier in the film, felt like an emotional journey earned. I nearly choked up near the end.

There really isn’t more to say about the film except that everything in the movie was a close to perfect as you can get for a biopic. The pacing was fantastic, Ryan Gosling and Claire Foy both did excellent jobs acting, Damien Chazzelle knocks it out of the park 3 for 3 with me here. The emotional journey was just as great as the technical one. Everything was earned, nothing forced. If you love space, space exploration, love NASA, want to work for NASA, some kind of mechanical or electric engineer, or basically anyone that loves a good true story biopic, I couldn’t find you a better one in 2018. Masterful and one of the year’s best films for me.

I watched the first movie again just a few days ago in preparation for GOOSEBUMPS 2: HAUNTED HALLOWEEN, and the movie was better than I remember it. I remember having an awful experience in the theater with two woman just yap yap yapping above me at an advance screening and wouldn’t shut the fuck up after numerous times asking them to be quiet. After walking out of the theater, I thought the movie was okay. On re watch, it is still only okay, but a little bit better giving it my complete attention. I like Jack Black’s performance in the movie, as well as Amy Ryan’s minor role, and the three kids, with 13 Reason’s Why star Dylan Minnette, having good chemistry as well. But there were no scares, were no creepy scenes, it was just a fun, family friendly, little whimsical take on the book series. The Slappy doll was the closest that the first movie got to being creepy, voice to perfection by Jack Black. You see, I read every single volume of the original Goosebumps when I was growing up as a kid, and while the movie was fun to point at and say, “this is from this book and this is from that book”, the story was kind of bland (it just consisted of trying to suck back all the characters into a book which R.L. Stine (Black) had to quickly write in the third act), the monsters were unexciting, and the books were way more entertaining and creepy for someone at that age.

So it’s a little disappointing that Goosebumps 2 was more of the same, and while it did actually succeed to ramp up a couple of kid friendly jump scares and be kind of creepy, when the monsters all come out to play, it was a little bit blander than the first one. In essence, those two things cross each other out and it ends up being just as good as the first one, even though Jack Black is in the film for only 10 minutes (although thankfully he comes back fully to voice Slappy). It seems like this was maybe an unused draft of the first movie that the producers decided to dust off the cobwebs to, have a script doctor change some things, and send quickly into production for a Halloween release. I’ve read somewhere that they had two scripts for this, one that brought back all the returning characters, and one that didn’t. I heard they tried to get Black for the whole movie but he was working on A House With A Clock in Its Walls and was unavailable. So they shot this whole movie, and then Jack Black’s agents called and said, “he’s available for a couple of days of filming if you want to use him in your sequel.” So they quickly went into re shoot mode, got everyone back for a weekend, and it up feeling that all of his scenes are tacked on (especially the sequel set up ending, but Black’s presence still makes the scenes he is in somewhat enjoyable, with a great IT/Stephen King joke reference yet again, continuing those jabs from the original). I wish fucking Sony executives would’ve just waited, and had Black available and Dylan and all the rest of the originals cast schedules come together than try to do basically the same thing but with different characters and just a little bit more creepiness. The time to wait too could’ve also made a new script with a new story nice and tight and ready for an organized and timely shoot.

But, but…you know those Sony executives, if any sequel is 3 years after the original they start to go into panic mode and give audiences a rushed product. But other than the tacked on R.L. Stine sequences, I’ll give it that the movie does feel complete. The first 30-40 minutes of the film has some pretty good set up. It isn’t just 10 minutes of “here are the characters, and then all goofy fake spookiness for the rest of the film.” Jeremy Ray Taylor (who played Ben in the new IT film) and Caleel Harris (who played young Henry Deaver in Stephen King’s Castle Rock Hulu Series) are friends, one is obsessed with the infamous Nikola Tesla, and the other wants to start a junk collecting/cleaning business, are called to an old house to clean some shit out of there. It’s their first junk job, so they want to do a good job. The house they have to clean shit out of is old and creepy and they find a secret passage way to a hidden untitled book, which they open, and Slappy instantly appears and that’s about where I’ll stop before I ruin the entire movie. Taylor’s character has a sister (played coincidentally by the girl in Jumanji that ends up being Jack Black’s avatar) that just wants to write an essay to get into Columbia for college and has a huge crush on a guy that may or may not like her back. Story wise the script pushes her into the story a little bit down the line too. I really liked the movie when Slappy is introduced. I actually jumped a couple of times with some of the kid friendly cheap jump scares the film tries to bring its audience, and the music accompaniment helped as well.

Obviously, you’ve seen from the trailer that Slappy unleashes Goosebumps monsters eventually, and that is where the movie falls flat. The three teenagers basically do the same things that the teenagers did in the first one and try to find some way to stop Slappy and get all the monsters back into a book. Some of the sequences weren’t bad, like the giant balloon spider that Ken Jeong’s character (yes, he’s in this and is still annoying as fuck) builds over his house because of course his single lonely guy character is really into Halloween because the script says he needs to be. And the gummy bear sequence is okay, would’ve been better if not for the terribly shitty CGI, but all the other monsters fall flat, especially when the Haunted Mask makes an appearance. The characters mother, played not as over the top by Reno 911’s Wendi McClendon-Covey, is actually a movie mom you’d want to have around, and she has a great laugh out loud joke moment in her introduction in the film. The film does kind of waste her in the climax though…

Ugh, my review is way too long for a movie like this. In summation, I think it would’ve been cooler if the marketing had made Jack Black’s appearance more of a secret. It was at first, but then studio executives got nervous the movie wouldn’t do well and ruined the surprise in a TV spot. It’s also questionable when watching this where you end up craving going to Netflix and watching the cheesy low budget TV series, that focused on individual stories rather than trying to group of monsters into a contrived plot. So am I giving this a recommendation? I will if you have kids. Looking around the theater, kids were loving this and eating this movie up, and the adults looked like they were pleased that their kids were having a good time. If you are a lonely, die hard old Goosebumps fan, you are likely to be a little disappointed, probably like you were with the first film. It’s all more of the same, and if you are fine with that, then you are likely to get something out of it.

Go see THE HATE U GIVE. It’s only in 37 theaters right now across the country (those of you that live near me its playing at Cinemark West Plano), it expands in two weeks wide, but I don’t care when you do, just see it. You want to know when you can tell a movie is really that good, that it hit everyone in the room emotionally and you can tell everyone thought it was something special. When you look to your left and your right, see some individuals that might interrupt your movie going experience by talking too much to their neighbor, the crackling of something brought from home, the light up of a screen for a text, but when the movie starts: dead fucking silence. No screen brought up, not even the sound of a pin dropping. And when the movie ends, applause and endless talking to each other afterwards. Even though I was by myself (the screening was sold out though), this was my experience watching The Hate U Give.

It’s a movie that while, yes, it is adapted from a YA novel, it is really something that anyone at any age can get into. I haven’t seen that many films this year that has done it, but this film perfectly balances all of its A plots, B plots, C plots, etc. evenly where they all culminate at the end organically. I cared about and emphathized with all of the protagonists and I like some of the twists they threw at some of the characters. I thought some of their actions down the line would stack up to cliches, and while one or two do, there are a couple of characters where I had no idea that they would travel down unique paths in their story.

Not to get too much into plot, but the movie is about a girl named Starr that while she lives in the bad part of town, her and her brother are sent to this predominately white prep school, because most of the kids that go to the regular high school don’t end up down a good path in life. She tells us and shows us that she has one life with her family and friends living in that bad neighborhood, and one at the school where she is actually dating a white student that really cares about her. Anyway, at this party, she meets up with a old friend from her childhood that she shares a deep tragedy with (and was her first crush). She goes down at the party and he offers to drive her home. A white police officer pulls them over, and the friend shows some resistance because he got pulled over for no reason, and when trying to impress Starr with his cool demeanor and making sure she’s ok, while he’s outside the car he is shot to death by the officer, thinking he had a weapon, but just shooting first before even saying anything. Anyway, he dies and the town goes into an uproar, as not only that Starr has to deal with her inner turmoil after the event, but new racial tensions that stretch from her neighborhood to the school. She also has to decide whether she wants to reveal herself as the witness and testify to try and get the officer indicted with a grand jury, but to do that, she might have to reveal that her friend was a drug dealer for a local gang, that used to have close ties to her father.

Sounds really interesting right? It is. It really is. Every minute of this film captivated me on screen. The film is 2 hours and 12 minutes long, but only feels like it is 90 minutes. During the movie I was looking for places that the movie could trim, but I couldn’t find any. The movie EARNS its very, very important message. It doesn’t tell you what the message is and then tries to knock it into your brain over and over again. It shows and presents that message, and then carefully peels layer after layer, viewing all aspects of racial tension and how maybe as a country we can get better. And before you go all gung ho on the movie and say the movie doesn’t bring up how hard a cops job is and what it entails to read a situation, don’t worry, the movie gets into that too with a great dialogue between Starr and her cop uncle that is played by Common.

Starr is played by Amandla Stenberg, who you will primarily know her from playing Rue in the original Hunger Games. She was also in last year’s ok EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, and for some reason decided to do that mutant YA disaster THE DARKEST MINDS that went quickly in and out of theaters two months ago. Well here, she is masterful. If I had my way, she would be a shoo in for a nomination come Oscar season. Unfortunately the Oscars are mostly blind to movies and performances like these, it’s a shame, but maybe this film will have legs and the Academy will have no choice other than to take a look. I haven’t read the book, but I would also give a nomination to screenwriter Audrey Wells, who tragically just died Thursday, a day before the movie came out limited. The dialogue is fantastic, the characterization is perfect, and I’m sure if I read the screenplay page by page, it would be tighter than (insert someone’s asshole here joke).

I loved the little things the film did to subert my expectations. I could’ve sworn that the white boyfriend was going to be the one to turn out to be racist or something or be completely ignorant to racial tension, but no, this kid was actually smart, kind, and willing to do anything for Starr, I was really impressed. The racial ignorance went to another character that I sort of saw coming. I know Anthony Mackie is in this, but his role is kind of limited to playing the kingpin drug dealer, and he only has a few scenes, but those moments reminded me of the supporting actor nomination he should’ve gotten for The Hurt Locker so long ago. Props should be given to Russell Hornsby, who plays Starr’s dad. His moments are tear inducingly great, and he gave the film even more of a truer heart than it already had.

So why are all of you on Facebook falsely singing A Star Is Born’s praises? Yes, it is still a good film, but you all are acting like it is the Titanic of 2018. No, A Star Is Born is not that original, this is the third remake for fuck’s sake!! Instead, get your ignorant movie watching ass out to see The Hate U Give whenever it comes to a theater near you. It is deservedly one of the year’s best films.

My review is going to make no difference to you even if you are on the fence about seeing VENOM. Either you see every comic book movie eventually or you don’t. It’s that simple. You have also probably already seen much of the critic analysis on this film saying that it is a giant mess but some have been giving it the minor benefit of the doubt only if you turn off your brain and admire Tom Hardy’s performance. So, being that I see a shit ton of movies, and I usually tend to go with most critics (although there is a time or two where I completely disagree with them), where do you think I end up on the movie review spectrum?

Venom is a mess. But it isn’t as bad as some critics are saying it is. It is a B-movie that should’ve been released in the mid-2000s (think Jessica Alba Fantastic Four or PG-13 Ben Affleck Daredevil) and might’ve been even considered great back in 1994 if it were released a couple of weeks before or after The Mask (I don’t know why that movie comes to mind, maybe the split personality and tonal similarities). It isn’t as bad as say the new Miles Teller Fantastic Four movie and it is certainly better than The Amazing Spider-Man 2. And yes, it is a much better Venom than Topher fucking Grace gave us back in Spider-Man 3.

But why is Venom a mess? People are complaining that the first half of the film is too slow, and when Venom merges with Eddie Brock, it finally gets things going and doesn’t slow down until the end credits. I’m going to have to strongly disagree. I think the first half of the film is the better half, where the movie gives plenty of time to have Tom Hardy actually make Eddie Brock an interesting character. And it does. I wouldn’t consider it slow at all, especially when Tom Hardy’s performance is so great. He is the best Eddie Brock so far and after this film I couldn’t really seeing anyone else doing a superior job. Tom Hardy is the only reason this film isn’t a giant rushed turd that is rolling way too fast in the wind. He makes Eddie a delight to watch and even though the second half is rushed to the point of a headache, when the movie gets that millisecond to breathe, Tom Hardy brings a bright spot into the rushed mess.

While the film gives time to Tom Hardy to make Brock an actual character, it sacrifices everything else, including Michelle Williams in a completely wasted role, Riz Ahmed’s weird subdued bad guy performance, and not making Venom himself enough of a character. One point in the movie Venom just seems to change his mind about something within the drop of the hat, and the movie doesn’t give the character enough screen time by that point for that decision to really make an emotional impact toward me or any other movie going audience.

And the CGI, oh my God, some of it is really laughable. Every single action sequence in the entire second half of the film has really bad choppy editing and it tries to use really distracting CGI to cover it up. The most memorable action sequence is definitely Tom Hardy driving away from the bad guys on the motor cycle, but even at times you can tell it is the stunt double and they try to do shaky CGI on the other side of the screen to distract you. The final battle is a giant WTF am I watching mess of bad editing and CGI bukake where at points I couldn’t even tell what the fuck was going on.

But…I would like to see a sequel, especially if the filmmakers can take their time and make a much better film using the mid-credits scene with a surprising cameo by a pretty big A-B list actor. Especially if they really are going to go with THAT villain this time around. But bring Tom Hardy back, or your movie is completely going to suck. Here’s the thing? Would an R rating have made a difference in this? Probably not. You still would have the exact same script but with just more CGI blood and guts that probably look as bad some of the rest of the effects in the film. If they would’ve completely overhauled the script, started from scratch with more focus on making it super dark comic book horror, they might’ve had something. But Sony probably said no, try to make something enjoyable and that we can share with Disney if our studio is really going down the shitter.

At least Tom Hardy looked like he wanted to be there, and wanted to do something fun instead of trying to win some kind of award. And the movie is watchable, if you turn off your brain, just go with the flow, and admire the brilliance of Hardy. If you are looking for more in your Venom comic book film, you are going to walk out really, really disappointed. But hey, this movie made $80 million domestically and broke October records not just here in the U.S. but internationally too, so what do I know? So instead of saying this is bad, or it’s so bad it’s good, or this sucks, I’m just going to say, it’s okay, it’s meh, it’s eh, or just give you a simple shrug. To each his own, Eddie.

Say you have a movie you hold dear to your heart, and older movie…maybe not so much older…and you find out that they are remaking it. How does that make you feel? Now how does it make you feel if I told you that movie was going to be remade 3 more times, and you would more than likely live to see all three of those? While I don’t hold any version of A STAR IS BORN dear to my heart, the thought of a movie being remade for the 3rd time, and I’ve seen all three iterations before going into this new one, you can maybe have an inkling of what I was feeling. Basically, I was not looking forward to the story, yet again, but I was looking forward to the performances and mainly the music, because I heard it was sung and recorded live. I do think that this version of A Star Is Born is the most watchable and enjoyable with the Judy Garland version being a very close second, however I am not screaming from the hilltops for this movie to get nominated and win every single award from every single award ceremony that recognizes it so. I think it is a solid, good first time directorial debut from Bradley Cooper, with plenty of room for improvement. Think of Ben Affleck and Gone Baby Gone and you might see what I am talking about. Or Clint Eastwood and Play Misty For Me.

The story is simple, a really famous musician stumbles into a drag singing bar drunk on the way home from a concert on his tour, and he meets and falls hard for the one woman that the drag queens let sing because she has a beautiful voice and a sparkling personality. He takes her on some of his gigs and lets her sing and suddenly, she gets famous. As she gets famous, his alcohol an drug addiction gets the better of him and his career starts to plummet, and since he is with her, starts to be an inconvenience for hers too. Can they stay together with both of them being famous? Well, that questions is obviously answered in each of the four A Star Is Born, and basically each answer is the same, albeit tweaked one way or another. The first A Star is Born back in 1937 deals primarily with the acting organization, the 1954 Judy Garland version still deals with acting and movies but she is an aspiring singer in the movie as well. The God awful third movie with Barbara Streisand deals only with musicians, and then this one does too, although this one is more modern, showing how fame can really really really make or break you, when we live in a time where social media and fast spreading news rules all. And that’s one of the problems I had with this movie. At the beginning, Bradley Cooper has a couple of scenes that deal with his character’s fame and people snapping pics without his permission, trying to force him to take selfies, etc. and I really liked what he was trying to say. However, those examples in the second half of the film are few and far between, mainly glossed over, with not enough emphasis on social media showing his career’s downward spiral. With some of the things that happen, it is shocking he didn’t completely go with what he brought the audience before. He could’ve made an even bigger statement.

If you’ve seen any iteration of A Star Is Born, it has most of the same beats as the original, just tweaked here and there. If you know the ending to any of them, you know the ending to this one as well, although it is changed up just a little bit too. And that is the second problem I had with the movie. I wish I had never seen any other iteration of A Star Is Born, because I think going into this fresh, everything would’ve had more of an impact. With everything that does happen in this, I didn’t have a lump in my throat, or was really shocked with what happened with any of the characters. I sort of just, pointed at the screen and was like “yep, there it is.” Which, don’t you think any filmmaker in his right mind, with remaking a film that has been done three other times, maybe try and pull something off drastically different. To me this movie seemed a little too safe for Cooper to make his directorial debut in. Ben Affleck went all out where his first film was just based off a book and he had no previous iterations of that movie to go on. His directorial debut seemed a lot more original. Did we really need another remake of this film? If he would’ve done something completely drastically different with the story and stayed with the social media fame aspect, I think it could’ve warranted another remake, but instead this movie goes through all the same motions, and all the same beats, with just different dialogue, actors, and some scenes in between. Also, and I am just nitpicking at this point, Bradley Cooper does this one glaring foreshadowing shot in the movie that is wayyyy too in your face. It’s a foreshadowing shot of the ending, and it is with him and Lady Gaga in the car near the beginning of the movie. If you know what happens in the movie and know all the other films ending, this shot gives too much away, and I thought it could’ve been cut or done differently. But like I said, that is just me being a brat and a minor nitpick.

I recommended the movie didn’t I? In the first paragraph? Yes, and I’m sorry it sounds like I’m completely trashing this film. It is probably what I like to call the ‘Frozen” effect, where I hear a movie is getting so much praise and power before I see it and am a little disappointed in what I watch. So let’s get to the really good stuff in this movie and why it is worth watching: the music. The original songs, who knows who wrote them, probably both Cooper and Gaga, are amazing. And the fact that they were sung live and included those takes plus audio into the final cut makes it that much more beautiful. I could seriously never watch this movie again, but own the soundtrack and listen to it until my earbuds pop out of my skull. If ‘Shallow’ doesn’t win best song at the Academy Awards, something is seriously wrong with voters. In fact, most of these songs could get nominated and in the end, A Star Is Born could only be competing with itself come award season in that category, and Cooper and Gaga could be winning an Oscar no matter what. And Cooper does a nice job directing, he doesn’t just point and shoot, the concert scenes up on stage have a lavish quality to them where it feels like you are standing on stage with him, his band, and Gaga. Also, he knows how to shoot performances. It’s a great debut, and he can only improve from here. And to say that he can direct performances well is an understatement, because everybody’s acting in this is grand, including his own. Lady Gaga is great here too (especially since we know we can actual sing and doesn’t ever need auto tune). Now while I don’t think it is necessarily Oscar worthy, I think it is a great start, and she could improve in the future to actually win an Oscar in a different role (I actually think Cooper is the better actor here of the two and acts circles around her in some scenes). I actually like the supporting performances better, especially from Sam Elliot (who plays Cooper’s brother and manager), Dave Chappelle (who plays Cooper’s friend and hints that he was a bit famous but gave it up for family), and Andrew Dice Clay (who plays Gaga’s father). There is this one scene with Elliot and Cooper near the end of the film which ALMOST brought a lump to my throat, and any scene with him and Chappelle was nice and fresh and different.

Anyway, the point is, if you haven’t seen any version and want to this this new A Star Is Born, I absolutely recommend it. You will love it and will probably walk out of the theater in tears, talking about how much you loved it and want to own it when it comes out, the ultimate romantic drama musical (people are calling it a musical, it really isn’t, just a lot of songs inbetween actually characterization, but whatever) for you. You will own the soundtrack and listen to all the songs a million, gazillion times. Walk into this as fresh as possible. If you are like me, obsessed with movies, have seen any of the iterations, if not all of them, or know the entire story, you might find yourself a little disappointed that couldn’t do anything different with the story, but you sure as hell will love the live music. I think all this giant Oscar talk on this film is a little premature and over amplified, I think the only nominations it deserves is for any of the songs, but it is a solid remake, and considering all the remakes we get that are ultimate trash these days, why don’t we just accept the good ones we are given. One last thing, props to Bradley Cooper for giving his own props to his ‘Alias’ television show roots with two little cameos. Made me smile.

When walking through one of those Six Flags Fright Fest Haunted Houses/Mazes looks better and is scarier than the shit show that is HELL FEST, you know your film has a problem. Hell Fest is a giant step backward in the slasher genre, which honestly could be redeemed and saved in a couple of weeks when the “true sequel” to the original Halloween comes out. This is direct to video schlock at best. How it even managed to get a theatrical release I will never know. Now to be fair, the movie does three things right, but it does about a thousand wrong. And in order to explain why this movie doesn’t work, I have no choice other than to spoil basically the entire movie. So if you don’t want to be spoiled, just know that this slasher movie sucks, isn’t scary, the production design is awful, the kills are not that interesting, there is absolutely no character development, it is mostly bloodless, and the blood we do get is CGI splotches. If I had went to that traveling horror maze road show in real life, I would’ve asked for my money back.

***major spoilers from here on***

Okay, let’s dive in. I want to first start out by describing what the 3 things the film does right:
1. The movie isn’t a mystery who dun it. Don’t start suspecting any of the friends, because it reveals very early that this guy is just a murdering wanderer. We never see the killer’s face throughout the whole film. He is an unknown deadly faceless psychopath, and that makes him more menacing in scarier. Even though his mask looks like the mask from Scream, and Michael Myer’s mask from Halloween, fucked, had a baby, and then that baby was set on fire, I loved that they never reveal who exactly he is, even though they give you a tiny little hint at the end of the movie that made him even scarier.
2. The first death of our core friend group was actually a bit surprising. Once all the friends get together in the film, I had it picked out in my mind which would go first and then so on. Surely the female leads possible love interest would survive the film or up until the very very end trying to save her? Nope, he is the first one offed with a giant hammer you use on those strength test games. At that point I was starting to get into the movie, but then unfortunately my list went back in order, the killer ends up just killing two of the friends in a matter of seconds with knife blows with CGI blood and then the third and the first person end up surviving, when I had predicted all three would. Man, if the film would’ve subverted expectations and really fucked up that order, that would’ve been a lot of fun, instead it shocks you, but then seems satisfied and it is business as normal.
3. The guillotine scene. If you’ve seen the trailers you know that Bex Taylor-Klaus looks like she is going to be killed where she is set to get her head chopped off by a guillotine. The scene goes the way you think it will, but then it doesn’t (basically, it is confirmed to be a fake out with a fake head, part of the show, the curtains are closed, they are alone, the killer actually tried to chop her head off, but the blade isn’t sharp enough, so it hardly goes through , but she manages to escape). I thought that subverting of expectations was good, but then the killer kills her and another part of the group in a matter of seconds about 30 seconds later, so everything goes to shit.

See how all three praises are basically back handed compliments? That’s basically what the movie did the entire time, it set you up thinking it was going to be a smarter film than it actually should be, but then kick you in the balls, says fuck you, and does the cliche anyway. The climax is basically just a chase scene through a maze (called Hell, pffft) that is supposed to be one of the scariest walking haunted houses/mazes in the entire country but is actually the dullest thing I’ve ever seen. Six Flags always does it better. There is no tension, and every cliche imaginable is thrown at you. There is a couple of instances where the movie is extremely utterly unbelievably ridiculous. After the main girl’s love interest is killed, the killer takes his phone and is posing as him for a bit. She is texting him in the bathroom (after he hasn’t been seen by them for an unbelievably laughable period of time), and then his phone of course pings in the bathroom and the killer starts attacking her. She tries to call for help immediately but the phone says her call to 911 failed and no signal. Really? After she was just texting her love interest with no problem two seconds earlier? Fucking please.

Also, this whole maze is supposed to look and feel real, even though there aren’t really supposed to be major weapons that can hurt or kill people in the park. The guillotine blade would’ve been completely fake in a real park and the fact that it is real, but just dull and only cuts through a little bit of Bex Taylor-Klaus next was unbelievably unrealistic, it would’ve just bounced off. In the climatic scene, the main girl and her main girl best friend are searching for weapons in the maze but can’t find really anything to slash or stab the killer with, but the killer managers to pull a real sharp ax out of one the dummies in the maze…fucking PLEASE. Oh, and at one point in the movie they are taking shots with those you know drink shot things that look like syringes, but the killer manager to find a real syringe with a really sharp needle just lying somewhere behind the scenes. Yeah…RIGHT. I forgot to mention the girls do manage to find like a big fake bone and a long torch thing, and hit the killer with it. In a real thing like that, those most likely would’ve been foam and fake. Trust me, I know, I’ve been to these things earlier and my life and everything is fake so you don’t get hurt. The movie took wayyyy too many liberties.

The movie hangs on the premise that it would be easier to randomly kill people in a place like this and people would just think it is part of the show, but the movie doesn’t really execute or rather say go with that premise very well. The film only a couple of times kills somebody right in front of somebody or leaves a body on a stack of dead bodies, but the movie doesn’t hone in on where it should. If it would’ve had more focus, it could’ve been a lot more clever. The movie makes the fatal mistake of trying to scare you on the screen by a third of the time just watching these characters go through these mazes and they themselves being scared by carnival cheap ass jump scares. Yeah, that doesn’t work. Everything in it looks like the cheapest ass traveling horror road show I have ever seen. Again, this movie should never have been released into theaters. I’m quite curious to watch this other movie called Blood Fest that was released into theater for a day, and then is available to rent or buy like several weeks after ward. It kind of deals with the whole festival thing too, but it got better reviews, and I’m curious to see if the execution is better. But hey you know what? Since the film paused several times in the climax because of technical difficulties, this movie ended up being free anyway. So there’s that…

As of right now, I’m probably going to be the only one that you’ve heard of or know that thought ASSASSINATION NATION was a brilliant piece of filmmaking. But I’m not too upset about it. I’m going to give it time. Time to hit home platforms and seep into the minds of those that like to “discover” little art house films like these, and then go off, brag to, and convince their friends that they have to watch it right this second. I can always say that I was there opening night (almost by myself, only two other people in a mostly empty theater) and say they actually saw something ambitious and original. This movie, this movie plays directly to our times, yelling and screaming at us that all it takes is a little push to descend everyone into utter madness, and that we aren’t doing shit about it. It is a film that, at the drop of a time, switches genres, and does it so effectively that each transition blends into the other where you can’t even tell what is happening before it is too late. You have Eli Roth on the last end of his pitiful rope doing a “horror” kids movie that doesn’t look like much fun, you have Michael Moore going around and screaming into a bullhorn at people a bunch of things that you probably already know about or have read on CNN, and you have Life Itself, which is just This Is Us sappy and stupid bukake all over your face. Assassination Nation is the only good work coming out this weekend, and none of you are destined to see it.

I don’t know the outcome of how this movie will be looked upon in the future actually. It’s just a simple guess. Instead of it being really appreciated over time it could fall into the “meh, it was alright” category. You never know how these things will be perceived. I mean, when Austin Powers hit theaters in Summer of 1997, it completely tanked at the box office. But when it hit home video, it exploded into two sequels that made a shit ton of cash and made Mike Myers, albeit briefly, funny and relevant again. And it could be is that I went really deep into this movie, trying to dissect it and convey what it was trying to tell me each moment with images, dialogue, shots, camera angles, etc. I just really really enjoyed it for what it was. There is this tremendous tracking shot that lasts a couple of minutes outside a house a couple of girls are staying in that was mesmerizing to watch. I just…I don’t know…have you ever had one of those films that just hit you, and it has hit no one else, and you feel like you have your own special little movie that no one can or is going to try and take away from you? This is it.

If you haven’t heard of Assassination Nation, the plot is very simple. In the town of Salem (yes, this movie is a great sort of riff on the Salem Witch Trails), half of the town’s populations information, texts, snapchats, Twitter’s, pictures, Facebook’s are hacked and all released to the masses. Four high school girls find themselves at the heart of it, and start to see the town slowly at first, but then amped up to shit go bat shit crazy, trying to figure out who hacked them all. The movies message is quite clear: how this country is at the brink of chaos and pandemonium, and how that seems to be acceptable as the new norm. Judging by the trailer, it looks as though this movie goes all out once it starts and never lets up until the end credits. Not true, I thought it was a very slow burn type of narrative. It starts out as sort of a meta comedy, transition into a too real episodic drama, then into a horror/thriller, then into a bit of a actioner, and then finally goes full circle with the last six haunting words in the film back into a meta comedy. There are problems in this film, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it is perfect, in fact, I would say that characterization is a huge problem in this film, as there aren’t really many characters arcs, and the ones that are seemed a little too rushed and not fully formed nor realized. There is one scene in the film that I love, where the girls’ principal is accused of being a pedophile because he has a naked picture of his six year old playing in the bathtub and the main character Lily has this whole discussion with her family at the dinner table on what exactly is pornography nowadays. It’s quite eye opening.

But the acting is quite good. Out of the four girls, only Odessa Young and Hari Nef get enough screen time to get some awesome dialogue quippy chewing, scene stealing moments. Abra and Suki Waterhouse (who is a staple of these films produced by Neon, as she was the lead in the recent film I dug The Bad Batch), are in the film a lot but don’t have very much to say or any time to develop at all. You probably don’t know any of those girls, so let’s get to the people in the film you do know. Bella Thorne gets the “and” credit on the poster here, and just like most “and” people on movie posters she isn’t in the film very much, maybe three scenes, one of the scenes though she has a very good little speech about privacy that hits right on the nose with today’s society. Joel McHale and Pennywise himself, Bill Skarsgard, have the “with” titles on the poster but they get actually more screen time than you might think, McHale playing totally out of character with what he usually does, and Bill Skarsgard stepping back in age playing the boyfriend of the main character Lily, and showing us that if given the right role, he could be a tour de force in a film if he ever becomes a leading man.

One that sees this might tell you that the movie ends too soon or doesn’t end on the right moment. I beg to differ. I think it ends exactly where it should, and gives you enough context clues in the very last short scene to tell you what happened. This isn’t a movie like Kill Bill where you see the 4 girls in the trailers just massacring a entire town with bullets. I know that is what the trailer makes it look like where the film is going to go, but writer/director Sam Levinson subverts those expectations to bring something, while still a bit outlandish, a little more realistic. I do know that a message does not make a movie. Look at Sorry To Bother You, it had a huge message, but the execution was way, way, way off and boring. This film has a message and uses filmmaking and its techniques to get that message across in a thought provoking yet exciting way. If you want to say something, you can’t just be Michael Moore with a bullhorn, with some jokes about issues audiences have already heard way too much about, you need to do something outside of the box. Assassination Nation is that something.

A SIMPLE FAVOR is a pretty good movie that could’ve been fantastic if it didn’t stumble in its landing the last five minutes of the film. But it could’ve fell flat on its face, so I’ll be that glass half full film reviewer today. It’s Paul Feig’s third best film, right behind Bridesmaids and Spy, and definitely makes up for the bullshit that was the Ghostbusters remake/reboot a couple of years ago. Almost the whole time during the movie I was like, “Holy shit, Feig has actually stepped up his game as a director” and was really really really into it, but those last five minutes, his Ghostbusters attempt at physical and dreadful one liner humor peaks out with a very unnecessary pre credits summary of what the characters (that survived) are doing currently. But I’m willing to forgive it, because what came before had a almost pitch perfect tone and the dark humor was devilishly, deliciously funny. Oh, and Blake Lively finally showed that she can actually muster up some kind of performance if need be.

See, I like Blake Lively as a human being (I think her relationship ((so far)) with Ryan Reynolds is perfect and they are a truly happily married Hollywood couple), but I can’t stand her as an actress. The closest she has ever become to actually doing something of note was her small bit in The Town, which even then I didn’t believe her so much a drug addicted stripper/prostitute/whatever the fuck her character was supposed to be in that. But here, she sinks into an abnormally prideful spoiled rich housewife that befriends a quirky widowed Anna Kendrick so that their sons can have play dates. To not spoil the rest of the movie, I’ll just say that Blake Lively goes missing and Anna Kendrick tries to find out what happened to her new found friend, while trying to make sure Lively’s son and husband are okay in the process. Anybody that ruins this movie for you is a monster. It has revelation upon revelation until the end credits roll. There are double crosses, triple crosses, and I think maybe even a quadruple cross? The movie keeps you guessing, which I appreciated. I could compare this movie to another movie and that movies book that it is based on, but if I reveal the title, I reveal all. I don’t think it rips off that book/movie per say, especially with the multiple different revelations, but some of the plotting is very, VERY similar. You’ll know exactly which book/movie I’m talking about when you see it, but if you don’t, just message me and I’ll give you a “ah-ha!” kind of moment.

What makes the movie really work first and foremost is Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick. Oh, and I can’t get away with not mentioning Henry Golding either(he plays Lively’s husband in this and he was just one of the leads in a breakout film, you might’ve heard of it: Crazy Rich Asians). But this is Kendrick and Lively’s show, and their chemistry is palpable, they just play off each other like a perfect acting pair that every director and screenwriter probably dreams of. This is Anna Kendrick’s best work since Up In The Air and Pitch Perfect. Kendrick, while fantastic, her role is a little familiar to people that like her and watch all of her filmography. She’s still that overly quirky and awkward character that you can’t help but adore, however this film really uses that aspect of her to its advantage, and turns it into something a little different and definitely more delightful. Blake Lively is in command here, where whenever she’s on screen you can’t help by being fascinated with what comes out of her mouth and what she is going to do or say next. All three of them turn what are already well rounded written characters into something you can’t take your eyes or ears off of.

And the tone is brilliant too for the most part. The first half of this film is near perfect. It’s a dark comedy that walks that fine line but is smart enough know to not cross over too much on either side. The film has bright, vibrant cinematography and that feel any director or screenwriter wants of a eerie suburbia is gloriously executed here, and never tries to be what it isn’t. Many films have gotten it wrong in the past, most recently the awfully executed Surburbicon from George Clooney. Now in the last five minutes, that fine line the film was walking must’ve tripped on a shoe lace that had impeccable timing to be untied right when the film was about to end. It stumbled into a straight comedy with none of that pinch of darkness that we got throughout the other 1 and 50 minutes. But I don’t know, I may need to do some research, because if the book ends exactly like that, with a physical moment and a stupid lame one liner that is played for forced laughs, then I won’t blame Feig. But it just felt like 2016 Ghostbusters Feig, and if true, he should’ve known better than to try and lighten the tone at near the very last moment of the film. And like I said, those title cards of what the characters were doing after the events that took fold before the end credits hit was unnecessary and should’ve been cut or re written as something else. And while I did like some of the revelations, there is one that I wish it would’ve stuck to, it would’ve been ingenious to end on that note and made for a savory little treat that you could talk with people at the water cooler, but the movie took it further, and I’m willing to be the book did too, so I can’t nit pick too much.

But yes, I did enjoy Paul Feig’s new movie, until the movie started playing I was mainly shrugging it off because of that disaster of a Ghostbusters reboot. But Feig shows here he might have some untapped talent in that weird noggin of his, maybe someday it will bring us something that can be considered a masterpiece. This is a very good film with a couple of problems that keep it from achieving that benchmark.

THE PREDATOR is exactly what I wanted earlier this summer’s Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom to be: A big, dumb, fun, fast-paced action movie that didn’t put me to sleep. And by dumb, I don’t mean insulting to my intelligence like doing yet another fucking hybrid dinosaur. And by fun and not putting me to sleep, I don’t mean selling dinosaurs and trying to turn a monster franchise into a haunted house movie. Those of you going in there expecting the grittiness or seriousness of the first one, you are going to be disappointed. Tone wise it is somewhere around Predators, but maybe a little more lighthearted and with a pinch of that Shane Black dialogue and humor we know so well. This was definitely more fun than Predators, and it didn’t try to rip off the first movie like Predator 2 basically did. Let’s not even talk about the abysmal pile of shit that are the AVP movies.

And it could be that I just had a weird and exhausting day beforehand and needed an escape out of reality. And it could be that I read a lot of critics abysmal reviews (nothing spoilery) and I was expecting a train wreck of epic proportions. But I had a lot of fun to be honest and was very entertained for the tight 1 hr and 40 minute film. And I see what Shane Black was trying to do. He was trying to create an original story that would expand the Predator mythos a little bit, while also not trying to create just a fan service film with too many references to the past films (there are a couple but it isn’t Force Awakens ridiculous). He and fellow co-screenwriter Fred Dekker also tried to actually create characters with personalities in this as well. The two standouts are definitely Treante Rhodes and Sterling K. Brown. I also liked Boyd Holbrook, Jacob Tremblay, Thomas Jane, and Keegan-Michael Key. I actually cared when some of them are eventually offed.

The story develops as you go, but it starts out with the same title font letters and same music as the original, a crash, a soldier getting some alien tech and sending it to a PO Box to keep out of government hands, which somehow his son gets a hold of, with that predator, and another, bigger predator want back, because they both have alternate agendas. That’s as vague as I’m going to get. The film has a MacGuffin, and has an interesting idea of where the sequels can go, but the last three minutes of the film, including the shaky CGI, I’m not so sure it could work but who knows. Anyway, the story cares about the characters while also trying to move the action and story along.

Now the film does have its problems. And some of the problems are bigger than others. Olivia Munn has to be the most unbelievable scientist since Denise Richards in The World Is Not Enough, and when she is firing weapons and spouting off Shane Black dialogue, she is definitely out of her league. The Preddogs, yes you read that right, are in theory a good idea, but in execution are a complete CGI mess. So is the giant ultimate Predator you have seen in the movie. There is a lot of good CGI work as well though, and the good stuff does outweigh the bad.

The semi-finale in the woods has a couple of problems. The editing is extremely chopping and some characters that I thought had died, hadn’t, and I was trying to keep up who was where and what they were doing. Needless to say the first half of the film is infinitely better than the second. And that scene Olivia Munn had cut because of that sexual deviant guy that was in the scene with her, I wish they would’ve re-filmed that with someone else because Olivia Munn kind of just shows up in the film with no real introduction.

But the action is 80s/early 90s B movie solid. The Predator kills are some of the best of the series. I enjoyed the fact that Shane Black acknowledges that the other films exist and didn’t try to do a straight up remake or sequel. He was trying to do something different. He actually cared about the story and where it could go. And while the final 3 minutes are CGI shoddy as fuck, I could see where they could take it if the effects get a little bit better. At first I thought this MacGuffin, I promise I won’t spoil what it is, was going to reveal to be something else. Something bigger, more WTF, more throwback cameo, and more shocking. If you’ve seen the movie message me privately and I’ll tell you what I thought. If what I thought came to fruition, I think it would’ve been much better than what came out. Still, I give it points for trying.

This is the perfect movie this weekend to just shut off your brain and get lost into. I had a lot of fun. The film is action packed, it’s humor works, mostly, and I enjoyed the Predator kills, technology, and weaponry. Next time, Black should focus on really polishing the script and he could give us something really, truly special. But for now, we have this, and hey, I know it’s not saying much, but it is the best since the first, and at least it won’t make you want to Predator laser cannon your own head to never have to experience AVP again…

My Rank of Predator Films:
1. Predator
2. The Predator
3. Predator 2
4. Predators
5. Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem
6. Aliens Vs. Predator